Delusions of Grandeur
by scatteredlight
Summary: If you approach your worst enemy for the right reason, does that make it any less of a bad idea? Haley is about to find out when she makes a deal with the devil. Early season 3.
1. Into the Lion's Den

Note: This is a story about what you would do, how far you would go for your loved ones. It's about risk and reward and learning to let go of the bad and embrace the good. It's about family and true love. It's an ensemble piece (insomuch as I am capable of writing), but at its heart, it is all Nathan and Haley. It is AU with the beginning of the third season, but still loosely follows several of the arcs told that season. Maybe just with a little more depth.

Personal note: I started writing this story six years ago, and probably have no business trying to come back to it after not having written on it in four years. But, here I am, working on finishing it. I've written over a thousand pages of Nathan/Haley stuff, and I'll be honest, this is my favorite. It has bothered me for years that it is unfinished, and my mission is to finish it now.

Standard note: All your usual disclaimers apply, obviously.

**Delusions of Grandeur**

**Chapter One – ****Into the Lion's Den**

As she marched purposefully towards the door, there were literally hundreds of thoughts racing through her head. Stopping abruptly, she indulged in the moment of panic that washed over her, knowing that while she'd end up going in there, she just needed to take her sweet time. This was not something a sane person should or would jump into, and she generally liked to think of herself as being fairly sane.

She wasn't scared, though; Haley Scott didn't get scared, per se. But she was as nervous as all get out right now, that was for sure. This was a dangerous idea, on so many levels. She was well aware that even though she's pretty sure she holds the upper hand here, that the person she was approaching had been known to have a few cards up his sleeve. Always.

Haley Scott was a planner, and accordingly, she had thought this through a million times if she'd thought it through once. She was almost positive that there was very little that could go wrong here; if something did, she'd be honestly surprised. She was covering all her bases, doing all she could to make sure that this didn't blow up in her face.

That was the last thing she needed, and that was the biggest reason that she wished she didn't have to be here. She did, though. Not for herself, specifically, but in a more global way, this was for her, too. She'd benefit from this – this sacrificing of pride, but in a more peripheral sense. And that was okay with her, perfect, in fact. She wasn't doing this because she had to, she was doing it because she wanted to, and needed to.

And that should be enough.

Somehow, that didn't really make it easier. And why would it? She was tossing herself into the frying pan here, and there were no promises that she's going to get what she wanted, what she needed out of this. And if she didn't, then she was going to end up doing something even worse, something that would really piss someone off at her. Shaking her head to rid it of all the doubts and questions and worries, she pulled the door open, stepping through it quickly before she could change her mind.

She told the woman behind the desk, who she was quite surprised to find was a more grandmotherly type than the expected young blonde with a boob job, who she was looking for and her relation to him, and then took a seat to wait. She restrained herself from tapping her feet in time with her rapidly thumping heart, and made herself sit as still as possible, just knowing that he was going to walk out here with a smirk on his big, stupid face over her coming to see him.

He didn't walk down the hall from his office to greet her; oh, no, he strutted like a stupid, too blue peacock with too sharp of a beak. She rolled her eyes, amused that he thought she was stupid enough to come here without a serious reason, or at least without leverage. Leverage. Now there's a concept he's familiar with. He'd use whatever he has in whatever form against anyone, even his own family if it suits his purposes, so why shouldn't he get a taste of his own medicine?

"Well, well, well, what do we have here?" he crowed, just a little too pleased with himself. "Come to beg me to help you win back Nathan? No, you wouldn't do that. Oh, has the annulment come through? Really, Haley, you should know that I'm about the last person who'd ever be on your side for anything when it comes to my son. So unless you're here as a customer, which is fine, because I never turn away business, then you really have no reason to be here, do you?"

Standing up slowly, she made sure to maintain eye contact with him. She sort of felt like maybe she shouldn't look directly at him, like he was Medusa or something. All eye contact should be made through a mirror. She allowed herself the barest of smiles at the thought of angling mirrors around corners and chasing after Nathan, who was dressed in Hercules-esque clothes, as he tried to slay the evil Medusa.

"Well, hello, Dan," she returned, her voice an overly sweet and drippy syrup. "It's so nice to see you, too. It's too bad no one has made an attempt on your life recently – that's really the only time I run into you these days."

Smirking, he shook his head. "Yes, I'm sure that you'd think it was a shame. Now, really, I know you kids these days don't understand the concept of work, but I've got too much to do to stand out here with you doing whatever it is that we're doing."

"What we're doing? Oh, you're about to extend the invitation to me that we step into your office so that we can have a little chat," she told him, the saccharine smile still in place.

He regarded her carefully, trying to gauge what game she was trying to play. "Listen, kid, you're in the minors still. Don't think you can come to bat and hit one out of the park with me, I'm in the majors. As far as you're concerned, I am the majors. Not exactly a guy you should pissing off by coming into his place of business and bossing around."

"Oh, but Daddy Dan, there is so much that the two of us have to discuss," she stated flatly, issuing the challenge with her eyes. He raised his eyebrows at her, shaking his head as he motioned for her to walk down the hall ahead of him. "No, by all means, you lead the way."

He smirked at that, what he perceived as fear, and took off for his office, leaving her to trail behind. Once they're in there, he took a seat at his desk, waiting as she closed the door and moved to sit down.

"This is where you cut the games and tell me why you are here, right?" he snapped. Pointedly, he waved his hand around the room, calling her attention to the campaign signs spread out, ready to be placed in some poor, unassuming fool's yard.

"Gee, and here I thought you liked games," she flipped back, a little unsure of where this bravado is coming from.

"Not when they're played with my son's philandering, soon to be ex-wife, Haley. Then I really don't have much patience for them," he informed her archly, leaning back in his chair. "Now, enlighten me before I get bored and call for 'security' to call you out. In case you're wondering, 'security' would be the, uh, rough looking guys you saw in the garage when you walked in. Of course, you might like being manhandled by them. They'd probably get a real kick out of the part where they can put their hands all over you."

Rolling her eyes inwardly, she ignored the taunts. That was not why she's here, and she was not going to let him suck her into that pissing match today. "Wow, thanks for the offer, but I think I'm going to pass. But really, your generosity," she sighed with faux wistfulness, clutching her hands to her chest, "Is really overwhelming, Dan."

"Why are you here?" he asked, his tone plainly stating that he had no more interest in beating around the bush anymore. "Plead your pathetic case to Deb. Maybe she'll fall for your sob story and help you with Nathan. You're barking up the wrong tree, kiddo."

Shaking her head, she sucked in a deep breath. "I'm not here about my husband, Dan. Shocking, right?" she wondered. "No, the reason I'm here is, unfortunately, a little more serious than the state of my marriage."

He laughed at that. "I always knew you didn't care much about that. Interesting that I'm the one you've come to for that little revelation, but thanks, I needed the laugh."

At that, she was up and out of her chair so fast it fell backward, crashing to the ground. "You ass! How dare you stand there with that smug smile on your face when you're doing the despicable things that you're doing! How dare you?"

Blinking in surprise at the outburst, he leaned forward in his chair. "What the hell are you talking about?" he asked through clenched teeth.

"Lucas! My God, you think I'd come here about Nathan when you're withholding potentially life-saving medication from Lucas? I knew this was going to be ridiculous, coming here, but this is beyond anything I could've imagined."

"What do you know about that?" he asked, his face paling.

"About what? That Lucas has HCM? That he's been relegated to stealing money from his mom's café to be able to pay for his medication? That he won't even be able to do that anymore now that Karen has caught on that the money is missing?" She stopped, physically shaking in anger at Dan and fear for Lucas, as she did every time she outlined his situation now. "And you – you tried to blackmail him? For medication for a heart condition that he inherited from you?"

Dan stood up, obviously rattled by her comments, much to her satisfaction. He clasped his hands together, and the way he was moving and the expressions on his face reminded her of the family dinner she attended about a year ago. He'd looked like a caged animal then, pacing and trying to figure out how to escape, and that is exactly what he looks like now.

"You don't know anything about that," he countered quietly, glaring at her as he nervously walked up and down the length of the room.

"I know everything about it," she challenged him. "Luke told me everything. I know every despicable thing you said to him, every way you tried to blackmail him into being your new whipping boy now that Nathan wants nothing to do with you. You used him when he was at his most vulnerable, and then you abandoned him!"

"So what? Did he send you here? He can't fight his own battles anymore, is that it?"

"He doesn't know I'm here," she admitted, her arms hugging around her middle as some of the fight seeped out of her, "And you aren't going to tell him, either."

He chuckled at that. "Give me one good reason why not. And remember, I said a good reason."

"Oh, that's simple, Daddy Dan," she said, giving him a smirk that should cement her place in the Scott family – it definitely rivaled anything that any of the rest of them have ever thrown out. "You tattle on me, I'll tattle on you."

That stopped him in his tracks, and he turned to face her, trying to gauge her sincerity in that statement. "How very second grade of you, Miss James."

"You must be older than you look if you keep forgetting my last name," she said glibly. "Especially considering it is the same as yours."

"Imagine that," he muttered.

"Yeah, crazy how that works, right?" she sighed. "Look, I've seen you look at both Nathan and Luke like you care about them. Granted, those times are far and very few between and it could just be gas on your part or a trick of the light, but I've seen them. And that's why I'm here. Because I think that there is some part of you, although incredibly tiny and well hidden, that actually wants Luke to be okay."

"You shouldn't presume to know me when you clearly don't," Dan stated evenly, shaking the foundation of her mission a tiny bit. "You don't know what my relationships with either of them are like, and I don't need you to come here and give me your interpretation. Save the analysis for school, alright little girl?"

"This isn't a joke to me," she countered firmly. "This isn't something you can brush off and make it go away. You either agree to give Luke the money for his medication, and hey, maybe act like a decent man to him once in awhile, or I'll tell everyone what you've done to him."

He stared at her, shaking his head. "What difference do you think it will make?"

"What difference, are you kidding?"

"So you blackmail me into giving Lucas money, and what, I get nothing in return?" he scoffed, shaking his head. He wasn't ready to concede yet, he wasn't ready to admit that he'd help Lucas, that he wanted to help the boy and had been unable to come up with a way to do it while saving face.

Sighing, she gave him the sugary smile again. "Correct me if I'm wrong, since you have so much more experience in this area than I do, but isn't that how blackmail works? I hold something over your head, and you jump around per my whims to get it?"

He grinned, pausing in his pacing. "And you've just overplayed your hand, Miss James," he informed her, deliberate emphasis on again calling her by the wrong last name. It amused him that no matter how she tried to hide it, it bothered her. "And that may be how it works on your TV shows, but it isn't going to work like that in this scenario."

"Please," she scoffed. "You accused him of trying to murder you! You choked him, and probably wouldn't have stopped but you found out he was the one who saved you. Why is there even a question of what you'll do? You owe him, for thousands of reasons, for thousands of things. And somehow, not that I think you care, but this is something that will really go a long ways towards fixing things. And you're running for mayor. Even the idiot population of this town wouldn't elect someone who treats their sons the way you do."

"Sorry, but I'm not as foolish as you'd like to think," Dan sighed, giving her a pitying glance as he steadfastly ignored the comments on his mayoral ambitions and chances. "Obviously, there's some reason that Lucas doesn't want Karen to know. He doesn't want to worry her; that was his reason before, I'm sure it still applies now. So if he, or you, want to play, it'll be by my rules."

"If I have to," Haley said quietly. "I will tell her. I'm not going to let my best friend suffer because you're an asshole and he loves his mother too much to let her worry."

"Why don't you just give him money?" Dan sneered, "Since you seem to have all the answers and everything."

Scoffing, she looked out the window. "If I could, I would." She fell silent as she looked out over the car lot, watching the happy potential buyers mill around and the overeager salesmen chasing them down. "He won't accept money from me. Even if he would, I'm having a hard enough time getting by as it is. Life sucks, right?"

"Guess it does," he smiled, not at all commiserating. "Look, kid, your concern – for either of my sons – is not needed, nor is it welcome. If Luke is having a problem, he should come to me himself."

She laughed at that. Outright, in his face. "Not my concern? You stupid, selfish little man! Of course it's my concern. Luke is my best friend, and while watching him suffer might be something that you'd enjoy, I don't. And I won't! I don't care who I have to beg, who I have to blackmail, I'm going to make sure he gets the care and treatment that he needs!"

"Aw, so noble," he mocked, turning away from her. He could almost admire her determination, but it was really more pesky than anything else. "And what about Nathan? What does your almost ex-husband say about this?"

"As far as I know, he isn't aware of Luke's condition because Luke doesn't want him to be aware of it," she sighed.

"Keeping secrets? How very Scott of you, Haley. And here I thought you were above such things. Here's a deal for you," Dan smirked, turning back to face her. "You stay away from Nathan, and I'll get Lucas everything he needs and more. I'll even hold his hand and go to his appointments with him and make sure he gets his lollipop."

Shaking her head, she matched him smirk for smirk. "Sorry, but no deal. This isn't about Nathan, and you aren't going to make it so it is."

"That's my condition," he bit out tersely. "Take it or leave it."

Nodding and allowing a smirk of satisfaction to grace her face, she shrugged at him. "Guess I'll be leaving it then."

He watched as she walked out of his office, not looking back once. He almost called her back, willing to attempt to strike a different deal, but he didn't. How dare she think she had the right to walk into his office and make demands on how he dealt with his son? This was his family, not hers, and she didn't have the right to try and blackmail him like this.

But God, if what she said was true, the kid had resorted to stealing from his mother – that wasn't what he wanted. No one would believe him, but that wasn't what he had wanted. It wasn't what he wanted now, either. Damn it. As if things weren't complicated enough, now he was going to have to deal with this, too.

"Hey buddy," Luke greeted as she approached her locker the next day. "What's up?"

"Hey yourself," she returned with a smile, looking him over worriedly. Ever since he had told her about his illness, she had kept an extra close eye on him. Half of the reason that she let herself get talked into joining the cheer squad was so that she could keep an eye on him at practice, even though no one would ever guess that as a reason.

"Do you have to do that every time I see you?" he asked, his voice quiet as he leaned towards her. "Especially when it has been less than an hour since you last saw me?"

"Yes, I have to do that," she whispered back urgently. "I'm worried about you! You aren't seeing a doctor, so who knows if you're still on the right dosages for your meds. I can't help it; this whole thing really freaks me out. Besides, I'm the only one who knows, so it's like my responsibility or something."

"Well, stop it," he ordered her, softening it with a smile. "Come on, look at me." He spread his arms wide, twirling for inspection. "Do I look different? Do I look sick?"

Tapping her chin as if in deep thought, she grinned at him. "Well, now that you mention it, you are looking a little soft around the middle," she teased.

"Oh, hey, that was a low blow, Hales! You're killing me here!" he exclaimed, pretending to double over with hurt.

Rolling her eyes, she kicked him lightly on the butt. "Come on, I'll walk outside with you. I have to sit with the cheerleaders today – Brooke laid down the law."

"Mandated lunch training session?"

Haley shrugged, looping her arm through his. "Oh, I'm pretty sure it is because she caught me drinking regular soda last night. She kind of went all Exorcist and freaked out on me. I guess that regular soda is a very, very, very bad thing."

"Aw, no more regular soda for my Hales? Poor thing," he laughed, leaning his head on top of hers. "Hey, any news on the Nathan front?"

She grimaced at the question. "Is him still not answering my calls or returning my messages news? Because otherwise, no, none."

"He'll come around, Hales," he tried to assure her, noting the dejection she was feeling. "He will, you'll see."

"Yeah," she nodded with more pep than she felt. "Of course he will. Probably in February or May. I swear, that's when all the big stuff happens." She tried to throw a smile his way. "You're okay, right? You'd tell me if you weren't?"

Sighing, he fought the urge to tell her a little more forcefully that she didn't need to worry about him. Or even more effectively, he was tempted to call her out on her smothering him and constantly worrying about his situation as a way of getting her mind off of things with Nathan. She'd flip if he did, so he kept his mouth shut.

"If something is ever wrong, I'll tell you. Promise, Hales." He held his pinky out for her, and although she rolled her eyes, she hooked hers through it, giving it a little shake.

"You break that promise and I'll break your finger," she said as menacingly as she could. "And that, buddy, is a promise."

"Yes, ma'am," he laughed. "Hey, I'm gonna go sit with Mouth and the guys. You need a ride after practice?"

"I think Brooke will probably let me tag along with her," she smiled, "But if what you're really asking is if I'll ride home with you so that you have an excuse to come in and see Brooke, then fine, I can do that."

"You're the best, Hales," he grinned at her, winking.

"Yeah, I am," she laughed behind him as he walked away, towards the guys. She saw Nathan sitting a few tables away from where she's standing with Tim, and she considered going to say hi, but she couldn't bring herself to do it. He wanted space. She had to remind herself of these things, because letting him back away from her went against all that she was, all that she wanted.

She caught his eye, and she gave him a small wave before making her way over to the table where Brooke could be heard bossing around the rest of the cheer squad.

"About time you got here, roomie! Jeez, we can't make this announcement without you being here," Brooke griped, looking as flustered and harried as usual, but not in the normal Brooke way. There were tears in her eyes, and her face was furrowed in frustration and something else.

"I'm sorry, just had to ask Luke something," Haley said softly. "He says 'hi', by the way." A little embellishing never hurt.

Brooke nodded, looking away to glare at Peyton. "Well, anyway. The reason you all needed to be here today, instead of just wanting to hang out with your beautiful friends," she said pointedly looking at Haley, "Is that today is apparently Peyton Sawyer's last day at Tree Hill High. In Tree Hill, for that matter."

Soft exclamations of surprise filled the air around them. Haley didn't say anything, just looked between Brooke, who was clearly upset, and Peyton, who looked to be a strange mix of sad and relieved. A couple of the girls jumped forward to hug Peyton, begging her to stay even though they didn't know why she was leaving.

When they pulled back, she stood up. "Look, I'm sorry to spring this on you girls at the last minute, but leaving Tree Hill is really the best thing for me right now. I'm so sorry, you guys."

"Where are you going?" Bevin asked, looking confused more than surprised now. "I mean, this is kind of sudden, yeah?"

"Yes, it is," Brooke stepped in, and Haley could tell she was barely keeping it together, "Which is why those of you loyal enough to stick around and honoring your commitments need to step it up now and help me find a girl to fill Peyton's shoes."

"Brooke," Haley whispered, nudging her. Peyton was so not on the top of Haley's list right now, but the way her face fell made Haley feel bad, so she felt like someone had to stop Brooke from saying things she'll regret.

"No, Haley, don't stick up for her just because you left, too!" Brooke was yelling now, done with preserving Peyton's oversensitive feelings. "At least you came back, though. You won't, will you, Peyton? This is it, right?"

Peyton wanted to deny it, wanted to tell her childhood best friend that she'd be back, but she knew it was a lie. "No, I probably won't be back."

"Wow," Bevin whispered, some other girls echoing the sentiment.

The rest of the meeting was tense and uncomfortable, and finally Brooke dismissed the girls. Deciding to head straight to the tutoring center to avoid Luke – this kind of news needed to come from the owner of it – Haley was among the first to leave, hurrying away like her life depended on it. To her surprise, Peyton caught up with her, stopping her in the hall.

"I'd appreciate it if you didn't tell Luke or Nate," Peyton jumped right in, no hellos, no nothing. Haley rolled her eyes, but it wasn't really like she expected anything more from her once-friend.

Haley stared at her, shaking her head. "I know my place, and I'm not going to step on your toes like that. I wouldn't do that."

"Look, I know you think that I've been butting into your relationship with Nathan unfairly, but he's my friend, and I'm just trying – "

"Stop, I don't want to hear the crap about how he's your sudden friend anymore and how that gives you the right to interfere in my life and my marriage," Haley muttered tiredly. "Why are you bothering to defend yourself when one, you think you're right, and two, you're leaving?"

"I just wanted to say that I was sorry."

"Yeah, well, I'm sorry, too," Haley sighed, "But that never really seemed to matter to you, did it?"

She turned and walked into the tutoring center, not a small amount of guilt following her. She could've been nicer to Peyton, she should've taken the time to ask where she was going, could've, should've, would've, it was all too late now.

Peyton followed her, not letting this go. "Look, would it help if I said I was sorry?"

"Are you?"

"In some ways, yeah, I am. But you don't get it, do you? How much it sucks to be left, how bad that hurts. You didn't worry about what you were doing to Nathan by leaving, you just left to do your own thing."

"And I regret that!" Haley exclaimed, the sentiment clearly heartfelt. "Every damn day since." She stopped, shaking her head. "I don't really want to do this. I'm sorry, but you haven't given me much of a reason lately to want to fight for our friendship, and I've got other things to put my energy and efforts towards."

"So, I don't rank then," Peyton noted, pouting. "That's – that's just fine. Who do I rank behind? Chris Keller? Dan?"

"No, Nathan and Lucas."

Peyton nodded, knowing that Haley wasn't messing around anymore. She toughened up sometime after she got back to Tree Hill, and Peyton admitted to herself that she was more than a little impressed by that, and even proud of her.

"Ellie's taken a new job in New York. She invited me with her. It's a good opportunity, and I just couldn't pass it up. And I know that's how you felt, and I'm sorry, whether you believe it or not, for doubting you, for treating you like I have."

Haley nodded. "Good luck in New York."

"That's all you have?" Peyton scoffed. "You have nothing else to say to me?"

"What else is there? Thanks for not being a friend?" Haley sighed. "Thanks for holding my mistakes over my head, even though I never, ever did that to you. Even though I supported you when you cheated with your best friend's boyfriend, when you dabbled in drugs? Screw that, I don't owe you anything. And hey, vice versa."

Peyton stared at her, hurt and dismayed. "Did you hear me out there? I'm leaving, and I probably won't be coming back!"

"I heard you, Peyton, and I'm really sorry that I have nothing else to say about it right now. Honestly, good luck. That's the best I have for you."

Peyton shook her, sighting. "Well, I guess that's that then. Maybe I'll see you around, Haley James."

"It's Scott. And, yeah, maybe," Haley agreed, glancing up at her. "Tell Nathan and Luke soon, would you? They'd rather hear it from you than rumors going around everyone else."

With that, she turned her back on the girl she had once thought of as a friend, letting that door close.

Practice was brutal that afternoon for both the basketball team and the cheerleaders. Whitey had decided to punish his team for planning a party that he had caught wind of, and Brooke was punishing the whole world for her best friend moving away.

"My ass hurts," Bevin whispered to Haley as Brooke's attention is diverted by the potential replacements filing into the gym. "She's your roommate, do something about it!"

"Like what? Get my ass chewed singularly? No way, it's better when she's after all of us," Haley whispered back, shaking her head. "I'm not sacrificing myself for you guys yet. There's still too much Tutor Girl in me."

Bevin giggled at that, clapping her hands over her mouth when Brooke looked in their direction. "Do you think this is funny?"

Both Haley and Bevin shook their heads vigorously, glancing at each other nervously. Bevin shoved Haley towards Brooke, and after giving the other girl a dirty look, Haley walked over to Brooke. "Can I talk to you for two seconds in the hall?" she whispered.

Brooke still looked pissed, but nodded, following Haley into the hall. "What? We've got to find a new girl, Haley. Time's wasting, we're burning daylight, we don't have all day!"

"Uh, right," Haley agreed. "Look, why don't you go over to Peyton's and see her, Brooke. She's leaving, and you don't want to miss this time with her."

"Yeah, well, I really don't want to see her right now, either," she snapped back. "She's leaving! She's just taking off on a whim with a woman she hated yesterday, and she didn't even talk to me about it! What am I supposed to think?"

Haley shrugged, at a bit of a loss. She wanted to help Brooke, and a part of her wanted to help Peyton even, but she was not sure how to do it. "Maybe it isn't about thinking. Maybe it's about going over there and being her best friend one last time. You should do it, you should stay with her until she goes. Don't – don't waste the moments, you know?"

Leaning back against the wall, Brooke sighed. "You speak from experience."

"Yeah, I do. I guess it's better to delay the hurt and anger if it means one last good memory. Don't quote me on that because I don't know if I really believe it, but it sounds good."

"The girls won't care if I leave?"

"Of course not," Haley assured her, knowing it'll be quite the opposite. "We can teach the girls trying out the routines, and you can watch them tomorrow, okay?"

"Thanks," Brooke whispered, smiling faintly at her roommate. She turned and left, Haley standing in the hall watching her go.

"Don't waste the moments, huh?" Nathan's low voice sounded behind her. Whirling around, she smiled broadly at him. "Waste months going on a music tour, but don't waste the moments. Strange logic, Hales."

As intended, her smile faded, and she stared down at her clasped hands. "We all learn from our mistakes, Nathan. Even me."

Sighing, he took a step towards her. "Sorry, I didn't mean – "

"Don't be sorry. Things are what they are, right? What I made them? I'm just dealing with the fall-out of my actions."

"You're giving me a free pass to be a jerk," he noted, smiling at her. "Come on, Hales, that seems like a risky proposition."

"Maybe you won't use your pass for too much longer," she suggested softly. "That would be really nice, you know?"

"You never know," he grinned, tossing her his water bottle. "Those new girls suck, you're going to need a ton of water by the time you get through teaching them the routine. Half the guys on the team could do it better than them," he chuckled, "And that's saying something. You've seen Tim dance before."

She grinned at that. "If by dance you mean flail around like he's on fire and forgot the principle of 'stop, drop, and roll', then yeah, I've seen that."

"Well, those girls? Are worse."

"It disturbs me that you're so familiar with the routine," she half-teased, half meant in earnest. "Spend a lot of time watching the cheerleaders."

"Jealous?" he grinned, knowing that she is.

"I – no, well, maybe a little," she sighed, her cheeks flushing pink at being caught. "Well, now you know my secret. I get jealous."

Winking at her, he turned to head back into the gym when Whitey started screaming his name. When he got to the doorway, he paused, turning to look back at her. "You do realize you're one of the cheerleaders there to be watched, don't you?"

Her mouth dropped open, and luckily he left before she could get giddy and do a little dance in front of him. She's clutching the water bottle to her chest, so encouraged by that that she's actually excited to go back to the practice. And she did a little dance. Squealed and did a damn pirouette. Stranger things have happened to her, but wanting to go to practice was still pretty weird.

The rest of their practice was uneventful, even though, as Nathan said, the girls needed a lot of work. The cheerleaders finished before the basketball team, and despite several offers of rides – something that still surprised her coming from these girls – she decided to wait for Luke as planned. Part of it was that she wanted to find out how he was doing with the whole Peyton leaving thing, and part of it was that she just wanted to make sure he didn't have any physical problems.

When they're done, Nathan waved goodbye to her before exiting to the locker room with Tim. Luke came over, shaking his head at her. "I hope you weren't waiting on him," he noted.

"Nope, it's all you tonight. Hey, how are you feeling?" she asked, concerned over how pale he looked. "Luke, if you're not up for this, then – "

"Haley, stop it, I'm not quitting the team," he hissed. "You know that. Look, I'm going to grab a quick shower and change. You okay out here?"

She gave him a funny look. "What's the alternative, going in there with you? It'd be great to see Nathan in the shower, but I can leave the rest of you."

"Gross. Yeah, you're fine here," he groaned. "I'll be quick."

"You better be. I know where you hide the spare key to the truck, and I'm not afraid to use it," she teased him as he headed for the gym, throwing his middle finger up at her over his shoulder.

She turned back to her math homework, not even paying attention that someone had entered the gym until they cast a shadow over her. Glancing up, she groaned upon seeing Dan.

"Has Satan sent you for me? Gosh, if I'd known my time was up, I would've worn my fancy underwear," she mock pouted. "So, which one of your sons are you here to torment tonight?"

"I'm here to see you, actually," he countered, mildly amused by her flippant attitude toward him. At this, she sat up and closed her book, waiting for him to go on. "You're not surprised?"

"I try not to let myself be surprised by anything you do," she shrugged carelessly. "What do you want? Level threats on me about staying out of your sons' lives? That'd be so novel and neat, except not at all."

"Actually, I'm here to tell you I'll give into your blackmail, on one condition."

"Did we not already have this conversation?" she sighed. "It'll be tedious if I have to define blackmail to you again."

"Don't get smart," he growled. "Here's the deal: I'll get Lucas his medication and pay for his doctor visits; since you've already refused to stop seeing Nathan, I want something else."

She stared at him, a little nervous to find out what he wanted. "And that would be?"

"My secretary/admin assistant told me she's cutting back her hours today," he informed her, "And by all accounts, you're a responsible kid. You come to work for me, and I'll make sure that Lucas gets everything he needs for his heart."

"What?" she scoffed, laughing it off. "You want me to work for you? I'm sure this will come as a surprise, but I'm in high school all day and I have cheer practice after school. Plus, I have a job already."

"Waiting tables? Quite the career ambitions you have, Haley."

"I like my job," she sighed, "And I like the people I work with there. Besides, I'm in high school, no one expects me to work in a law firm yet."

"Even my bitch of a wife?"

Haley blinked in surprise, caught off-guard by that. She'd gathered things were again rocky with them from what she'd overheard Deb and Karen talk about, but she hadn't realized they'd be referring to each other in those terms.

"Yeah, even her." Stacking her books up, she glanced at him again. "Seriously, what is your condition?"

"That is my condition, Haley. We can work around your school and cheer practice, and I'll make it worth your while to quit the café job. Double your hourly wages," he bargained. "You'll get exactly what you wanted when you came to the dealership yesterday afternoon, and you'll get a little more on top."

"Why? Why would you want me working at your dealership?" she asked, confused and irritated that he'd managed to put her on the defensive. She was supposed to win this – this thing, not him. He was never supposed to get the upper hand.

"Agnes wants to get off earlier in the afternoons and not work weekends. She has grandkids," he said again, and she wasn't really sure she believed that. "I don't have the time to go through the hiring process right now."

"I – this is too weird," she laughed oddly, chewing on her lower lip. "That is seriously a condition you're putting on this? Me working for you?"

"Yes, it is. Think about it, I'll be paying you for a few hours of work each day so that I can buy my son drugs and take him to the doctor," Dan smirked. "Don't be stupid; don't turn this down."

She opened her mouth to reply, but they're interrupted by the sound of the door slamming. It was Luke, and he had his angry, self-righteous scowl on his face as he stormed across the gym towards them.

"Get away from her!" he yelled, charging at Dan. "What the hell do you think you're doing? You have a problem with me or Nathan, you bring it to us. You leave her out of it."

"Luke!" Haley exclaimed, trying to get between him and Dan, but she's easily sidestepped.

"I mean it, Dan, get the hell away from her, now!"

The outburst had drawn attention, and Whitey, Nathan, and the rest of the team all came running in, eager to see what was going on.

"Luke, stop!" Haley yelled again, grabbing at his arm, but he easily shrugged out of her grasp. "What are you doing, Luke?"

Nathan and Whitey ran over, too late to stop Luke from getting his hands on Dan, but quick enough to break it up before any damage was done. Haley stood there to the side, panting from the adrenaline rushing through. If she was alone, she'd sit down and have a good cry; a situation this heartbreaking – no pun intended – deserves a good cry. And heartbreaking it all was.

Whitey moved to her side, taking time to scowl fiercely at Dan. "Are you alright, darlin'? You didn't catch an errant elbow, didja?"

"I – I'm fine," she assured him, forcing another smile. It all felt so forced these days.

"She's not fine!" Luke protested. "I come in here, and he's got her cornered. Who knows what garbage he was spewing this time?"

Nathan glanced at Haley before focusing on Dan. "What are you doing here?" he asked warily. "You aren't supposed to be here."

"I just came to take care of a little business," Dan smirked, enjoying the way his words made Haley squirm. "I'll just finish it up another time."

Making a show of straightening his tie, he lavished them all with one of the fakest smiles any of them had ever seen. Haley rolled her eyes, Whitey had to tighten his grip on Luke who tried to wrench away to go after him, and Nathan just looked sad and confused.

As Whitey began to lecture Luke on appropriate behavior, Nathan moved over to Haley. "What did he say to you?"

"Nothing he hasn't said a thousand times before," she relayed. "He's nothing if not predictable, Nathan. Don't worry about me. It's all fine."

"I don't like seeing him near you," he admitted. "I don't trust him not to do something to hurt you."

"He's a jerk, but he's not violent, is he?" she asked, already knowing he wasn't. "It's fine," she brushed off dismissively.

"Okay," he nodded. "I just know how he can be, and you shouldn't have to put up with that from him, Hales."

She smiled, touched that he's showing he cares. "Thanks, Nathan. I promise, though, that I'm fine, so don't worry. I've pretty much figured out to let most things he says roll right off my back."

"That's my girl," Nathan grinned, blushing when the words hit him. She knew that was a slip, and went into territory he still wasn't ready to go back into with her, so she let it go, just giving him a brief smile.

"Well, I'd better get going. With Brooke gone tonight, maybe I can get ahead on my homework or something. It's an exciting life I lead, right?" she mocked herself, pleased to draw a laugh from him.

"I'll see you tomorrow," he smiled, "And hey, for what it's worth, sorry about him."

Feeling guilty that Nathan would blame himself for Dan showing up and talking to her, she waved it off. "Really, no biggie, I promise."

"Yeah," he nodded, still looking doubtful as he watched Dan stand there glaring at all of them. "No biggie."

Touching his arm gently, she smiled before turning away and linking arms with Luke to walk him out of the gym. Nathan watched as she went, a little jealous that it was Luke she'd left with instead of him, but he hadn't offered her a ride and he hadn't given her any reason to think he wanted her around, so he couldn't be too affronted by it.

The guys watching the dust up had already left, and Whitey sent a scathing look Dan's way, but let things go this time. Nathan waited until Whitey was completely out of the gym before turning towards his father.

"Stay away from her," he said coldly. "Leave her alone. Don't talk to her, don't look at her, don't do anything to her."

"You don't think Miss James has the mind to know what she wants? Maybe she doesn't think I'm quite as despicable as my own sons do," Dan sneered.

"She probably thinks that more than we do," Nathan countered with a cold laugh. "She had a real family growing up, with parents that actually cared about her and wanted the best for her. She knows what it's like on both sides, thanks to her exposure to you."

"Grow up, Nathan. Not everything is quite as black and white as you seem to think it should be," Dan sighed. "Things can be in between."

"Not with Haley. You stay away from her, Dad. This isn't something I'll overlook you on," Nathan stated obstinately. "Just do us both a favor and leave her alone."

Nathan turned to leave and Dan followed after him. "What if she doesn't want to leave me alone?" he smirked at the tensing of his son's shoulders. These boys were easier to get to than Deb, for crying out loud. You'd think one of his offspring would learn what a poker face was.

"She doesn't like you, why would she want anything to do with you?"

"Aw, she doesn't like me?" Dan pretended to whine, snapping his fingers in feigned disappointment. "And to think she could've been the daughter I always wanted."

"Shut up," Nathan growled. "Just stay away from her, and do me the same favor."

Dan stopped in his tracks, watching him go. There was a certain amount of dejection that came with his son's harsh words, even though he knew he went out of his way to provoke them. They…hurt, though. Knowing that Nathan would rather protect his estranged wife than even utter a greeting to him that didn't involve raised voices and demands was a bitter pill to swallow.

They were both virtually out of his reach; neither of his sons wanted anything to do with him, with good reason. He didn't know how to relate to them, to interact with them in ways that wouldn't drive them away.

But Haley did. That was why he wanted her working at the dealership, and that was why he wanted to press her into more of an alliance than what he knew she intended. He was loath to admit it, but he admired her for approaching him and demanding that he take care of Lucas. The boy had too much pride to do it himself and he had his head in the clouds about telling Karen, so he did need someone to go to bat for him. He just hadn't expected it to be the wife of his other son.

She was the link that had brought the boys together; why not use her expertise to do the same thing for himself? And like he told her, he did know that she was supposed to be smart and quick on her feet, and there are worse qualities he can think of for employees.

Give and take. That was what relationships are built on, particularly those of the business variety. So he'd enter into this business arrangement with Haley, he'd help Lucas out, and she'd help him with his boys. And if he was really lucky, Haley working for him would piss Nathan off enough that the marriage fiasco will finally be over sooner than later.

That was not too much to ask, right?

"What was Dan saying to you?" Luke asked Haley when they were finally on their way to Haley's place.

"What does Dan always say to me?" she retorted wryly. "That Nathan is too good for me, that I should give up the marriage, blah blah blah, he thinks he's so great, King of the Universe."

"Just the known universe," Luke laughed. "So, he really wasn't bugging you?"

"Not anymore than he bugs me in general," she shrugged. "Besides, Luke, I don't care what he thinks about me. That's never mattered. I'm way more worried about what he says and does to you and Nathan."

He threw a smile her way in an attempt to reassure her. "I don't know about Nathan, but I'm so over all things Dan. So he'll never be the father I've dreamt about. Who cares, right? I've got one parent so great that she makes up for him."

"Yeah, you do!" she enthused. "Hey, so how are you doing with this whole Peyton thing? I didn't get a chance to talk to you about it yet."

He shrugged, sighing. "She told me she's still in love with me," he groaned. "That is part of the reason why she's leaving. Because she's too good to hurt Brooke again like we did before."

"What?" Haley snapped sharply. "That is such bullshit. What does that even mean? That the first time, it was just an accident that she was chasing you around? Please, that girl is whacked."

"Haley!"

"What? It is! If she's 'too good' to do it, then she should just not do it. No offense, Luke, but you're not so irresistible that she'd find herself jumping you at every opportune moment."

"Hey, you don't know that!" he protested, scoffing when she laughed hysterically. "You don't. Maybe she does find me that attractive."

"Well, first of all, the mutual brooding must cancel itself out. And second, you two look like you could be brother and sister. So unless she has a 'Flowers in the Attic' fantasy, the attraction really can't be that great," Haley teased him, cracking up when he nearly ran off the road. "Oh, I'm teasing, now drive like a normal man."

"Seriously, do you think she means it?" he asked quietly, clenching the steering wheel. "Or is this something she's saying because she's leaving and she thinks that it is something I want to hear?"

"Is it?"

"I don't know," he admitted, cringing. "A part of me thinks that it is, but maybe it's just unresolved stuff from last year."

"Oh, Luke," Haley sighed, shaking her head. "What about Brooke?"

He shook his head, leaving the question hanging as he pulled into a parking space and even as they walked to the apartment in silence. "I don't know. We aren't even anything now, and I'm not sure she'll ever get to a place where she wants us to be."

"Luke, don't do this to yourself, don't mess up another chance with her."

"Are you just saying that because you're mad at Peyton right now?"

Shaking her head, she sighed at him. "Don't be pathetic, Luke. After last time, you seemed to realize that it came down to Brooke for you. Changing your mind constantly isn't endearing you to either of them."

"Getting it wrong wouldn't either," he pointed out, sighing. "You're right, though. I hadn't thought of her like that in ages, and now that she's leaving and brought it up, it got me thinking about that stuff again."

"Thanks for the ride, buddy," she smiled when they get to her door. "Want to come hang out? I doubt Brooke will be back tonight, but some people say I'm not the worst company in the world."

He shook his head in the negative. "I'm just going to go home, I think. It's been a weird and long day."

"Yeah," she nodded, understanding. "Well, okay. Pick me up for school tomorrow?"

"You bet," he grinned. "Hey, you're okay with everything, right? Nathan isn't being too big of an ass or anything?"

"He's being fine," she laughed, shoving him out the door. "I'm calling you if I need help on that AP Lit homework, by the way. That's your warning."

"Yeah, yeah, I'll see you in the morning, Hales."

"Bye dorkface!"

He rolled his eyes at her good-naturedly before jogging down the stairs and out of her sight. Pushing the door shut, she glanced briefly at the guitar propped on its stand, fighting the urge to kick it. Blaming inanimate objects for mistakes she made was probably not the most mature way she could go, but she was still pretty sure kicking it would make her feel a bit better.

When the knock sounded on her door, she rolled her eyes, sure that Luke had changed his mind and decided to stay and hangout. To say she was surprised to see Dan there when she swung the door open was an understatement.

"W – what are you doing here?" she sputtered, glaring at him.

"Don't play dumb," he sighed. "It was too long of a day at work to deal with that kind of façade. You know exactly why I'm here, and the sooner you agree, the better off not only the two of us will be, but Lucas will be. And isn't that what is important here?"

"I don't want to work for you," she said quietly, but firmly. "That's not going to serve any purpose at all."

It was obvious to her from his expression that he had something in mind that made him think it will serve his, but for the life of her, she didn't know what it is. She couldn't come up with anything plausible that would justify his demanding this of her.

"Do you want Luke to get these things that he needs? Because I'm offering that up, and all I'm asking in return is that you play secretary for a few hours a day, doubling what you're making now. I'm failing to see where this would seem like a bad thing to you," he said in an overly saccharine manner that had her staring at him shrewdly.

"You hate me," she stated flatly. "You hate me and you hate what I represent in Nathan's life. Hell, you probably hate what I represent in Luke's life, too!"

"That doesn't matter. And even if there were the nefarious reasons you're assuming there must be, it doesn't matter. I accept your terms, you accept mine. It's not that hard." He grinned widely at her, showing as many teeth, which she wanted to kick, as possible. "We'll even put 'Scott' as your last name on your name plate. Nepotism at its finest, right?"

She made a gagging noise at him, smirking when he got angry. "Sorry, but reminding me that taking a job from you would be a form of nepotism isn't exactly a ringing endorsement of this idea."

"This isn't up for negotiation. Either you take the damn job and the egregiously inflated salary I'm offering you, or you're on your own with Lucas," Dan spit out. "This is it. Final offer, you can take it or you can leave it."

Decision time. She sighed inwardly, having hoped it wouldn't come to this, to the point where she had to actually make a deal with this devil in a nice suit. He was supposed to do what was best for his son and leave things at that. This was the last thing she wanted, but to protect Luke in the way he wanted, in the way he had begged of her, she had to do this. She had to take this deal.

Groaning, she held her hand out, wincing at the triumphant grin that crossed his face. "Great, you can start on Thursday since there is a game tomorrow. I'll make sure that Agnes is there to show you the ropes."

"Great," she echoed faintly, relieved only that he headed towards the door. "And you'll take Luke to the doctor immediately?"

"Of course, as soon as I can get him to agree to it."

She nodded, afraid that was going to be easier said that done. She was pretty sure she could browbeat him into it, but it was a matter of him telling her about Dan's soon-to-be offer first. And she wasn't sure he'd volunteer that information.

"Okay," she nodded. "Well, it's be real….something. Goodbye, Daddy Dan. Don't let the door, well, you know the rest."

"See you at the game tomorrow, Miss James. And don't show up for work in jeans. This is a real place of business, not some third rate café."

She ignored that, slamming the door shut behind him once he stepped out.

"Oh, God," she whispered aloud, fear and anxiety setting in. "What the hell have I gotten myself into?"


	2. Because the Sky is Blue, I'd Die For You

**Chapter Two – ****Because the Sky is Blue, I'd Die for You**

She strode quickly through the halls at school, hoping to finish out the rest of the day by avoiding Luke and Nathan in the same manner she had all day. Especially Luke, which she hated because she wanted to check on him and make sure he was okay. She caught a few glimpses of him in the halls, and they are in the same Literature class so she saw him in there, but she still worried and felt the need for a closer look.

"Haley!" Mouth called to her as he approached. "Hey, how's it going?"

"Hi Mouth, bye Mouth, can't talk now, see you later!" she called, hurrying past him. If she could just make it to the girls' locker room without seeing either of them or being stopped, then she wouldn't have to talk to them at least until practice was over. And if she told Brooke, maybe Brooke would call practice a few minutes early so that Haley could scoot out before the boys were finished.

"Are you avoiding me?" A voice – Nathan's sweet, sexy voice – sounded in her ear, causing her to jump out of her skin. "Because it feels like you're avoiding me."

Glancing up at him, she barely made any eye contact. "Nope, no avoiding, just busy, really, really busy," she rambled out, impatiently continuing to hurry towards the locker room.

"Then can you stop for a minute?"

Sighing, she did so abruptly enough that he crashed into her and would've sent her flying forward if he hadn't wrapped his arms around her at the last second.

"Hey," he whispered, smiling to himself as he felt her shiver.

"Hi," she whispered back, brushing hair out of her face and straightening up her clothes when he released her from his hold.

"What's going on, why are you avoiding me? You didn't even come outside for lunch today. Did I do something wrong?"

Grimacing to herself as feelings of guilt for making him feel bad assailed her, she pasted on what was probably the fakest smile ever and looked up at him. "I'm just busy with tutoring and stuff. You know, school."

He laughed at that, rolling his eyes. "Hales, this is me. I know you better than that, and you can barely even look me in the eye. What's going on?"

"Really, it's just this whole busy thing," she sighed. "Trying to keep up with school and tutoring and now cheerleading, and then trying to make ends meet with work. It's hectic."

"Haley, if you need help, I can spot you some cash."

"No!" she exclaimed, softening her voice as the offer really sunk in. "Oh, Nathan, that's really nice, but I have to do this myself, okay? I put myself in this position, and I need to be the one who figures out how to deal with it."

Knowing he wasn't going to get her to budge an inch on this, he nodded. Setting a hand on her shoulder, he pulled her to him in a brief half-hug. "Hales, if you need anything, ask me. I'm not – I don't want things to be hard for you, okay?"

"I know," she nodded, pissed at the prickle of tears forming behind her eyelids. "It's just, well, I meant what I said. This is for me to do, not anyone else."

"Okay, Stubborn," he gave in, smiling. "Hey, the offer stands, though. And uh, don't avoid me. I kinda like it when you make a point of saying hi to me a couple of times a day."

Scowling at his teasing reminder of how she was the one who followed him around, she pouted. "Only if I have the misfortune of running into you," she retorted, smiling indulgently when he laughed. "Look, I have to go get changed for practice. See you around, Nathan."

He watched her go, irritated that over the past few weeks, for some unknown reason, he had dropped lower and lower on her totem pole of importance. When he first got back into town after High Flyers, she was constantly near him, trying to get him to talk with her, interact in any way. It bothered him more than he cared to acknowledge that she was spending most of her time with Lucas.

It's kind of girly, he knew, but the fact that she was less and less concerned about cornering him was really starting to freak him out. A thousand scenarios were running through his head about it at any given time, and every time he saw Luke laughing at one of her jokes, he wanted to go slam his head into a locker.

That pissed him off more than anything, even though it's stupid because he knew there was nothing there. Lucas was still ridiculously hung up on Brooke – or was it Peyton at this moment, and he was pretty sure Haley still wanted him, and they've never been anything more than friends anyway. But he just couldn't let it go that Luke had the access to her that he wanted for himself.

"Hey man, you coming?" Tim asked, nudging Nathan in the side. "Having a little daydream there? Picturing the wifey in pasties again? I could be down with that."

"Shut up, and if you picture Haley as anything but fully clothed, I'll have to kill you," Nathan snarled, glaring at his friend. "Let's just go."

There'd be plenty of time to pine for his wife later.

Once practice was over – not before the guys' was, though, so both Luke and Nathan were waiting for her – Haley tried to mentally prepare herself for telling Karen she was quitting as both the guys approached her, Nathan being the one to back off. Awkward. She was going to have to accept Luke's offer of a ride, unfortunately; he knew she was scheduled to work at the café tonight.

Brooke came bounding over to her. "So, what do you think? Should I choose Erin to replace Peyton? I mean, no one can really replace her, but don't you think she's the best to fill the spot?"

"I think you'd know a lot better than me," Haley answered truthfully. "If that's who you think is best, then yeah, I'm sure you're right."

"Oh, I like it so much when people say that," Brooke beamed. "Oh, look, it's Broody." She allowed herself a second to fluff her hair. "Broody, come here!"

"Hey Brooke, hey Hales. You ready to go? I know you have to work tonight."

"Uh, yeah, that's fine, let me just go grab my bag," she nodded, taking off to give them a few minutes. And to give herself a few minutes to brace for the ride to the café. Not telling Nathan she'd be working for Dan was hard; not telling Lucas was going to be like torture. He'd known her too long to fall for the evasive tactics that still trip Nathan up a tiny bit if she stayed persistent – he'd suspect, but he wouldn't know for sure. Luke wouldn't be having any of that; he's known her too long to not realize when she was trying to hide things.

Nathan, of course, was standing by the door to the girls' locker room, so she couldn't get in there without talking to him. It was so much easier to keep this thing a secret when she didn't have to talk to or look either of them in the eye. Didn't they know that?

"Hey, Nathan," she smiled, trying not to feel like an awkward and gauche little girl. "You had a good practice."

"You watched?"

"Sure," she smiled, hoping the diversionary tactic will hold, "I'd rather watch you than the girls trying out for cheer."

"Oh, be still my heart, I feel so special," he intoned dramatically.

She laughed, leaning against the wall next to him. "No, really, who else would I watch? Tim?" He laughed when she crinkled her nose. "You know it's just you, Nathan."

He sobered when she said that, sighing. "And Luke."

"Huh?"

"You watch Luke, too, Hales. I've seen you, so you don't have to deny it."

"That's nothing," she scoffed, trying to brush it off. "I told him he was getting soft around the middle; I wanted to see if it I got inside his head and had him working harder."

Nathan laughed at that, leaning closer to her. "Hey, you want to hang out after practice tomorrow? We haven't had much of a chance to just talk and stuff, so maybe we could grab some dinner and you could help me with my math homework?"

She wanted to scream in frustration that he was asking her this now. If she was to be working at the café tomorrow, she'd tell him to stop by there and she'd help him when there were lulls in the customers. But even though no one knew it, tonight was to be her last day at the café, and then it was the all bullshit, all the time network with Dan starting tomorrow.

"Oh, Nathan, I wish I could, but I have to work," she sighed, thumping her head back against the wall. "I guess I have bad Karma, huh?"

"How's that?" he asked, fighting to ignore the disappointment that came with her saying 'no'.

"Well, you finally want to see me and talk to me, and I have to work," she whispered, wistful. "If Peyton was still here, she'd laugh in my face and call it poetic justice."

"And you'd tell her to screw off, so it's all good," Nathan winked. "Hey, couldn't I just stop by and hang out tomorrow? I promise I won't get in the way."

Sighing inwardly, she smiled wistfully at him. "You don't realize how much of a distraction you are to me, do you?"

"I know I'm hot, but Hales, I figured you'd have an immunity built up by now. At least for when I'm wearing shirts," he teased. "I can't be that much of a distraction, can I?"

"Oh, you're something," she laughed, grabbing his hand and squeezing it tight. "I really wish that would be possible, but it won't work tomorrow."

"Why not?"

"Um, well, like I told you earlier, things are tight. So I need the tips, and that's where the thing about you being a complete distraction to me comes in."

He grinned at the thought of being that big of a distraction to her. "You can't even spare me five minutes, huh?"

"Nathan, math homework with you always takes more than five minutes," she teased back. "We can study together on the bus on the way to the game on Friday. Oh, but you probably have guy pre-game stuff to do. Um, well, maybe Saturday or Sunday evening?"

"On the bus would be fine," he smiled. "Whitey might have a heart attack at the sight of me doing homework, though."

"Oh, I think that's a chance we should be willing to take," she giggled. "Um, I'd better go. Got work today, too."

"You're not running yourself too ragged, are you?" he asked. The concern he'd been showing for her recently made her feel like she's melting and soon she'd just be a sloppy little Haley puddle on the floor.

"Nope, I'm just fine. Thanks, though, for worrying," she smiled somewhat shyly. "With Mom and Dad gone, I don't get too much of that."

He nodded in understanding. "Uh, don't look now, but Brooke and Luke are fighting again. Tell me you aren't going to rush out there and play babysitter."

Stifling the growl that rose to her lips, she shook her head. "Nope," she countered, popping the 'p'. "I'm getting my bag out of the locker room and then dragging Luke out of here. On the way to the café, I'm going to chew him a new one about not being a dumbass when it comes to Brooke. Being in the middle of them is really hard work!"

"I don't even want to know," he laughed, pushing away from the wall. "See you tomorrow, Hales. Don't avoid me, okay?"

She blushed at his wink, but nodded her promise to not avoid him. When he asked like that, she couldn't argue with it. She was quick to go and grab her things out of the locker room, unsurprised to find Brooke and Luke fighting in the same place when she returned.

"Break it up, you two. Luke, let's go, I have to be at work," she told him, tugging on his arm. "And Brooke, call me a half hour before closing if you want me to bring something home for you, okay?"

"Will do," her roommate smiled back at her before turning to Luke and glaring at him in a way that Haley hadn't seen her do in quite awhile. "I'll see you later, Hales. And I hope I don't see you any time soon, Scott."

Luke turned and stormed out of the gym, leaving Haley to grab her bag and chase after him. "Luke, what the hell?" she called out as she caught up to him. "That was more than a little assy, why'd you run off?"

"Why have you ignored me all day?" he stopped, turning to counter. "Why did you sit at the back of the room in Lit today instead of up by me? Why did you ignore me at lunch even though you said you'd sit by me today?"

"I've been busy," she sighed. "I've got things to take care of, and some of them couldn't wait. I wasn't avoiding you." Gosh, these Scott boys were sensitive. It's like they had radar for people ignoring them or something. What was up with that?

"Haley, I know when you're ignoring me. Plus, you aren't even looking at me now." Groaning, she looked up at him. "What's going on, Hales?"

"Nothing is going on, Luke," she sighed, hating to lie to him when he was going to find out she was quitting the café in just a little bit anyway. "Just let it go, dude."

"Fine, whatever," he groaned, getting in the truck. "It doesn't matter anyway."

"What's going on with you and Brooke?" she asked, diverting his attention to one of his favorite topics of musing. "She looked, um, not happy."

"Yeah, well, she's not," he agreed. "She's downright pissed as hell, actually."

"Did you do something? What did you do, Luke?"

"I didn't do anything," he growled, irritated with the assumption he knew everyone will make. "Peyton told her what she told me. And now Brooke is mad."

"Why is she mad at you? That's Peyton's problem, not yours, right?"

"It's Brooke," he pointed out, and she immediately nodded, conceding that Brooke would be likely to get bent out of shape over Peyton's crush, even if Luke had nothing to do with perpetuating it. "She doesn't need logic or anything of that sort to blame me for something I had no part in."

"I'm sorry," Haley offered. "It sucks, the whole conflict, having the person you love be pissed at you thing. I can definitely relate."

"And that's exactly why I should not be whining about this," Luke decided. "I should be cheering you up or something. Ignoring the problem by focusing intensely on something else, like your issues with Nathan."

"Actually," she grinned, more than a little thrilled to have something positive to report on the Nathan front. "He asked to study with me. Even talk, maybe. Racy, right?"

"Don't mention racy in conjunction with you and Nathan ever again, alright?" he groaned, ignoring her laughter. "Other than that, I'm glad for ya, Hales. I know you've been waiting for this. How he's resisted you so long I have no idea."

"Aw, Luke, sometimes you really know the right thing to say!" she laughed, grinning at him.

"Hey, that's what you get growing up with a single mother. I'm 'sensitive'."

"You sure are, Sting."

"Ouch, low blow," he groaned. "That was a crotch blow if ever there was one. A comparison to that sappy, pretentious asshat?"

"Oh, Luke, I just call them like I see them," she teased, willing herself to relax into the banter they've got going. It was hard – all she can think of was what she's going to tell Karen, and then what she'd tell Luke and Nathan. She didn't want them to know the truth, not until they had to. Of course, with her luck and the help of Dan, she was sure they'd find out way sooner than she'd like. She didn't doubt that he'd tell them as soon as possible. Probably thought it'd drive the final wedge between her and Nathan – he just didn't get it, just didn't get that it didn't work like that.

"Oh, Haley," he mimicked. "You're just killing me here with the funnies. What's up with that, anyway? Is the joke cracking thing some type of over-compensation? Nathan has a fetish for funny girls?"

"Ew, see you and me? Should never speak of fetishes – of any sort – again. It's just not a conversation that could possibly end well," she smirked as he stuck his tongue out at her. "Very mature, Mr. Scott."

"Yeah, this from the girl who ratted me out on my fake ID to my mom so that she'd make me stay home under her watch for the night," he mock pouted. "I'm still mad at you for that, by the way."

"Well, in my defense, I only did it so that you and Brooke couldn't be at the apartment for your 'date' that night. I had a big Spanish test the next day, and I'm still trying to catch up from missing most of last semester!" she protested. "So it was with really good reason."

"You don't like having us there?" he pouted.

"It isn't that," she sighed, rolling her eyes. "It's that you're either fighting or making out. No in between, you know? And you're really loud at both, and there are some things I don't need the details on, okay?"

He parked the truck, and she hopped out, leaving him to follow behind her. "Hey, we aren't really that loud when we're making out, are we?" She turned around, fixing a stare on him. "Okay, guess we are that loud."

"Hi Karen!" Haley called as they entered through the kitchen door. "We're here!"

"Hi you two," the woman in question grinned as she came bustling back to greet them. "How was school today?"

"It was fine, Mom," Luke smiled indulgently as she dragged him down to kiss his cheek.

"It was fab, Karen," Haley said a little more enthusiastically. "First my AP US History class got assigned a period long presentation to be given next April and May. Everyone in class has to give their own. At least we get to choose the subject, but an hour in front of the class? Give me a break."

"Remind me why I didn't choose to take that class," Luke snickered rhetorically.

"I think it sounds like fun," Karen interjected. "That's about 350 years to choose a topic from, so there should be something that interests you."

"Mm, yeah, of course," Haley agreed, tying on her apron. "Maybe something pop-cult. The counterculture of the sixties or something. That would be easy."

Luke rolled his eyes, but Karen smiled. "You'll think of something brilliant, I'm sure."

"Thanks, Karen," Haley beamed. "I appreciate your support!"

Karen and Luke watched her as she left. "How's she doing?" Karen asked conspiratorially.

"She's okay, I think, Mom," he assured her. "Nathan's been a little kinder to her the last couple of days, which I think has really helped her gain a little confidence back."

"She was never lacking in confidence," Karen told him. "She just needs to know that he has some of that confidence in her – in them – too. She does seem better on one hand, as if a weight has been lifted off her shoulders, but on the other, she's nervous and jumpy."

Luke nodded, glad his mom noticed, too. "She won't tell me what's wrong, but she avoided me at school today."

"Well, she always tells us when she's ready," Karen assured him, patting him on the shoulder. "Let's not worry about it, okay?"

"Yeah, okay," he agreed, following her out to the dining area. "I'm going to sit in the corner and study. You staying here for dinner?"

"Of course I am, I was planning to go over the books this evening," Karen smiled fondly at him. "I should be the one asking you that. Is Brooke stopping by?"

"Not tonight." As Haley walked by, he stopped her. "Hey, you want to send a cup of soup and some coffee my way when you get the chance?"

She glared at him, and he knew she was going to refuse to give him anything with caffeine again. They've gone round and round on this with him assuring her that it was fine for him to have caffeine and her insisting it wasn't. Unfortunately, that meant when Haley was waiting tables, he didn't get any.

"Soup, salad, and decaffeinated tea coming right up," she smiled at him, winking when he glared.

Her hands shook slightly all evening, and the gnawing pit of tension in her stomach seemed to increase exponentially as closing time draws near. To make matters worse, Deb had shown up spouting some crap about how hard it was to live with Dan again, and trying to entice Karen into playing some fairly childish practical jokes on him. So childish, in fact, that Haley was sure she and Lucas were never so young they did things like she's suggesting.

And now she was going to have to tell Deb when she told Karen. At least Luke went home. But Deb was still there, and oh Lord, it wasn't going to be easy. Or pretty. Damn it, she wished she had another way, or that she didn't have to do this. That's what she got for working for someone she really, genuinely cared about. Can't just up and quit without reason.

When the last of the customers were gone, Haley locked the door and went about wiping up the tables, smiling at Karen when she started setting the chairs on the table for the sweeping and mopping. Deb was cleaning things up behind the counter, and between the three of them, it didn't take too long to get everything done.

"Um, can I talk to you guys about something?" Haley asked them nervously, all earlier bravado out the window completely.

"Of course," Karen said, concern immediate and overwhelming for the girl so like her daughter. "You aren't pregnant, are you?"

Deb gasped in horror at the possibility, and Haley just rolled her eyes. "Please, I hear there are activities you have to engage in for that to be a possibility, and oh my God I did not just say that in front of my husband's mother," she groaned, her cheeks flushing.

Karen chuckled while Deb tried to not look as repulsed as the idea obviously made her feel. "I have to admit, being a grandmother now isn't that high on my list," she joked shakily. "It's about on par with root canals. But it is higher than anything having to do with Dan."

Haley smiled at that, sort of understanding the sentiment even better than she did a week ago. "No pregnancy, I promise," she smiled, holding her shaky hands up.

"That's good," Karen smiled back at her. "So what is going on, kiddo? It sounded like school was going fine, and Luke said that you and Nathan had a nice chat today."

"Oh, you aren't sick, are you?" Deb blurted out, and Haley and Karen were both surprised at how concerned she seemed considering how she felt about Haley.

"No, I'm not. I guess maybe I should just say it," Haley sighed, looking at the ground. "Um, see the thing is, I have to quit this job effective tonight so I can start a new job tomorrow. Okay, no objections? Great, I'll be sure to come in as a paying customer all the time. See, it's a good trade-off!"

Deb looked confused as to what exactly she was supposed to take away from that convoluted mess of a statement, and Karen looked something closer akin to horrified. "Quit? Haley, why would you quit? You've been here two years; you aren't sick of us are you?"

"Oh, no, not at all," Haley rushed to clarify. "It's just – expenses are tight right now even living with Brooke, and I need to start saving for college, too. And oh, I feel so horrible about this, but I got offered a job that will double what I'm making here. If there was another way, I'd find it. This is just the only choice for me for right now."

Karen sighed, biting her lip as she watched the girl struggle to keep her composure. "It's okay, Haley," she soothed. "Oh, honey, you don't have to feel bad about finding a job that will pay better than we can."

"Maybe we could give you a raise," Deb offered. "It wouldn't be double of course, but maybe we could work out something."

Haley shook her head, grateful when Karen's arms come around her. "There's just no way; I'm so sorry. I wish there was, really. Working here has been a staple in my life, one of the few constants, and I hate that I have to quit. I really do."

"I know," Karen whispered into her hair. "Haley, it'll be okay. If you need help with anything, you just tell me and I'll get it to you."

Haley grimaced, wondering if the other woman could tell there was more to the story that Haley didn't want to talk about. Probably, as Karen knew her as well as anyone did, and she was definitely aware of how much Haley had always loved working at the café.

"No, I can – I can do this, Karen. It just means that I can't work here anymore," she sighed, feeling tears spring to her eyes. "I'm so sorry."

"You don't have to be sorry," Karen promised her as Deb made her excuses and then left. Haley glared at her back, knowing she was probably off to tell Nathan about the new development.

"I am, though. I could work here forever; and leaving you in the lurch, gosh, I'm sorry, Karen. It shouldn't have been like this."

"Stop, don't worry about it. It's hard to be on your own and trying to figure out how to make ends meet," Karen sympathized. "You have to do what is best for you."

"I really wish what that was working here," Haley offered, sighing deeply. "Oh, Karen, I can't even imagine not working here."

"If it is that important to you, stay with me."

Haley shook her head in denial, running her hands through her hair. "No, I can't. It's double the pay, Karen. I wish that didn't matter, but right now, for me it does."

"Honey, I meant that you're welcome to move in with Lucas and me. You're family already, Haley, and you are more than welcome to stay with us for as long as you'd like. That way you could save your money for college."

Haley threw her arms around Karen in a spontaneous hug, trying not to let herself start bawling. "Oh, Karen, that's the nicest thing anyone has ever offered me!"

"Then you can move in with us soon?" Karen asked hopefully, hugging the young girl tight.

"I can't. It's just really nice, though."

"Where are you going to be working?" Karen asked the money question finally.

Haley cringed because, despite all the time she had spent obsessing on how things would go here, she still had no clue how to answer that question.

"If I tell you the truth, will you not tell Luke or Deb? I – I need to tell him and Nathan this in my own way, and I don't know what that way is going to be yet," she sighed, knowing she couldn't possibly lie to Karen. Not again. Covering for Lucas was one thing, but this was just about a job. Sort of.

A look of horror crossed Karen's face as possible places of employment for a beautiful seventeen year old cross through her mind. "Oh, dear God, Haley, where are you working?"

"Where do you think I'm working?" Haley asked, not willing to pass up on a little fun; clearly Karen had a twisted sense of what Haley would do for money if the expression on her face was any indication.

"Well, gosh, Haley, I don't know! But there are some terrifying possibilities floating through my head, especially since this place will be doubling what we can pay you!" Karen burst, shuddering at the thought of Haley, her little Haley, swinging around on some pole while creepy old men ogled her with their hands down their pants from the audience.

"Well," Haley sighed, losing the moment of amusement, "This is probably worse than anything you're imagining. Luke and Nathan are going to think so."

"Where?"

"The dealership," she whispered, her head dropping to hang down so she didn't have to see Karen's reaction. "Dan's dealership."

"Oh, God," Karen gasped, shaking her head. "Honey, why? What is he doing to make you work there? I know you, and I know Dan, and this is not something you'd do of your own free will. And damn him, this isn't something he'd do without some selfish, probably horrible reason."

"I'm doing it of my own free will, I promise," Haley tried to assure her. Truth was, she felt too bogged down by all this to be very effective in comforting Karen now, but she was trying. "I think he wants me there to monopolize my free time and keep me away from Nathan," she sighed. "He knows that Nathan could come here to see me, but that he wouldn't get within a hundred yards of the dealership."

"Say no to him, turn down the job offer," Karen suggested, growing more and more angry at Dan for preying on Haley when he had to know she'd be needing money. "You can come live with me and Lucas, honey. You do not have to go to work for Dan."

Haley shook her head, trying to strengthen her resolve. "I do, Karen. It's – it's complicated. There are so many reasons why taking this job that he's offering is what I need to do."

"What if he makes you so miserable that none of the other things even matter? That's not going to do you any good, Haley."

"I'm willing to take that chance. It's college, Karen! You know how important college has always been to me. And now that my parents are retired and traveling and I've taken on this whole adult thing, I think I'm on my own. And this is going to be huge for me in saving money," Haley argued, trying to give Karen reasons to think that it wasn't the end of the world.

"Twice as much?" Karen sighed. "Oh, kiddo, you're going to be making more than me." She sighed again, smoothing a hand over the girl's hair. "If it could be any other way, I'd help you in a heartbeat to spare you from him."

Haley nodded jerkily, still struggling with her composure. "I know, Karen. And that means a lot to me. And thank you for not pushing this anymore."

"You're going to come visit me, right?" Karen asked, forcing a smile for Haley's sake. "If you aren't coming here at least occasionally for your coffee fix, I'll have to hunt you down over there. And I think you can guess how uncomfortable that would be for everyone."

"I can handle Dan," Haley stated flatly. "It isn't him I'm worried about having trouble with, it's Nathan mostly, and Luke to an extent. I don't think either of them will understand this very well." Shaking her head, she sighed. "And after the scene in the gym yesterday, now is really not the best time to tell them."

"What happened in the gym?" Karen asked, her hands clenched into fists at her sides. She swore, if Dan did anything to hurt any of those kids again, she's going to string that man up. She can't believe he has gone and dragged Haley into this now. Enough is enough.

"Dan happened," Haley laughed mirthlessly. "He showed up to talk to me while I was waiting for Luke to give me a ride home."

"And Luke and Nathan saw him there and gave into the tempers that they got from him," Karen finished with a sigh.

"Exactly," Haley smiled wryly. "God, this is going to be a nightmare, Karen. Not only am I not working here, but I'll be working for Dan. I'll have to do what he tells me!"

"That is definitely a horrid dream you'd want to wake up from," Karen shuddered. "Haley, have you talked with Jimmy and Lydia? Maybe they're more able to help you with college than you're expecting, honey. There has to be a way around this."

Haley shook her head before Karen could even get the entire suggestion out. "This – it's fine, I'll be fine. I'm better than sinking to his level, so I'll just go, answer the phones and do some filing and if I'm lucky, get my homework done. That's all, it'll be okay." They both knew she was saying it as much to reassure herself as she was Karen, but neither mentions it.

"Haley, you know better than that," Karen countered, needing the young girl so important to her to realize just how dire things with Dan might get. "Nothing is ever that simple with Dan, and you know it. Everything comes at a price. And I'm just scared for you because I can't figure out what price it is that Dan is going to try and make you pay yet."

Switching gears, Haley shifted the conversation away from speculation on what this will cost her. She was so not ready to think on that yet. Besides, she had questions that Karen might have insights on.

"Do you think he cares more for Nathan and Luke than he lets on?"

Karen blinked in surprise, actually leaning back against the counter. "I – well, yes, I guess I do think that."

"Sometimes when he's looking at one or both of them, you can see it," Haley noted. "It's so quick, like a flash of lightning that I'm never really sure if that's what I was actually seeing, though. But that must be it."

"It probably is," Karen agreed with a pained look. "He cares more than he's able to admit. It's sad, really. He has two wonderful young men for sons, and he's only able to make them miserable, making his own life miserable in the process."

"I'm surprised you don't treat him like a total big bad," Haley remarked. "If someone did to me the things that jerk has done to you, I'd be a lot harder on him."

"We were all very young," Karen noted, "And I certainly haven't forgiven him nor do I really understand the whys and the hows, but he was young. I don't judge him as much for the choice he made then as everything he's done to Luke since. That's the hard part; not that he didn't choose me and Luke in the first place, but all the times he went out of his way after that to drive home the point. Those are what I hate him for, that is why I resent him."

"I hate what he did to you," Haley said in a soft, but fierce tone. "I hate him for everything he has done, is doing, and will do to Nathan and Luke. It's like, even though I see that he loves them, the things he does are so low that I – I want to kick him."

"Have you ever kicked anyone in your life?" Karen asked with a laugh.

"Skillz once," Haley laughed. "He stole Luke's cookie! Someone had to defend Luke's honor, and as usual, I was the only one not laughing. That's what I got for hanging out with boys all the time, I guess. Taylor and Quinn, each on multiple occasions. In fairness, they usually kicked first."

Karen laughed with her before taking a deep breath and grabbing Haley's hands. "If you don't want to work for Dan, I can tell him for you. Honey, think really carefully about this; who knows what he's angling for by having you work there?"

"I guess I'll find out," Haley smiled faintly. "Hey, I can pretend I'm Daphne from Scooby Doo trying to figure out the mystery of Dan. That could be fun, right?"

Karen laughed in spite of herself. "Don't joke, this is serious!"

"I have to joke!" Haley pointed out reasonably. "If I don't, then there is going to be serious trouble. Seriously, though, wouldn't I be a cute Daphne?"

"Oh, honey, you can be anything or anyone you want," Karen said in her 'mom' voice causing Haley to laugh. "Okay, now a few business questions. He hasn't tried to get you to give up cheer, has he? I know it isn't really your thing, but if you let him manipulate you into giving up some, I'll be very upset with you. And the second he makes demands about your relationship with Nathan, you quit. You hear me?"

"I hear you," Haley smiled, throwing her arms around Karen, "And thank you. For everything. For not hating me for this, for caring enough to worry, for trying to take care of me. I – I love you, Karen."

"Oh, honey, I love you, too. If he gives you any trouble, you tell me. I'm on your side, Haley. Nothing changes that."

"I'm on yours, too," Haley winked, squeezing her hand. "I had better get home now. I still have a little homework to do and some reading I want to get out of the way. I'll stop by to for breakfast soon, okay?"

"I'm holding you to that; I want regular reports from you, and not just on how things are at work. I want to know how school is, how things with Nathan are, everything, young lady."

"I will, I promise," Haley smiled, looking around. "I can't believe this was my last night here. It – I sort of thought I'd work here forever, you know what I mean?"

"I always knew that you wouldn't," Karen countered. "You're not a waitress kind of girl, Haley. You aren't a car dealership kind, either. These are just means to an end. Don't see them as more than that."

"Working for Dan might be a means to an end, but working for you has been so much more than that." Karen hugged her again, kissing her forehead. "I love spending time with you and Luke, and even Deb has grown on me again."

Karen laughed. "Honey, I hate to lower the mood again, but what would you like me to say to people who ask?"

Sighing, Haley cringed at the reminder that not everyone will take this as well as Karen had. In fact, as far as preparing her for what was to come, this had been a real bust. "The truth, I guess. As close to it as you can without revealing where I'll be working. No, that's not fair. Tell them to ask me; I don't want to put you in a weird position."

"If that's what you want," Karen sighed. "Here, I made a plate for Brooke earlier. I forgot to tell you she called begging you to bring her home some sustenance."

"Thank you, Karen," Haley smiled, ostensibly for the food, but the words are fraught with far deeper meaning that only the two of them understood.

"You are so very welcome, Haley. Don't forget, I'm always on your side."

Haley nodded, accepting the box with the food, and turning to walk out the front door. She watched as Karen locked it behind her, gasping when she realized she forgot something. Tapping on the door, she waited for Karen to let her in.

"I forgot to give you my key back," Haley noted, trying to fish for the chain in her purse.

"No, you keep the key. You are welcome here any time you need to be here, okay? The key is yours."

That pushed Haley over the edge, and she indulged herself in tears as she walked slowly down the street. Life was so complicated, mostly of her own making, and the regrets for what she was losing seem paltry in comparison to what she could've lost if she hadn't given in to Dan's demands. Choose your battles.

Standing here, especially at this late hour, was not high on her list of things to do before she died. But this was a visit that could not be avoided, she assured herself as she rang the doorbell. When she heard footsteps approaching, she squared her shoulders and stood up straight. There was something about letting this man see weakness, real or perceived, that really turned her the wrong way. So she went to pains to present a well put together front.

"This isn't a – what do the kids call it these days? Booty call! Yes, this isn't a booty call, is it?" Dan smirked at her, that same smug look he'd been perfecting since he was fifteen. When she was younger and didn't know better, because the look was never directed at her, she didn't think twice about it. Now, it was a look that still gives her nightmares on occasion. "It is a been there, done that situation, but I might be willing to give it another go."

"We need to talk," Karen announced, skipping the pleasantries. Not that there are many she could imagine exchanging with him.

"So talk," he smiled, motioning for her to come into the house. "Does this have something to do with my father of the year award? It's in the mail now, right? I was thinking of placing it over there on the mantle."

"Yes, that's exactly why I've come to see you. That and to seduce you," she spitted out. "It's nice to see you've moved out of reality and straight into deluded."

A bit of the smile faded off his face at that. "What are you doing here?"

"Haley. I'm here for Haley." She glared at him as smug satisfaction crept onto his face, and her palm itched to slap it right off. "You sadistic creep, I don't know what you said to make her agree to go to work for the devil himself, but just know that I'm watching you."

"I might like that," he smiled in return. "And hey, you might like what you see. You did once, Karen."

"That was before my doctor realized I needed glasses or contacts to see properly," she sneered. "This isn't a joke. Haley is like a daughter to me, and I've seen how you think you can treat my children. If you do anything to hurt her or her relationships with Nathan or Lucas, I will make you so sorry Dan, that you might actually learn what that word means."

"Your childish threats don't really worry me too much," he sighed, watching as she clenched and unclenched her hand. Wondering if this would be the time she gave in to the urge and slapped him. He didn't mean to taunt her, to provoke her, but it was the only way she'd ever show emotion in front of him now. And he needed that from her, he needed to know that he could get a reaction out of her still, even if it was the kind most men would cringe at.

"It isn't a threat, it isn't a promise. It's just a fact. You hurt her, and I will destroy you. In fact, you hurt any of those kids again, and you'll be seeing me," she warned him. "Don't forget that. You might be able to manipulate seventeen year old children, but I'm not playing into your hand, Dan."

Rolling his eyes, he turned away, walking into the house. Smiling when she followed him, he turned back to her. "It just wounds me that you just assume the worst of me, Karen," he sighed. "For all you know, this is Haley's arrangement, not mine."

"What would Haley want with you?" Karen scoffed. "Don't be ridiculous."

"Why are you here?" he asked, offended that he couldn't rub the truth of the matter in Karen's face, although he's doubtful that even he could be so cruel to rub their son's heart condition in her face. But it still bothered him that he didn't have the option.

"I think that has been made pretty plain, Dan," she growled. "I'm making you aware of what will happen if anything happens to Haley."

"Oh, I remember something about that," he nodded, "And what was that again? What would happen to me?"

Glaring at him, she shook her head, simply saying, "Bad things."

"Your friend and my wife might be interested that you're here now," he commented, hoping to provoke her again. Seeing the passion, even drawn by anger, rise in her eyes was magical to him, even now when the effect should've been dulled by time.

"It's safe to say she'll be as displeased with this as I am," Karen retorted. "She might not approve of Haley and Nathan's marriage, but she likes Haley and doesn't want to see her hurt. More importantly, Nathan is lucky enough to have one parent looking out for his best interests, and she'd be very upset to see you hurting him through Haley."

"How do you know this isn't about helping Nathan?" he bit out, pointing his finger in her face to punctuate the words. "How do you know what any of this is about?"

"I know that Haley is a good girl who would only go to work for you if you were holding something that really meant the world to her over her head," Karen snapped back, getting in his face. "That means Nathan or Lucas. And since you don't care enough about Lucas to have anything in that regard, obviously this is somehow about Nathan. Don't hurt her, don't hurt him, and don't hurt them."

"You don't know what I care about!" he yelled, stepping closer to her. God, he could feel her breath, coming in angry staccato puffs, on his face. "You don't know what my sons mean to me, you don't know what I'd do for either of them! You don't know anything, Karen."

She stared up at him, unwilling or unable to back down despite the intimidation tactics he's working. "If you hurt Haley, if you make her miserable, I'm coming after you, Dan. Mistreatment of seventeen year old girls probably doesn't do much to endear mayoral candidates to the general public, does it?" she noted, gesturing to the signs. Letting herself smirk at him knowingly, she added, "Good luck with that."

She turned on her heel and walked out of the house leaving him staring after her. She was fuming with anger and frustration and other emotions that she couldn't give name to, and it all just drove home why she hated being around him. He made her feel things, seeing him made her remember, and she hated it all. Hated that he still has some power, no matter how tiny, over her.

Damn him.

Damn herself.


	3. High on Life, Low on Love

**Chapter Three – ****High on Life, Low on Love**

She was not avoiding them today as she stood in front of her locker in the cheer outfit that Brooke mandated they all wear in support of tonight's game. She would so sell all of her siblings though for the chance to avoid them, avoid everything, but she knew better than that. Avoiding would only serve to call more questions into play about her change of employment status.

Brooke bugged her the whole way to school about the new job, but Haley wouldn't give up any information on it. She just shrugged and told her it wasn't a big deal and promised it wouldn't interfere with cheerleading in any way, shape, or form, which pretty much shut Brooke up.

Once they got to school, Brooke rushed off to find Luke and yell at him again, and for once Haley was grateful to have someone monopolize her best friend's time. Maybe that would be one confrontation she could put off until at least second or third period. Luck didn't hold up with Nathan, though, and he was jogging down the hall to catch her here before she even had a chance to react. Tim was in tow, and she really had to let herself hope that his presence would keep the heavy conversation to a minimum.

"Tim, scram," Nathan ordered when he realized he'd been followed. Sighing and pouting quite admirably, Tim did what he was ordered. "It's like I have a Snausage© in my back pocket or something."

Haley laughed at that, glancing nervously at him as she hung up her bag in the locker. "He does seem to think he needs to be right on your heels, doesn't he?" Haley commented lightly, bracing herself for the inevitable questions. "If you ever need a second for a duel, you've got your ma – uh, boy."

He chuckled lightly, but she could see that his mind was elsewhere. And she didn't need three guesses to figure out where, either. He didn't say anything about it, no questions, no comments, and it threw her for a loop.

"Well, um, I should get going," she said slowly. "Um, unless you wanted to talk or something."

"Why do you have this look on your face that says you'd rather get that bird flu than talk to me right now?"

She smiled genuinely at that, blushing a deep red. "Nathan, there aren't many things I'd rather have than you talking to me. You can mark that down as fact. It's just – there's this whole awkward thing with the job situation, and you know."

"Job situation?" he asked, raising an eyebrow at her. Oh, what a glorious way to start the day: a mouthful of foot. "What job situation? You aren't having trouble with my mom, are you? She said that everything has been really great."

"No, they have," Haley jumped in quickly. "She's been really nice to me again. It's been really nice. I should've told her that."

"Hey, you're shaking, are you sick?" He looked her over with concern, and she let herself laugh when he reached a hand out to check her forehead.

"I'm not sick, Nathan. I think this blue kind of emphasizes my pastiness thus creating the look of illness – flattering, right? – but I'm not sick."

"Then what's wrong?" he asked, placing his hands on her shoulders and turning her around to guide her into an empty classroom, shutting the door behind them. "What's the job situation, Hales?"

"I – I quit the café," she mumbled, moving to sit atop a desk in the front row. "There's – I found something that can pay better, and it's – I need that right now. It's not a big deal, I just really feel bad about the short notice."

"Okay," he drawled out slowly, staring at her as he tried to figure out why this was so upsetting to her. "They weren't mad, were they?"

She shook her head, embarrassed when a lone tear escaped and made it way down her cheek. "They were really nice about it. I just feel awful; I hate that I had to quit."

He sat down in the chair of the desk that she's perched on. "Did you talk to Karen first? Ask her about a raise."

Sighing, she turned so she could look down at him. "I wish it were that simple, Nathan. It just, it isn't, and I hate it, I hate that it's like this."

"Hey, shh," he murmured, pushing the chair back far enough that he can drag her down onto his lap. He was not sure what he was doing exactly, just knew that he needed to be here for her now, wanted her to know that he was. "It's okay, baby."

Even though 'okay' was the last thing any of this was, she let him hold her, too upset to really even revel in the feeling of being in his arms again. She knew she'd kick herself for that later, too.

"Thank you," she whispered when she gets herself a bit more under control. "I guess I needed for someone to do that for me today."

"Hales, I'm always here if you need me," he told her honestly. "I guess maybe it doesn't seem like it, but I am." He brushed an errant strand of hair off her face. "If you need anything, you should tell me. I can help you; I want to help you, Haley."

"It's not like I'm going to starve because I can't buy groceries," she smiled faintly. "Because if that were the case, yeah, I'd learn to ask for help. This is – I'm thinking of college right now, and no one else is doing that for me, so it's my responsibility to find a way to pay for it."

"And this new job is going to help with that?"

"Yeah, it will," she nodded, praying he doesn't ask what she'll be doing or where she'll be doing it. "I've messed up a lot of things that were fundamentally important to me. You know that better than anyone, right? Well, I don't want to mess up my dreams of going to college."

"You won't," he smiled, grimacing inwardly to himself. She was thinking college? And hadn't talked to him about where he was going, where he'd like to go, whether or not he even wanted her to consider those things when she's making her decision.

Drying her eyes, she stood up. "Everything is in limbo right now, and I hate it. Ugh, ignore me, I'm being a baby."

"Where are you going to college?" he asked abruptly, sounding almost accusatory. He cringed at that, but le it go, needing to know her answer.

"I haven't decided yet. Mrs. Pierce in the counseling center talked me into applying to a couple of Ivy League schools just for the heck of it, but other than that, I've been waiting to even think about it."

"Why?"

"Why?" she repeated, staring at him incredulously. "Um, maybe because my husband would barely say 'hi' to me for five months, let alone have a conversation about our future. I gather you don't want to hear this right now, but you factor pretty hugely in where I'll be going, Nathan! I'm not deciding anything until I know what's going to happen between us."

Something between the warmth of relief and the ice water of pure terror ran through his veins at her proclamation. He still had no promises to give her, but he knew that he didn't want her running off to a college that wasn't anywhere near him. There were some things he could handle, but that was not one of them.

"It's – I'm trying, Hales," he told her, standing up so she couldn't tower over him like she'd been doing. "I am trying."

"I know, Nathan. That wasn't a dig at you. Me not choosing a college until I know what you're doing and what you want is just a fact. Something that has to be."

The bell rang before he could respond, and they both groaned, looking at each other with small, shy smiles. They weren't in a place that either of them was really comfortable with, but it wasn't a bad place. Maybe it was even getting a little bit better all the time, too.

Sighing, he grabbed his bag and walked to the door. "I'll see you around, Hales."

"Wait, Nathan," she called, stopping him in the doorway. "Are we still on for studying on the bus tonight?"

"I'd like that," he smiled. "I'll see you then."

"Yeah, see you then," she echoed, letting a smile of her own grace her face. Not everything was coming up roses, but at least Nathan was finally talking to her again. And hadn't mentioned the much dreaded and reviled D-word again. Thank goodness for small wonders.

Another small wonder? Luke hadn't caught up with her yet. Maybe her Karma wasn't entirely wrecked after all.

When he couldn't find Haley before school, Lucas began to assume she was avoiding him again. But when he saw her in class and she flashed a dimmer than usual version of her smile at him – still her smile, though – he knew she wasn't avoiding him. Unfortunately, he'd had to go to a team meeting during third period, which he had with her and they usually got to talk in, so he still had no idea what was going on with her.

At lunch, she was sitting at a table with Nathan and Tim, and he'd love to know how that came about. Approaching her when Nathan was around pissed him off for several reasons, the two most prevalent being that he didn't want to mess things up for her and he didn't want to give Nathan more reasons to be angry with him.

He gave them most of the lunch period before he approached them anyway, consequences be damned. "Hales, can we talk? It's kind of important," he said, shifting uncomfortably as Nathan glared up at him.

Glancing at Nathan, Haley nodded, standing up. "You can walk me to the tutoring center. I have to grab something before next period." Smiling at Tim and mostly Nathan, she nodded. "Thanks for sitting with me. Another lunch with the cheerleaders, and my head would've exploded."

"Mine, too," Tim grinned cheerfully, earning three confused looks. "What? Seeing you with them, Haley, gives me some dirty thoughts."

Luke glared at him and Nathan actually slammed his fist onto Tim's shoulders. Haley just laughed, though, patting him on the head. "I'm sure the dirty thoughts aren't half as good as the real thing, though."

"Hales, please don't encourage him," Nathan sighed at her, and she patted him on the back with a grin before giving Luke a shove towards the doors.

"See you on the bus, Nathan. See you in your dreams, Tim," she laughed, waving at the two, trying to ignore the not-so-nice vibes rolling off of Luke right now. Bracing herself for his questions, when they were a little ways down the hall, she turned to him. "What's up, Luke?"

He gave her the 'what the fuck, are you kidding me' look, rolling his eyes. "Uh, you quit your job, get one somewhere else that pays twice what you're making at the café, and you wonder what's up? Don't mess around right now, Hales."

"Luke, come on, it's a job, it's not a big deal," she tried to downplay it. "I didn't do this to upset you or hurt you, and definitely not your mom. I just need the extra money."

That lie was starting to stretch thin, even for her. Sure, it wasn't actually a lie in the purest sense of the word, which is partially why she decided it was the best reason to give. She could use the extra money, both for day to day living expenses and also to save more for college. It still felt like a lie because it isn't the real reason and when she accepted, it wasn't even something she considered. Not really.

"Yeah, a job. A job doing what?"

"Just stuff," she sighed. "Secretarial stuff. You know, filing, phones, whatever."

"Stuff? You're telling me that you're doing stuff? You can't even tell me what you're doing, oh, my God, this is ridiculous!" he burst out.

"It's just a job," she countered through gritted teeth, irritated with the attention they were drawing. "Let's talk about this after school."

"Oh, but you have to go kiss Nathan's ass on the bus ride to the game," he sneered. "All of a sudden you can talk to him, but not me? It's – this – "

"What, Luke?" Haley asked, cringing at the way his face falls.

"I thought it was going to be different," he sighed. "I thought that maybe you'd have time for me again, you'd be my friend again. And you are, since you've been back, you've been great. A little bit of a nag sometimes, but overall, great. The writing's on the wall again, though."

"What does that mean?"

"You love Nathan, and he loves you. It's only a matter of time before it becomes like it was before you left, when it's just you and him."

"It wasn't like that!" Haley protested heatedly, vaguely recognizing the sound of the bell ringing. "It's never been like that. And it definitely isn't like that now – do you think I spend much of my time worrying about much other than you, if you're okay? Because if you do, you're crazy. And you don't know me at all."

She snapped that out, and the wind fell out of her sails. Suddenly the people around them became painfully clear – Nathan, with Tim next to him looking like he's expecting a fist fight, Brooke, looking confused and upset and mad. Shaking her head, she sighed, glaring at the rest of the gathered students.

"What? Haven't you ever seen a cheerleader yell before?" she snapped, rolling her eyes before pushing through the crowd past Nathan and heading towards her class. To her relief, no one ran after her. That was the last thing she needed right then, having to explain herself to Nathan or Brooke.

Lucas looked across the crowd, ignoring Brooke who was making her way past him, to find Nathan, motioning him over. "Did you do something to her?" he growled out, glaring at his younger brother.

"When would I have done something?" Nathan snapped back. "She was perfectly fine at lunch. Obviously whatever the problem is has to do with what a jerk you are."

"Oh, this is productive," Brooke bitched at them both. "Why don't we focus on the real problem here, and someone tell me why Haley's so worried for you, and why you don't know her, Lucas?"

"That's none of your damned business," he answered, ignoring her startled gasp and the subsequent look of fury that crosses her face. "It isn't any of your business."

"You being a jerk to her is my business," Nathan told him. "Maybe you're the one getting into things that you shouldn't be in."

"No, it isn't your business!" Luke exclaimed, staring at Nathan incredulously. "You've brushed her off a hundred times! You don't get to insinuate yourself into my relationship with my best friend."

"Oh, my God!" Brooke screeched, stomping her foot on the ground, reaching out to pinch Tim when she caught him look at her ass when the cheer skirt flips up. "You two are such assholes. Haley should do herself a favor and tell both of you to go to hell. I thought this stupid pissing match over her ended, like, a gazillion years ago. Do we have to retread ancient history?"

"Jealous no one is pissing over you?" Tim laughed.

"Shut up, Tim!" all three burst out. A teacher popped out of her classroom, clucking her tongue at the commotion, shuffling the students watching off to their classes. Ending the showdown, Brooke spun on her heel and headed towards her class, Tim shrugging and following behind her. Nathan and Luke stared at each other until Luke shook his head in disgust, heading down the same hallway that Haley had towards class.

"Fuck," Nathan muttered to himself, shaking his head as he headed toward the library. Nothing ever could just be simple around there.

Drumming his fingers on the dash as he drove along, he was about whiz past the stranded motorist, even after he saw who it was. Actually, when he saw who it was, he tapped his foot on the gas pedal, all ready to speed right on by her.

So why he found himself stopping, he didn't know.

"Can I help with that?" he asked gruffly, and he knew by the look on her face that she found his offer as foreign as he did. "I – uh, I do know something about cars, Karen."

"How to gouge people for the most money when selling them?" she retorted tartly. "Come on, Dan, you and I both know that the mechanic aptitude abilities all went to Keith. So if you stopped to taunt me, go ahead and commence so we can get this over with."

"I – actually, was going to offer you a ride the rest of the way to the game, unless this is a simple out of gas scenario. And if that's what it is, I'll take you to the service station. There's one a couple of miles up the road," he told her, not sure where the offer to help was coming from. Certainly not him.

"Is this where you kill me and dump my body in some remote part of the woods?" she asked warily, arching a brow at him.

"You've figured out my evil masterplan," he deadpanned, and she actually has to fight a – a smile. Brought on by Dan. Dan Scott. Oh, what is the world coming to?

"You'd really give me a ride?" she asked, completely dubious. What other choice did she have? She'd been out here for over a half hour, and he was the first person to stop. Of course, tonight was the night she forgot to charge the battery in her phone, so she was SOL there, too.

"Only if we agree not to talk about anyone under the age of 18," he bargained, for some reason feeling a need to keep the drive peaceful. Leaving out mentions or raging tempers about Lucas, Nathan, and now Haley seems like the way to go to achieve that.

"Well, I suppose I can manage that. It's not much farther, right?"

"Haven't even got in the car yet and already trying to get away from me? I'd be hurt if I'd expected anything more from you," he sighed, gesturing for her to get in. "Don't worry, you don't have to sit near me at the game."

"Thanks for your permission to enact my right to freedom of seating," she sighed, buckling her seatbelt and turning her head to stare out the window. There was nothing out there to see. To top it off, the sky was the inky black of night, but looking out the window seemed the pragmatic choice. Easier to focus on what was going on outside the car than inside of it.

"Oh, I do what I can," he smirked, starting the car and driving them off into the night.

She was sure that he did.

Looking at Nathan as he tapped his pencil in triumph of mastering the math they were working, Haley had to shake her head and laughed. "Sometimes I swear you are a secret math star and you just pretend not to know."

"Now why would I do that?" he smirked. "It's not to get in your pants, because hey, been there and done that, right?"

"Hey!" she exclaimed, looking offended even as she laughed along with him, "And I don't know why. It just seems like you know more than you let on sometimes, that's all." Smiling at him wryly, she shrugged. "Then again, maybe we all do, right?"

"Right," he nodded. "So, you going to tell me about the thing in the hall with Luke or am I going to have to tickle it out of you?"

"No!" she protested. "I am not ticklish, so that wouldn't even work!"

"You are so delusional," Nathan laughed, smirking at Luke when he turned in his seat to see what had them laughing. He was pretty sure the dust up between the two had something to do with Haley's quitting the café, but sticking it to Luke seemed like a good idea somehow.

"Come on, you have math to do," she whined, trying to reopen the book he'd slammed shut. "And I should start working on this essay for Civ."

"Or you could tell me why Luke's so mad at you," he tried again, smiling his most charming smile. She was a little pissed at herself that it made her feel so melty, but hey, it was one sexy, charming smile. Resistance was pretty much futile.

"Actually, I'd rather that you astound me with your mad trig skills, Nathan," she teased, shoving the book to him.

"Are you flirting with me?" he grinned, batting his eyes at her. "Or are you just trying to avoid my questions?"

"No! Nathan, I'm serious, this is supposed to be a study session, right? So we should, yeah, you know, study." She threw a smile his way, laying her hand on his arm. "There's no need to talk about stupid things like that, right?"

"Stupid?" he repeated disbelievingly. "Now there are a lot of things I'm sure you think whatever this thing is are, but stupid isn't one of them. We both know that. Tell me what's going on, Hales."

She hated that he was pressing her like this, and she hated even more that he was using her desire to be with him, to have him treat her like he did before she left Tree Hill against her. That hurt, but at the same time, felt deliriously good.

She hated that she couldn't tell him the truth about any of this. It was like realization dawned, and the full magnitude of what this plan, this annoying alliance was going to do to her life. How it would cause the most important people in her life to look at her in doubt when they suspected her of lying. Which she would inevitably be guilty of.

"It was just a fight," she said with a deep sigh. "He's mad that I quit the café. I was kind of expecting it, to tell the truth. I – I guess he'll get over it soon enough."

Seeing the drawn look on her face, he immediately set himself out to reassure her. "Of course he will, no one would think otherwise. We all know better."

"Well, I'm thinking otherwise," she admitted, and his gut clenched at the worry and pain evident to him in her eyes. It struck him that he was not sure if it was because he hated to see her hurt or if it was because he hated her hurting over Lucas. That damned Green-Eyed Monster, always rearing his ugly head.

"Stop thinking it," he commanded her with a reassuring smile. "Listen, you and Luke are a constant. No matter what, you two will work things through always."

Yeah, definitely jealousy. Just saying that out loud to her made his blood boil like crazy. The 'they're just friends' mantra didn't even seem to be helping.

"You ever going to tell me where you're working or what you'll be doing at this new job of yours?" he asked, abruptly changing the subject.

Attempting a coquettish smile, she shrugged. "You probably wouldn't believe me if I told you, Nathan Scott."

"Uh, what does that mean?" he asked as a million thoughts raced through his head. "This isn't illegal, is it?"

It should be, she couldn't help but think. Really, working for Dan Scott was at best a crime against nature. Indulging him in any way was a total disservice to all of humanity.

"Yeah, you got me," she laughed nervously. "I've finally gone into the 'family' business. I've become a borg-like enforcer to the local grease ball mob boss. How ever did you figure it out?"

"Well, at first I just thought you were happy to see me, but now I'm think that might've been a gun in your pocket," he joked back at her.

"Isn't something along that train of thought my line?" she interrupted, amused.

"Maybe, but I'm not the one working for a mob boss," he smiled, looking down at her and watching her carefully.

"Yeah, that's me, little mob princess," she laughed, rolling her eyes dramatically. "Don't I just look the part?"

"You're too sweet looking for that, Hales," he smiled at her, the hint of shyness immensely endearing to her.

"Oh, please," she snorted. "Sweet? That's crazy."

"You are sweet," he insisted. "It's nice, you know?"

"No, I really don't." She rolled her eyes, turning to face forward. "Do you ever feel like something that everyone thinks you are, that they seem to think is a good thing, is really a bad thing?"

"You think sweet is a bad thing?" he asked, raising his eyebrows in surprise. "I don't mean it as a bad thing."

"I know you didn't," she agreed, throwing him a smile. "It's just – people think I'm this sweet, demure girl that doesn't have any sharp edges, that doesn't make mistakes. And you know where that leads me?"

"Where?"

"It leads me to disappointing them. Because people think that I'll never cause conflict, that I'd never do anything rash or stupid, and when I do, I've hurt everyone. Not just myself, but everyone."

He rolled his eyes, shaking his head. "Is that your way of excusing yourself for taking off with Chris? Because that doesn't really make it okay, Haley!"

She blinked, trying to comprehend his words. "Oh, my God, I didn't even mean that! Fuck," she cursed, almost letting her guard down to giggle when he gaped in surprise at the choice of words. "I wasn't even thinking of that when I – oh, never mind."

She grabbed her bag and clutched her books to her chest, getting up to change seats. He grabbed her by the wrist, pulling her back down to her spot next to him. "What the hell are you talking about then? And why are you acting like you have the right to storm off?"

"Why don't I?" she muttered quietly, not wanting to attract attention to them. "I have done nothing but bend over and take it from you since I've been back. And you know what? I'd do it all over again, a thousand times. And I'll keep doing it now because I'll do anything for you. That just doesn't mean it hurts any less, or that it is any less frustrating."

"Hales," he sighed, feeling guilty. She was right; like he'd joked a few days ago, she'd given him a free pass to treat her like she was dirt on his shoe, and he had. The thing was, he stopped being mad, for the most part, awhile ago, but he still couldn't let it go. He couldn't bring himself to let her back in fully.

"Don't, it – it – I'm sorry," she sighed, leaning her head back and closing her eyes. "I just thought – yeah, I don't know what I thought. I wasn't talking about that mistake, though. I know that sharp edges don't excuse that, that nothing excuses what I did."

"Okay," he nodded, relaxing beside her when he trusted that her urge to get away from him has passed. "Then what the hell is it about?"

"Me, it's about me," she shrugged, her gaze flitting passed him to look out the window. "I don't want to be only shy, quiet Haley. Nathan's wife, Haley. Lucas's friend, Brooke's roommate. The 'sweet' girl that is just there. There's more to me, you know? But those are always the only things that people see. And that's hard; harder than maybe you realize."

Holy fuck. He stared at her in open-mouthed amazement, clueless as to where this was coming from. Had she felt this for a long time? Since before she left on the tour? Was this why she left him, because she didn't know that she did have her own identity, that people didn't see her as just those things?

"Anyway, I'm probably being ridiculous again," she smiled wryly. "It's not like being any of those things is bad. Well, except maybe Brooke's roommate, but that's only because it doesn't have to be that way. It could've been better, it could've still been me and you."

"Oh, Hales," he sighed, feeling like his heart was shattering all over again.

"Hush," she admonished him gently. "Let me have my regrets. They don't exactly keep me warm at night, but it's something to hold onto."

"Please," he groaned, "Don't joke like that."

"I could joke about Brooke keeping me warm at night, if you'd like," she smirked. "Fuel your girl-on-girl fantasies or something."

"Brooke is never in my girl-on-girl fantasies," he laughed, choking when he realized what he let slip. There was no way she would let that go, no way. He knew her too well.

There's a twinkle in her eye as she stared at him, and while he was glad to have put it there, he really hated how he managed it. Foot, meet mouth. Great.

"Uh huh," she nodded. "You know what? I don't want to know."

"You don't?" he cringed.

"Nope, I really, really don't. No matter what you would say, I wouldn't want to know," she laughed, smiling at him. "I'm sorry I got all huffy there for a few minutes."

"You're allowed," he shrugged. "It's not like I don't have my moments. You know that better than anyone else does, too."

"Your moments are justified, Nathan," she reasoned. "I don't – there's no way I can justify getting pissy with you."

Shaking his head, he cringed at what he was going to do. Cringed to give up some of the power that had defined the dynamics of their relationship over the last few months.

"You're saying I can do or say anything I want pretty much, and you'd let it slide on the account of being 'justified'?" he asked.

She nodded distractedly, drumming her fingers on the book she was holding. "I – I deserve a lot from you. And I can take it, you know? I want to, I want to pay for what I've done and be held accountable and do whatever it takes to make things right."

"This is probably not the best place for this conversation, I guess," he sighed, catching the way she'd look around nervously before she said anything, "Want to get together tomorrow? I think that we have a lot to talk about. We should've talked before now, I shouldn't have been so standoffish."

"You had reasons," she excused him. "Good ones. Valid ones. I didn't expect more; hoped, yeah, but I didn't expect it."

"You must've, on some level," he countered. "It's not – that's understandable."

"This is all about me accepting responsibility for my actions. And in doing that, I'm realizing that there is no excusing them, either." She smirked at him. "Do the crime, do the time."

"It wasn't a crime."

"Metaphor," she retorted, "And wasn't it, though? What I did upset and enraged the person I loved most in the world, I was locked out of his heart, I've been found guilty by the jury of my peers, and now I'm stuck in prison with Brooke Davis as my jailor."

"Loved?" he choked out, not hearing anything past her use of past tense there. "Loved as in used to?"

She looked confused, trying to figure out what he meant when it dawned. "It'll never be a 'used to' thing; I'll always love you."

He relaxed a little, letting his gaze drift around the bus as he took a minute to calm back down. "You – you said, and I thought, and – "

"I know," she nodded. "Don't worry, you've got the cake, and you can still eat it, too." At his blank look, she clarified, "I mean I'll probably always be pining over you, even if you don't want me anymore. Can't help it."

As he opened his mouth to respond, the bus squeaked to a halt at their opponent's school.

"Guess we'll talk about this later," she smiled sadly as Brooke began giving orders to the cheerleaders despite heckling from the guys on the team and Whitey's put-out eye rolls.

As everyone else was filing off the bus, he stilled her with a touch on her back. She looked up at him questioningly, and when he just stared back, she waited.

"We will talk later. Tomorrow, not on a goddamn bus, not when there are twenty people we go to school with less than ten inches away, and not when we have limited time."

"I have to work tomorrow," she groaned. "I wish I could, Nathan, but it'll be my first day."

"I'll pick you up afterwards," he suggested, suddenly convinced that he wanted to do this, that he was ready to start trying again. "Just tell me when and where, and I'll be there, Hales. This is important to me, to us."

Once again, she was mentally cursing Dan for being a selfish, vindictive, crap fathering, jerky, hateful bastard that would tangle her into a web like this. She didn't doubt that he had hoped things would go like this, but even he couldn't have predicted how quickly it would start causing problems.

"I'm working until 8 or 9," she sighed. "Worse, I've got so much homework to do this weekend, and since I'm working a long day on Sunday, I should just go back to the apartment and do it."

"You'd rather do homework than do something with me?" he asked, clutching a hand to his chest. "Jesus, Hales, that hurts."

She laughed at the dramatics, fighting the urge to pull him down for a kiss. "Well, what did you have in mind?"

"Maybe – maybe we should try another date?" Oh, God, he was trying to drive her insane. The second she became less available, he's ready to come out of his shell and start asking her for things. How had she not known that ploy really worked?

"Could it be something low-key?" she asked, quietly, unable to say no. She was not that foolish. "No parties."

"No parties," he agreed. "How about food and a movie?"

"At Brooke's apartment?"

"Why do you keep calling it that?" he asked curiously. "Every time you mention it, it's either the apartment or Brooke's apartment."

"Well, have you seen it? It's…purple. And it really is her place, you know? It isn't the same as when we – well, it's not the same, and it is just easier to think of it that way."

"I'm sorry," he muttered, feeling like a jerk. He knew that living there without him had to be at least somewhat hard on her – hell, it was hard on him and he didn't have to see it every day and remember – but to hear her say it really made him feel badly.

"It's fine," she laughed wryly, taking him aback again with her self-deprecating attitude. "Don't worry about it. Maybe I'll be able to afford a small place of my own soon anyway. Perk of the new job."

"Speaking of, want me to pick you up and get you home tomorrow night?"

"Nah, you can just meet me there," she smiled. "Brooke is never there on the weekend, but I'll double check with her. With my luck, this'll be the exception to her weekend party habits."

"Oh, she'll be out," Nathan assured her. "Tim's brother has moved into a house with about six guys that graduated last year, and they're having some giant blow-out. She never misses things like that."

"Especially if she and Luke are still being stupid," Haley sighed, pushing it from her mind. Honestly, what should she care if those two wanted to play games? Wasn't she playing the biggest and most dangerous game of them all?

"That's good," he grinned, and she looked at him in confusion. "It'll be just us there, we won't have to worry about an annoying and snappy Brooke interruption."

"Oh," she laughed, "That's a bonus. Speaking of, I'd better go before she comes back on here and drags me out by my hair. Good luck tonight, Nathan. I know you'll be great."

"You will, too," he assured her with a wink, letting her go.

Maybe after tomorrow, things would be looking way up for him. It was a nice thought to hold onto, at least.

Maybe if she tried hard enough, she'd suddenly be invisible. A long shot, but it was the best Karen had to hope for right now. If she didn't suddenly become invisible, people – including her son – might see her walk in with Dan. She didn't care what these people thought of her, but she knew what the vicious gossip could do to people, had seen what it had done to Lucas in the past. She didn't want that again.

"I'm going to take in some air," she told him stiffly, sitting down on the edge of a planter before he could say anything.

"Scared to walk in with me?" he asked with a knowing smirk, quickly catching onto the exact cause behind her reticence.

"I'm not scared of anything that has anything to do with you," she retorted, the lie obvious and painful to them both. "However, I won't do anything to hurt my son."

She stood up, walking down the breezeway away from him. She didn't hear his whisper as she went. "He's my son, too."

He watched as she walked off, trying to think of something to say that wouldn't do irreparable damage to either of their egos, but he came up with nothing. There was nothing he could say to her, and maybe there was nothing to say in general.

It was funny; in the car, when he asked questions about Lucas, she answered. It was as if they were in a whole other world there, just the two of them. A world where it was safe to talk, safe to ask questions and to give answers. Inside his car, they had that safety.

Things weren't comfortable, not for either of them. To be fair, there was really no way they could, though. Too much water under the bridge, too many matters never discussed, too many questions left unanswered.

But...he wished things were different. Wished that he didn't have to admit to himself that he was the one who made them this way. He hated it, hated admitting his errors, even if only to himself.

Saying the words to Karen or Lucas would go a very long way, he knew that. Both of them - they placed a strangely foreign value in admitting mistakes and honesty. He hadn't been sure what to make of it when he was dating Karen in high school, even though he was decidedly different than he is now, and he didn't know what to make of it in either of them now. It disarmed him, made him question things, question himself. That wasn't fair.

The thought was so sudden and powerful that it felt like a blow to the gut: he had to sign Deb's divorce papers. Holding on to torture her wasn't doing either of them any good, and it was probably only making Nathan miserable. Plus, it was just another black mark against him in Karen's eyes, and damn it, why did he care what she thought?

Why did he suddenly want her to see him as single?

He didn't go in the building; he waited for her. He shouldn't, he was pretty sure he didn't want to, but he did. Maybe it was to annoy her, maybe it was to see the look on both of his sons' faces when they walked in together. Maybe it was to knock his younger son's high and mighty wife – man, that word hurt to even think – down a few, or twenty, pegs.

Just seeing the looks on those kids' faces would be priceless. God, this was like his own private Mastercard commercial:

Cost of gas to drive to game: $30.00.

Cost of a program and snacks at the game: $10.00.

Seeing the look on the kids' faces when he walks in with Karen: Priceless.

Of course, Karen would never go for it. He was many things, but stupid wasn't one of them. Taking off for 'air' was a pretty clear indication of that, not to mention her high horse spewing of how she loved her son too much to do that to him. What would it do? The kid can't see his mom walking next to him now?

He supposed that maybe he should wait to push Luke's buttons until after Haley had given him the money for medicine and a doctor's visit. No sense in driving him to a cardiac event; the world would find a way to blame it on him.

At her deep sigh of annoyance, he looked up to find Karen again standing in front of him. The angry spots of color on her cheeks caught his eye, and he had to shove his hands in his pocket to keep himself from reaching out to touch them. To see if they burn.

"Why are you still out here, Dan?" she snapped as she eyes him warily, unbalanced as always around him.

"Getting some air," he threw at her mockingly, completely unable to stop himself. "Is that a crime now, Karen?"

"Almost everything that you do is a crime, Dan," she assured him. "Why would this be any different, right?"

"Ah, so you can do it, but I can't?" he retorted.

"Never said I was perfect, Dan," she said, trying to step around him. He wouldn't let her, and she glared up at him as she tried again. "I think you know that better than most people, right?"

"No, you just pretend at it with the rest of the world," he snitted. "Don't worry, Karen. I remember, I know who you really are."

Shaking her head, she shoved him out of her way. "You don't, though. You don't know anything about me anymore, Dan."

He let her go, for which she was grateful. The proximity she kept winding up in to him was strange and unsettling. It reminded her of easier times, when she was innocent and naïve and only had herself to worry about. It wasn't like that anymore, and she resented that he had the power to make her feel anything other than anger or hate.

The anger was still there, but she wasn't so sure about the hate.

Where did the hate go?

"Go Luke!" Haley screamed from the sidelines, sharing an excited look with one of the girls as the Ravens pulled further ahead, closer to victory. She still had little interest in basketball as a sport, but supporting Lucas was always a good thing, and she also had a definite interest in seeing Nathan in the uniform. That counted, she was sure of it.

As the game wound down, Haley began to relax a little more. If possible, she'd grab a seat of her own on the bus and just try and finish up her homework and then relax the rest of the way home. Things with Nathan were looking up finally, but the guilt of lying to him was hanging over her head and preventing her from enjoying it fully. She wanted so badly to tell him the truth and swear him to secrecy, but she just couldn't bring herself to betray her promise to Luke like that. No matter how bad she wanted to and how positive she was that Karen and Nathan deserve to know the truth.

She was pretty sure that she wouldn't manage to have the ride to herself, though. Dan and Karen walked in together, and even now were only sitting a few seats apart. She'd kept her eye on them, and they didn't seem to be interacting at all, but Haley's no fool – just walking in within two minutes of each other was enough to set Luke off. Walking in at the same time would get Nathan. And sitting by each other got her.

She didn't want to know anything about it. They'd all be better off just letting it lay, in her opinion. But neither Nathan nor Luke were capable of that, and they'd both be all over her looking for her reasoning and explanations for the new occurrence.

And what could she say? 'Oh, well, there's this whole unholy alliance between me and Dan, and now it looks like Karen has been dragged into things somehow. Go figure.' She was screwed. They were all screwed, even Dan, and surprisingly that didn't give her as much of a thrill as it should. Damn it, why couldn't life be black and white, nothing in between. Things would be so easy if Dan was purely evil, if there were no shades of gray. She hated shades of gray now, she really did.

When the final buzzer sounded, she joined the rest of the squad in the victory cheer, and then rushed off to the locker room with Brooke, who was surprisingly eager to leave the gym in her own right. "What's going on?" Haley asked as her as they changed out of their cheer uniforms.

"Luke," she muttered tersely. "He thinks that I'm being stupid about this, that it doesn't matter what Peyton feels for him. Well, of course it matters, hello, best friend, right? Why are boys so stupid?"

"They just are?" Haley asked, feeling lame. "Brooke, it isn't his fault what Peyton feels. You shouldn't punish him for it."

"This isn't a punishment!" she exclaimed. "This is me backing off so I don't step on Peyt's toes. I couldn't stand doing that." Giving up with changing, she pulled a sweatshirt over her head and stomped towards the door. "I'll be on the bus, sulking."

Haley rolled her eyes, but wisely kept her mouth shut. There was no use in talking to Brooke when she got like that; living together, that was the first lesson Haley learned. As soon as she got her things together, she headed back through the gym, smiling at Skillz as he flirted with Bevin. Not exactly a pairing she would've endorsed a year ago, but they were sweet in a way.

"Hales, oh thank God," Luke groaned, grabbing her arm. Apparently all thoughts of their earlier disagreements had fled. "My mom's car broke down," he whispered urgently. "She is getting a ride home from Dan. Dan!"

"Luke, it's a ride in a car, not – well, you know," she tried, crinkling her nose. "She'll be fine. If anyone can handle that jackass, it is definitely Karen."

"She shouldn't have to," he argued stubbornly. "She deserves better than ever having to speak to him or of him."

"Stop it," Haley urged him gently. "Luke, stop freaking out about this. All it will do is upset your mom, and you don't want that."

Nodding wearily, he leaned forward, his head dropping down to rest on hers. "Thanks, Hales. I just don't like seeing her in – "

"Hey, I know," she interrupted, hugging him tight before pulling back from him. "I don't either. But she's so strong, Luke, you have to keep that in mind. She's a big girl, and she knows what she can and what she can't handle. Give her some credit."

"Yeah, I know I should," he smiled wryly, "But you know I'm not so great at that."

"Yes, I do know that," she laughed with him, shaking her head. "Come on, let's go. Sooner we're all on the bus, sooner we can get the heck out of here."

They turned to leave, Luke pointedly ignoring Karen and Dan as they marched over towards them. "Lucas," Karen sighed, grabbing his arm and pulling him to the side. Haley cringed when he rolled his eyes at his mother, knowing he'd get an earful for the disrespect that night.

"And once again, it's just us," Dan quipped. "Excited to see me on a daily basis?"

"Why would I see you?" Haley asked, slightly bewildered. "You don't work on the weekends – that would cut into the time you spend sharpening the points on your horns and spit-shining your tail to make sure it stays that nice, devilish red."

"How well you know me," Dan chuckled, more than a little amused by the girl before him. "We'll just have so much fun working together." She opened her mouth, probably to protest again how often they'll be working together, but he cut her off. "See, the thing is, you and I will be working very similar hours. I'd just hate to give you such a great job only to find out you were using it to steal from me."

"Steal? From you?" she gasped. "Are you kidding me?"

"Well, honey, you don't exactly come from the right side of town, now do you? Assuming the worst might not be fair, but it is certainly not out of line."

"Yeah, nothing is really out of line for you, is it, Dan?" she sighed, looking around the gym for the closest exit. "And whatever. You know, I ought to refuse to start working for you at all until I know for fact that you are paying for Luke's meds and he's seen a doctor."

"Getting him my money is your responsibility," Dan smirked dismissively. "That gives you no leeway on the job thing, Miss James."

"Oh, no," she countered angrily, "You'll give him the money or you'll give him the meds. One way or another, these things will come from you. And you will act like you care about someone other than yourself when you see him."

"And where is this defensiveness when it comes to Nathan, your supposed husband?" Dan retorted. "I haven't seen you get your hackles up about him at all lately."

"Don't bring him into this," she snapped back at him, her tone dropping to a low whisper. "This has nothing to do with him, do you understand that? This is about Lucas, this is about what I can do to make sure he is happy and healthy. And I know that caring about people in that way is a foreign concept to you, but don't you dare act like he's not the only reason I'm doing this."

"You're quite the martyr, aren't you?"

"No, I'm not; I'm nothing like that. This isn't about playing martyr or anything else. God, I don't even care whether or not you believe that, Dan. All I care about is making sure Lucas gets the medicine he needs."

"I'm sure that's true," Dan smiled in his most condescending manner. "Because you're so selfless and wonderful, right?"

"It's absolutely true," Karen said from behind her, and she tensed up in fear and worry over what Karen heard, and Dan does the same, causing no small amount of surprise for Haley. They both relaxed when it became obvious she didn't hear any mention of Luke needing medication. "Why are you harassing her, Dan? I thought we'd discussed this already."

Haley watched them wide-eyed, her gaze drifting back and forth between the two as though watching a tennis match. The sparks shooting off between them fascinated and horrified her, as she'd been through enough in the last year to recognize what they meant. It was nothing short of horrifying to bear witness to the chemistry between Karen and Dan, chemistry that she could only imagine no one else had seen in seventeen or so years.

Backing away, Haley stared at the ground, trying not to think of how Nathan and Luke's heads would explode if they ever caught wind of this. Secrets, around here, were never in short supply. "I – um, bus. I'm going to the bus," Haley muttered, her eyes on the ground still as she backed away.

"That is just – I think I'm going to hurl," she muttered to herself as she scrambled down the hall toward the sweet freedom the doors provided.

"You sick?" Luke asked from behind her, concerned.

"Nah, just caught sight of you coming out of the locker room," she teased him. "That ugly mug is a hazard to eaten lunches everywhere."

"Brutal," he muttered, pouting at her. "What are you doing out here? Shouldn't you be on the bus letting Nathan jerk you around some more?"

"Luke," she drawled out, "It isn't like that. He's been – we've been – I don't know, better lately. Things are calmer, more comfortable. Maybe like we're taking a step in the right direction."

"Oh, is that so?"

"Yes, it is," she chirped, her heart stopping when Dan and Karen walk out of the gym together quietly. "Um, I'm going to go get on the bus. Luke?"

"No, no one is getting on the bus," Karen said flatly. "We're all riding home together."

Luke opened his mouth to speak, but started coughing frantically instead. Haley whacked him on the back, groaning when Nathan came out of the locker room, warily eyeing the four of them.

"What's going on?" Nathan asked.

"We're all riding home together," Luke sputtered with forced false cheer, glaring at Karen. "Like one big happy family."

"Well, like I said, the bus is calling. Good seeing you all," Haley said quietly, trying to sidestep away from the group, but Karen clamped her hand down on her shoulder, shaking her head. "But I – "

"Ride with us for me," Karen said, bringing out her trump card of guilt and respect. Haley groaned, crinkling her nose at Karen. "I'll take that as a yes."

"You are really mean sometimes," Haley sighed, laughing when Karen linked arms with her, pulling her towards the parking lot."

"No, no, no," Nathan said slowly, "This thing, this does not work for me. I'm riding the bus with Haley. Come on, Hales."

"She doesn't have to ride the bus just because you say so, Nathan!" Luke yelled angrily. "She's got a mind of her own, she'll ride in the car with the rest of us."

"Oh, so I can't make a decision that goes along with hers, but you can order her around?" Nathan growled. "That's bullshit, Luke."

"Both of you shut up and get in the car," Dan ordered, annoyed with his offspring for jumping at any chance to start a pissing match. Uh, not that he helped foster that trait in both of them or anything. Nope, not him.

"You can't tell me what to do!" Luke yelled, wrenching away from Haley who'd grabbed onto his arm. "You aren't my – you aren't anything to me!"

Haley's eyes widened as Dan steps back like he was slapped. Even Nathan had fallen silent, abandoning his taunting of Luke, as he watched his dad's face contort into a fascinating mix of hurt, horror, and anger.

"Everyone just go get in the car," Karen said quietly. "No arguing, no snotty remarks, no sarcasm. Just sit in your seat and be silent."

As they drove home in the dark, from her position squished into the backseat between Nathan and Luke, Haley could only think of one car ride that was even half as uncomfortable as this. And that was a long time ago, and really, it didn't compare to the agony that this was.

This was awkward. Uncomfortable. Awkward and uncomfortable in ways that she couldn't even begin to describe. Horrifying.

And this was her family. For better and for worse.


	4. Brave Little Soldiers

**Chapter Four – ****Brave Little Soldiers**

"Lucas Eugene Scott, if I've told you once, I've told you a thousand times, it was just a ride. You are really getting out of line with this," Karen said sternly, not sure how much ground she had on this. How much of a right did she have to tell him to mind his own business when technically, his mother and his father, however reluctant, are his business?

Haley watched the conversation from her spot on the couch, trying to blend in to the background as best possible. This was one dilemma she wouldn't touch with a ten foot pole. Things had been intense ever since Dan dropped them off with Karen and Luke arguing back and forth over the repercussions of accepting a ride from Dan.

"What would you have had me do, Lucas?" Karen went on. "Would you have me stand there on the side of the highway waiting for the first toothless redneck in a pickup truck to come by and get me? No, thank you. I'd rather take my chances on known evils."

"That's great, Mom. Why don't you invite him over for dinner, huh? He can sit at Uncle Keith's spot, and we could have Nathan come over, too. Hey, maybe Deb, even! And why not Haley, let's make this a true family thing, why don't we?" Luke yelled, not willing to give an inch on this. After everything Dan had done, after every threat he had leveled, and especially after following through on the most important one, Dan had no spot in his life.

"I'm going to walk home now," Haley whispered, trying to sneak out of the room.

"Sit down," Karen ordered, and Haley complied immediately. "It's dark and way too late for you to go home. You'll stay here tonight."

"But I have work tomorrow, and I'll need to get clothes and – "

"I'll take you over there in plenty of time," Karen promised her, ignoring the curious looks that Luke was giving them. "Don't worry, it'll be fine."

Nodding, Haley staod back up. "Then I'm going to go borrow a pair of sweats, Luke, and then get to bed. Early day and all that. See you in the morning."

She went into Luke's room and changed, flopping down on the bed. She could hear their muffled argument continue, punctuated by Luke's loud and angry words as they debated the Dan topic yet again.

The door swung open about fifteen minutes later and after slamming it in anger, Luke flopped down on the bed beside her. "Am I going to get killed by my brother for lying next to you?"

"Don't be a dumbass, Luke," she told him, elbowing him lightly in the ribs. "Speaking of which, why are you being such a jerk to your mom?"

"I wasn't being a jerk," he huffed, staring up at the ceiling. "I just don't want her being involved with him in any way. Or in debt to him. You know Dan. To him, giving her a ride is a debt. And he'll collect. That's what he does, how he works."

She was sure she knew as well as anyone how Dan operated, but she didn't offer that. "Luke, I know you don't want to hear this for some reason, but you don't need to worry about her. She'll deal with Dan, you'll see."

"No," he countered, "That's not the principle of this. I don't want her to have to deal with him, Haley! Look at all the hurt he's caused her, caused both of us. I don't want that for us anymore, ever again." He looks over at her. "Why doesn't he just leave us alone?"

"Well, one, it's Dan. Doing the right thing goes against his nature," she reasoned. "And two, you're his son. Whether you like it or not, whether or not anyone wants to see it or admit it, that means that he has something vested in you."

"You know I don't like it," he muttered testily. "I hate it, in fact. He – he was the one that didn't want us, Haley. Why should he still be dictating the terms of our interactions with him? That's bullshit!"

"I'm not disagreeing with you, Luke," she sighed softly. "It sucks, and we all know it. I'm just saying that there is bound to be more there than he admits."

"God, what's got you supporting him all of a sudden?" Luke bit out, jumping off the bed. "This is ridiculous, Hales. It's Dan. You can't just defend him, suggest that he might actually care about me. Not considering what you know!"

"I am considering what I know," she assured him, sitting up and drawing her knees against her chest. "Luke, just don't stress about this all too much, okay?"

"How can I not stress about it?" he asked tiredly. "It's my mom; she's all that I have left in the world. Stop stressing is not an option."

"Wow, I guess the friendship bracelets didn't mean anything, huh?" she snapped before she can stop herself. "Thanks a lot, buddy."

"Hales, I didn't mean it like that!"

"Yes, you did, you self-pitying brat." Shaking her head, she got off the bed and jammed her feet into her cheer shoes. "I'm going home to sleep in my own bed."

"My mom said to stay!" he protested.

"'My mom said to stay'," she mimicked him mockingly. "Well, guess what, I don't live here, and I – I – I don't even have anyone to tell me what to do, so I don't have to stay."

They both cringed at how juvenile they're sounding, but neither cared right now. Luke was too wrapped up in this thing with Dan, and Haley didn't want to argue with him tonight.

"Don't go," he sighed. "Please, Hales, stay. Just – this, God, why are we letting Dan cause problems for us when he isn't even here?"

"Because it's Dan, and he's trouble."

"Think it'll ever get easier?" Luke asked, sitting back down on the bed, smiling gratefully when she did the same.

"Yeah, in about a year when you're living the high life on some fabulous college campus, preferably out of state, and rubbing Dan's nose in it all by playing some kick-ass basketball," she grinned, patting him on the back. "It will get easier. Someday maybe things won't even reek of awkward every time you two are in the room together."

He laughed at that. "There's something I wouldn't count on," he advised her. "Because nothing that strange has ever happened. And with the HCM, basketball is sort of becoming a pipe dream, Hales."

"Maybe not," Haley agreed, even though she wouldn't be surprised if things turned out otherwise. But at this point, he's definitely not wrong. She didn't even touch other comment, knowing he didn't really want to talk about it now.

"I – is there more going on there than the car just breaking down?" he asked quietly in a voice so lost and confused that her heart just ached for him. "I don't know, Hales. It seems like maybe there is. Doesn't she know better by now?"

"Luke, your mom wouldn't do that," she said confidently, honestly believing that, despite the sparks, Dan Scott was one road that Karen Rowe would never again go down.

"You saw it, too," he said, but there was no heat of accusation behind it. "You saw how they were looking at each other. Did you see in the car when they'd keep glancing at each other? I – I probably sound like a jerk, and I kind of feel like one, but this isn't some guy she met at the grocery store, Hales! This is Dan."

"I know," she soothed. "I know. But Lucas, no matter what, I don't think she'll go there. I really don't."

"I – I can't let him hurt her again. I won't."

"What are you going to do?" she asked, regarding him suspiciously. "Nothing stupid, I hope!"

"I don't know," he admitted. "But if he comes around here, trying to make nice, I'm not putting up with it. I fell for that last time, and it's not happening again. Look what he's done to Deb and Nathan. He's not getting the chance to do that to me and my mom."

"He shouldn't," she agreed whole-heartedly. She has seen what he'd done to Nathan, and to a lesser extent Deb. She didn't want that for Karen or for Luke, just like she didn't want Nathan dealing with that anymore, either. She also knew that it wasn't her choice, and that what she thought was best for people wasn't always what people thought was best for themselves. Silly people.

"She didn't exactly shove him away, did she?" he questioned softly, already knowing the answer. "We could've found another way home. Whitey would've loved to have her on the bus, right? It didn't have to be Dan!"

"No, it didn't," she sighed, grabbing and squeezing his hand hard. "Luke, it doesn't mean anything." She didn't know which one of them she was trying to convince now. "Dan is married to Deb, and I think we're all aware that she's the adulterer in that relationship."

"Like he's so much better," Luke scoffed. "Come on, open your eyes. If he had the chance, he wouldn't hesitate, not with Mom. You saw how they looked at each other."

She'd deny it if she could, but there was no point. Luke was no fool, and he knew that Haley saw the same sparks, that same hint of fire that he did.

"This family gets more and more messed up by the day," she tried to joke. "I mean, look at me and Nathan. Estranged. Deb and Dan are in some kind of prank war that only two year olds would find interesting. And Keith is God knows where. Dan is on death's door every time we turn around. Crazy, right?"

"And my mom and my father have something going on," he finished, sighing. "Oh, and Nathan won't talk to me. At least he's talking to you again."

"Luke, give him a break," she sighed, hating that she was in between them again. "Things haven't been easy for him."

He gave her an incredulous look, shaking his head. "Everything has been easy for him lately, and you know why? Because you've let it be. You let him get away with treating you like complete crap, never saying anything. So yeah, I do think things have been easy for him."

"Well, don't you think he deserves a break, at least from me?" she asked quietly. "I left, Luke. What's worse than that?"

"Uh, treating someone the way he's treating you. He's jerking you around, Hales." He smiled slightly at her. "Look, there is no doubt in my mind that you two will figure things out and be better than ever, but I just wish that in the meantime, you weren't letting him do this to you."

"It's getting better," she pointed out hopefully. "Maybe he'll start letting me in again."

"I hope so," Luke grinne, reaching his arms above his head in a stretch. "So, I'm wide awake now. Want to go down to the river court and shoot hoops with me?"

"Ugh, I don't shoot hoops and you know it," she groaned, flopping back on the bed. "Besides, I have to work early tomorrow."

"Oh, come on, we're young! If there is ever going to be a time in our lives when we can stay up late and get up early, this is it. Come on, Hales," he pleaded. "We never hang out anymore and just do stupid things."

She laughed, agreeing. "Okay, fine, but only one game of whatever barnyard animal it is that you like, and then we're coming back here."

"Deal," he grinned. "And Haley? It's horse."

"I knew that," she groused, flipping him off.

The walk there was refreshing for both of them. They ignored the figurative elephants in the figurative room, and just gossiped about school and teachers and made plans for Christmas break.

"So, speaking of Christmas, what are your plans?" he asked, not wanting to put an end to the joviality, but genuinely curious.

"If Nathan and I are still wherever it is that we are now, I'll probably go to whichever sibling's house that my parents end up at. It'd be nice to see them again," she sighed wistfully.

"Where are Jimmy and Lydia, anyway?" he wondered aloud, "I got a postcard from Cawker City, Kansas."

"Oh, God, they didn't," she groaned, rolling her eyes. "You know, it is one thing that I have to know and live with my parents being such big dorks that they'd stop and see the world's biggest ball of twine, but did they have to make my best friend aware of that? I mean, really."

Luke laughed at her show of melodrama, patting her on the back. "So where are they? Are they following the Griswold's trip and headed for Wallyworld now?"

"Oh, I hate you!" she exclaimed, kicking at him. "You are a jerk, Lucas Eugene Scott. Butthead!"

"Wow, them there's fightin' words, Hales," he choked out between laughs. "Come on, you know I love your parents almost as much as I love my mom. I'm just kidding."

"You better be," she pouted. "And for the record, I think they're at the Grand Canyon." His eyes bulged out at that. "Don't even say it," she warned.

He held his hands up as he bit his tongue. "I wasn't going to." At her look, he amended his statement. "Well, I won't now. Hey, at least you weren't packed into the station wagon with Taylor and dragged across country."

"Yeah, Florida to the grandparents' house was far enough, thank you very much," she smirked. "And thank you for bringing up Taylor. She sent me a postcard asking how "our" boyfriend was. Tacky much?"

"She was never anything else," Luke pointed out.

"I just hate her sometimes," she mumbled, rolling her eyes at herself, "Which is stupid. I mean, look at everything else that's going on. What sane person would be worried about something as trivial as hating Taylor?"

"Anyone who has met her?" he joked. "And besides, no one ever said you were sane, right?"

"Luke," she whined, laughing with him, "Come on, this is serious. Well, no it isn't, actually. Taylor can go – go piss off."

"Are you drunk?" he laughed at her. "Because you're being really goofy."

"Oh, stop it," she grinned. "Look, go throw your basketball around and let's get back to your place. It's cold out here, and I've still got work in the morning."

"You don't throw it around," he corrected her haughtily. "You shoot it, Haley. God, you'd think Nathan might've taught you one damn thing."

"He taught me lots of stuff," she threw back at him, wiggling her eyebrows suggestively. "The good ones had nothing to do with basketball."

"Gross," Luke muttered, taking a warm-up shot. "Come on, Air-less Jordan, let's see what you've got, girly girl."

"Hey!" she protested. "I'm in possession of one wicked granny shot, and if you aren't nicer, I'll use it to bust your ass, mister."

"Yeah, I'm scared," he laughed, pretending to shake. "Big, bad Haley James is going to outshoot me."

"First of all, it's Scott," she reminded him, "Second of all, there are way better areas in which I could school you, Luke. Just keep that in mind."

"Sorry, James just flows better," he offered with a shrug. "Besides, thinking of you as my sister-in-law is still a little weird."

"Really?" she asked, watching as he sends the ball towards the hoop in a perfect arc. "How come?"

"Yeah. I mean, I'm used to it, but it's still different. I don't know, there's that whole thing where at heart I'm a little boy who doesn't want to share his toys, and then there's the part where it's Nathan."

"And that makes it worse," she noted casually, bouncing the ball when he passed it to her. "It's weird for me, too. Sometimes, not all the time. Being the only married 17 year old around kind of puts a mark on you."

"But you wouldn't trade it for anything," he smiled, shaking his head as she missed the basket entirely. "That's – you know what? It's pretty admirable. If Nathan can't appreciate what he's got in you, then screw him."

"You'd screw him?" Haley teased before grimacing. "Okay, no. That's something Brooke might say and enjoy, but I just can't even joke about that. Oh, ew."

"I think that last 'ew' covered it, so I'll let it go without giving you hell for going there," he said magnanimously.

"Oh, aren't you grand?" Haley smirked, hip checking him as he was about to take his next shot, missing wildly. "Oops, guess I get to pick the next shot, huh?"

"No granny shots," he tried to warn her. "Those are off-limits to you, cheater."

"No way, I'm not a cheater! We didn't agree to that rule before we started playing. Besides, why are you whining, you know you'll win," she pointed out. "My shot, my choice!"

"Fine," he grumbled, waving her towards the basket. "Just hurry up and miss already, okay? And Haley? Hip checking is considered cheating by most reasonable people. Again, not that that's an issue for you."

"Oh, now I'm offended," she glared as she lines up her shot. She cheered and did a little dance as the ball bounced off the backboard and around the rim, finally dropping through the net. "Woo! I rock!"

"You're something alright," Luke agreed, rolling his eyes at her antics as she continued to taunt him. He lined up the shot, groaning when he missed. "Damn granny shots. Big kids don't shoot like that."

"Well, Lukie, it's a good thing that I don't wanna grow up then!"

"Why? You're a Toys-R-Us kid?"

"Maybe," she laughed. "No one ever buys me toys anymore, though. Well, my parents took time out from their Choose Your Own Adventure © trip this summer and let me talk them into staying at the beach for a few weeks. Dad bought me a pail and a shovel to make sandcastles with."

"I hope he remembered to tell you not to eat the sand," Luke grinned at her, groaning when she started to line up her next shot, another of the granny variety of course.

"Shut up! I was two when I did that, and you were not given that information so that you could tease me with it!"

"Then why was I given that information?" he laughed, pumping his fist when the ball hits the front of the rim, bouncing back to her.

"Shoot," she muttered, hurtling the ball towards him. "Because my mom has a big mouth? There is nothing you need to do with that knowledge, Luke."

He laughed, backing up well behind the three-point arc and sending the ball swishing through the net after a perfect jump shot. "Ooh, beat that, short stuff!"

"I hate you," she whined. "Who thought up basketball, anyway? What a stupid sport. Now soccer, there's a real sport. I can kick things without missing, and their net is huge and easier to get the ball through."

Luke looked at her doubtfully. "Whatever you say, Hales."

"Now, that is the smartest thing that you've said all day," she grinned, half-heartedly lobbing the ball towards the net.

"Ouch, that one had to hurt," he grinned, winking at her. They finished up the game quickly, walking home together still enjoying the teasing banter. Both their minds were off all things Dan, at least temporarily, and both were equally grateful for the reprieve.

"Hey, you never did tell me where you're working," he reminded her as they snuck back into the house, both relieved that Karen wasn't there waiting for them. "What's that all about?"

"It's about nothing," she lied through clenched teeth. "Look, Luke, it – I'm bummed out about quitting the café. Can we not talk about this new job and the fact that it is a reminder of what I won't have anymore please?"

"Okay, okay," he gave in, sighing. "You aren't working at the strip joint on 8th street, are you?"

"Yes, Luke, I am," she deadpanned, "And my stage name is also my porn name, so if you're there and they announce Bunny Beaugard as the next performer, scram."

"God, that's not funny," he groaned. "Why do you have to do that? I bet you wouldn't say anything like that in front of Nathan. He'd probably give himself an aneurysm he'd get so pathetically jealous and overwrought."

"And you'd know from overwrought, wouldn't you, Luke?"

"No, Haley, I'd know from tortured," he corrected her, and she laughed in delight at his self-deprecating remark.

"You made a joke!" she giggled. "At your own expense. And most shocking of all, it was funny!"

"I can be funny once in awhile," he sighed, grabbing a pillow and blanket and heading for the floor. "I can be chivalrous, too, so take the bed."

"Hey, Luke?"

"Hmm?"

"Thanks."

"You're welcome," he answered, even though he wasn't sure what he's being thanked for. "Love you, Hales."

"Love you, too, goofball."

She was early the next morning. Karen, borrowing Luke's truck, took her back to her apartment and made her a little breakfast while she was getting ready, and then dropped her off here. In the light of day, Karen was clearly a little wearier of Dan, even going so far as to ask Haley if she minded being dropped off on the sidewalk in front of the dealership so she didn't have to pull in.

Sighing, she pushed open the door, nodding to a guy in a mechanic's suit that called out to her. She wouldn't be surprised if Dan suggested to all of them that they pursue her. He was just that displeased with her marriage to Nathan, and sabotage was clearly not below him.

"Well, Miss James, you're actually early," he commented, a traditional, but surprisingly non-malicious, Scott smirk on his face.

"Yeah, you caught me," she grinned easily. "I just couldn't stay away, Dan!"

"It's Mr. Scott around here," he corrected her with a put upon sigh. "Come on, let me show your desk. Agnes is there, and she'll show you the basics like how to use the intercom system and things like that."

"Goody," Haley smirked with false cheer. "Can't wait!"

"Right," he nodded, trying to get a handle on the girl standing in front of him. "Well, let's go meet Agnes."

She followed him through the building, for once actually taking time to look around. She was going to be here a lot, so she might as well get used to the place.

"Yes, let's meet Agnes!" Haley smiled, putting some of her newfound cheerleading training to good use as she managed to put up a peppy façade. "And what's on the schedule for after that, Daddy Dan? Father and daughter-in-law bonding?"

"You're really going to be a thorn in my side, aren't you?" he grumbled, ignoring her taunts as he hurried over to Agnes' desk. "Damn it, she isn't here yet." Looking around, he spotted one of the salesmen, waving him over. "Louie, this is Haley. She'll be doing Agnes' job on the weekends and evenings. I don't know where Agnes is now, but could you get her started on the phones and PA system?"

"Sure thing, boss," Louie agreed, motioning for Haley to follow him around Agnes' desk. Satisfied that she's out of his hair, at least temporarily, Dan left, heading for his office.

Maybe blackmailing her into working here wasn't such a good idea, he couldn't help but think now. She's more like Karen than Deb, which meant she wouldn't give into his demands and she wouldn't resort to childish pranks to assert herself. She'd use that smart mouth of hers against him at every turn, he was sure, but she was not going to sink to the juvenile level that Deb had. He could almost understand why Nathan was so infatuated with her.

That didn't mean he had to like her, though. In fact, it was quite the opposite. That little slip of a girl had a lot of nerve as far as he was concerned. Walking into his place of business and making demands of how he treated Lucas, that took an awful lot on her part. But she was just an irritant, trying to force him into some sort of relationship with the boy. He'd made it clear that he didn't want one, and yet there she was, doing her best to counter that.

The intercom buzzed into his office, and reluctantly, he pressed the button down. "What?" he barked into it.

"Hi Daddy Dan," Haley's faux cheer rang through the line. "Agnes just called in. Her granddaughter is really sick, and her son and daughter-in-law are out of town. She isn't going to be able to make it in today."

"Fuck," Dan cursed under his breath. "Then who – damn it. I'll be out there in five minutes. Have Louie stay with you and make sure you don't mess anything up!"

Pushing the button off, Haley rolled her eyes at Louie. "Seriously, Lou, what could I possibly mess up? Press 'intercom', press '5-0', speak. Not brain surgery, right?"

"Right," Louie agreed with a chuckle.

"And to answer…this one is tricky, pick up the phone. Wow, I hope I can remember that one!" she said in her best vacant voice. "I mean, really, do you think he understands what the A in AP stands for? It definitely isn't remedial!"

"Quit bragging about your academic accomplishments and come with me," Dan growled in irritation from behind her. She winked at Louie, giving him a small wave as she turned to follow Dan toward one of the back rooms.

"Uh, this isn't where you take me to kill me, is it?" she asked, peering around the room filled only with file cabinets.

"You wish," he smirked. "This might actually be worse than death which is of course where the joy lies in it for me."

"Oh, this isn't where you start singing show tunes, is it? This room looks like it would be fairly soundproof, but probably not enough," she smirked at him, looking at the rows and rows of files and wondering what he wanted her to do. "And really, I'd only enjoy that if you were dressed as a sailor or something."

"Knock the wise guy routine off," he ordered brusquely. "You working here is not an opportunity for you to make snide, petty comments constantly; you're here to actually do work. And the first order of business is to get what is in these files entered into the computer."

She looked at him as if he's lost his mind. "H – hey, there must be fifty filing cabinets in here, with five drawers each! That's two hundred and fifty drawers, each holding roughly, what, fifty records? A hundred? More?"

"More," he grined. "See, when I offered to bump up your pay so neatly, it wasn't going to come for free. You'll earn the money you make here, Haley. Don't you dare think or expect otherwise."

"Well – am I supposed to answer phones or do this?" she asked, confused. "There's not really a good way to do both!"

"But…all those AP classes you took? I thought that the A didn't stand for remedial," he smirked at her. "I guess that you will just have to figure out a way, won't you?"

"Who's going to show me how to do this?" she asked, fighting back a glare. "I don't even know what is in those files or what kind of computer program I'll be using. I'm in the dark here."

"Since Agnes isn't here today, I guess I'll be showing you what to do for now," he sighed, not having thought that far ahead. "I'll have Louie find someone to cover the front, and you can work on that with Agnes tomorrow or Monday. For now, you'll have the pleasure of my company while you put those AP smarts to use."

"Lucky me," she muttered under her breath, her hands on her hips as she again surveyed the room. "Where's the computer? Surely you haven't been packing files off to some other room? There should be a computer in here."

"Are you ever not bossy?" he asked with disdain.

"No, not at all," she smirked. "I just reserve it for special occasions. You're a special occasion." She tilted her head to the side, regarding him silently. "Speaking of, have you figured out when and how you'll be getting Luke money? Because I really don't think it is fair of you to put your end of the bargain off when I'm here fulfilling mine. Not to mention, it is much more crucial that your end be fulfilled soon."

"I somehow doubt that he's going to be overly thrilled when I come around with money. Not if last night was any indication," Dan sighed, wearily rubbing his fingers over his forehead. "That boy isn't exactly my biggest fan."

"Oh, because you've given him so many reasons!" Haley scoffed, unwilling to give him even the slightest bit of pity.

"You don't know what I want from him, you don't know how I feel about him," Dan said quietly. "This whole thing would work a lot better if you didn't stand around being presumptuous."

She smiled at that, shaking her head. "Right. You mean presumptuous like you are about my motives towards Nathan."

"That's different. Lucas is my son. I have a vested interest in him. What you and Nathan have is nothing but a passing infatuation. You'll blink one day, and poof – it'll be gone, and you won't even know what happened to it."

"And you have no idea what there is between Nathan and me," she countered hotly. "Just because you can't fathom two people loving each other enough to make it work through anything doesn't mean it doesn't exist, Dan."

"And you're just a naïve little girl pinning her hopes and dreams on the shoulders of one reckless, irresponsible boy who is way better at thinking of himself than anyone else," Dan said, surprisingly mild. "It's all fun and games now, but it won't be that way forever."

She stared at him incredulously, wondering, if her life was currently fitting his definition of fun and games, what the opposite must be to him. "There is nothing fun or game-like about where Nathan and I are right now. And I accept responsibility for that. But if you think one hard time will have either of us backing down, then you're insane."

"You're right," he agreed. "A hard time, or a betrayal as it stands, would most likely send Nathan running for the hills. Don't you go letting yourself think he's coming around and that things will magically be okay again. I can guarantee you that he isn't."

"The thing is, Dan, you don't know much about me and you probably know even less about Nathan. And that probably says a lot, right?" she stated flatly, not caring that her words were aimed to wound. Not caring that she could tell she hit her mark by the way the light in his eyes diminishes slightly. He was brutal to her, flinging his alleged truths her way; she'd be damned if she wouldn't do the same.

"I know Nathan – I do, of course I do!" he insisted, and she knew that it was more to himself than it was to her. "He – I had him for seventeen years. You – you can't compare to that."

"But he can be honest with me," she told him, driving the point home. "He doesn't have to pretend with me, I don't place unreasonable expectations on him. I leave that to you, Dan. I love him for who he is, not who I think he should be."

"Bullshit," he muttered, glaring at her now, tamping down all emotion other than anger. "You're the one who roped him into marriage, you're the one that expects him to be a faithful husband, to provide for you, forgetting that he is only eighteen."

"Whether you want to believe it or not, I'd do anything for him," she asserted. "I will go anywhere, do anything for him. That's just fact."

"Did it ever occur to you that maybe, just maybe, some of that is how I feel for both Luke and Nate? No, of course not, because the only person you care about is yourself, you selfish little brat!"

She stared at him, and he held it, not looking away from her scrutinizing. "Then maybe – just maybe – for once in your miserable life, you should show it."

He nodded, mumbling something about getting some things from his office before turning and fleeing the room. He hated that she saw the weakness in him, and he hated that she had the courage to exploit it. Most of all, he hated that she's the best chance at redemption he had with either of his sons.

He resented her for her presence in both their lives; resented knowing that they'd both choose her in a heartbeat over him. She was in the position that he'd give anything to be in – the boys clearly adored her, loved her. She could touch anything in either of them, and he didn't have a fraction of that ability. He was so goddamn jealous of a tiny, seventeen year old girl that he thought he must be losing his mind.

She thought her advice is so straight-forward. Just do it. Life wasn't a goddamn Nike© commercial. You couldn't just do something because you wanted to, or even because it was the right thing to do. And if she'd take her rose-colored glasses off and look around, maybe she'd understand that there was so much more to this than feelings.

He'd made so many mistakes with both Nathan and Lucas, and even if he had an idea how to go about fixing things, he wasn't sure if the breaks could be repaired. Especially with Lucas. Too many years of neglect and denial when it came to him, and when he had his chances, he made it all worse. Things with Nathan were nearly as bad.

She watched him go with mixed emotions – shocked that he'd given up without finding a way to zing in the last word; apprehension that he could be in there making the phone call that would screw her over with both Luke and Nathan; sadness that while he loved them, he didn't know how to show it; resignation to the fact that there was a chance he never would learn how to show it.

She didn't know if she felt worse for him or worse for Nathan and Luke. No, not true, she definitely felt worse for Nathan and Luke. Their inner struggles were out there for everyone to see, and Dan had exploited the lingering feelings they each have for him. There was a lingering sense of pity, one that she'd always had for Dan, that was starting to turn more into – what? Sympathizing? Commiseration? She'd been on the brunt end of both Lucas and Nathan's hostilities; she could sort of guess what he felt like.

It didn't excuse him anything, though. She knew that, felt it more acutely than most. The damage he'd done, it was almost unimaginable to her. If she didn't have a front row seat for a lot of it, she might not give it as much credence as it deserved. The fact of the matter was, she did see it, so she did know what Dan was capable of. And more to the point, she knew what he was willing to do, even to his own sons.

There was no getting past that, no matter how…almost real Dan could seem at times. Well, she supposed that he was always real, but sometimes he seemed human. Like he might actually be in possession of a heart and a soul. Of course, it usually took no more than fifteen seconds for him to turn around and disprove that notion, but it did come out occasionally.

Maybe the ones that she felt sorry for in all this, knowing that in his own way, Dan did love them, are Nathan and Lucas. If Dan were just a little less twisted, had a little less pride, knew how to keep his mouth shut once in awhile, maybe then they'd have relationships with him that weren't bigger disasters than the Titanic.

She's not sure what she's supposed to do in here; he never said yes or no to bringing a computer in here, he never showed her how to use whatever computer program she was entering the information into, and he never even told her…well, anything. Sighing, she opened a drawer and flips through the records, sighing at the sight of mundane purchase orders and sales receipts. Boring, tedious, and mounds of them – does it get any better?

"Make any progress yet?" Dan asked from the doorway some time later.

Glaring up at him, she blew a few strands of hair out of her face. "How could I make progress, Pops? I have nothing to input these into. You kinda left before I could get started," she reminded him pointedly.

"Well, you did do something in here," he noteed, looking around at some of the stacks surrounding her. "What's that if not work?"

"It's nothing," she sighed. "You left me here, with nothing to do. I don't do idle time well, so I started putting some of these in date order. I hazarded a guess that it would be most helpful to you to have the newest ones in the system first."

Blinking in surprise, he thought it over, nodding shortly when he saw the validity of her point. "Fine. Well, grab a stack, and let's go."

With a deep sigh, she grabbed the most recent forms and followed him out the door, practically growling over the fact that he didn't bother to wait or help. Not that she expected any better. Actually, if she was half as smart as people thought, she'd have figured on worse. But apparently she kept proving she didn't have quite the brainpower everyone assumed God gave her. Or else she didn't know how to use what she'd got. Either way, it sucked.

"This would work better if you didn't spend the entirety of your time here in either a snit or putting on your martyr face, Haley," he sneered at her, after showing her how to enter the forms into the computer. "You should keep that in mind."

"Yes, because pleasing you and making nice is at the top of my list of things to do today, tomorrow, next week, next month, and next year," she tossed back, throwing in a sneer that Dan was sure would make Nathan proud of her. Apparently, his son did have things to teach the little know-it-all.

"Well," he muttered, glaring at her, pissed at himself for letting her get to him, "I'll just leave you to get this started then."

"What – what are your expectations for this?" she asked tiredly. "Is there a time frame you want this done in?"

He's surprised at the question; surprised she had the maturity to ask, surprised she cared enough to do the job in a timely fashion, surprised she'd not yet resorted to the silent treatment. "Erm, I'm not sure how long it will take. I suppose it doesn't really matter, just get them all entered," he instructed, shrugging.

She raised an eyebrow at him, and he wanted to snap something at her to tell her not to question him. She opened her big mouth first, though, asking, "So this is some sort of trap so that when I don't get it all done in a day, you get to yell at me and berate me, right?"

"You're the most irritating person I've ever met," Dan snapped back at her in pure frustration. "Do your job, and there won't be any problems."

"As long as you follow your end of the bargain," Haley began, "No, there won't. But until you get Lucas that money or get him to a doctor, then there is a problem."

"Don't threaten me," he warned her.

"It isn't a threat," Haley exclaimed, throwing her hands up in the air. "It's a reality. That's all you have to do! Just get Lucas the medical help he needs. God, you act like you're the one risking everything you have for this stupid charade."

He rolled his eyes, still put off by the martyr act. "You might think you're some great savior of my boys, but you aren't. You are just a little girl playing in a grown up world."

"This isn't a game," she corrected him stiffly. "It isn't playtime. This is about doing the best thing I can do to help my best friend. That isn't something I'd play games with."

"Fine," he conceded with a raised eyebrow, mocking her through his eyes. "Yep. Whatever you say. You're just quite the brave little soldier, aren't you?"

"Knock it off with that. I'm not a martyr, and I don't play at being a 'brave little soldier', as you put it," she muttered tiredly. "Look, just go do your work if you aren't going to talk to Lucas today. Let me get some of this done."

"Go right ahead," he smirked, turning and stomping out of the small room he'd stuck her in. She glared at his back, half ready to chase him down the hall and continue their argument. She saw the futility in that, though, and stayed put. There was nothing she could do about Dan. If there was one thing she should know and remember in her dealings with him, it was that.

After Dan left her alone, the rest of the day actually went by fairly quickly, despite the tedium of entering the exact same info over and over ad nauseum. The only interesting part was when she'd stumbled across the forms of someone she knew – hey, financial records were sort of like medical records – you just had to look. At least it gave her something to internally gossip with herself about. Or something like that.

As she was getting ready to leave, she stacked up what she hadn't gotten to, leaving them in a pile near the computer. Once the room was tidy – not that she was sure why she was bothering to tidy it up – she headed for the door, nodding at Louie but ignoring Dan standing behind him. To her relief, Karen was there in the parking lot, again in Luke's truck, waiting for her.

Without another glance back, she hurried to the door, opening it and jumping in. "Hey," she offered softly in greeting. "Thanks for getting me. If it weren't so dark, you know I'd walk. Actually, if it weren't dark and raining, I'd walk. I think I have some sort of wicked witch thing where I'll melt in the rain." 'Unless I'm with Nathan,' she can't help but add miserably in her head.

Karen smiled kindly at her, reaching over and patting her hand. "Don't worry about it, Haley," she offered the young girl. "It's no big deal."

"Yeah, it is," Haley disagreed with a wry smile. "Here I am, totally messing things up for you at the café by leaving you in the lurch, and then you have to chauffer me around. I promise, this is the last time. I'll get there on my own from now on. Hey, maybe I can get an unmarked company car! That'd be fun!"

"Stop it, Haley," Karen sighed, her tone sterner this time as she glanced at the girl so like a daughter to her. "I'd rather drop everything I was doing and drive you anywhere you needed to go than worry about you walking. So don't think like this is a hassle. It isn't."

Knowing she'd stumbled her way into an argument she couldn't possibly win, Haley nodded and mumbled her 'thanks'. "It – I'm lucky to have you."

"Oh, honey," Karen grinned, squeezing her hand. "Luke and I are just as lucky to have you, I promise you that. And Nathan is, too, maybe even more so. He'll realize that soon, you know that, right?"

"We'll see," Haley smiled slightly, not able to let go of her fears enough to do much entertaining of that possibility.

"He will, Haley. I've seen how he looks at you, like every second he's apart from you, it gets a little harder to breathe."

"I don't want him to feel that way," she countered, sighing. "I mean, I want him back, and I guess for him to come to want me back, he'll have to go through that. But I just hate thinking of him feeling even a fraction of the way I feel about it. It just…oh, I don't know."

"Sucks?" Karen offered, smiling when Haley lets out a small giggle.

"Yeah, there's a word for it."

Catching Haley's eye as they idled at a stoplight, Karen attempted to give her a reassuring smile. "He'll come around. It just takes a little time, sometimes."

"And it will be worth the wait," Haley dutifully quoted, rolling her eyes playfully. Despite the progress she and Nathan have seemed to make, she knew that it would only get tougher to mend things with him as she started spending more and more of her time working for Dan. And that was assuming he didn't find out where she's working, and hate her for that betrayal alone. Shuddering, she brushed off Karen's concerned look, forcing a smile on her face.

"It will be," Karen promised her fervently, concerned at the obvious withdrawal Haley seemed to be doing. If this was what working for Dan was going to do to the girl, Karen wouldn't let it go on for long. There was no way she was going to let Dan ruin the life of yet another person she loved, especially that of another child. He'd already got two of those under his belt; she wouldn't let him add Haley to that count.

The thing was, she didn't see that as being his motive. Besides, Haley had never, ever backed down from Dan, and from what Lucas had told her, the only time Haley even copped to being nervous around him was when he showed up to deliver the divorce papers to her. So that she'd seem so nervous and jumpy about things now and acting like she was pulling away or distancing herself, that gave Karen some pause.

"Is there anything else going on?" Karen finally decided to just ask. "Anything you'd like to tell me, Haley?"

The offer was tempting, and Haley actually did consider how much easier her life would be if she could confess to Karen. She couldn't, though. She'd dug herself a hole already by subverting Karen and going to work for Dan to purposely hide Luke's illness, not to mention betray and lie to both Luke and Nathan, so no matter what now, she didn't want anyone to find out. They found out, she lost. Big time.

And no matter how worth she insisted it would be to Dan, in her heart, she worried that it was something she couldn't possibly bear, them finding out the truth.

"Everything is fine," Haley said finally, looking over at Karen. "Guess I'm still just acclimating to the idea of working for Dan."

"Was he that horrible?" Karen asked with a groan. "Well, of course he was, he's Dan. What else would he be, right?"

"It's mostly just me," Haley corrected. "Dan, I don't know, he kind of rolls off my back, you know? In some ways, I feel sorry for him more than anything else. I know what he has missed out on with the way he's chosen to live his life."

"It's his choice, why do you feel sorry for him about it?" Karen asked, unsure what Haley meant.

"Sometimes – god, I don't know, should I be talking to you about this?" Haley sighed in frustration. "It – I don't want to upset you with talk of him."

"It won't upset me, I promise," Karen smiled at her, deliberately heading for her house instead of Haley's apartment. The girl would get a good meal tonight, and maybe not have to worry about Dan or anything else that was troubling her for a bit.

Haley looked a little doubtful at the assertion, but she shrugged and plowed on. "Maybe I'm wrong, but sometimes I think he's sorry about how things are with Nathan and Lucas," she told her, shrugging as if in apology for her words.

"Why?" Karen asked simply.

"A look on his face when I mention one of them, the way his voice catches in his throat when he says their names sometimes. Little things."

"Are you sure you aren't seeing those things because they're something that most fathers feel for their children? That you aren't, I don't know, maybe projecting them?" Karen asked quietly.

"You've seen them, too," Haley persisted, holding her breath. It was one thing to notice Karen noticing Dan, but it was quite another to let Karen know she had noticed all of the noticing.

Karen stared straight forward, not daring to look over at her. Haley raised an eyebrow, seeing the truth in Karen's body language as her hands turned white gripping the steering wheel and her lips compressed into a thin, straight line.

"I'm not sure what you think you are seeing, Haley, but I don't believe there is anything there," Karen announced, still not meeting her gaze. There are truths that she didn't want to face herself; she definitely did not want to face them with a girl who was almost a daughter to her.

Haley nodded, turning away to look out the window. She felt immediately awful for making Karen uncomfortable, but she has always had a knack for saying the wrong thing at the wrong time, so what else was new? "I'm sorry," she mumbled, not looking back over.

"It's okay, Haley. Please don't worry about it."

"No, it isn't," she sighed, finally glancing back towards Karen. "Why can't I ever learn to keep my big mouth shut? I mean, not only can I not shut up, but I have to go around putting words into other people's mouths, too. How's that for overkill?"

"Haley, stop," Karen laughed, making Haley feel immensely better about everything. "Don't worry about it for another second."

Haley nodded, blinking in surprise when it finally registered where they are. "Uh, Karen," she laughed, "I think you forgot to drop me off."

"No, I didn't forget. You're coming over for dinner. And you're staying the night, if I can talk you into it. Then I can take you to work tomorrow."

"Oh, no, you don't have to do that," Haley protested quietly. "I'll be fine, Karen. It isn't that far from the apartment."

"Be real, kid, you know I'm doing it because I want to, not because I feel I have to or need to," Karen promised, attempting to assuage her fears.

"You really are like a second mom," she smiled in return. "You know, if you were my mother-in-law, things would be so much nicer."

"Ah, but if I were your mother-in-law, I'd have had to hunt you down and kick your butt for leaving my son," Karen smiled, "And then I couldn't have let you chase your dream. See, you win some and you lose some. Besides, you are a little too much like a daughter to me to date my son. That would be ooky."

"I guess so," Haley laughed in resignation. "I didn't mean for that, I just meant in general."

"Deb doesn't hate you, Haley."

"Maybe not, but she sure resents the hell out of me."

Parking the car, Karen let out a little sigh. "Come on, let's go in the house. And let's not spend anymore time thinking about Dan or Deb, okay?"

"Sounds like a plan to me," Haley laughed, her good mood slightly dimmed by the preoccupied look on Karen's face, indicating that she was indeed still thinking of one or the other. She resolved not to think about what that look means, not now. If it went the way everything else goes, it was not good.

"See you later, man," Nathan waved to Tim as he got out of his car. Tim had tried to talk Nathan into attending some big blowout one of the guys on the team was throwing, but Nathan was pretty sure that Lucas would be there and Haley wouldn't, so he didn't see any point of bothering with that.

A part of him thought that he should go to the party; if nothing else, it would prove he had nothing to prove. He just didn't want to, though. When he saw that both his parents' cars were in the drive, he's pretty sure that want shouldn't have figured into it, and that he should've just gone regardless. Anything to avoid another night of listening to them fighting and pulling pranks usually perpetrated by the elementary-aged crowd.

"Nathan!" Deb exclaimed, running over to him the second he walked through the door. "Hi honey, oh, how are you? Do you need anything? Dinner? A sandwich? Water?"

He fought the urge to roll his eyes – all she did these days was fawn over him, and while it was nice when it was novel, it had just degraded into a farce. "I'm fine, Mom. Tim and I ran through a drive-thru on the way home."

"Oh, well, you know, that's not the most healthy food in the world, Nathan," Deb sighed, frowning lightly in consternation. "You should come home and let me cook for you."

"You don't cook, Deb," Dan reminded her snidely from behind his newspaper, "You bring home takeout and scoop it onto plates."

"Butt out, Dan!" Deb fairly screamed at him. Nathan inwardly groaned. "It's not like you do any better, is it?"

"I do my part," he shrugged, not looking at her or Nathan. Nathan shook his head, wondering if they'd even notice if he left the room.

"Good night," he mumbled under his breath, trying to make his escape.

"Going to bed now?" Dan asked skeptically.

"Leave him alone, Dan!" Deb ordered sharply. "If he wants to sleep, let him sleep. My God, do you have to criticize everything we do?"

"I was just surprised he was going to bed at 8 on a Saturday night, Deb, that's all. Not exactly crime of the century, right?"

"No, of course not," she sneered. "Those are usually perpetrated against you, with good reason. Next time someone sets you on fire, they'd be doing us a favor if they were just a little better at it, wouldn't they?"

"Mom!" Nathan interrupted, appalled at where this was going. "Just go. Don't worry about it, for once I don't think he meant anything."

"Don't defend him! Don't you dare defend him after all he's done to us!"

"I – I wasn't," Nathan sighed tiredly, looking warily between the two of them. Predictably, Deb looked a nervous wreck and Dan looked like the cat that ate the damn canary. Nathan could almost imagine a yellow feather sticking out the corner of his mouth if he closed his eyes for a minute or two.

Letting out a huff of air, Deb turned and stomped out of the room, shoving past Dan as she went. He just rolled his eyes, and Nathan tried to stop her, but she didn't even acknowledge him. "Well, there you go," Dan chuckled. "Never a dull moment around here."

"If either of you two started acting like grown ups, I think I'd die of shock," Nathan mumbled. "I can't believe you have to egg her on like that."

"What?" Dan spit out. "Oh, no, this is not to be blamed on me this time. I barely said two words to her. It's you she's upset with."

"It's not me," Nathan smirked, shaking his head at Dan's delusions. "It's you. It's always you. Why don't you just let her go, Dad? She doesn't want to be married to you, you make her miserable. She seems to make you miserable. God, we're all miserable."

"And that's my doing, I suppose," Dan noted, avoiding eye contact with his younger son. He didn't even know what to say to him anymore without it becoming an accusation or a command or worse. There was nothing he could say that wouldn't antagonize Nathan, and it was best to keep his mouth shut, if he could manage that.

"Yeah, it is your fault, Dad," Nathan ground out. "She was never a basketcase like this until you started torturing her."

"So, is it Haley's fault, for torturing you through the confines of marriage, or is it mine, too, in your case?" Dan asked with a sneer, knowing that the mention of Haley would send Nathan over the edge.

"Don't say her name again. You haven't earned the right to even talk about her!" Nathan exclaimed, unendingly defensive about Haley and their relationship, especially when it came to his father.

"Oh, get off of it," Dan sighed. "This relationship of yours is dead in the water, and you're still so messed up over this girl that you can't even hear me say her name?"

"It's not dead, Dad."

"Excuse me?" Dan asked sharply, eyeing his son now. "What does that mean?"

"It means that she's my wife, and yeah, she made some mistakes and I made some mistakes, but what we have doesn't just go away because of that."

"Nice," Dan smirked, inwardly feeling defeated by his son's proclamations. "Well, if that's how you feel, perhaps it is best if you move back out, as you are still considered emancipated. I'm not here to support the methods of procuring teenage sex that you've chosen."

"You have no clue what you're talking about," Nathan shook his head. "Where do you even get off saying that? You don't know Haley, you don't know what she's all about, and you don't know me, either."

"Fine, Nathan, have it your way. I'm just your clueless father."

"Yeah, you are that," Nathan agreed, stomping out of the room, mentally cursing both his parents for their clueless attitudes toward him.

Pulling out his phone, he was dialing her number even as he was on his way up the stairs towards his bedroom. He didn't want to analyze it, but right now, he needed to hear her voice. He needed to know she was there, thinking of him, hoping for the both of them. Fair or not, he needed that now. Badly.

"Hey, Nathan," she drawled slowly into the phone, surprise tingeing her voice. "Everything okay?"

"Yeah," he sighed, taking a deep breath. "Just wanted to see how the new job was so far."

"Oh, it was fine. No big deal," she sputtered out. "Anyway, it was nothing worth talking about, really boring."

"What?" he laughed. "It's a new job, first day. Couldn't have been that boring."

"Trust me, it was. So, what's up?"

"I thought we were talking about you," he teased. "That's why I called, after all."

"That's nice, Nathan. Thank you."

"You're welcome." He cleared his throat, pausing. "Actually, can I tell you the truth about something? About why I called?"

"I'd like that," she agreed.

"I just – I don't know, I needed to hear your voice. Dad and I got into it, just a little, and you're the only one who has ever made me feel better after that."

"What happened?" she asked softly. "What did he do now?"

Nathan chuckled lightly, feeling better. "Thank you. For just automatically assuming that it is something he did."

"Well, come on, when isn't it?" she joked. "Dan is like a Big Bad come to life, you know? When you try hard enough, I bet you can picture him sitting in a room filled with video screens with everyone in his life represented on them while he has a white cat perched on his lap and he's twirling his mustache, right?"

He full-on laughed at that, and she joined in with him. "Okay, I definitely needed a laugh like that. Thank you, Haley. I'm picturing him trapped in a net dropped on him by Scooby and the gang!"

"There's nothing to thank me for," she assured him. "You can call me anytime, you can stop by anytime, I'm always here for you. Just…know that."

"Yeah, I know. Thanks." Roughly clearing his throat, he took a deep breath. "Hales, I better go. I just wanted – you know."

"Yeah, I know. I'll see you at school on Monday, Nathan. Have a good weekend."

They hung up, and he had to admit, that just talking to her had made him feel much better about everything. There was no quick fix for them; they both knew that at this point. Maybe this was a step, or a start, in the right direction.

That was all he could ask for right then.


	5. When You Go, You're Gone Forever

**Chapter Five – ****When You Go, You're Gone Forever**

It was yet another dull, gray day, drizzly and wet, but never really raining. These were his least favorite kinds of days, when it came down to it, and it felt like this is all they've been getting lately. At least they reflected the rest of his life, though. Maybe that was the silver lining.

"Nathan, have you practiced at all in the last few days?" Dan asked, rudely barging into his room without knocking. "You don't want to get soft."

"Do you ever think about anything else?" Nathan asked snidely, not even bothering to look up from the drawer he's rifling through. "Don't you have a campaign opponent to smear today or a photo op to pose for?"

"Shockingly, I'm free of such dreary obligations," Dan smiled, waiting in the doorway for Nathan to look up. "Thought maybe we could hit the gym before I head over to the dealership for the day."

"Well, you thought wrong," he declined, rolling his eyes. "What's with you spending so much time there on the weekends and the evenings anyway?"

"Oh, campaign stuff," Dan evaded, although there was temptation to get his son's attention by telling him the truth – that Haley was there, and that he felt an obligation to show up and keep their charade going by lording over her while she worked.

"Yeah, right. Better get to it, then," Nathan told him, shaking his head. "Hate for you not pull the wool over enough people's eyes to win."

"What is your problem, Nate?" Dan asked through clenched teeth, trying his damnedest to keep control now when he knew it counted the most.

"What do you think it is?" Nathan scoffed, finally looking up at him, something akin to disbelief in his eyes. "God, are you mental? You spend the better part of my life screwing with my head, trying to turn me into you, and you have the nerve to wonder why I might have a problem with you?"

"I've only tried to make you see how hard you have to work to be the best. You do want to be the best, don't you?"

"I don't know, Dad!" Nathan exclaimed. "It's not like you've ever given me an opportunity to be anything else, right?"

"You think I like being the bad guy?"

"Yeah, why not? I mean, you are so good at it, after all," Nathan sighed, turning his back on his father again.

"I'm trying here," Dan muttered in a pained voice. "I'm trying to talk to you, and all you can do is turn your back on me?"

"Why do you think you deserve better than that?"

"I'm your father! I raised you, I've put a roof over your head, taken care of you when you were sick, got you everything you needed and wanted!"

"Yeah, well, maybe if you'd hugged me more," Nathan snarked at him, shaking his head. At this point, he just wanted Dan to leave the room; to leave him alone. "Why don't you go play papa bear to Lucas, Dad? Maybe he'd appreciate it."

"This isn't a competition between you and your brother," Dan sighed. "I'm not doing this because things have gotten bad between me and him. You're both my sons, and I want relationships with both of you."

"Did you read that off a greeting card?" Nathan asked, looking up at him.

"Jesus, Nate, do you have to be so flippant about this? I'm trying to talk to you, and you can't even be serious!" Dan yelled, slamming his fist into the wall. "If this is because of that girl, I'll – "

"You'll what?" Nathan laughed. "There is nothing you can do, and we both know that. It's killing you, though, isn't it? Not being able to control, not being able to stand over me, Mom, Luke, Haley and play puppet master, isn't it? That's your favorite hobby. You and I both know that."

"You don't know anything," Dan said tiredly, rubbing the tips of his fingers over his suddenly aching temples. "Look, Nathan, is it so shocking that I'd come in here just to see you? To talk to you?"

Nathan stared at him, shock coloring his expression until he slowly shook his head. "Yeah, it's about the hardest thing you could ask me to believe. Fuck, Dad," he sneered, "If you'd told me that there were purple cows flying outside the window now, I'd be more inclined to believe that."

"Nathan!" Dan snapped. "This is my house, and you can show some damn respect while you're in it!"

"I'm old enough to know that respect isn't given freely, it's something people earn. So don't throw that at me."

"I'm your father, without me, you'd be nothing! You wouldn't exist, Nathan!"

"That doesn't give you carte blanche respect, Dad! You undermine everything in my life – me, Mom, Haley, Lucas, my relationships with all of them. It's like my life is your personal playground to come in and mess around with. Like we're dolls or something that you can move around and pose to suit your mood," Nathan bit out. "But it doesn't work that way. I don't work that way. Life doesn't work that way."

"What do you know about life? You're just a kid, Nathan. And I'm your father, and I want us to be able to talk."

"Yeah, I think we passed that point a long time ago, Dad."

"Nathan, I want us to get our relationship back on track; I want us to be like we used to be."

"We don't have a relationship," Nathan said plainly, looking him in the eye. "You trying to dictate my life isn't a relationship. Me blindly following your orders, again, not a relationship. You yelling at me or Mom for ever questioning you, again, not a relationship."

"You're saying 'no', not even going to give me a chance on this? A chance to make it up to you and Lucas?"

"Oh, to Luke now, too? Wow, that one is really rich, Dad. And hey, if you think I'm disinterested, wait till you talk to him!" Nathan grinned sardonically, almost relishing the idea of Luke putting their father back in his place. And who could blame him, if Dan worked up the nerve to go to him with this crap.

"Okay," Dan sighed, knowing he was not going to get anywhere with Nathan now. "We'll talk about this again later. Look, I know you don't trust me, and you have reason not to, but just know that this time, it's different."

He didn't wait for Nathan to respond one way or the other, just turned on his heels and left, jogging down the stairs. To his irritation, Deb was in the foyer, hands on her hips, glaring at him.

"What now, Deb?" he asked, no bite behind the words.

"I just wanted to let you know that I won't be able to make it to the dinner tonight," she said with a smirk. "I've got better things to do than play trophy wife at a party celebrating your pathetic mayoral aspirations."

"Not that you're that great of a prize," he muttered under his breath, smiling silkily at her before saying, in a louder voice. "That's fine, Deb. In fact, maybe we should go ahead with the divorce now, after all."

"Excuse me?" she sputtered, eyeing him skeptically. "Did you buy something from that taco stand at the gas station? I told you after the last time, those aren't good for you, Dan."

"Knock it off, Deb," he sighed, suddenly unsure of himself. It seemed like such a good idea two sentences ago, but now he didn't know what the hell he was thinking. "This – this sham is taking its toll on all of us. Maybe we should just end it now."

"End it," she repeated, dumbfounded. "Just…just like that, you want to end it? After everything, after blackmailing me to stick with you for this? Now you want to end it? Forgive me for thinking of you as a manipulative liar, Dan, but I'm having a hard time understanding this alleged change of heart."

"I'm sure your difficulty grasping concepts is due to the self-tanner and hair dye seeping into your bloodstream through your skin, but that's sort of irrelevant right now," he told her. "The point is, I don't want to be married to you anymore." The words were coming out of his mouth, and he recognized that they were true, but he was not sure when they became true. A part of him had thought that holding onto Deb was necessary, that maybe they did belong together.

He just couldn't force himself to think like that anymore. He was miserable, Deb was clearly miserable, and Nathan hated him and resented Deb. It just didn't seem worth it to him anymore. Holding on wasn't doing any of them any good, and when he was honest with himself, he knew that not only was this not what Deb wanted, but it wasn't what he wanted, either.

"Get the papers. I'll sign them."

Shaking herself out of her shock, she practically dashed for the kitchen to get the papers out of the utility drawer. She was back before he could even blink, he noted with a curious mix of irritation and amusement. "There, there they are. Sign them, Dan."

Nodding grimly, he took the pen, signing his name with a flourish on the flagged pages. "Well, I guess I won't be seeing you much now," he noted, surprised at the tightening of his throat. "I'll have movers come to pack up my things. The only thing is, if Nathan refuses to come to the beach house, I'm coming here to visit him. I will repair my relationships with my sons, Deb."

She stared blankly at the signature on the last page before looking up at him. "You didn't even read over the terms, Dan."

"I did when you first sent them," he countered. "I know what's in them, Deb; you get this house, your car, your bank account, and I get mine. It's fine, it doesn't really matter."

"Why?" she asked, the lone word reverberating in the empty foyer.

"Why what? Why now?" he asked, nodding when she shrugged noncommittally. "I don't know. I want to fix things with Nathan, and it will never happen here, not like this. Not with things the way they are between us. And unfortunately, you and I are beyond fixing."

"Yes, we are," she agreed quietly, a bittersweet smile gracing her lips, and he couldn't help but think of better times. "That's surprisingly mature of you, Dan. This is really about Nathan?"

"In a way," he confirmed. "Both of my kids hate me. It shouldn't be like that; I don't want it to be like that."

"Quite the epiphany," she remarked dryly. "Were you in some sort of accident that altered your mental status?"

"Be serious, Deb," he bit back with more heat than either of them have employed since he said he'd sign the papers.

"I'm sorry," she apologized, sighing. "This is just really unexpected. All of it. And well, old habits die hard, don't they?"

"Me wanting to have decent relationships with my sons is unexpected?" Dan questioned. "I might not always go about things in the best way, but it should be obvious how important they are to me."

"Nathan, maybe," Deb conceded. "In your warped ways, I suppose you have demonstrated a need for him to have and be the best. Lucas is another story."

"Well, that's what I'm trying to fix now."

She stared hard at him, as if trying to gauge his sincerity. "Well, then," she nodded as he turns to leave. "Good luck, Dan. I – I don't know what to say."

Turning back to her, he smiled slightly, without malice or mocking for the first time in a long while, she noted. "Eighteen years," he sighed. "That's a long time. For what it's worth, I'm sorry for my mistakes."

"And I'm sorry for mine," she whispered as he walked out the door, shutting it firmly behind him.

Unnoticed by either of them, Nathan stood at the top of the stairs, looking down at them, watching their goodbye. He was too surprised to move; this was the last thing he ever expected to see from either of his parents. He watched his father walk out of the door, and he watched his mother sigh before turning and walking into the kitchen where he could hear her begin to talk on the phone.

This was what he's wanted, for both himself and his mother. This was a good thing, he tried to assure himself. So why did it feel so weird?

By Monday morning, the new schedule of starting work at the crack of dawn on the weekends had caught up and was taking its toll as she fought sleep during her first period math class. Luckily, she shared the class with Luke, and he was there with a 'friendly' elbow whenever he noticed her dozing off.

"What's wrong with you?" he asked as they walk out of class. "What does that new job have you doing, running marathons?"

"I'm fine," she muttered around a yawn, not wanting to get into the job thing again. "Just adjusting to a new schedule, that's all."

Looping an arm over her shoulders, he pulled her down the hall. "Well, come on, Sleeping Beauty, you'd better wake up before English. You know Mrs. Edson."

"Yeah, yeah," Haley sighed, leaning her head on his shoulder. "So, what's going on with you?"

"Just school, Hales," he shrugged, releasing her with a playful shove. "Why do you ask?"

Sighing, she pasted a smile on her face. "Because you're my friend. Because I like knowing what's going on with you. Because you've been really weird in a false happy kind of way like maybe you're hiding something."

Staring at her for a minute, he shook his head. "How do you do that?" he complained. "I thought I was projecting 'everything is fine' pretty well. Mom didn't question me."

"Oh, I'm just wise like that, Luke-san, you'd do well to remember," she teased. "Come on, tell me before class starts."

"You're killing me here, master," he rolled his eyes. "Look, this isn't something we can get into now, but I – I'll tell you at lunch. I promise," he assured her when she started glaring. "Haley, I will."

"Okay, you better. I'm holding you to that, and if you try and weasel out, I'll make you miserable like you wouldn't believe," she threatened, giving him a one armed hug before turning and ducking into her classroom.

"Great," he called half-heartedly as she hurried away. She turned and watched him go, crossing her fingers that what he had to tell her was that Dan approached him about paying for his healthcare. Of course, it could be that Dan showed up and picked a fight or something, but she was really hoping for the former.

Time passed slowly until lunch, and she hurriedly shoved her things into her locker, waiting there impatiently for Luke. For the first time ever, she's convinced it was unfortunate that Nathan found her first. She was glad to see him, and she was even happier to see the big smile on his face, reserved solely for her, but right now, she needed to talk to Luke.

"Hey!" she greeted him, a giddy feeling spreading through her as his smile widened in response. "What's going on, Nathan?"

Pulling her into a hug, he didn't say anything at first. When he released her, she stared up at him in surprise. "My dad signed the divorce papers."

"What?" Haley gasped in shock. "Are you kidding me?"

"Nope, not even a little," he continued to grin. "I tried calling you yesterday, but Brooke said you were at work. She also, er, said you hadn't stayed there since Thursday night."

"Oh, yeah, that, Karen insisted I stay with them," Haley explained hurriedly. "Oh, my gosh, I can't believe that Dan Scott signed divorce papers. Willingly? Really?"

"Yeah, really," he laughed. "His stuff is being moved out today, my mom said. He's staying at the beach house. I – I won't have to see him anymore."

"Oh, Nathan – this is so good. For you and your mom, this is really good. I'm happy for you!"

"Thanks, Hales. This is a good thing, especially for my mom."

"How's she doing with all of this?" Haley asked quietly. "She must've been surprised when he agreed, huh?"

"She's relieved, of course," he sighed. "But I do think on some level, she's hurt he agreed to it."

"Maybe she's just more upset that they couldn't work it out," she suggested gently. "I mean, they were married for what, eighteen years? That's a long time, Nathan."

"Yeah," he sighed. "Yeah, I know. It's just, after all the crap he's pulled, and hey, even all the crap that she's pulled, don't you think that it'd be strictly relief?"

"I don't know, Nathan," she shrugged. "Just don't be too hard on her if she doesn't conform to what you expect her to do with all this."

"What's that supposed to mean?" he asked, a defensive edge creeping into his voice.

"It's just a suggestion," she sighed, trying to smile a little for his sake. "Let her grieve for her marriage, even if said marriage really wasn't a good thing."

"Do – do you grieve for us?"

"No!" she exclaimed loudly without thinking. "God, if I gave in and did that, don't you know that would mean I had no more hope? And I have so much hope for us, Nathan!"

He opened his mouth to reply, but snapped it shut with an audible 'click' when Lucas sidled up alongside them. "Uh, hey," Luke offered tentatively. "We can meet after practice if you want, Hales."

Sighing she shook her head. "Can't, work. Look, give me a minute and I'll meet you outside, okay?" He nodded and took off, casting one worried look over his shoulder at the two before going. Looking back up at Nathan, she smiled apologetically. "I'm sorry, Nathan, but I promised him I'd talk. I think something is going on with him, and I'm worried."

"Yeah, fine," Nathan sighed, not bothering to hide his irritation with it. "Go ahead and go see Luke instead of your husband. That's…that's really great, Hales."

"Nathan, I'm so sorry!" she exclaimed. "You know how it is! Look, I work until nine, but maybe after that I could come over and we could study together?"

Shaking his head, he smirked at her. "What's that? A pity study? No thanks."

"Of course it's nothing like that! I want to be with you, Nathan, as much as possible," she whispered urgently. "I want to be with you now, even, but he's my friend, and I have plans. And if we're going to regress to the point where either of you try and make me 'choose', I won't be happy. And I won't play those games."

She turned to go find Luke as promised, but he grabbed her arm, stopping. "You're right," he admitted. "I'm sorry. I'm being a jerk. Nothing new there, right?"

"Don't worry about it, Nathan, no big deal," she smiled dismissively. "I know you have a lot on your mind right now."

"Yeah," he sighed. "Call me when you're finished working, I can pick you up and we can go out. I promise I'll do all my homework before that, just like a good little boy."

She laughed at that, laying a hand on his arm. "Let's meet for pizza. My treat."

"Yeah, okay," he agreed, smiling down at her. "I'd like that, Hales."

"Me, too," she smiled, squeezing his arm before turning to go. "I'll see you a little after ten, then?"

"Definitely," he called after her, smirking at the giddy little skip she did as she disappeared around the corner. Allowing himself a small smile, he murmured, "At least I get the nights."

"He actually said that?" Haley gaped, her sandwich falling out of her limp grasp. "Dan. Dan Scott. He said that?"

"Yeah," Luke insisted, smiling a little at her disbelief, "Said he wanted to repair our relationship, and he wanted to start by paying for my doctors and meds. Can you believe that bastard thinks he can buy me?"

"That is so great, Luke!" she enthused, her face falling when the rest of his statement caught up with her mouth. "Wait. You said 'no', didn't you?"

"What else would I say?" he asked, eyeing her.

"Luuuuke!" she drawled out in a whine, her head crashing down to rest on the table briefly. Lifting it up to look at him, she fixed him a glare. "You aren't that stupid, are you?"

"Haley, I don't know how to say this," he said with mock gravity, "But I'm beginning to think maybe it's your IQ we should be worrying about." At her glare, he threw his hands up in surrender. "Fine, sorry. But come on, it's Dan. My father, the guy who never cared about me anymore than to ignore me most of my life, and completely mock and denigrate me the rest of it."

"Yeah, and guess what?" she snapped peevishly. "I don't care about that, Luke! I really don't. What I care about is you, and you need what he's offering!"

Shaking his head, he glared at her in denial. "No. No, I'm not taking anything from him. It would come at a price, and while I don't know what that price is, I'm not willing to do that again."

"Did he ask for anything? Did he make demands, tell you that these things would come in exchange for something, blackmail you?" Taking his silence for confirmation that Dan didn't do any of those things, she sighed. "Luke, I know you don't want his help, I know that. And I get it, too, believe me. The thing is, this is more important than that."

"I'm doing fine," he muttered, avoiding her gaze. "Everything is fine."

"God, you don't even get it at all, do you?"

"Get what? That you're inexplicably trying to force me into something with Dan? Into taking something from him? Hales, he's the boogeyman your dad always used to warn us about. He's the evil monster that hides under the bed!" he exclaimed. "Only an idiot or a newborn baby would be ignorant enough to enter into an alliance with him."

She cringed at that, the remark hitting way too close to home. "I know you don't want to do this, and I really don't blame you. It's just, Luke, your life is more important than avoiding Dan." At his skeptical look, she plowed on. "It is! God, what is wrong with you? Would you rather that you have to keep stealing cash from the register at your mom's restaurant to pay for your meds? Would you rather die because you can't afford to see a doctor? That is so stupid!"

"Hey, I'm not going to – "

"You don't know that!" she yelled, attracting the stares of other students sitting outside. "You don't know that, you can't know that!"

"Hales, shut up," he whispered urgently. "Come on, I don't want everyone knowing my business."

"Maybe they should," she sighed, calming down a little. "I'm just worried about you, I'm really freaking worried about you, and from what I can tell, you don't even care."

"I care, of course I care! It's just, what can I do about it? I'm not taking Dan's charity, no matter how many times he promises there are no strings attached."

"Luke, think about it. Please, just look at this logically. Is having dinner with Dan once a week really such a high price to pay for living a healthy life? Not from where I'm standing, it sure isn't," she pleaded, tears prickling at her eyes. "Please don't brush this offer off."

"I can't put myself in that position," he groaned, his head dropping to rest on his arms. "It's too hard. I tried, last year while you were gone. I did, Hales, I thought maybe he and I could have something, some kind of relationship."

Reaching out and grabbing his hands, she clutched them tightly. "Luke. Don't do it for him, do it for yourself. Do it for me, for Keith. Luke, do it for your mom!"

"Don't bring her into this," he ordered gruffly, still not looking up at her. "Come on, Hales, don't do this to me. Don't pull out the big guns."

"I'm sorry," she lied, not sorry at all if this helps him, but the guilt was still creeping in the edges. "But I have to. If you won't tell her the truth about this, and let her help you, then I refuse to stand idly by and not force you to help yourself."

"You don't know what you're asking," he muttered, finally raising his head. "You have no idea what this would cost me."

She wanted to argue that she did, that she knew exactly what Dan could take from a person, but she kept her mouth shut on that. "Maybe it doesn't matter. No, not maybe, it doesn't matter, Luke. You have to take care of yourself, and it sounds to me that Dan is offering that to you. You can't turn that down."

"There has to be another way," he insisted, but she thought it was more to himself than her at this point. "There must be."

"What? What is it? Because you and I both know that the way you're going now, it isn't smart. You aren't getting the care you need, and that's not okay," she reasoned.

"I know," he admitted, looking down at the table. "I just don't want…it shouldn't be this way. It shouldn't be so hard to even accept something this basic from him, Hales. How can he make me feel this way?"

"Don't let him," she hissed angrily. "Don't you dare let him make you feel anything. Just take what he's offering, and if he wants a dinner or two, then do it. That's worth it, Luke, it really is. I promise you, it's worth it."

"I know," Luke sighed. "I know that. Maybe that's why it sucks so bad, because I know that it is what I have to do, and I just hate that he's the one who can do it for me."

She bit her tongue, driving away the temptation to insist that if he'd just told his mother, then maybe Dan wouldn't be his only option. Given his state of mind, she'd really hate to see his reaction if she brought that up.

"That means you'll accept, right?" she prodded gently. "I'm sorry that this is what it has come down to for you, but Luke…you have to do it. If you don't, then I have to tell your mom. It's bad enough that she doesn't know, that I have to lie to her every time I see her, but if you aren't getting the proper care, then she has to know."

He shook his head, his face clouding over in anger and panic and fear. "You don't have to tell her. I – I'll talk to Dan tonight, I guess." Shaking his head, he sighed. "Said he'd stop by to watch practice. Gee, it's almost like he cares."

She couldn't argue with that because no matter what Dan said and what she thought she saw on his face sometimes, what he'd done to both Nathan and Luke showed that maybe he really didn't care. Actions still spoke louder than words. "Don't let that matter, Luke."

"How can it not matter?" Luke asked rhetorically. "He's already there, like on my shoulder or something. When I do something well, I can see him ignoring me or belittling it. When I mess up, it's like he's there, mocking me for it. He's this ghost that is always with me, and now he's getting in here and taking on a corporeal form. I don't know if I can deal with that."

"Well, you don't have to deal with it alone," she assured him. "I'll help in any way I can. You know that."

"You don't have to," he sighed. "You deal with Dan enough, I'm sure you don't want to hear about him from me."

"Oh, come on, I think that puts me in the perfect position to enjoy a little Dan-bashing or Dan-gossip," she laughed before turning serious. "You know, Nathan would appreciate it, too. Maybe you should tell him, or let me tell him."

"No. No way," Luke said flatly. "I don't want him feeling sorry for me, Haley. Sorry, but no. He hates me now, and that's fine. At least he's making the decision without feeling emotionally blackmailed by some stupid heart condition."

"It wouldn't be like that, and you know it," she countered. "I really don't get either of you. After all the progress you both made, you let the person both of you distrust the most tear you apart. So stupid, Luke. Really stupid."

"Thanks, because I didn't get the irony," he muttered, glaring at her until she laughed. "And now it's a joke."

"Oh, lighten up," Haley scolded him lightly. "Now come on, how are things with Brooke?"

"Hell on earth," he frowned. "Maybe I'm wrong to try and pursue something with her."

"She's, er, seemed not pleased with you the last few times I've seen her," Haley admitted, looking away. "What did you do – wait, let me rephrase: what does she perceive you to have done now?"

"Oh, it's my fault Peyton still has feelings for me, and it's my fault that Brooke can't deal with that and it is ruining their friendship. What the hell am I supposed to do about it, right?" he sighed. "I can't control Peyton's feelings, and I can't make Brooke accept it, either."

Haley stifled a giggle at that, looking down as she tapped her nails on her pop can. "Don't worry, I wouldn't ever try and give you relationship advice, which is good considering what a mess I've made of my own, but maybe the two of you are just not in the same place."

"Obviously," he snorted. "The thing is, I'm beginning to think we never will be."

"You don't know that," Haley tried, not sure what else to say to him. "Maybe things will get better. Brooke will come around, she always does."

"I'm beginning to think it doesn't matter," Luke half-smiled. "I just don't think that it's worth it, for either of us."

Haley sighed, taking in his forlorn expression. "Love is a bitch, Luke. But fighting for it isn't a bad thing, just a hard thing."

"Maybe it isn't love, though," he decided. "If it were, things would be different. I'd feel different."

"If you don't feel it, that's one thing. But if you want to give up because you aren't getting your way, that, my friend, kind of sucks."

"It isn't about that," he assured her. "This is more, I don't know. There's so much going on with all of us right now, and if I'm dealing with Dan and doctors and you nagging me all the time, maybe Brooke doesn't fit in that equation."

"Hey, Luke, don't shut her out of your life. That's not fair to either of you, no matter the reason. At least be honest with her."

"I won't," he promised, smiling faintly. "But for now, I just have too much going on to fairly pursue a relationship with her. With anyone."

"Okay," Haley nodded, a little skeptical. Skeptical that he'd break it off with Brooke, skeptical that he'd really agree to take Dan's help. Nervous, above everything else.

"Are you going to eat that sandwich?" he asked, eyeing it hungrily.

"No, go ahead," she offered, rolling her eyes. "Not that you already inhaled your own or anything."

"I'm a growing boy," he insisted. "Have to keep my energy up for the growing process."

"Too bad your brain isn't growing, too," she sighed with mock gravity. "That really is a tragedy of epic proportions."

"Hey now!"

She laughed with him before turning serious again. "Luke? Thanks. I mean, for agreeing to accept Dan's help. I hate threatening you with telling your mom – almost as much as I hate that you won't tell her – but I'm just really worried about you."

"I know," he smiled, reaching out to pat her hand. "It's okay. Maybe not okay, but don't worry about it. We all do what we have to, right?"

"Yeah, I guess so," she sighed.

"Speaking of, how are things with Nathan?" he asked carefully, well aware that things with Nathan could be fine one day and crap the next. Volatile might be the perfect word to describe his half-brother. "Ah, Dan told me that he signed divorce papers. Why he thought I should know, I'm still not sure, but he told me."

"Nathan told me that just now. He's sort of mad that I ate lunch with you and not him."

"You could've gone and sat with him, Hales, I would've understood. It isn't like I haven't eaten lunch alone before," he reasoned.

"That wasn't it," she smileed. "You're my friend, and I'm not going to let either of you put me in the middle of whatever petty disagreements you're having this year. I don't care if it pisses one or both of you off, but that's the way it is."

"Fair enough," Luke laughed. "How was he taking the news?"

"Actually? I think he was pretty relieved. It's no secret that things in that house have been rough for a long time now, and knowing that the biggest source of conflict wouldn't be there with them was sort of a weight of his shoulders," she guessed. "It sounded like Deb was having a harder time than him, and that was the only thing about that bothered him."

"I'm glad he's okay with it," Luke admitted. "It's a tough situation. I remember when it became obvious that my mom and Keith would never work. They never even started, and it still hurt, you know? I can only imagine it would be a thousand times worse if they had been together all along, and then ended things."

"Well, with the tension in that house, and the way Dan picks at both of them, I can't imagine this being anything short of wonderful, you know?" she reasoned.

"Absolutely."

The bell rings, and they both groaned. Rolling her eyes, Haley laughed. "Well, I guess that's our cue to drop the heavy conversation, huh?"

"Must be," he nodded, gathering his things up. "See you sixth period."

"Yep, have fun!"

They part ways, Haley heading back towards her locker, pleasantly surprised to see Nathan waiting there for her. He smiled slightly at her as she approaches, taking her books from her as she starts working the lock.

"Hi," she greeted softly, reaching up to pick a piece of lint off his shirt, blushing when she realizes what she was doing. "God, I'm sorry. I feel like a monkey, picking ticks off of her mate. I saw this special on Animal Planet a few days ago about that very thing, and there I go, doing it. And I thought it was so weird at the time, like why would you do that, right? If your mate can't pick their own ticks, then maybe they shouldn't be your mate. But then, maybe they just didn't notice the tick, so they needed a hand, and – "

Her monologue was interrupted when he started laughing like crazy, leaning down to kiss her on the cheek before setting her things in her locker and turning to walk down the hall without even saying a word.

"Great, now I'm a freak that inspires hysterical laughing," she muttered to herself, her hand touching her cheek where his lips had. Looking up and catching the stares of a few classmates, she growled, "Oh, what are you looking at?"

Sure enough, Dan showed at practice that afternoon, setting Haley, Nathan, Luke and Whitey all on edge at the mere sight of him. Nathan was pissed because he figured Dan was there to harass him, Haley was uncomfortable with the thought that he might say something to her, Luke was not looking forward to talking with him after practice, and Whitey just hated him.

"Okay, that's a wrap, boys!" Whitey called out at about the same time Brooke was fighting with Rachel over who got to dismiss the cheerleaders. Haley rolled her eyes at Bevin as the squabbling pair walked out of the gym, still sniping at each other. She settled on the floor, ostensibly to stretch out, but more to stay and keep an eye on Dan, ready to intervene if he went after either son.

As she was sitting there, Nathan came over, plopping down beside her. "Hey," he smiled, receiving a big smile in return. "What do you think he's doing here? He hasn't even said a word beyond 'hi' to me."

She shrugged, glancing over towards Dan. "Maybe he's here to chew Whitey out about your playing time?"

"Yeah, maybe," Nathan laughed, watching as Whitey approached Dan, smirk firmly pasted on.

"It's like two male elk locking horns," Haley commented as they start to argue, getting right in each other's face.

"Animal Planet again?" Nathan asked, bemused.

"No, Discovery Channel," she blushed.

"So," he murmured, not really sure what else to say. A part of him was relieved he mentioned, in his own roundabout way, what happened in the hallway after lunch, but mostly he was just dreading her pressing him on the matter.

"So?" she smiled, sighing inwardly when she realized he wasn't going to say anything else. "Well, anyway, maybe he just came to watch. Despite everything, he does love the game."

"Yeah, he loves the game, when he thinks he can get some glory out of it. And since his only way of getting glory now would be from me, that would be why he's here," he sighed, frowning as Dan walked away from Whitey, taking a seat on the bleachers. "What's he doing?"

Haley opened her mouth to answer, snapping it shut when Luke walked out, warily approaching Dan, taking a seat next to him. "Um, I guess…he's talking to Luke?"

She hated that she was in this position where she knew more than everyone else, where she had effectively joined Dan in becoming some sort of creepy Machiavellian puppet master over her friends and family, but there wasn't anything she could do. But lying, to her husband, was about the worst thing she could imagine.

"That's – that's weird, right?" Nathan sputtered, confusion on his face as he watched the two talk. "I thought they weren't speaking at all these days, what the hell is that about? Why is Dad talking to him?"

"I don't know," Haley said quietly. "I'm sure it's no big deal, Nathan."

"How could it not be a big deal?" he countered. "They have nothing to talk about. They have no relationship. This doesn't even make sense."

"Luke is his son, too," she pointed out, again in a quiet voice. "Maybe both of them have trouble admitting that, but it is still there."

"I – well, yeah, fine."

"Nathan, what's wrong? Are you upset that Dan is here talking to Luke instead of you?" she asked. "Because I thought you'd be relieved about that. I know I would!"

He smiled at the last parting before sighing. "He's – I don't know, Hales. He's my father. He was always mine, even though he was almost always a controlling jerk."

"I don't think you have anything to be jealous of," Haley pointed out. "That looks about as comfortable as wearing sheet metal underwear."

"Now there's an image," he joked, focusing more of his attention on her. "Hey, about what happened, after lunch, I mean. I'm sorry I just ran off like that. It, I don't know, I surprised myself."

"It's okay," she absolved him immediately. "I kinda figured it was something like that."

"It was – nice. It was nice, Hales."

"Yeah, it was," she agreed, blushing. "Um, personally embarrassing, but you were nice. Even if you were laughing at me."

"And here I thought that I was laughing with you!" he countered, smirking. "Crap, I'd better go. I'm working tonight."

"Me, too," she sighed dramatically. "My new boss? A total drag. I don't think being late would endear me much."

He grinned at her as he held his hands out to pull her up off the floor. "Don't let him mess with you, or else I'll have to pay him a visit," he winked before jogging off to the locker room.

"Does he not say goodbye anymore?" she sighed, groaning when she saw Dan moving to intercept her. "Well, hi, Dan!" she greeted with her usual sarcastic cheer reserved just for him. "Your appearance here just really made the evening for everyone."

"Go get changed for work," he hissed. "I'm giving you a ride."

She let out a shocked bark of laugh at that, shaking her head. "No. No way, it's not far, I can walk there."

"Don't argue with me," he warned her. "I'll make a scene, and I'm pretty sure that's the last thing you want."

Looking around, she saw that both Nathan and Luke were watching, and she knew he was right. "Fine, but I'm not getting in a car with you until both of them are gone."

"Fair enough. I'll be in the car," Dan nodded, turning and striding toward the gym doors. She made a show of rolling her eyes for the boys' – her boys – benefit before heading into the locker room.

When she finished changing, after dallying an appropriate amount of time to make sure Luke and Nathan would both be gone, she headed out of the gym. The whole way to Dan's car, she wondered how she ever let her life get this crazy. Heck, how she practically went out of her way to ensure that nothing would ever be normal again. While she knew that she had achieved her objective, and that Lucas would be getting the medical attention he needed now, she would still be walking the tightrope created by her actions for a long time to come.

And that scared her.


	6. The Devil You Know

Note: This is the start of the new content (on this site). Hope you enjoy!

**Chapter Six – ****The Devil You Know**

Haley was humming to herself as she wiped out the last drawer of the last file cabinet, finally completing the mega-task that Dan had unloaded on her when she started. It only took a week, but she was sure it had to be one of the longest, most tedious weeks of her life. Happily, the only thing left to do was call the document specialist company that would come and shred the papers for them.

Practically skipping, she headed out towards the showroom to find Agnes, and tell her about her accomplishments. She knew the older woman was going to be thrilled, as Dan had conned her into working extra hours in the evenings and on the weekends until Haley was free to take over the reception duties for her.

"Agnes! I finished," she grinned, laughing when Agnes let out a whoop of joy, hurriedly grabbing her purse from under the counter.

"Young lady, you are now on your own then," Agnes smiled. "I'm just going to check out with Mr. Scott, then I am off to the dance hall."

"The dance hall?" Haley echoed, bemused.

"Yes, that's right, this old bod can still move!"

"I don't doubt it for a second," Haley giggled, laughing again as Agnes threw out a few dance steps as she made her way towards the offices. She emerged a few minutes later, not even stopping to say goodbye to anyone, just waving over her shoulder as she headed for the exit. "Talk about leaving in a hurry," Haley muttered to herself as she flipped through some of the unfinished paperwork left by Agnes, "And now I can see why."

She'd left a whole stack of papers that needed to be taken to and signed by Dan. Haley had been hoping to avoid him for most of the day, as he'd come in grumbling about working on a few speeches for his campaign, and that he didn't want to be disturbed. Of course, that was no skin off her nose, but now it would be a no go.

Heaving a huge sigh, she asked one of the salesmen to cover the desk for her if necessary, and gathered up the papers and slowly trudged down the hall to his office. They'd barely spoke since Monday when he drove her here after practice, which has more than suited her. She never knew quite what to say to him unless it was a criticism of how he treated Nathan and Lucas, or for that matter, Deb and Karen.

News of his divorce from Deb spread quickly. When Karen had given her a ride home after Wednesday's game, she'd told her about how happy and relieved Deb was, even though there was a part of her that felt as though she'd failed. Several of her new co-workers had mentioned, in front of her, apparently not knowing that she was his daughter-in-law, that they'd never seen their boss as relaxed as he had been since the divorce was announced.

She tapped on the open door, waiting for him to look up and motion her in. "Agnes left some papers sitting on her desk that need to be signed," she said to explain her presence. "They'll need to go out in tomorrow's mail, so I thought you'd want them now."

"Thanks," he nodded, looking back down at what he's working on. "You can leave them here on the desk."

"Okay," she agreed, setting them down. She'd been a little freaked out about how quiet he'd been all week, but this is the first time she'd had to seek him out for something, and that he still hadn't said anything? Was really starting to make her paranoid.

There were a few things she wanted to ask him about, like whether or not he was definitely going to follow through on what he'd agreed to with Lucas, which was covering all his medical necessities in exchange for dinner together twice a week. Luke was still pissed about that, but there wasn't much he could do except say yes, unless he wanted to chance Haley telling Karen the truth.

"Was there something else?" he asked, not bothering to look up, when she lingered in the doorway.

"Oh. Well, no, not really," she stammered, turning to go.

"Come on, if you have some other problem or problems with how I'm doing things, why don't you just go ahead and get it off your chest, Haley?" he sneered. "It's not like you've ever had the courtesy to bite your tongue before. I hardly see a reason to start now."

"I – I was just wondering if things are going okay with Luke," she muttered, blushing furiously. She'd held her own for the most part against him so far, but times like this, she still felt dreadfully out of her league.

"Why don't you ask him?" he retorted, again not bothering to look up from his paperwork. "I'm sure the answer he'd give you would be much more interesting than what I have."

"I have asked him," she said, steeling herself for whatever nasty response he has to throw her way. "And now I just wanted to know what you thought about it. Sorry I asked."

"He doesn't talk," Dan said after a moment. "No matter what I say, he doesn't respond. Granted, it gives me the opportunity to say whatever I want to him, but it's like talking to a stone statue. Not so great."

She nodded thoughtfully, trying to come up with an appropriate response to that. "He doesn't know what to say, I guess. And he's waiting for the other shoe to drop, you know," she reasons, looking at him expectantly.

"What does that mean?"

"That he's afraid you're going to ask for more from him. That you'll hold this over his head, and demand something from him." She looked him in the eye. "It's not that unreasonable on his part, if you think about it."

Dan nodded thoughtfully, appearing to think it over before his face hardened and he looked up at her with a sneer. "And you're pretending to care, why?"

"I – never mind," she sighed, smirking sardonically. "I should know better than to bother with someone like you."

"He's supposed to be your friend, right? So wouldn't want for him the things that would be in his best interests?" Dan asked, eyeing her as she inched backwards.

"What do you think this is? I'm not here for fun, and you know it. Of course I have his best interests in mind, and that's exactly why I'm so wary of you."

"I'm his father, Miss James, and I think you would do well to remember that," he warned her again. "You'd do well to remember that in regards to Luke and Nate."

"And you'd do even better, wouldn't you? You have no clue what a father is, Dan! You don't treat them like they're your sons, ever, and it still surprises you that neither of them trust you or want anything to do with you! How dense can you be?" she retorted, glaring at him.

"I've told you this before, but apparently your learning curve is particularly steep: you don't know anything about how I feel about my sons, and you should stay out of it. No one needs to hear your opinions on the matter. No one needs to have you pushing your ideas and prejudices off on them. This is my family, and you don't need to interfere in it," he ordered.

"See, there's a really fundamental problem with all of this," she was quick to point out. "Technically, I am your family, too. And you know, Luke would claim me over you in a heartbeat, and we both know that. And what really kills you, what you really dread, is knowing that Nathan already has. Several times. So why don't you give up this stupid, worthless stance where you treat me like I have no place or bearing in their lives?"

He was quiet in a way that set her teeth on edge, but she stood her ground, waiting for his response. "You'll never tire of throwing that in my face."

"If I tell you it isn't about that, would you believe me?" she asked, shaking her head. "Of course not, so why bother?"

"I'd almost believe you, but you just seem to get so much pleasure of putting me in what you perceive as my place. And you really don't need to bother denying that, we both know the truth."

She managed to laugh at that. "You wouldn't know a truth if it jumped up and bit you in the ass! Who do you think you're kidding here?"

"The high and mighty act is very unappealing," he informed her stiffly, and she knew he'd caught on and realized he didn't have a leg to stand on in this argument. "Why don't you go do some work now?"

Nodding, she turned to go, stopping herself abruptly. Turning back to him, she met his questioning gaze. "Thanks, for following through with Luke. Just so you know, he had his first appointment last night. The doctor was concerned that he had been untreated all this time, but luckily didn't find anything abnormal or worrisome on the tests they ran."

He raised his eyebrows, too surprised that she was sharing this information with him to immediately form a reply. It took a second, but the relief – a surprisingly strong sense of relief – coursed through him. He was happy the kid was okay. "Thank you, for telling me that. I don't expect Luke would have."

"Probably not," Haley conceded, looking down at her hands. "But you have a right to know. And I know it's weird, but since he won't tell Karen about any of this, there should be at least one adult who knows how he's doing with all this."

"Yeah," Dan nodded thoughtfully, gazing down at his desk as he thought of his older son. "Alright, well, I – you should go do your work," he told her gruffly, trying to clear the emotions out of his voice, knowing he'd failed when he caught her knowing look. "Great," he muttered to himself as she turned to go, "Just great."

"You look really pretty tonight, Haley," his voice came from behind her.

A wide grin on her face, she turned to beam up at him. "Nathan! Aren't you supposed to be warming up with the team right now? I can't imagine Whitey would have anything good to say if he saw you here!"

"Yeah, the, uh, ball slipped," he winked, bending down to pick up the ball that was sure enough at her feet. "Can I help it that it slipped right on over here where I'd have to stop and say hi to you?"

The heat in her cheeks took her by surprise, still not used to receiving compliments or flirting from him again yet. It was sweet and comforting and the tiniest bits scary and overwhelming, but she did love and cherish every second of it. After being on the receiving end of his temper so often, she had to admit that this was the nicest of changes.

"I'm glad you did," she admitted, staring up at him. She knew she must look like a lovesick fool, but she couldn't help it. Besides, she pretty much was a lovesick fool when it came right down to it.

"Scott comma Nathan!" Whitey's voice boomed across the gym causing Haley to jump and Nathan to grimace. "You either put on a skirt and pick up your pom-poms, or get over and join your team, captain!"

Nathan rolled his eyes at her, mocking hurt when she laughed at him. He lifted a hand to trail down her arm before turning and jogging back over to Whitey and the team. Haley looked around, blushing to see Bevin, Brooke, and Rachel all watching her. "He never says goodbye anymore, just leaves," she shrugged.

All three girls laugh, but Brooke and Rachel stopped immediately when they realize the other was in on the joke, too. Haley rolled her eyes, turning away and concentrating on watching Nathan warm up. Definitely more pleasant than anything those two had to say to each other.

The game passed uneventfully, the Ravens getting into a groove and handily beating their opponents. The most interesting thing that happens was yet another Brooke/Rachel fight over Luke, who looked mortified when he heard his name, but once they were dragged out of the gym being threatened with suspensions from school and removal from the squad, all was quiet.

Dan was sitting in the stands, and she watched him warily, never sure what he would, or could, do. To her surprise, most of his attention was focused on Luke, concern evident. What worried her is that she knew Karen had noticed it, too. Karen was never one to hesitate to say something about things like that, and she couldn't help but worry what Dan would give away in response. And perhaps more to the point, she couldn't help but fear how Luke would react if he saw them talking.

After the final buzzer sounds, she gathered up her things, surprised when Brooke appeared at her side, her makeup a wreck from crying. "You won't believe this, Haley! I've been k – kicked off the cheer squad!"

"What?" Haley gasped, her mouth dropping open. "How could they – you can't be – I don't believe this!"

"Well, you better start believing, because it is true," Brooke cried. "And I'm suspended a week from school, too, for fighting at a school event. Plus, now I'll probably lose the class presidency position, and then what?"

"Then what, what?" Haley asked, confused.

"Then – then I'm screwed! No school, no cheerleading, no class presidency, and worst of all, no boyfriend!"

'No boyfriend'? Haley rolled her eyes. Leave it to Brooke to have been suspended from school, but to be more worried about the fact that she had no boyfriend.

"You're priorities are skewed," Haley informed her, feeling awful when Brooke's face fell. "Oh, Brooke, I'm sorry. You know what? We'll figure this out, we'll talk to the school board, we'll get you back in school and make sure you don't lose – "

"It's too late," Brooke sniffed, on the verge of tears. "Rachel and I were caught fighting in the locker room last week. Whitey had to come in and break it up. They told us then that if it happened again, both of us would be gone."

"God, Brooke, I'm sorry," Haley sighed, feeling badly for her friend. "But it's only temporary, and maybe they'll change their minds on the extracurricular stuff."

"No, they won't," she denies\d, starting to cry in earnest. "They already said, this is it. That was our warning. I'm so screwed, Hales."

"Oh, Brooke, you know what, no, I'm sorry, they can't do that," she insisted. "We are going to figure out something, I promise. You and Rachel fight twice, and they try and cut you out of all school-related activities, but there are guys who fight all the time, and they never get punished like this! God, look at Nathan and Luke!"

"I don't know," Brooke whimpered, trying to wipe her eyes without smudging her makeup. "This is so messed up, Haley. My parents, oh, my god, they are going to kill me!"

"No, it's not fair!" Haley burst out as if Brooke hadn't said anything. "You know that I love both of them dearly, but they – they can't get away with this if you can't! That's – oh, that is sexist, and I am not going to stand for it. I won't! And you!" Brooke looked up at her appraisingly. "Oh, you won't stand for this either. And neither will Rach-ho."

"Haley, I don't know if this is such a good idea," Brooke tried to warn her. "I mean, if you – hey, Rach-ho, I like that!"

"Brooke, shut up! This is an injustice; you don't deserve to be treated differently than the boys in this school who fight! I can't believe you'd just give up and whine about it," Haley muttered, glaring at her friend and roommate. "This is truly ridiculous."

Brooke looked too shell-shocked to properly respond, so she just stared with her mouth hanging open. She almost laughed as Haley began pacing back and forth, muttering to herself. "Haley, stop it."

"No! I really don't get you," Haley accused. "You make such a big deal about things like Peyton still liking Luke, which isn't even his fault, but you don't want to make this a big deal? That makes no sense!"

"I can't, Haley!" Brooke exclaimed around her tears. "Don't you get it? This isn't easy for me, this is hard. Too hard, and I don't want to make it bigger than it already is. I'm not like you, I can't deal with something like this by fighting it."

"First of all, fighting it is the only way to deal with it. Second, it's the right way, and third, what the hell does that mean, not like me?"

"You – you know how to like, I don't know, do stuff! I don't know how, I don't know how to fight," she admitted, dejected. "That's not my thing, I never, ever fight for anything. You should know that, I – I walk away. I'm a leaver, Haley, a freaking leaver."

Haley stared at her wide-eyed, trying to formulate words that make sense to rebut that. When she thought about it for a second, it was clear that Brooke's assessment of herself was spot on, but Haley didn't want her friend to think that way about herself. And she wanted her to know that she could change, and that she should change.

"You'll fight this if I have to drag to a school board meeting myself," Haley told her. "Brooke, I totally understand where you're coming from. Hiding from things is easy, and there are a lot of times when we've all taken that easy route. But this isn't something you should hide from! This is hypocrisy, sexism, pure and simple. It's crap is what it is!"

Brooke stared at her, trying to figure out if she was right or not. The fight wasn't in her, and she knew that, but seeing Haley now, her friend so riled up over this, maybe she could find a little of that fight. Maybe Haley was right, that this wasn't fair, and that she didn't deserve to be treated any differently than the boys did.

"You – you're right," Brooke conceded. "I just have no idea what I'm supposed to do, but you're right."

"Well, that's not a problem at all!" Haley beamed, "Because I am going to help you! In fact, all the girls on the squad are going to help – you might piss them all off a lot, but there is no way that any of them would want you or Rach-ho off the squad. We'll fix this, Brooke."

Drying the last of her tears, Brooke nodded, moving to throw her arms enthusiastically around Haley. "You're right! You are so right. And now – now I'm going to – to – to, oh, damn, I don't know, bake cookies! Yes, I'll bake cookies, and then I'll – "

"Whoa, slow down there, Martha!" Haley chuckled, inwardly shuddering at the thought of the last cookies Brooke 'baked'. "Just go home tonight and take it easy. We will work on this first thing tomorrow, I promise."

"Thank you, roomie."

"You're welcome," Haley smiled, hugging her back. "Go, get out of here, forget about this mess for a little while."

"Thanks, Haley, I mean it," Brooke told her sincerely, pulling out of the hug to smile at her. "See you back at home?"

"Yeah," Haley sighed, a little bit of her mood dampening at the thought of going home to Brooke and not Nathan. "You will."

"Bye!"

Haley waved back to her, sighing as she kicked at her pom-poms.

"That was quite the scene," Karen said lightly as she walked up to her. "What's going on? Or is this super-secret cheerleader stuff?"

"Brooke is suspended," Haley sighed. "Worse, she's kicked off the cheer squad and probably losing her position of class president."

"Oh, that's terrible, the poor girl. I'm so sorry to hear that," Karen sighed. "How are you holding up, Haley? With everything?"

Haley smiled nervously, shrugging. "Things are alright," she assured her. "It just feels sometimes like an awful lot is happening at once."

"Haley, what's wrong?" Karen asked, noticing the sudden downturn in Haley's expression. "You know I'm not going anywhere until you tell me."

Haley shook her head, sniffling. "It's nothing," she managed to laugh, "Or, I don't know what it is, at least."

"Is it Dan?" Karen whispered harshly. "Oh, what has that jerk done now. You know, I have ways of making him pay, and pay dearly."

"It's not – Karen, I really don't know," she repeated, laughing harder, a little less forced this time. "Maybe I've finally lost my mind."

"I'm sure your mind is just fine," Karen chuckled, still looking worried. "Really, what is going on? You know you can tell me anything."

"I know," Haley agreed immediately. "I guess the problem is that I really don't think anything is the matter other than being overwhelmed and worried." She shrugged delicately. "So I spazzed out for a minute."

"It is okay to, as you put it, spaz," Karen agreed, wrinkling her nose. "But if you aren't okay, you should tell me."

"I promise, I'm fine," Haley smiled. "Scout's honor, and all that."

"You were never a scout!" Karen reminded her, laughing. "Actually, that's not quite true, is it?"

"You know that story?" Haley gasped, completely forgetting her maudlin mood swing. "It was my mom who told you, wasn't it!"

"Of course, Lydia and I used to share stories over coffee while you two were up working on the golf course," she smiled.

"I miss her," Haley sighed, fiddling with the ring on her left hand. "Half the times I call them, their cell phones aren't on or charged, so it goes straight to voicemail. It was like that before, but now it's really irritating."

"Honey, it doesn't mean – "

"Oh, I know," Haley interrupted with a wry laugh. "It's just sometimes I want to hear their voices, and all I get is their goofy message. And it's nice, but it isn't quite the same."

"No, I suspect it isn't," Karen sighed. "I'm sorry, honey. I try and be here for you, but I know that – "

"Oh, Karen!" Haley interrupted again. "I don't mean anything by that, not against what you've done for me, been to me. You're wonderful and I appreciate and love you so much. If I didn't have you here, I don't know. I might've given up, quit."

Karen stared hard at her for a moment, assessing her. "No. Sorry, but there is no way I believe that. There are no scenarios in which I can imagine you giving up on Nathan, Haley James-Scott. With or without me or anyone else, honey."

"Maybe not," she conceded with a smile, "But you help. You do, Karen. You don't let me get all crazy about things, or…at least not quite as crazy."

"Not quite," she laughed, her smile fading when Dan approached them. "Dan, what do you need?" she asked as coldly as she can muster, which to her disconcertion, wasn't as much as she'd supposed. Haley blinked at her in surprise when she winced at the sound of her own voice.

"I can't say hi to the mother of one of my sons, not to mention," he sighed, pulling a disgusted face at Haley, "The girl who managed to finagle marriage out of my other son?"

Haley managed to choke out a laugh at that. "And you wonder why no one wants to sit by you at the games?"

"They're just intimidated by the aura of greatness around me," he smirked, rolling his eyes at her. "That was a joke, ladies."

"Very funny," Karen noted dryly. "Well, Dan, as fun as this always is, you really do not need to feel like you need to hang out here with us."

"Well, we all have so much in common, and the last time we were in the same place, everyone seemed to enjoy it so much," he mocked, giving up and sighing. "Sorry, I was just going to make a little small talk. Didn't realize it'd send you into apoplectic fits, Karen."

Haley sighed, shaking her head. The last thing she wanted was to get into it with Dan tonight, and she wanted even less to be in the uncomfortable and unenviable position of watching Karen argue with him. And yet here she was, stuck as the feigned politeness wore off and their snipes at each other become progressively sharper.

Running her hand through her hair, she considered butting in and trying to get them to stop when Karen made a remark that one would generally consider rude about Dan's virility, and she decided that this was just a little too amusing to put such a quick end to.

"You're childish, Dan," Karen griped. "Childish and selfish."

"Oh, how wounding," he snickered. "You really have a way with the hurtful words, Kar."

"Don't call me that! You don't have the right to call me that," she snapped, her jaw clenching as he stepped closer to her.

"Why not?" he asked softly. "Afraid it might make you remember? That it might make you want something other than that little boy you were seeing?"

"Leave him out of this," Karen ordered, and her voice becomes hostile enough that Haley again took notice, turning away from waiting for Nathan.

"Why?" Dan continued to taunt. "Hitting a little close to home?"

"Oh, my god," Haley burst out nervously. "Just stop. I doubt either of you want to deal with Nathan or Luke coming out here and seeing you fighting right now."

Karen had the grace blush over their antics, while Dan could barely manage to hide a smirk. Neither said anything, just keep stealing glances at each other when they thought the other wasn't watching. All Haley could think of was the fit that Luke would have if he saw them like this.

"Um, Karen," she babbled out nervously, smoothing her shirt down over the edge of her skirt. "Maybe, um, we could stop at the café on the way home and get some hot chocolate. Oh! Or some mac and cheese!"

"That's fine, honey," Karen agreed absentmindedly, still studying Dan. God, it was like she was seeing him for the first time. Haley's nervous gaze kept darting back and forth between Karen and the door to the guys' locker room.

"Yeah, and maybe we – we could have a movie night or something," Haley felt compelled to plough on, not wanting to let Dan and Karen start talking, period, to each other again. The insults were bad enough, but the blatant interest in the way they were eyeing each other was really freaking her out. "Oh, thank God," she muttered when she saw Nathan come out of the locker room, Luke right behind him.

"Hey," Nathan smiled at her as he approached the group, one eye on his father. "What are you still doing here? I figured Brooke would drag you out for a party or something."

Sighing at the mention of Brooke, Haley looked down at the ground. "Brooke is not up to partying tonight. She and Rachel were caught fighting, like with fists, apparently, and have been suspended."

"What?" Nathan gasped, Luke stopping in his tracks at the news. "Are you kidding?"

"No, and it gets worse, too," she warned. "She's off the cheer squad and student council."

"Oh, damn. She's going to need a friend tonight," Luke muttered. "Mom, do you care if I go over and see if she's okay? She must be freaking out."

"Of course not, Lucas, just don't stay too late, please," Karen capitulated immediately. "Just let me know if you go anywhere other than Brooke's."

"Yeah, of course," Luke agreed, turning and jogging out of the gym without a backwards glance.

Nathan nudged Haley on the arm. "A 'friend'?"

She shrugged in response. "That's what both of them are saying. I don't know, and that is one aspect of both their lives that I'm trying not to know much about."

"Excuse me," Dan interrupted, clearing his throat. "Nathan, I was wondering if you'd like to come to dinner with me."

Nathan raised his eyebrows at his father after glancing quickly to Haley. "Actually, I think I'm going to have dinner with Haley tonight. If that's okay with her."

"Oh, well, of course," Haley beamed at him. "I mean, I was planning on mooching dinner from Karen anyway, so maybe we could both mooch!"

"Of course you can, you're both always welcome," Karen smiled at them both. "In fact, I'm on my way there now, so if you two want to meet me, that would be lovely."

"Well, it sounds wonderful!" Dan grinned, insinuating himself into the picture. "I'll just go ahead and meet you there as well. The more the merrier, right?"

Haley cringed, trying to think of a polite way to keep him from invading what could be a nice dinner with two of her favorite people, but Nathan grunted his displeasure, ruining any chance of resolving this calmly.

"Yeah, Dad, like you're invited. Go back to the beach house, and heat up a Hungry Man," Nathan spit at him.

"Nathan, part of me moving out was contingent on still being a part of your life. I hardly doubt that one dinner is going to cause you some kind of mortal peril," Dan retorted, causing Karen to roll her eyes and Haley to sigh.

"Maybe you two could have dinner together another night," Karen suggested quietly.

"No, Nathan has been putting me off long enough, haven't you, son?" Dan disagreed, eyeing Nathan, daring him to argue again.

"Fine, Dad, why don't you come along? It'll be a nifty family outing, don't you think? Maybe if we call Luke, he and his ex-girlfriend can come and make things just that much more awkward. Oh, and we can't forget Mom. Too bad Uncle Keith bailed, that would've really been the icing on the cake," Nathan baited him with sarcasm. "You're just full of great ideas, Dad!"

"Nathan," Haley interjected quietly, trying to ignore the way the defiance slides off Dan's face, replaced by hurt.

"No, Haley," Nathan continued, "I don't want to have dinner with him. And why should I? I owe him nothing!"

Sighing, Haley looked up at him. "I'm not saying you do. It's just, it's dinner, that's all." Dan looked at her in surprise, but to his credit, kept his mouth shut. "And Karen's chocolate layer cake will make it totally worth it, I promise."

"You still make that cake?" Dan asked in surprise, coughing to cover his embarrassment when all three heads swivel to stare at him. "What? That cake is good enough to remember years later!"

Karen was staring at him with something that Haley couldn't identify in her eyes, and Nathan was muttering under his breath about how weird this whole thing, and Haley somehow agreed with both of them, and she didn't even know what Karen was thinking. Which made Nathan even more right; the whole thing was blatantly and irrevocably weird.

"Is anyone ready to go?" Haley asked nervously. "I think I'm ready to go." Truth was, she couldn't get out of there fast enough. In fact, she'd ask whoever she rode with to take the long route. There wasn't one, but maybe they could circle the block ten times or something. That would do it, right?

"I'm ready," Dan announced, smiling widely at her. She had to fight the urge to glare back at him, instead forcing herself to stare impassively at him. "You could ride with me."

"No one wants to ride with you, Dad," Nathan informed him harshly, grabbing Haley's hand. Ordinarily, she might indulge in a little internal girly eeeee-ing, but this was not of the ordinary.

"Let's – let's all just go to our respective cars and go," Karen suggested tersely, spinning on her heel and walking out of the gym without a backwards glance.

Haley sighed, looking up at Nathan. "Maybe – I don't know, maybe I should ride with her, you know? She's not happy about this," she said in a low voice. "Maybe I can calm her down, or at least let her take it out on me."

"Don't bother," Nathan smirked. "It's always fun to see dear old Dad get torn a new one."

"Nathan," Haley admonished him softly, glancing past him to see Dan's face fall again, if only for a split second. "Let's just go."

"And get it over with," Nathan muttered, unknowingly voicing her exact thought about the dinner.

Groaning, Karen looked back and forth between Nathan and Dan, unsure what to say or do to break even a little of the tension in the room. Judging by Haley's rigid posture, she was feeling it as much as she was, and she also had no idea how to dispel things.

"Maybe we should move onto dessert," Karen finally suggested. "I've got coffee and pie, if anyone wants any."

Haley immediately jumped up, almost knocking her chair over backwards. Smiling apologetically at Nathan and Karen, she started backing towards the kitchen. "Oh, I'll get it. Be right back!"

"I'll help!" Nathan volunteered immediately, jumping up and following behind her closely, not looking back at his father and Karen once.

"Well, it seems no one really wants me here," Dan sighed. "Least of all my son." Karen threw a sharp, disbelieving look his way, but didn't say anything. "Look, I know I shouldn't have even hoped for more, but when it comes to the boys, there's always a hope," he admitted.

Her breath caught in her throat at his mention of 'the boys', something that she'd wanted from him ever since he decided to choose Nathan and Deb over her and Lucas. It was one of those things where she just wanted something that seemed so small and so like a given for most people, but she never got it. Not even when Lucas was introduced to Dan's circle, not even when he and Nathan had so briefly connected.

And now, here it was. And thrown out there with seemingly little conscious thought, to boot. Instead of making her happy, or even angry that it had taken him all this time, it just left her feeling an empty sadness. Not only for Lucas, who, at eighteen, still didn't know his father in anything but the most rudimentary manner, but for Dan, too. Of everything, that was the most galling of all, that she'd feel anything other than anger and resentment and irritation with him.

"I guess sometimes hope is all that any of us have," she finally said softly, staring intently at him, trying to gauge and read him.

He didn't look at her; his gaze still firmly fixed on the door that Nathan disappeared after Haley through. "Maybe," he sighed a moment later. "Maybe. Does that mean I have to like it?"

"I don't suppose that many of us like it," she shrugged, "But it isn't something that you can change with the snap of your fingers. If hope is all you have, chances are you'll have to work damn hard to get to a point where you have more than that hope."

"I don't know how," Dan admitted with a wince, a faint flush creeping up his neck and over his cheeks. "Damn it. I hate this, I hate all of it."

"If you're expecting sympathy here, you won't get it," she pointed out. "Maybe if you can take a little advice though, then I think you should back off."

He openly scoffed at that. "If I back off, it just gives them both the added time to pull away from me, Karen. And you know as well as anyone that they are both damn near out of reaching distance from me as it is."

"I don't feel sorry for you," she quietly reiterated. "I don't think you deserve sympathy or pity from anyone. You've made your choices, and you've backed those choices up with some of the most despicable actions I've ever witnessed."

"Well, great, is that part of your advice?" he sighed, defeat written all over him.

"I'm not saying this to hurt you, surprisingly enough. It's obvious you've always expected I would lash out at you."

"I'm not denying that I'd deserve it," he muttered softly, finally looking at her to make eye contact. "I never understood why you didn't."

She lets out a bitter laugh before she could check it, shaking her head. "That would've been too easy, and quite frankly, there was – is – no way in hell I'd give you that satisfaction. You already had everything else, you didn't need that, too."

"Everything?" Dan laughed humorlessly. "Yeah, everything. Right."

"Oh, stop," Karen snapped. "Don't you even dare try to pretend like your upscale little life wasn't perfect and pretty and practically gift-wrapped to grace the pages of some magazine."

"That wasn't what I was doing," he muttered in return, the first hint of anger crossing his face that night. "Just because the package was pretty doesn't mean what is inside is all that great. You understand that."

"Fine. Maybe I do. The thing is, I still can't bring myself to feel much sympathy for you, you know."

"Yeah, I know," he nodded, a wry smirk on his face. "Well, that would be expecting too much, and I'm well aware of what I deserve from whom."

"Then why are you here?" she asked softly, ignoring all the hundreds of possible implications that could arise from that particular question; ignoring all the answers she'd like to receive from him now.

He looked back down at his hands, considering his words. She watched him warily, her glaze flickering to the door to the kitchen, wondering what was taking Nathan and Haley so long. It made her more uncomfortable than she cared to acknowledge, to be out here with Dan alone, to talk about things they should've talked about years ago. To dredge those hurts up, even in the most roundabout of terms, wasn't something they should be doing now.

"Some things have, ah, happened recently, or come to my attention, perhaps, that I can't ignore. I can't wait forever to make things right with Nathan and Lucas." At the questioning look in her eyes, he wanted to tell her the truth about Lucas's condition, but between Haley and Lucas, he couldn't break the promises.

She studied him intently, trying to piece together what he meant. She didn't get what he specifically meant, but in general, she understood. There were so many things in life that were easy to put off, including making the most of your time with your children. Granted, Dan was an extreme case of that, but in a small way, she could understand a bit of what he's saying.

"What are you going to do?" she asked quietly, her mama bear instinct ready to come out swinging if necessary.

"I want to be a part of their lives, Karen," he sighed quietly. "Right now, I'm not part of either of theirs. Even when I was living in the same house as Nathan, I couldn't manage to pull it off. And I've always bungled things with Lucas."

"There's a lot of water under those bridges," she said frankly. "What you're talking about could take years."

"And you don't think I can do it," he surmised. "No, you actually don't think that I will, right?"

"You're right, absolutely," she agreed. "It isn't that I think you're incapable necessarily, but I think both boys are smart enough to know better than expecting you to follow through on this. And that's going to make it awfully hard for you."

He nodded jerkily, trying to cover the multitude of emotions he's feeling. 'Never let 'em see you sweat,' that was the adage. "I have no delusions on the difficulty of this. I'm not stupid," he murmured, "This is different; this time, things are going to be different."

"For my son's sake, and conversely for yours, I hope that isn't a lie," she warned him, sighing in relief when Haley and Nathan came out of the kitchen carrying trays of coffee and pie and cake.

"Hey!" Haley smiled apologetically at Karen. "I brought you a piece of chocolate cheesecake. Figured you could use the sugar rush and the caloric binge." She turns to Dan, handing him a plate. "Nathan said you like coconut cream," she told him, pausing when Karen's eyes widened in surprised consternation.

Dan shook his head, his gaze flickering over Nathan in sadness. "Actually, I'm allergic to coconut, which I'm sure Nathan just forgot."

Haley shot Nathan a nasty look, passing Dan her piece. "Take that one. The chocolate cheesecake really is the best anyway."

"Thank you," he nodded, taking it graciously from her.

She turned, heading back to the kitchen, a chagrined Nathan following behind on her heels. When the door swung shut behind them, he sighed. "Haley, come on, it was just a joke."

"Fine, but next time? Leave me out of your jokes. They really aren't all that funny," she snapped at him. "Feeding someone something they're allergic to is not my idea of a good time."

"It isn't like he'd have eaten it," Nathan muttered, having the grace to look a tiny bit shamefaced at his actions. "Honest, Hales, I knew he wouldn't eat it."

"Yeah, okay," she sighed, smiling up at him. "It's just – I don't know, he was behaving tonight, and you have to go and get all antsy and whip out your bear poking stick. Now he's probably all wound up and going to make all of us miserable for the rest of the evening."

Nathan scoffed at that. "Yeah, right, behaving? You heard him mention taking me and Luke out fishing. What the hell was that? I'll tell you what it was, it was a mind game. He's playing all of us right now, and you defending him? You're falling into his trap!"

"Oh, calm down!" she groaned. "Nathan, come on. I didn't even defend him, first of all, and second? You're being weird and paranoid about this."

"He was trying to bait me and Karen, Hales. You know he was, you can't argue that!"

"Well, and it apparently worked, Nathan!" she laughed. "You're freaking out! Look, at least he wasn't hurling his insults around like he'd bought them in bulk from the bargain bin again." She poked him in the ribs playfully. "Even you have to admit that it is an improvement!"

"You know what? Forget him. Forget that he barged into what could've been a really great evening for us, forget he even exists."

She grinned widely at him, ready and willing to jump all over any chance to salvage their evening. "What do you have in mind?"

"Are you two doing it already, or what?"

"Brooke!" Haley blushed, laughing as Luke covers his ears from his spot across the lunch table. "No, for your information, we are not! But that doesn't mean things are finally improving for us! It isn't all about sex, you know."

"Well, rah rah rah," Brooke groaned. "Honestly, no sex? What the hell is the point?"

"Quit thinking with your – well, you know," Luke ordered Brooke, rolling his eyes at her. Turning to Haley, he asked, "Let me get this straight. Nathan Scott got you, Haley James, to go swimming. In the river. In November."

"You say it like I'm some total stick in the mud who never does anything interesting! I can be as fun and wild as all the rest of you!" she insisted.

Luke and Brooke exchanged Looks. "Well," began Brooke, "While you have definitely shed some of the Tutor Girl visage and come out of your shell a lot since you started hanging out with me, a wild child you ain't!"

"You two make me feel like I'm some sort of horrible vestal virgin or something," Haley sighed. "God, Luke, I'm sure I've had more sex than you!"

He groaned, covering his ears again. "God, Haley, do you have to talk about that stuff? Let's never speak of your sex life again."

"Meanwhile, if he had one to speak of, it would be all he'd want to talk about!" Haley muttered to Brooke under her breath, who rolled her eyes in agreement. "You can be a jerk sometimes, Luke."

"Because I don't want to hear about the sex life of my best friend? The best friend whose sex life would include my currently estranged brother, who hates me beyond compare? Yeah, funny how that works, huh?"

"He doesn't hate you!" Haley jumped in. "If he doesn't hate me, he doesn't hate you. Trust me on this one, I know what I'm talking about."

"He loved you to start with, though," Luke countered, sounding totally sure of his argument. "He only tolerated me, and sometimes barely at that. You had something to go back to, and he and I didn't."

"Oh, please, that is such bull," Brooke jumped in. "First of all, Nathan loves you, at least on some level, and that's despite all your weird family drama. Second, the very fact that he loves Haley so much is why it makes it so much worse that she hurt him. That's why he's had a hard time forgiving her."

"No way," Luke disagreed.

Brooke rolled her eyes. "Yes, way. The more you love someone, the more it hurts when they screw you over." She threw a pointed look Luke's way. "Why do you think it took me so much longer to warm up to Peyton again, bub?"

Haley cringed inwardly even as Luke cringed outwardly. Brooke had hit the proverbial nail on the head, and it only served to remind Haley of her failings with regards to Nathan. It broke her heart all over again, being reminded of the damage she did to him, the hurt she caused him, and the knowledge that things, while improving, still weren't back to where they used to be. Where she'd like them to be again.

"Sorry, didn't mean to bum you out, Haley," Brooke shrugged callously, "But you should face the facts about this. Peyton was right, you hurt him, and you suck for that."

Haley stared at her, not sure what to say. "You think I don't think of that every minute of every day?" she finally asked. "Because I do! Every second of every minute of every day! Even when I'm doing something else, it's still there, in the back of my head."

"Good!" Brooke proclaimed, not giving an inch.

"Lay off," Luke told her, jumping to the defense of his best friend. "Quit projecting your issues on Haley. She had the opportunity of a lifetime, and she was brave enough to do something that terrified her, that had more consequences than you can even imagine. It was hard and scary and risky, but she did it anyway. You wouldn't do the same in her position, so quit judging what you can't understand!"

Haley groaned at this, despite appreciating Luke's quick and thoughtful defense of her. Unfortunately, his tirade would only serve to set Brooke off, setting up another Brooke slash Luke battle royale.

"Fine," Brooke huffed. "Obviously the two of you are so high and mighty about everything that you can't even see us little peons down here on Earth. Whatever."

"Well, good job," Haley said to Luke as Brooke stomped off in a snit. "I thought you were trying to get her back, not push her away for good."

"I'm not trying anything," Luke shrugged, sighing a little as he watched her leave. "Maybe there's too much drama between us. Sure seems like it, huh?"

She nodded thoughtfully. "Well, anyway, I'm sorry. We're seniors in high school, and our lives are this complicated. Can you imagine how they'll be when we're twenty-five?"

"Ghastly," Luke deadpanned, earning a laugh. He sobered, reaching over to pat her on the shoulder. "She's wrong, Haley. I know that there were things you could've done differently, but there is no shame in following your dream. None. I hope you know that."

She looked up at him, tears in her eyes. "Thanks, Luke. I appreciate that."

He nodded, smiling at her. "Hey, that's what family is for – to tell you the truth."

The truth. Such a funny little thing, she thought. It was different for everyone, but the same for all. Interpretation was nine tenths of the law when it came to truth. She knew she was lucky at least Luke interpreted her truths in a positive light. And Nathan was coming around, and Karen would always have her back.

All in all, not so bad for in-laws. Now to convince her husband to let her keep them.


	7. The Benevolent King

**Chapter Seven – ****The Benevolent King**

"Five hundred dollars."

"What?" Haley snapped, her attention effectively captured. "That's crazy."

"Seven-fifty then," Dan bargained, and she gaped in open wonder at the slight hints of desperation around him.

All day long during her shift at the dealership, he'd had her helping with campaign matters, but they had been too busy with customers for the most part to get much done. And now he had a bunch of things he still needed finished, and had gotten into his head that she should be the one to help him out. The exorbitant price tag he was willing to pay her was both amusing and odd.

This kind of extra money was something she could really need in the next year. Putting it into the bank for college would be huge, and for that reason alone, she knew she'd say yes. In this case, what other answer is there? She's an emancipated seventeen year old who was estranged from her husband. Her parents didn't have the kind of cash needed to send her to college. Even with loans and such, she'd still need spending money. This wasn't something she could turn down.

"One thousand!" he blurted out, unexpectedly. "That's it, I'm not offering more than that!"

Gaping, she nodded in agreement immediately. "O-okay."

"Thank God," he muttered under his breath, his relief obvious and palpable.

"It's just finishing up the photocopies and doing some proofing, right?" she asked wearily. "A few hours of work?"

"Right, yeah," he agreed immediately. "And you're some kind of wiz in your classes, right? You had Nathan getting good grades." He said the last part more to himself than her, so she didn't say anything. "Maybe I'll have you edit my speech for next week, too. Yeah, I need someone to take a look at it."

"Okay," she agrees hesitantly, then groaned. "I have to make a quick phone call."

"Which of my sons' hearts are you breaking tonight?" he asked with a sly smile. "That's what that's about, right?"

"How – " she cut herself off, angrily throwing her hands in the air. "Is that what this is about? You're paying me a grand to stay here, for one night, to keep me away from Nathan? That's – that's ridiculous!"

"Yes, it would be, if that's what I was doing," he agreed self-righteously, "But since I'm not, we'll leave the adjectives describing me to 'desperate' for the night, won't we?"

"Fine," she snapped half-heartedly, fishing her phone out of her purse. "I'll be right back."

Flipping through her contacts in irritation, mostly directed at herself for rising to Dan's ever present bait, she found Nathan's number. She knew he won't take this all that well; she'd been finding it harder and harder to find time to spend with him outside of school and bus rides to the games. If she wasn't working, she was too tired to go out. If she wasn't too tired, she had school work to do. Vicious cycle, it was, and it showed no signs of lessening.

"Hey Hales, you on your way?" he answered after two rings.

"Hey Nathan," she greeted him, trying to keep the tremor of nervousness out of her voice. Everything with Nathan was so fragile right now, and while she was pretty sure he'd understand that a grand was a whole lot of money, she was equally sure he still wouldn't like being stood up. And she didn't really blame him for that.

"Are you on your way?" he asked again.

"Oh, Nathan, I'm so sorry, but I can't," she sighed, nervously running a hand through her hair. "M-my boss lost his mind and offered me a thousand dollars to stay here for a few hours longer and finish up a few projects for him."

"What'? Are you kidding me?" he burst out, angrier than she'd expected. "Jesus, Haley, we have plans! And you're going to break them for a little money?"

"It's more than a little," she pointed out, inwardly groaning to herself. "Look, Nathan, I'm sorry. I really am; you have to know that being with you anywhere doing anything would be better than working, but this is so much money. And there's college and rent and maybe a senior trip and other stuff to think about. I want to do all those things with you, and if that means missing a night with you now, then I guess that's a sacrifice I'm willing to make!"

"Great," he spit out. "You're willing to whore yourself out for a grand now in hopes that maybe someday you'll get to spend some time with me? That's – that's just great, Haley. Really great. And a thousand dollars? What exactly are you doing?"

The tone of his voice left no question as to what he was implying, and she had to struggle with herself to keep from hanging up on him immediately. "I can't believe you'd even say that, Nathan," she whispered in a pained voice. "How could you?"

"How could I?" he snorted. "Oh, come on, Haley. You left to go on a tour with the skeeziest guy around! Who knows what you were doing then, and who knows what you're now!"

She fell silent, feeling like she took a sucker-punch to the gut. "I – what – you don't really – " she choked out, devastated by his cruel words.

"No, you really don't anything, at all, do you? You don't think, you don't care about anyone other than yourself, you don't follow through on promises or vows," he persisted relentlessly. "It's hard to even know why I'm surprised by any of this!"

"That isn't fair," she maintained quietly. "I know I've made mistakes, but this – this isn't one of them, and you know it."

"I don't know it," he said after a lengthy pause. "I really don't. Just when I was starting to think that this – us – was important to you again, you start standing me up."

"Have you thought about what happens next fall?" she cried out. "Have you thought that you're going to have a basketball scholarship, but I don't have anything like that to rely on? And I don't have parents who can just pay for all of it at once! If I'm going to have a chance of going where you go, then I can't turn things like this down!"

"Well, there's always another option," he said, malicious intent in his voice.

"What's that?" she asked quietly, fearfully.

"Go somewhere that I'm not." The soft click let her know that he had hung up on her, and she staggered a little on her feet as she replayed the conversation in her head.

There was no doubt that this wasn't going to be something he'd shrug and accept, she knew that immediately; however, it also wasn't something she had figured he'd respond to like this. It has been a long time since he'd been that vocal and nasty about his anger with her, and it hurt and scared her that it was back like this.

Trying to pull herself together, trying her damnedest not to cry, she straightened her shoulders and locked the phone before shoving it back into her purse. She tried to tell herself that he was just disappointed, and that this would blow over, but it was a bit of a tough sell when she added it to the pile of wrongs she had done him. Taking a deep breath, she headed back through the doors, attempting to smile back at the few straggling salesmen who hadn't yet left.

Dan looks up as she entered his office, and for a second, he felt bad as he took in the stricken look on her face. He clamped down on that, shaking his head as she sat down at the table adjacent to his desk and started working.

"Nathan was a bit of a jerk, huh?" he started conversationally. "Must come from Deb's side, I suppose."

"Yeah, I'm sure that's it," she muttered sarcastically in return, not bothering to look up from what she was doing.

"Look, I'm sure it'll all blow over by tomorrow, and things will be just fine. So, now can we focus on the task that you're swindling a grand out of me?"

"Swindle my ass," she retorted. "You begged me to take the money and stay, and furthermore, you knew there was no way I could turn it down. Now really isn't the time for you to turn on the benevolent king routine."

He raised an eyebrow at her before nodding. "He really did a number on you this time, huh? What did he say?" She rolled her eyes at him, refusing to answer. "It must've been pretty bad. I've never seen anyone as patient with him as you are. Nathan has a sharp tongue, though, so it must try even your patience with him sometimes."

"Why are you saying this?" she asked in confusion, knowing that while Dan was quite capable of criticizing both sons, she'd never heard him do it without at least one of them in the room to hear it.

"I'm not blind to Nathan's faults," he answered mildly.

"When it comes to other people experiencing them, you usually are," she countered immediately, "Besides, I've never even heard you come close to criticizing him. What gives?"

He looked at her appraisingly, as if trying to decide something before shrugging and continuing. "I'm trying. I have no misconceptions about how hard this will be, winning any kind of affection from my sons, but I'm trying. And maybe part of that is admitting and, more importantly, accepting their faults along with my own."

"Your own?" she smirked, fighting back a laugh. "You'd admit to having some?"

"I just told you I am, and why," he gritted out, fighting back the snappish remarks and nasty comments that leap to his tongue. "Look, I can understand why you don't see where I'm coming from on this, but for someone who is trying to get back in Nathan's good graces, I would think you might have a tiny shimmer of understanding for what I'm going through right now."

He was practically bleeding sincerity, much to her disgust, and she found it so annoying that she did have that ability to sympathize with him and understand what it was like. She didn't like it, and she certainly didn't trust in it much, but there was the very real sense of sincerity there, making it hard for her not to take what he was saying sincerely.

"I can't trust that what you're saying is true," she finally muttered, "Because you've screwed over and screwed up too many people I love and care about too many times. And you're a little weasel, and I'm having a hard time believing you've had your movie moment and that your heart has grown three sizes."

He rolled his eyes, snorting back a laugh. "You know, sometimes, I think you might just have a little bit of potential, Miss James," again rolling with the deliberate use of her maiden name, although she wasn't so sure now it was to be cruel as much as it was part of their 'thing'. Oh, God, they had a 'thing'. A routine. That was so scary. That was so sick.

"Well, at least I can do math and know what a thousand dollars can do for me," she sighed. "That's like two semesters of books, if I'm lucky."

He regarded her seriously, not even noticing when she squirmed slightly under his regard. "You're serious, aren't you? About going to college, I mean."

She frowned up at him, glancing up from the papers in her hand. "Well, it's always been my plan. Since I was three and knew what college was, I wanted to go. Stanford, actually. That's pretty much out, but that doesn't mean I can't go somewhere else."

"Why is Stanford out?"

"Well, look, I love Nathan with all my heart, but his grades aren't Stanford material. Even with his basketball, it's still not enough for Stanford. That's okay, too, as long as we're together."

Dan nodded slowly, thinking over her words. "You'd give up your dream for him?"

"I already made the mistake of following a dream once," she sighed, the world blurring at the edges as tears cloud her vision. "I won't make it again."

He could feel his lips purse, as though he'd tasted something sour. Admitting it to himself is inordinately hard, painfully hard even, but he wa jealous. He was jealous that a teenage girl had figured out at her age what he was still just barely figuring out at his age, approaching forty. It was not fair, and it didn't seem right, but it was. She knew more than he did. She got what he didn't.

"How can you be sure?" he asked softly, wincing inwardly as he waited for her to pounce on this revelation of insecurity. If their relationship was based on anything, it was mutual snark and dislike. For him to get serious was serious out of bounds play, and he wasn't sure it would be tolerated.

She smiled wryly, looking up from the paper, suddenly uncaring that her eyes were filled with tears. "I can't, I guess. But I have to try." She bit her lower lip, debating her next words. "You know Nathan, he'll exploit anything he sees as a weakness, so if I don't – well, you get the picture."

He nodded thoughtfully, taking in her words. "For years, I used that trait in him to my advantage. Well, you know that, of course. It's different now, though. I hate seeing that in him, I hate knowing that I helped cultivate it in him."

She didn't know what to say, so she settled for nodding, and an uneasy silence filled the space between them. Fidgeting with the papers in her hand, she couldn't keep silent anymore. "You're really sorry sometimes, aren't you?" she blurted out, wanting to clap her hand over her mouth once it was out so she couldn't talk anymore.

He looked at her warily, as if she was going to pounce on whatever he said next. "About more things than you could ever imagine," he said honestly, the words ragged and harsh, as if torn from him.

She felt that tiny bit of kinship all the way down to her toes, and it scared her. It scared her to think that she had something in common with Dan Scott, the evil puppetmaster who seemed to live to make her life Hell. But here she was, and despite all the things she knew to be true, she's one hundred and ten percent positive that he was telling her the truth right now. That he was sorry. If there was one thing she could understand, it was that sometimes, sorry really could be enough. When there's nothing else left, it usually was.

That was just her experience, though.

"This is getting ridiculous, Hales."

"Hey, thanks for the update," she muttered sarcastically, swiping at the counter with her dishrag.

He shook his head, fighting a smile. "Your new slave driver boss gives you a day off, and what do you do? Work at your old job. You're such a freak, Hales."

She laughed with him, rolling her eyes. "Well, I happen to like working here," she shrugged carelessly, omitting that there are actually aspects of her other job she's coming to appreciate, too. "It doesn't feel like work, anyway, just hanging out."

"I'm just glad you're here," Luke noted, smiling happily. "I've missed hanging out with you over the last year. It's just not the same." She opened her mouth to interject something, but he pushed on. "I'm not saying it's bad, I'm just saying it isn't what it used to be. That's okay, but it's okay to miss the old stuff, too."

"I miss you, too," she answered softly. "I know things haven't been the same, but we're still Luke and Hales."

"How's things with Nathan?" Luke asked after she poured coffee for a few of the customers at the bar, "Still on the road to reconciliation?"

She averted her eyes so he didn't see the way his question hits home. After a second to compose herself by sucking in a quick breath of air, she looked up, managing a shaky smile. "I think I blew it again," she admitted quietly. "I stood him up for work last night."

Luke's eyebrows shot up in surprise. "What? Why would you do that?"

Taking a deep and hopefully calming breath, she smiled ruefully. "My boss offered me a grand to stay and do some editing and revising for him. It's not like I can turn that down," she sighed. "I have college to think of, not to mention just general living."

"And he's mad at you? Well, I mean, you should've called and let him know, but come on, a thousand dollars. That's – that is so much money I can hardly even wrap my mind around it," Luke chuckled.

"Yeah, well, I did call him, Luke," she shrugged. "Beforehand. Let him know what the deal was. He's apparently unconvinced as to what exactly I'm doing for this job."

"What does that mean?" Luke asked, his brow furrowing in confusion briefly before smoothing back out as his eyes widen. "No, he did not say that."

She brushed her bangs out her eyes. "Actually, he did." It was on the tip of her tongue to tell him the rest, that her subsequent conversation with Dan was actually human and went a long way towards making her feel better. "I'm trying to tell myself he didn't mean it, but he said some things that make me think he really did."

"Oh, Hales, I'm sorry," Luke sighed. "He really wouldn't mean something like that."

She smiled sadly, shaking her head. "I want to believe that, but it just came so fast, that idea to his head, and he said without compunction. Like it was nothing. Like I was nothing."

"Hey, come on, you know how Nathan is. When his feelings get hurt, or worse, his pride, he lashes out. And he knows what hurts the most, and he's not afraid to use it."

She nodded, taking a deep breath. "Well, it doesn't matter anyway. If he thinks some nasty words are going to drive me off, then he has got another thing coming, you know?"

Luke laughed at her resolve. "He'll never know what hit him."

"I hope not," Haley sniffed, smirking a little. "I just hope this isn't all in vain, because it is so hard. And I'm not saying I don't deserve that, but it hurts. How long can I stand this kind of hurting?"

"How long did he stand it?" Luke asked gently, not trying to hurt her more, but knowing that she needed to hear that, especially from him. Especially from the one person who would always forgive her anything.

She nodded as tears once again spring to her eyes, hastily trying to hide her face behind a curtain of hair. "I know, Luke. That's why I'm going to take whatever he has to give, okay? Knowing I deserve it doesn't make it easier, though."

"Hey, no one ever said it would," he smiled, patting her on the back. "Look, I know you love Nathan, and even if he won't say it, I know he loves you back. Just give him some time, and he'll work things out."

"I hope so," she whispered, letting out a tremulous breath as he pulled her into his arms.

"It will," he reassured her. "He'll get over this 'being an asshole' thing, and beg you to forgive him. Mark my words, Hales."

She laughed wryly at that, sighing deeply. "Well, I guess I can only hope you're right," she noted. "It's not like I have a whole lot of other options right now, huh?"

"Hey, you can always keep pestering him until he gives in, right?" She nodded, smiling gratefully at him as she turned to grab something from the kitchen. When she got back, he grinned. "So, what does a guy got to do to get a job where you're working? Because it sounds pretty cushy."

She was pretty sure it wouldn't do to say 'enter into a nefarious deal with your possibly evil, possibly misunderstood father-in-law', so she just shook her head, forcing out a small laugh. "Be competent at something other than reading melodramatic novels and basketball?"

"Ouch!" he exclaimed, laughing with her. The smile faded and the laughter died on his lips not ten seconds later, though, as the door to the diner opens and his father – in name only – stepped through the door. "What is he doing here?" he hissed at Haley.

She blinked in surprise, taking a minute to see who he was talking about. "I don't know, maybe he likes the pie," she suggested blithely, not wanting this to escalate into something weird on either ends. "Be cool, Luke. Your mom will kill you if you start anything, and you know it."

He turned his glare on her, shaking his head. "I don't care about that," he muttered. "She might be willing to play along with whatever game this is, but I'm not."

"Hmm, well, I don't know about you, but I hope the game is Hungry, Hungry Hippo," she teased him, sighing when he didn't laugh. "Come on, that was funny!"

"No, funny is him thinking he can come in here and just sit down like he's a normal customer," Luke muttered tersely. "Ha ha ha."

She raised an eyebrow at that. "Okay, look, Sparky. You stay here, and I'll go talk to him, see what he wants. He's not causing any problems, so don't go looking for one, got it?"

"No, you don't need to be exposed to that!" Luke protested, starting to slide off his stool.

She clamped a hand down on his shoulder, shoving him back onto his seat. "No, you stay here. I mean it, Luke, let me deal with this."

She didn't wait for him to say anything else, just gave him a harsh look until he threw his hands up in surrender. Sighing, she grabbed a menu and mde her way over to Dan's table. "So, I'm not going to have to call the police, am I?"

"I don't know," he said, looking up at her. "Luke isn't planning on maiming me, is he?"

"Oh, no," she smirked. "I'm pretty sure he thinks death is an option in this case. Anyway, what are you doing here, Dan? You know it's only going to upset him."

"I'm making the effort with Nathan, and now I'm trying to make it with Luke, too. We talked about this yesterday," he reminded her unnecessarily. "I thought you at least sort of understood where I'm coming from."

Sighing, she sat down. "It's not about me getting it," she pointed out. "It's about what Nathan and Luke can tolerate. And unfortunately, I don't think Luke can tolerate this. He's really protective of Karen and this café that maybe this isn't the best place to approach him."

"I just want to try," Dan stated plainly. "If he reacts poorly, which you're right, he probably will, then I'll leave. But at least I'll leave knowing that I tried."

She bit her lower lip, worrying it between her teeth. "If I talk to him, and tell him that you want to talk to him and he refuses, will you leave?"

"Yes," he agreed immediately, almost a little too quickly for her liking. "I don't expect everything from him right away. I'm not that much of a fool."

"Well, okay then," she said doubtfully, hurrying away from his table like his outcast status amongst his family could be catching.

He wasn't sure what he expected from this, really. He knew that Luke would refuse to see him, or worse, come after him to physically throw him out. He didn't want it to come to that, of course, but he didn't want to be ignored, either.

When Haley approached Luke, it didn't take a genius to figure out that Luke was definitely pissed. He was a little pleased that Luke took some of it out on Haley – after all, she'd been a thorn in his side for awhile now, but he hated to know it was just because the boy was so upset over his presence. At least Karen wasn't there to make him feel worse about everything; besides the boys, she was really the only with that ability anymore.

Actually, that wasn't true. Haley seemed to be able to cut him the same way Karen always could, even if it was a little different in this case. She understood too much, even the parts that no one else did. It was uncanny that the person most influential in his sons' young lives was so similar to the person most influential in his younger life.

It surprised him more than he would've been willing to admit when Luke started walking towards him. It's grudging, no doubt about that; the look on his son's face guaranteed that. But it was something. It was a start. Maybe that was all he could ask for now, forever. Maybe it was all he'd ever have. And maybe that would have to be okay.

"Why are you here?" Luke asked when he reached the table, more wary than anything else after the anger dissipated. "Why are you suddenly everywhere?"

"I'm trying," was what Dan offered. "I'm trying to be a father to you and a better father to Nathan."

"That's just lip service," Luke muttered, unable to believe this of his father, unable to believe that the man who had figuratively and literally turned his back on him so many times could truly mean what he was saying.

"I'm here," Dan pointed out, "And I'm going to keep being here. Maybe you'll never acknowledge me, and maybe I'll never get more than this, but I'm going to try. And then I'll try harder."

Luke couldn't say that he was unaffected by the solemn vow, but that still didn't mean that he could trust it, either. But they were the words he'd always wanted to hear, and somehow, he found that was still true. He still wanted to hear them, craved it even. And that seemed so preposterous to him, that after all this time, he'd still harbored those boyish illusions about some kind of perfect reunion with his father, of being accepted.

"I don't know what to tell you," Luke admitted, still eyeing Dan like he was afraid he'd pounce. "You can't just act like there isn't – "

"I'm not," Dan interrupted quickly. "I'm not trying to pretend like the past isn't there. I am not trying to ignore all the wrongs I've done, Lucas. That's one thing I can promise you. It's there, and both of us are acutely aware of it. We'll deal with that, if you give me the chance."

In spite of himself, Luke couldn't help but ask, "The chance to what? You'll forgive me for thinking your motives might be a little shaky."

"I'd forgive you anything," Dan sighed quietly. "All I want is the chance to make things up to you, and be a father to you. I don't want anything from you, I don't expect anything more than that; I just want to be your father."

Choking up, Luke fixed his gaze out the window. "I don't know what to say to you."

"Don't say anything," Dan told him. "Just don't say 'no'."

Luke wrenched his gaze back to Dan. "I don't know if I can do this," he admitted, feeling weaker for it. "I don't know if I can let you in like you want, like you're asking."

Taking a deep breath, Dan nodded. "I – I can understand that."

Luke raised an eyebrow skeptically, his heart plummeting in disappointment. "So that's it? You'd give up?"

"Did I say anything about giving up?" Dan snapped mildly. "I can accept that this isn't easy for you, that you won't make it easy on me, and that I need to earn your trust. But I'm not giving up. I can live with that; can you?"

"Do I have a choice?" Luke asked, trying to tamp down on his hopes. Dan was saying all the right things and acting the right way, but Luke was aware of what a manipulator he was, and how damn good he could be at it.

"There are always choices, right?" Dan shrugged. "Sometimes we make the right ones, and sometimes we screw things up beyond royally."

"Speaking from experience, I suppose," Luke remarked drolly, inwardly smiling to see that Haley was keeping a keen eye on them, focused with unabashed interest.

"That's something we all have in common, I think," Dan noted. "I know you've made mistakes, bad choices. And I've made more than my share, and unfortunately, I'll probably continue to make more."

Haley watched as they continued to talk, her foot tapping impatiently beneath the counter. She couldn't even fathom what they're talking about, but since Luke hadn't jumped across the table to choke Dan, she figured that he was at least listening to what Dan had to say. Which was surprising, and not altogether sane.

Finally, Dan got up to leave, and Haley waited as Luke watched him go. Giving up the pretense of patience, she flung the towel she was wringing down onto the counter, and made her way across the café to where her friend stood.

"So? What did he say?" she blurted out, knowing full well how nosy she sounded, but not really caring about it at the moment.

He laughed aloud at her eagerness, reaching out a hand to ruffle her hair. "Down, girl. He just – I don't know, he wants to 'be a father' to me."

Haley nodded, gesturing for him to continue. "Okay, what else? You two talked for an awful long time."

"There isn't really much else," Luke shrugged. "He said he knew he's made mistakes, a lot of them, and that he wants to make things up to me. He said everything I've always sort of wanted to hear from him."

"Even when you insisted you didn't?" she asked quietly, settling down now that she had the scoop.

Luke nodded slowly, looking towards the door that Dan left through. "Even when I knew I shouldn't, when I was positive I was better off without him."

"Oh, Luke," she sighed, the sympathy she'd felt for Dan drying up at the lost look on her best friend's face. "I'm sorry. Maybe I shouldn't have pushed you to talk to him."

"It's okay, Hales," he smiled, pulling her to him. "Maybe this needs to be worked out, one way or another. Either get some closure or – well, whatever."

"You think he's sincere?" she asked as she walked back around the counter. "I mean, do you think he really wants to have a relationship with you that isn't him being a jerk and you being pissy?"

"Hey, I don't get pissy," he protested with a smirk. "You must be thinking of Dan's other son."

She rolled her eyes. "Neither of you are averse to getting pissy, so don't even try and play that with me."

He grinned, "Okay, fine. Pissiness abounds, what can I say?"

"So, what was the outcome? I mean, not to be nosy or anything, but you are my brother-in-law, and best friend, and inquiring minds need to know!"

"I doubt there's any great need," Luke countered, "But there wasn't really an outcome. He just said his piece, and then left. That's pretty much it."

"That's it?" she asked doubtfully. "Come on, there has to be more to it than that! Was it about your medicine?"

Slowly, Luke shook his head. "No, he didn't mention that."

"No blackmail? Huh, how strange. If he keeps that up, he might lose his right to the 'Evil Mastermind' title and be struck by lightning from below if he tries the evil laugh again."

He groaned at that, shaking his head. "You're terrible, really, really terrible."

"Terrible? I think I'm offended," she giggled, throwing the towel at him. "Besides, I'm too cute too ever be terrible."

"Oh, you'd so like to think so, wouldn't you?" he laughed as the towel hit him in the face. "Well, one thing since you married Nathan – your aim has improved!"

She rolled her eyes, huffing out a puff of air. "Well, your comedic styling hasn't, that's also for sure."

"Damn," he muttered, pouting a little. "You suck. I can't believe you'd break out the low blows, Hales!"

She giggled. "You diss my mad skillz, I'll diss yours!"

"Well, isn't this sweet," Nathan's voice rang out from across the room. Haley's breath caught in her throat at the sight of him, and for one second, she could forget the renewal of his anger over their broken date last night.

"Hey, man," Luke greeted tentatively, unsurprised when Nathan totally ignored him. He rolled his eyes at Haley when Nathan walked over to her.

Haley, for her part, was totally fixated on Nathan. "Hi," she said, smiling softly, yet tentatively, at him. "How are you?"

He didn't smile at her, but he didn't look nearly as angry as he sounded last night, so she was counting her blessing on that one. "Can we talk? Outside or something?"

She looked at Luke, and he motioned for her to go. She nodded eagerly at Nathan, untying the apron around her waist and handing it to Luke as she followed Nathan towards the door.

"I'm glad you came by," she started as they walk out the door. "I know you're upset with me, and I get that, but Nathan, please, please believe that there is never a time when I'm not wishing you were with me. I constantly want you with me, and I hate that we're apart so much of the time these days. I hate that I made it that way."

"Hales – "

"And I hate that you have so little faith in me that you could seriously wonder about things you did last night!" she exclaimed, not noticing the amused smirk on his lips. "I hate that I've given you so many reasons to hate me that you think that little of me! I hate this, I hate all of it!"

"Hal – "

"I'm sorry, okay? I'm sorry for everything, all the things that I've done, all that I haven't, and all that I might! I'm sorry!"

"Haley!" he exclaimed, loudly and forcefully enough that she stops this time. "Jeez, I was thinking I might have to kiss you to shut you up."

She blinked at him in surprise. "And I suppose that would've been horrible for you, huh?" she sniped, unable to keep all traces of bitterness away.

"I didn't say that," he sighed, running a hand over his head. "Look, I came here to apologize. I was way out of line last night, and I know it. I knew it even as I said it that I was being a jerk and that it was uncalled for. I'm sorry."

She gaped at him in surprised wonderment. "W – what?"

"Sorry. S-o-r-r-y." He grinned down at her. "I am sorry," he drawled out as slowly as humanly possible. "I was a jerk. I'm sorry."

The hope in her eyes was so huge and overwhelming that it made him feel like he a light breeze would knock him on his ass. The fact that tears fill her eyes and her lower lip trembled really got the guilt kicking in, and he couldn't stand it anymore. He leaned down and dragged her to him, kissing her hard on the lips.

She didn't react immediately; it was like a delayed reaction caused by shock overload to her brain, but when she did, it was wholeheartedly. She threw her arms around him, not willing to let him away from her too quickly this time. Somehow in the heat of the kiss, she still had the presence of mind to figure he'd come to his senses and withdraw quicker than she'd like.

Sighing, he pulls back, resting his forehead against hers. She didn't push him for more, just contented herself with being in his arms, with feeling loved again. Loved by him.

"That was something," he commented quietly.

She murmured her agreement. "Good or bad?"

"Well, definitely not bad," he chuckled, leaning back far enough to look at her, to smile at her. Something like a smile shouldn't be so significant, but to her right now, it was. It was everything she needed, everything she wanted.

"Not bad at all," she agreed, tugging him back down for another kiss. "I've missed this."

"Me, too," he smiled, brushing a lock of hair off her cheek. "I've missed this, and I've missed you. It's – I don't know exactly what that means yet, but I want to keep trying."

"Me, too," she immediately agreed, tightening her arms around his neck. "That's all I want, Nathan. Just to try, to try with you. To try for you."

Seeking to reassure her, he pressed another, gentler, kiss to her lips. "We already are. And I'll probably be dumb about it sometimes, but you know that about me. I can be a real dumbass sometimes."

"Hey!" she interrupted, taking mock offense to his words. "That's my husband you're talking about! I don't appreciate that kind of slander of his intellectual capabilities!"

He grinned at her pulling her close. "Can we just, I don't know, promise to be honest with each other about things? Like, I can be honest and admit it like a man when I'm a jealous jerk, and you can be honest and tell me when I'm being a jerk. We need to trust each other again, and we can't do – "

"That without honesty," she finished up for him, the heavy mantle of guilt practically smothering her. She tried to rationalize it in her head, to tell herself that Luke's illness wasn't her secret to spill, and that she couldn't tell the truth on the others without telling the truth on that. Lying to everyone had been the worst part of this, bar none, but that was her burden to bear and her risk to take. She knew what it was going in, she'd known it since and she knew it now.

"Okay, so anything you need to be honest about?" he asked, half-anxious, half-hopeful.

Sighing, she bit her lower lip. "I – there are things I want to tell you, and I would if they were my secrets. But these are someone else's, and I can't break that promise. It's not mine to tell you. Not yet, at least"

He looked a myriad of things: skeptical, irritated, downright angry, resigned. "Look, obviously I can't make you tell me anything, right? But just know that it's important to me, knowing your secrets and you knowing mine."

"It isn't my secret, Nathan," she reiterated, sighing. "I'd tell you, god, I have wanted to tell you for as long as I've known. But I promised I would not tell anyone."

"And you won't break that promise?" he asked, even though he already knew the answer.

"I can't."

He nodded, running a hand through his hair. "Okay. Well, I guess that's that, then." A moment of panic flitted through her, assuming that 'that's that' meant that she'd failed and he was going to walk away again. Instead, he leaned down and kissed her again. "I'm trusting you, Hales. Trusting that this isn't something that I need to know about, that affects me."

She managed to keep from grimacing or crying, but it was a near thing. "I can't tell you, Nathan. That's all I can say about it."

Groaning, he laughed ruefully. "Yeah, yeah, I know. Okay. Well, I have to get to the gym. We have a voluntary weight training session," he explained, sneering at 'voluntary'. "You might want to remind Luke of it."

"Oh! Oh, he can't," she informed him, knowing that Luke had been feeling tired and rundown earlier. "He's got to stay here and watch the café for Karen. I'd do it, but I'm off in a bit to help Brooke with her stuff."

Nathan rolled his eyes, but to his credit, didn't say anything disparaging about Luke this time. "Yeah, okay." He leaned down and kissed her again. "Hey, you want to go out sometime? You pick the night this time, and that way you won't have to cancel."

She grinned, nodding eagerly. "I'll call you, or see you at school tomorrow."

She watched as he walked off, and she couldn't help but feel like things were finally going okay, even as she waited for the other shoe to drop.


	8. The Binding Ties

**Chapter Eight – ****The Binding Ties**

"Um, so I guess you're probably pretty pissed at me, huh?" Brooke asked Haley with a baleful expression on her face when she walked into their apartment. The girls hadn't seen each other in several days, as Brooke had been hiding out at the now empty Sawyer house while she dealt with her issues.

Haley regarded her cautiously, unsure how to deal with Brooke these days. She's up, she's down, she's left, she's right – what was she supposed to do with that? "What do you want me to say?" she asked, wariness present behind the words. "I just – I expected Peyton to say things like that, but not you. Not like that."

"I'm sorry," Brooke whispered brokenly.

"It's – you know, you know how hard I've been trying to atone for my mistakes, and you still said those things," Haley sighed sadly. "It hurt."

Brooke nodded feverishly, edging closer to where Haley was kicked back on the couch. "I know, and I'm sorry, Hales. I – I don't think those things. Luke was right; you went and chased your dream. Most of us are too afraid to ever do that."

"Oh, Brooke," Haley sighed, dragging her legs up against her chest and patting the spot beside her. Brooke sat down next to her, leaning her head on Haley's legs. "Let's just forget it, I know things have been hard lately. For everyone. But your best friend left, and things with Luke are tough. Believe me, I get it."

"Maybe she wasn't," Brooke mumbled, barely audible.

"Huh?" Haley asked absent-mindedly, running a hand over Brooke's hair.

"Maybe Peyton wasn't really so much my best friend, right?" Brooke clarified, sitting up. "I mean, best friends don't just leave, not like that. Not saying she loves my boy, not just leaving when she knew I didn't really have anyone else, not anyone like her. No family."

Haley regarded her solemnly, still not that excited at the prospect of defending Peyton, but knowing she probably should. "I'm sure it isn't like that," Haley sighed, shrugging at Brooke. "She just – you know how badly she's wanted a parent that would be there for her. This was her opportunity for that, you know?"

Brooke rolled her eyes. "They could've stayed here," she argued. "Ellie offered for them to stay here, so Peyton could finish up school. She just didn't want to be here anymore."

There wasn't much Haley could say that would take the sting out of that, so she didn't even bother with the platitudes on this one. "Well, then she sucks," she offered.

"Yeah, she does," Brooke agreed instantaneously, smiling widely. It dropped off her face into a shyer smile, though. "What you did – it was different. You were running towards something. She's running away. And Luke, he's right – I run away, too. And I don't want to run anymore."

Haley felt like rocks are settling in the pit of her stomach at Brooke's words. "What – um, what are you going to stop running from?"

Brooke shrugged carelessly. "Whatever comes my way. And you can wipe that terrified expression off your face; I know things are over with Luke. Some things just don't last."

"And when did you come to that conclusion?" Haley asked in surprise.

"Maybe I've known it all along," she shrugged, looking at her friend with sad eyes. "Maybe I've known that it was always Peyton for him, and vice versa. How messed up is that?"

Haley smiled kindly at her. "If I were him, I'd have chosen you in a second. You have more loyalty in your pinky finger than she has in her whole body. You're a good friend, Brooke Davis."

"Even when I'm being a jerk?"

"Especially then," Haley laughed. "Because sometimes we all need that, and sometimes we deserve it, too."

"You didn't deserve it," Brooke said seriously. "You do the best with what you have. I'm proud of you, and I think you should know that."

Haley looked down, tears in her own eyes this time. "Thanks, Brookie."

"So, what's going on with you and Nathan?" Brooke sniffed, her eyes teary and red-rimmed. "Any good news yet?"

"He kissed me," Haley admitted with a dreamy sigh as accompaniment. "It's not like anything is settled, but it's nice still. A relief, I guess."

"I'm glad," Brooke smiled softly, trying to wipe away the tracks of her tears. "You deserve happiness, Hales."

Haley smiled back at her, squeezing her hand. "Thanks, Brooke. That means a lot to me. I know you guys all have reasons to doubt me, to doubt my heart, but I promise you, it's here and it is one hundred percent for Nathan."

Brooke rolled her eyes. "I don't think anyone doubts that anymore. Well, maybe Nathan, but that's just residual insecurity on his part. You know why I think it was worse for Nathan than it would've been for most people?"

She debated giving her friend leave to continue, but her curiosity had been piqued enough that she couldn't help herself. "No, why?"

Brooke gave her what could only be described as the 'duh' look. "Because before you, Nathan Scott always got his way. Honestly, he got everything he wanted, and that changed some when you came into his life. He didn't know how to deal with not having everything go his way right away."

Haley raised an eyebrow. "Well, I mean, sure, Nathan is immature sometimes, but he's not so bad. You know that."

"Of course not," Brooke agreed breezily. "I just meant that when you're never challenged, when everything comes as easy as it did for him, the first time you don't get your way, you don't take it too well. I'm just saying."

Haley thought about what her friend was saying, and wondered if there wasn't some merit to it. If you were given almost everything, or even earned everything very easily, then maybe you weren't as conditioned to deal with it when things didn't fall the way you want them to.

"So, anyway," she said, gracelessly changing the subject, "Is it time to talk about your little situation yet?"

Brooke groaned, flopping back on the couch. "I don't even want to think about that nightmare, much less talk about it. God, I cannot even believe all that crap."

"Well, we're not going to just lie down and take it," Haley assured her. "It's bogus, and everyone knows it. And we're going to make sure everyone knows it isn't okay, either!"

Brooke looked at her doubtfully, her eyes barely open. "I don't know, somehow I'm thinking the administration doesn't care all that much if they let it happen in the first place," she pointed out. "Maybe it isn't even worth it!"

"Of course it is worth it!" Haley exclaimed, nudging her friend on the thigh with her foot. "God, I can't believe you're letting this defeatism creep in now! We haven't even started to fight this, and you're all ready to give up. That's pathetic, Brooke Davis!"

To Haley's surprise, Brooke started laughing. "You reminded me of myself with that little speech," Brooke gasped out at Haley's questioning look. "It was just weird."

She wasn't too sure what to make of that, so Haley just smiled back at her, shrugging. "Right, well, anyway, like I was saying, I'm not letting you give up on this. Even if I have to resort to sounding like you to do it!"

"Oh, you're twisted and evil, I love it," Brooke crowed, clapping her hands delightedly. She sobered after a second, the weight of her predicament crashing back down upon her. "I just don't know if any of this will do any good."

"Well, maybe it won't," Haley conceded, "But would you rather let them screw you over like this? Brooke, this doesn't just impact what you do in high school, you know! This impacts how colleges look at you! They are taking things away from you that aren't even tangible yet!"

Brooke looked back at her friend, a resigned expression on her face. "If they aren't tangible, do they matter?"

"If you roll over on this, Brooke Penelope Davis, I will have to kill you in your sleep!" Haley warned her with mock menace. Softening, she sighed. "Listen, you're right in thinking this will be hard. And you're right in thinking there are no guarantees in this. I can't even promise we'll win."

"We?" Brooke asked quietly, uncharacteristically subdued.

"Hell, yes, we!" she half hollered in return. "I am not hanging you out to dry on this. I'm a good friend, contrary to what everyone apparently thinks these days."

Brooke smiled widely at her friend and roommate's assertion. "I know that. Never doubted it even for a second, Hales. But this is above and beyond anything that anyone has ever done for me."

Haley looped an arm around her shoulders. "We'll figure something out. You aren't going down like this, not without a fight."

"But I'm so good at going down," Brooke teased, a little of her old sparkle entering her eyes. "I'm kidding. Well, that's actually true, but I'm just playing."

"I know," Haley laughed, hugging her. "We will do something about this. You just have to be on board and willing to work. Hard work, Davis."

"Oh, I am!" Brooke promised, nodding enthusiastically. "I want my damn life back."

Haley nodded, leaning back against the soft couch cushions. "Then we're going to get it back for you." She doesn't know how or when, but she means what she just promised.

Maneuvering behind the counter of her café, mindful of the piping hot pot of coffee in her hand, Karen reflexively looked up when the bell on the door jingled, announcing a new customer. To her surprise, Dan was standing in the doorway, looking around awkwardly. She quirked an eyebrow at him, letting him see the questions she had over his appearance here.

"Hi," he greeted, his voice gruffer than he'd have liked, softer than she cared for. "I just came to see you. I mean, to talk about Luke, of course."

"I'm not sure what there is to talk about," she said warily, busying herself wiping off the counter. "You and Luke, if you want to work things out, then that's between the two of you. Not me. I can't do that for you, Danny."

They both started at her use of his childhood nickname. When he left Karen behind, he left that part of himself behind, as well. Now, only his mother and brother used it, and the latter mockingly. If anything, the level of awkwardness around them ratcheted up tenfold.

"I'm not asking for your help," he promised, in some ways more to fill the uncomfortable silence than anything else. "I sort of wanted to get your opinion on something. Run something by you, see what you think of it."

She arched a brow at him, more curious than she'd care to admit. "If it is campaign slogans, I was never good at coming up with cute catchphrases."

That elicited a small smile from him, and she hated that the sight of it hit her in the heart a tiny bit. "Actually, I had this idea, and I was wondering if you think this is a good idea, a good way for me to hopefully make a new start with Luke, and Nathan, too." This time she shifted in apprehension, dropping the dishrag to the counter. He sighed, noting her reaction. "I wouldn't ask for anything, Kar. Nothing other than the use of a table in here once or twice a week, and maybe an hour or two of your time, if you'd eat with us."

"You do realize that for some reason, the boys aren't on the best of terms right now, don't you?" she asked faintly, not caring that she was letting on how flustered he was making her. "Maybe doing a group bonding session isn't your best bet."

He nodded, letting her off the hook in regards to her obvious discomfort with all of this. "Maybe this will help with that," he offered, bitterness clogging his throat. "They bonded over their mutual hatred of me once before, maybe they can do it again."

"I hope you don't expect me to feel sorry for you," Karen began, about to go on when he held up his hand.

"I can be an inexplicably foolish man in many, many regards," he said huskily, looking at her with an intensity that she couldn't tear her gaze away from. "And I've made the kind of mistakes that have wrecked me. But I know better than that, and I don't want you or anyone else feeling sorry for me. Just the same, knowing that I've made mistakes and that I deserve where I'm at doesn't mean that I don't want to work for better, especially with my sons."

"You talk like it will be easy," she retorted, shaking her head at him. "You act like you deserve another chance from those boys. You act like everyone should forget how you treated them, and let bygones be bygones."

He shook his head, rolling his eyes at her. "You don't know what you're talking about," he hissed. "There is nothing I want more than to forge at least civil relationships with both of my sons. I don't have anything else anymore, but maybe one day I can have that. And you know what? It would be enough. It really would."

She sighed, torn between giving in and pitying him, believing him just a smidge and brushing him off. "What you're hoping," she countered softly, "It's a lot. More than you have a right to ask from either of those boys, Dan. I just hope you can keep that in mind when you're dealing with them."

He took a seat on one of the stools. "I know that, Kar. I see that every day when I look in the mirror and I wonder how I got so old and so alone. I see the empty places at my table they could be filling, or the kids that work at the dealership – that could be them. Or if things had been different, if I'd been different, maybe we could play basketball together. They'd be on the same team, and I'd have to tell them to go easy on me, because I'm old and rickety."

"Dan," she sighed, shaking her head. "That's – god, what's wrong with you? Why couldn't you have gotten this years ago?"

"I don't know," he sighed. "Maybe it's just in my face now. What I could've had, what I did have, what I'm missing now. As if the empty house isn't enough, I have Haley James breathing down my neck five days a week reminding me of all of it."

Karen took a deep breath at the mention of Haley. She'd become nearly as fiercely protective of her as she was of Lucas. "Speaking of Haley, I think that it is time that someone told me what is going on there. Why is she working for you? Why did you hire her?"

"There isn't some great dastardly plan there," he told her, even though he knew she wouldn't believe it for a single second. "She's smart," he admitted, surprisingly free of reluctance. "Smarter than I gave her credit for. I think I might actually respect her a little bit."

She raised an eyebrow at him, unsure how to respond to that. "That's all fine and well, Dan, but the fact remains, she's not working for you because it is fun. And you didn't hire her to be nice. So what was it? Are you blackmailing her? Holding some information you have on Nathan over her head?"

He shook his head, fighting the urge to roll his eyes. It would hardly do to get impudent over her assumptions. "The truth is, she approached me with something, and this was the trade-off. I helped her, she's helping me."

"What the hell could you have possibly helped her with?" Karen wanted to know, keeping her voice low so as not to draw attention from the few customers littering the tables.

"That's her business," Dan said neutrally. "Part of the deal was that we'd keep it between ourselves." Sighing, he leant forward. "Look, this really isn't what I came here to talk to you about."

"Yeah, you want to talk about my son," Karen grumbled, irritated with his vague answers and sidestepping. "But Haley affects my son. And if you're hurting her, if you're forcing her to work for you, so help me God – "

"It isn't like that, Kar!" he exclaimed, not caring that all eyes are on them now. "She and I might snap at each other a bit, and we don't trust each other, but it's not bad. I'm not hurting her, I'm not forcing her to do anything she doesn't want to. I'm not even that rude to her very often. It's a business arrangement, and believe me, she's coming out on top in terms of compensation and benefits."

Karen shook her head. "I just don't get it," she sighed. "Haley won't tell me what's going on, says she 'can't', and you won't tell me, but hey, I couldn't expect anything there. I just feel like there is something that I should know, something that I'm missing here. She's never hid anything from me before."

He didn't think he'd ever felt this strong of a wave of guilt before, but there it was, beating down on him. With everything that he had, with everything that he was, he wanted to tell Karen the truth about Luke's illness. He wanted to take her in his arms and hold her while he promised her that they'd make sure he was okay.

He couldn't, of course. And he couldn't tell, either, because that would break things with Luke forever, and he knew that. Rock, meet the hard place. He was the nearly non-existent space between.

"Hey," she greeted carefully as the door swings open, eyeing her mother-in-law warily. "Is Nathan here?"

"He's upstairs," Deb answered cordially, enough so that Haley wondered just how good this divorce had been for her. "Why don't you go ahead and go up?"

"Thanks," was Haley's quiet response, and she stepped past the older woman, making her way up the stairs. She paused in front of Nathan's room, taking a deep breath before knocking.

"Go away, Mom," was the muffled response that she got. Ignoring it, she opened the door, pushing her way in. "I told you to go away," he grumbled, hunched over the keyboard of his computer.

"You told your mom to go away, and since I'm not her…"

"Haley," he said dumbly, his head snapping up and around to look at her. "What – did I forget something? Was I supposed to meet you?"

She shook her head, hand still on the doorknob as she hovered in the doorway. "I just wanted to talk to you. To see you."

"Yeah, okay," he agreed, motioning towards the bed. "Just close the door behind you. Mom has been extra nosy lately. I don't know what her problem is."

"What are you working on?" Haley asked him as she settled herself on the bed. "Anything I can help with."

"You don't have to come over here and do my homework, Haley," he told her. "That's not going to magically fix things."

She nodded, looking down at the quilt she was sitting on top of. "I didn't think it would. I was just offering to help if I could."

He sighed, guilt for being so snippy, so instigative with her. "I'm sorry, ignore me. I have an English exam tomorrow – we have to write an essay on Macbeth, and I'm nowhere near prepared enough for it."

"If I can help, I'd like to," she told him, but he shook his head. "Really, Nathan, you know me, tutor geek extraordinaire."

He got up from his desk chair, moving over to sit down at the head of the bed. He patted the space beside him, and she scooted up to sit next to him. "I don't want to waste our time studying," he told her seriously. "We can talk or watch a movie. Hey, maybe we could go to the store and get Macbeth to watch! That shit's gotta be a movie, right?"

"Probably," she agreed, smiling shyly at him. "If that's what you want to do, that's fine with me. I'm good to go."

He shifted so that he was turned towards her, his knees brought up, resting against her thighs. "Let's just stay here, huh?"

"Yeah, if you want, then I'd like that," she agreed, her smile widening. Just the simple feel of the weight of his knee resting against her leg felt safe and like home to her. "Um, so how are your classes going? Besides Macbeth, of course."

He smiled at her, reaching under her legs to lift and drop them on top of his. "Classes are classes, Hales. Do you really want to talk about school?"

She grinned at that, relaxing a little bit back into the cushion of pillows against the headboard. "No, I suppose I don't want to talk about school. I'm just not sure what we can talk about."

A bit of his smile faded away at that truth, and he sighed as he rested his forearms on her legs. "Well, what did you have in mind when you came over here?"

She shrugged dismissively. "I don't really know."

"Well, you must've at least had an idea of what you wanted to talk about, right?" he pressed. "We can talk about that."

"Really, Nathan, I just wanted to see you. A, um, a part of me figured you wouldn't want to see me." He raised his eyebrows at her, and she shrugged again, this time rueful. "I don't know! It's hard! I want to do and say a million things, but I'm so afraid that the one I start with will be the wrong one, and it will just slam the door shut on the progress that we've made. I don't want to do that."

"Hales," he tried to break in, dismayed over the tears forming in her eyes, but she kept going, venting her fears.

"And then, what if what I say the first time is okay, and even the second and fifth and twentieth? And then, then I say the wrong thing the hundredth time, and I've got all this hope built up, and – and – and it's wrong, and I don't deserve it, and I lose you again, and I can't lose you again, Nathan!" she cried. "I can't, I can't. I just can't do that!"

He pulled her onto his lap, shushing at her. "Hales, shh, baby, shh."

"I'm sorry," she hiccupped, inwardly furious with herself for losing it like this. She wiped at her eyes, trying to get rid of some of the mess of makeup she was sure was there. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to do that. God, I really did not want to do that tonight. This was – it was just so surprising that you didn't kick me out, and I'm overreacting, and I'm sorry."

"Don't apologize, Hales."

"There's a lot I have to apologize for," she reasoned. "Maybe that's what we should talk about tonight."

He shook his head, disagreeing. "I don't want to talk about the heavy stuff tonight," he told her, pulling her a little closer. "I'd rather just sit here like this, and let it all be."

She relaxed in his arms, drooping against him a little bit. She couldn't help but think that perhaps the secrets she'd been keeping, and the need to always be alert around Dan have wound her up to the point where she just snapped. She couldn't think of any other rational reason for her mini breakdown just now. It didn't matter, she supposed, since Nathan was so nice about it and she was in his arms now, but that was not the way she wanted to do this. She didn't want tears to suck Nathan in, and she didn't want him with her because he felt guilty.

"What are we doing?" she asked after a few minutes, lifting her head from his chest to look in his eyes.

"I'm holding you," he replied, winking at her. "If you don't know…"

"Don't joke," she admonished lightly, sighing. "I mean it. Do you just feel sorry for me? I mean, because I started crying like a ridiculous baby."

He shook his head slowly, brushing an errant strand of hair off her face. "I don't feel sorry for you, Hales. There are a lot of things that you make me feel, but pity isn't one of them. I don't know how to define what this is, but I'm not doing it to jerk you around or make you feel bad. I'm not."

She nodded, cuddling against his chest. "I never thought you were," she sighed. "And I never thought it was more than I deserved, either. I know I messed up by leaving, Nathan. I get that. But now I just want to put that behind us so that we can move forward. I want to be your wife again."

He took a deep breath, unsure of how to respond. A part of him felt ready to let go, and move forward like she wanted. But the other part of him, the brain part, told him that it was too soon, the hurt too fresh. He just wasn't ready to forgive, forget and give her back all the power she had over him and his heart. He just wasn't ready to be vulnerable again.

It was just hard to say no to her when she was lying on his chest, about as vulnerable as he'd ever seen her. It hurt him to know that he was hurting her, and somehow, that took away a bit of the sting from the hurt she caused. Not much, but some, since he knew that she was truly sorry. That she meant it when she said she'd take it back, that she'd give anything to take his hurt away. He believed that of her, because he felt the same way.

Sighing, he pressed a kiss to her forehead. "I can't – I'm not ready to give you that yet, Hales."

Pulling away from him, she moved back over to the other side of the bed, smiling sadly at him. "Yeah, I know, I'm asking for a lot."

"I'm trying," he whispered, hurt that she'd pull away from him. "I just can't give you that yet. It takes time, I guess."

She nodded again, looking blankly over at his dresser. He knew that she saw the spaces where pictures of her should be, where pictures of them should be. Every little thing seemed painful these days, like it was putting more space between them even as they eased closer together.

"Maybe I should get going," she said quietly into the silence. "I could start working on Brooke's case."

He didn't want her to go – he knew that much, he could deal with that much. "Stay, Hales," he implored her, grabbing her hand and sandwiching it between his own. "I don't want you to leave."

She managed a smile for him, slightly brighter than he expected, and he was proud of her. Proud that she was strong enough to fight for him, for them. Proud that she was holding on for both of them, even when he couldn't, and wouldn't.

"I don't want to go," she said firmly. "It's nice to be here with you."

"Even if I can't give you what you want?" he asked, his voiced clipped to mask the insecurities behind the questions.

She smirked at him, mimicking his own favorite look so well. "Maybe that makes it just that much more important."

He grinned back at her, laughing as she swung her legs back over his. "See, that's one thing I love most about you, Haley; you always see the bright side and take the challenge in things."

As he turned his attention to grabbing the remote and yakking about what they might watch, she knew that he didn't realize what he had said. She knew that it just slipped out, and somehow, that was even better than if he had said it thoughtfully.

When she showed up for work the next morning, tired as all get out and not looking forward to another day of bantering and bickering with Dan, she was still practically floating over Nathan's inadvertent admission from the night before. Some things stuck with you, what could she do?

But now here she was, ready to get knee-deep in work on Dan's campaign, as well as handling any clerical work that came up from the dealership. It wasn't ideal – if things were, she'd be with Nathan right now, not skulking around trying to avoid his father. That's possibly as far from ideal as she could get.

Then again, she wasn't sure exactly why she was avoiding him. By all accounts, he seemed…different, for lack of a better word. Of course, in the case of Dan Scott, different was not bound to be a good thing ninety percent of the time. Maybe even more often than that. Here he was, though, acting all human and feeling, and damn it, she didn't know what she should do with that. Did she take it at face value? Dismiss it outright? He seemed to genuinely care for both of his boys, the two most important people in her world, and it seemed to be geared to more than just what glory they could bring him.

And that was new and exciting. She'd never, not one single time, gotten this vibe from him before. It was baffling, at best, and downright shocking at worst. Granted, he still didn't seem all that thrilled with her place in the boys' lives, but she had to grant that it seemed like he was even beginning to accept that. Which was extra scary in and of itself.

For all the hard time that she was having accepting this allegedly kinder, gentler Dan, she knew that Nathan and Lucas, and Karen for that matter, were probably having a far, far harder time. Because they'd lived with the ruthless Dan Scott, the one that coldly turned his back on one son while nearly creating a monster in his image out of the other. The effects were deeper for all of them, and even if she could trust that he was sincere in his assertions that getting to know his boys was a priority to him, the only priority, she knew that it might not be something they'd ever trust or believe.

"Haley," he greeted, as she shuffles past his office, pretending to be concentrating on the papers in her hands, "Could you come in here for a second?"

She blinked, removing her reading glasses. "Can I help you?" she asked formally, wincing at the brisk sound of her voice.

"I don't know," he sighed. "I hope so. How's Luke doing? You don't have to tell me any details about his personal life, I just meant with the medications. Are they helping? Any side effects? Are they affecting him in any way?"

God damn him and his actually believable worry for Luke. It pained her that he's fostering all this…good will, for lack of a better term, from her. His concern was evident, as was his caring. She can't discount that, no matter how much she kept trying.

"He's okay, Dan. I don't know that you'll believe this, but if something was wrong, I would tell you. If he wasn't reacting well to the meds, or he gets worse, I'd tell you. I'd have to tell Karen, and piss him off forever, but I'd tell both of you. That's – that's not something I'd hide for him."

"I believe that," Dan stated solemnly. "I even believe that you'd tell me. Obviously, Karen was no question, but I do believe you'd tell me. Would you tell Nathan?"

"If something was immediately wrong with Luke? God, of course," she asserted hotly, her back up at the mention of her husband's name. "It's on the tip of my tongue to tell him now, half the time."

"Why haven't you?" Dan asked mildly, belying his interest in the matter.

She shrugged, fiddling with her glasses. "I promised Luke," she sighed. "I think in some ways, he wants Nathan to know even less than he wants his mother to. I can't talk him out of it, and you can believe me, I've tried."

Dan nodded thoughtfully. "Stubbornness seems to be a standard Scott trait. Some of it has even rubbed off on you." He smirked at her raised eyebrows. "What? Surprised I acknowledged the familial connection? As much as I'd like to deny it, it is a little hard when it's flashed in my face in the form of that wedding band of yours."

"It's always one step forward, one back with you, isn't it?" she sighed. "Like, you actually seem human for ten minutes, but then you say or do something that brings it all back around to where we started."

"I wasn't trying to be rude," he countered, rolling his eyes. "Listen, of all the things I've said about you and Nathan's little adventures in playing house, I'd think that was fairly mild."

"Does it even matter?" she asked snippily, putting her glasses back on. "Like a lesser insult or degrading or dismissive comment has less impact? Do you have any concept of why exactly Nathan and Luke don't trust you? Did you ever stop and think that maybe – just maybe – it was because of things like that?"

He tipped his head back, his smirk dissolving into sarcastic laughter. "Come on, they aren't girls!"

She gaped at him, unsure of where to even begin with that. "You just don't get it, Dan! My God, not even the toughest person in the world wants to have snarky, assy comments directed at them all the time!"

"No, you don't get it!" he countered. "Those are my boys, and they – they should know that – that – "

"That what?" she exclaimed in exasperation, a cynical laugh bubbling past her lips. "That you 'don't mean it that way'? That 'they're just too sensitive'? Do you even hear yourself? Really, I'd like to know."

"You don't understand!" Dan countered angrily. "You could never understand because you're young, and you're selfish!"

"So? You're old and selfish! And I'm working damn hard to fix the mistakes that I made, so don't you dare throw it in my face!"

"Then why are you throwing the ones I've made in mine?" he asked quietly, and the wind flew out from both of their arguments. Haley took a deep breath, looking up at the ceiling. Dan regarded her for a minute before sighing. "You're right, I suppose."

She tore her gaze away from the ceiling to study his face. "About…what?" she asked cautiously.

"About everything, I suppose," he answered, this time there was no bitterness in his voice. "That I'm an awful father, that I have no business trying to mend my relationships with the boys. And even worse, I have no business pointing out the failures and flaws of other people."

"We all make mistakes," she ended up sighing. "I suppose that in the end, it is how we deal with them that matters."

He nodded, sighing heavily. "That sounds surprisingly relevant," he sniffed. "More than I'd have imagined could be produced by a seventeen year old girl."

She didn't rise to the bait; instead, she merely arched a brow at him. "Yeah, imagine that, the great Dan Scott learning something from his son's wife. Such a shock," she deadpanned, even though she wasn't really malicious in saying it. Not like she had been in some of her other dealings with him. It was just…different now. She didn't know if it was because she could sympathize with him now, or if he had actually changed in some way, some indefinable way.

Whatever it was, it was creepy. Nice, she supposed, in an overly cautious, wait and see kind of way, but still creepy.

"I love my boys," he said softly. "Now I want to know them, too."

"It'll take time," she noted pointedly. "Neither of them are really predisposed to trust your motives anymore."

"Thanks for pointing that out, Captain Obvious."

"I'm just saying," she shrugged, a touch defensive. It bothered her to feel like she was being tricked or had, like she was falling for lies that Dan was telling. It really bothered her that she wasn't even sure if he was lying anymore.

He nodded, looking thoughtful. "I know a little about how Luke is doing from Karen and you. But I don't know how Nathan's doing?"

She shrugged, not sure what to say. With Luke, Dan's knowledge of his condition was a little more crucial in the grand scheme of things. It took a little heat off of her if he was up-to-date on how his medicine was working, if he was going to his appointments. But Nathan didn't have any health problems, and talking about him with Dan didn't feel right. It felt like she was betraying her husband, and she was pretty sure she'd done enough of that to last a million lifetimes.

"If you want to know, pick up the phone and call him," she suggested curtly. "I'm not your message service, or your spy. If it's that important to you, find out from him. That's about the only way you'll ever gain an inch from Nathan anyway, and we both know that."

He turned around, leaning forward to rest his hands against the sill of the large picture window. "I've begun to doubt I'll ever get that anyway."

"I can't help you," Haley warned, twisting a lock of hair around her finger. "You have to figure this out yourself, and do it on your own."

"Thanks, I hadn't figured that out from the first eight hundred times you told me that," he snarked back, not even turning around. "You think you've got it all figured out, don't you? You think there is no way either of the boys will ever really let me in, but they'll both forgive you in a heartbeat for betraying them by working for me. Do you really think either of them are that easy?"

She scoffed, wishing she had more than just papers in her hand. Objects that would make better throwing devices.

"I've never thought it would be easy, and I know exactly what the risks are for me in this," she stated flatly. "But hey, if they find out and cut me out of their lives forever, at least Luke will be getting heart meds. That's more important to me than my own happiness."

"Is it really?" he asked. "Because I've seen how wrapped up you are in making sure Nathan is coddled, too. You're completely wrapped up in him, and you're obviously willing to do whatever it takes to get him back. Your happiness is too tied in with his."

"Well, he's my husband!" she exclaimed, and he turned from his perch at the window to watch her. "Of course his happiness matters to me! And I'm going to fight like hell to make sure his happiness is with me."

He sighed, looking at her with something akin to pity. "Have you ever thought that you're too wrapped up in him, that too much hinges on whether or not he takes you back?"

"And have you ever thought," she retorted, "That too little of your heart hinges on what your family thinks and feels of you? Come on, Daddy Dan! You can tell my truths, why don't you tell your own?"

She smirked knowingly as he turned away to again stare out the window. "You think that too little of my heart hinges on my family?"

"No," she corrected tiredly. "I think too much does, but in all the wrong ways. You just pour it all into basketball, the rest of life be damned. And if they don't cooperate with you there, then you can't seem to relate to them in any other way."

"You're killing me here," he laughed without the barest trace of humor. "You say you can't give me advice, and yet here you are, spewing out exactly what I've done wrong."

"Don't worry, it isn't advice, just observation. You can do with it as you please; you always do anyway, right?"

He turned around again to stare at her hard, almost imploring her to see something there. "I want to make things different with my boys now."

"And I've said before that I believe that," she sighed. "But it really isn't up to me, is it?"

With that, without waiting for a response, she turned and walked out of his office, leaving the intensity of the conversation behind her. The back and forth that always happened with Dan was just too much for her to take any longer. He knew what to say to wound her, to make her doubt that she'd ever get her life with Nathan back, and she couldn't always handle those reminders. She also didn't particularly care that he could turn her into a raging shrew with quid pro quo tendencies quicker than anyone else in the world.

Maybe one day things would go back to normal. Then again, what was normal?


	9. You Know Not What You Do

**Chapter Nine – ****You Know Not What You Do**

When she woke up the next morning, she was practically floating. Dan, in a freakish act of benevolence, had offered her a day off and she didn't even have to pull an all-nighter to get it this time. One entire Sunday to do with as she pleased. Of course, as she pleased was with Nathan, and she was pleasantly surprised when he agreed to a date. He offered to do the planning, which was great for her, but it left her with too much time to fret and worry over how things would play out on this date.

And that's why she was getting ready to rain fire and brimstone upon herself by flopping down next to a sleeping Brooke. Who barely stirred. Reaching out, Haley poked her on the arm, loudly whispering her name. "Brooke! Wake up!" When her roommate failed to respond that, Haley heaved out a sigh before trying again without the whispering this time. "WAKE UP, BROOKE!"

"I'm up!" Brooke yelled in startled response, frantically moving her head from side to side. It's not like she could see anything with her sleep mask on. "Oh, is there a fire?" Haley stared at her, glancing around. "Okay, no fire. Then do you know what time it is?"

"Well, yeah, of course I know what time it is," Haley answered, sighing. She knew where this was going, and she really didn't want to take the time to go there. "Do you know what time it is?"

Brooke glared at her through the mask. She could feel the glare. "So you know what time it is. Well, do you know what day it is? Because by my calendar, it's Sunday. And on Sundays, it doesn't matter what time it is. If Brooke is sleeping on a Sunday, you let Brooke sleep! If she's sleeping at nine, let her sleep. Noon? Let her keep sleeping! Four in the damn afternoon?"

"Yeah, yeah, let her sleep. And since when did you start sounding like Joey from 'Friends'?" Haley rolled her eyes. "I know you want to sleep, but Brooke I need your help. Your very, very genius help."

"No, it's Sunday, Haley! We don't think or help or move on Sundays! Go to work already," she groused, sitting up suddenly, pulling off the sleep mask. "Ooh, are you ready to tell me where you're working?"

Haley rolled her eyes. "No, I'm not telling you where I'm working," she sighed. "It's not a big deal. Look, I have the day off, and I need advice on how to act with Nathan tonight."

Pointedly pulling the sleep mask back down, Brooke fell back into her pillows. "Give him a blow job. That'll solve all your problems, I'm sure."

Sighing, Haley climbed off the bed. "Yeah, fine, thanks for nothing," she grumbled, stomping out of the room. She knew it was childish, but she took some delight in slamming the door as loudly as she could behind her, earning an incoherent shout from Brooke.

"Damn it," she muttered aloud, "Now what am I going to do?"

When Nathan had called her yesterday to iron out their plans, she'd actually done a giddy little dance at that, twirling around in circles in the show room of the dealership. To her surprise, Dan had watched her with nothing visible beside amusement on his face. That was…creepy, to say the least.

But for once, he didn't look appalled or horrified or even irritated that she and Nathan would be spending time together. He even managed to refrain from making any belittling remarks, which was probably considered a minor miracle. That was probably the biggest shock of all – he didn't say anything.

She'd take it, though; even if it did creep her out terribly. Maybe at some point he'd drop his mission to get her out of Nathan's life altogether.

Yeah, and maybe he'd wear a pink tutu and scary, butch combat boots, too.

Okay, so it wasn't likely, but it gave her a little bit to work with, and she liked that. So the next time she saw him all vulnerable, which was weird in and of itself, or worried about one of the boys, she could remember this. She could remember this, and maybe she'd be able to help him if his quest is sincere.

So. Damn. Weird.

Pushing all thoughts of Dan out of her head, she set herself to worrying about how things would go tonight. Maybe she shouldn't be nervous like this, nearly a wreck, but this was a big deal for her. Huge, even.

When the doorbell rang, she instinctively let out a happy squeal and jumped up to runs for the door. Realizing belatedly how desperate that makes her seem, she paused. "Oh, hell," she moaned, leaning against the door that she knew he's standing behind. Probably hearing each dumb thing she did and said to herself. Fantastic.

Resigned to looking like a jerk, she pushed away from the wall she'd leaned on and went to answer the door. He was standing there, smiling in a way that had her forgetting everything else as she smiled back at him. She motioned him inside, but he shook his head.

"I – it's too weird," he said quietly, referring to the fact that this was once their place, not Brooke's with her as a roommate.

A lump filled her throat, but she nodded in understanding. "Yeah, let me just grab my coat. I can meet you down at the car?"

He nodded, smiling in relief that she didn't push it. "Okay, sounds good."

He pulled the door shut behind him, and as he walked off, she had to grip the back of the couch. He built her up and tore her down in a second, with seemingly little thought. God, how that hurt. It wasn't even something he was doing deliberately, but oddly enough, that didn't soothe her at all.

After she grabbed her jacket, she hurried out the door, running into his chest as she turned after locking the deadbolt. She blinked up at him in confusion, a smile creeping over her face when his arms came around her to steady her. "I thought you were waiting at the car."

"I – I was going to," he agreed, looking around warily, glancing up at the number across the door to their former domicile. "But I didn't want to wait."

In an instant, blinding, choking fear had her throat closing and tingles of panic shooting down her arms into her fingers. "You haven't changed your mind about today, have you?" she choked out, terrified of his answer.

"What? No, of course not," he assured her, watching her carefully. "I just meant I didn't want to wait for you. I – I want to be with you."

"Oh," was her genius response, which had her inwardly cringing. "Sorry, I suppose panic is really unbecoming, huh?"

He was silent, and she could tell that she had made him uncomfortable. "It's not that, it's just, I don't know what I'm supposed to do with it, Hales."

She nodded, knowing that she was the one who was supposed to be making things easy for him, and she was choking. Blowing it. Doing all the wrong things in all the wrong ways. "Right, well, you don't have to do anything with it. Let's just start this date over. Well, presuming, of course, I haven't completely blown it, I guess."

"Of course you haven't," he told her, a little more comfortable as she calmed down. "I'm not quite that easy to scare off."

"Thank God for that," she laughed wryly to herself, turning to lock the door behind her. "So, I asked Brooke for advice, can you believe that? What she offered involved sexual favors. A shock, yeah?"

He laughed at that, "I'd like to say that surprises me, but somehow, it really doesn't."

She blushed when her stomach growled, shrugging apologetically. "I don't suppose our plans include food, huh? It's lame to admit this, but I was too nervous to eat! And no teasing!"

"Why not?" he laughed some more. "It's fun, cut me a little slack. After all, I've got lots of teasing time to make up for, right?"

It stunned her that he felt that way, that making up for time lost was even something he'd been thinking about in a broad sense. "So that means I have to just sit back and take it?" she mused, tapping her fingers on her chin. "Hmm, I don't know how I feel about that, Nathan."

"Who said anything about taking it? The Haley Scott that I know wouldn't just sit back and take anything. She'd give as good as she got."

It took all her willpower not to throw her arms around his neck and wrap her legs around his waist in an embrace so tight that it'd take the jaws of life to pry them apart as he opened the car door for her. Somehow she managed to keep it together. But he just called her Haley Scott. That had to mean something, it absolutely had to. He hadn't applied that name to her in so, so long, and it's rather obvious to her that he was oblivious to having done it now. That didn't take away from it, though. She really did believe that the unconscious slips meant a lot more than anything else.

At least he still thought of her as a Scott subconsciously. And even though it wouldn't do her any good until he acknowledged it consciously, she knew it meant something. It had to mean something, if not everything. Really, this was what she's wanted, the only thing she had really wanted from him since she came back. Since before that, really. Since they married and said those vows promising to love each other forever. She'd wanted him to think of her as his family. And maybe she had that back now. At the very least, maybe she was getting closer.

"So, where are we going?" Haley asked, mostly to break the quiet that has fallen between them as he drove them out of town.

"Maybe that's a surprise," Nathan retorted coyly, glancing over to wink at her before his face fell a bit. "You know, it really isn't all that exciting. I don't know why I'm so dumb that I'd build it up to something it isn't. That it won't live up to."

Blinking in surprise, she reached over to grab his hand. "Nathan, I just want to be with you. That's all. I don't care where we go or what we do as long as I get to spend some time with you. That is honestly so all that matters to me. Being with you is the only thing I care about." She paused, giving his hand a gentle squeeze. "Honestly, Nathan, as long as we are somewhere that we can talk and laugh and just be with each other, then it's great. Better than great, all things considered."

He was the one who looked slightly surprised now, caught a touch off-guard by her quiet fervency. "Yeah," he nodded, managing a small smile for her. "I guess I just want things to go well tonight. I – this is important to me, Hales."

"Oh, Nathan, it's important to me, too. This is the most important thing to me, actually." Smiling widely as she gained a little confidence, Haley raised his hand to her mouth, brushing her lips over his knuckles. Her action elicited a surprised yet pleased grin from him. "I have an evening off of work that is free of homework, and I get to spend it with you."

"And that's enough?"

"More than enough," she assured him immediately. "Not to sound completely, hopelessly desperate or pathetic, but this is the most important thing to me, being able to spend time with you. It wouldn't matter to me if we just drove around in circles all night if we did it together."

He smiled at her even though he felt a bit at a loss over her fervency. That it was so easy for her to declare these personal, private things so easily was yet another thing that threw him off balance. He had the hardest time sharing those pieces of himself, and that had only become more pronounced since Haley left and more so since her return. He didn't exactly blame her for his inability to trust and be open since his parents clearly screwed him up in myriad ways, but her leaving had undone all the progress she'd helped him make. Maybe it wasn't fair to her, but there was a part of him that held it against her.

"How do you do it?" he asked quietly, glancing sideways to catch her brow furrowing in confusion. "How can you just say those things like none of the bad stuff ever happened? I don't get it, Haley."

Whatever she expected him to say, it definitely wasn't that. It…hurt, like it always did when her mistakes are thrown into her face, and she wasn't sure how she was supposed to answer this. "I don't know what else to say," she admitted quietly. "I guess I just tell the truth about my feelings because it's too hard to lie. I don't know, Nathan. I've always been like this."

He nodded, focusing his gaze on the road. "Well, I'm not. Like that, I mean. I never really was, and I doubt I ever will be."

"Pull over," she ordered quietly, ignoring the beginnings of the protest that was forming on his lips. "I mean it, Nathan, pull over now." Even though he was worried she's planning on getting out here on the highway and hitching back to Tree Hill, he complied. "Thank you," she said softly as the car slowed to a stop.

"Why'd we stop?" he asked after setting the brake. "If you think I'm letting you out of this car, you have another thing coming."

"Get out?" she repeated, her nose crinkling up as she glanced out the window. "I don't want out, Nathan. I don't want out of anything with you – this car, our marriage, nothing."

After a moment, he nodded. "Then why did we stop?" he asked again.

"Because you need to hear something, and I want you completely focused on me when I say it," she explained softly. He shrugged, but turned to face her. "Stop selling yourself short. You are capable of anything, Nathan. You are so warm and smart and you are good at so many things that you don't give yourself credit for."

"You're just saying that," he retorted, fighting against the smile that threatened to take over his face as he put the car back into drive and eased back onto the road.

"And now you are just fishing for compliments," she returned, grinning in spite of herself. "Nathan, don't let what anyone has done to you – your mother, your father…me – make you feel incapable of anything."

She knew him so well right down to his exact thought sometimes and there was definitely a part of him that bristled at that. There was another part of him, though, that had learned to appreciate it. That was the same part of him that knew all those same things about her, no matter how much he sometimes wished he didn't. That much was easy for her to see.

Nathan nodded, but she could still read the doubt in his eyes. "I'm not so good at it, though. I never really say what I feel, you know? I hold back a lot, but you never do."

"If this has been you holding back," she began softly, smiling wryly to herself, "Then I'd hate to see you let loose."

He frowned, uncomprehending. "What do you mean?"

Sighing at his seemingly very male lack of self-awareness, Haley realized that this might be a subject to tread lightly over for now. "Well, I guess that it doesn't seem like you've held back much with me, at least in terms of letting me know how angry you are with me. I'm not saying that it is wrong or bad; I guess it's just that if this has been you holding back, imagining what you really feel is not pleasant."

Letting that sink in, and perhaps just a little unwilling to see whatever truths appeared in his eyes, she turned to look out the window. He didn't say anything right away, something that only served to validate her fears. She questioned her sanity and stupidity in even bringing this subject up.

"I don't – I mean, I shouldn't have been such a jerk about it, I guess. You're right; I wasn't holding back in that. In fact, it's easier to express those kinds of negative emotions, and I think you got the brunt of my anger and I ended up taking a lot more out on you than was fair, but…."

"I was an easy target," she finished for him, finally daring to look his way again. "Besides, I deserved what you gave me, Nathan. Actions have consequences, and I had to deal with those that mine brought about."

"Still, Hales. You took a lot more from me than you should have. I – I guess I'm mad at a lot of people, but you hurt me, and I guess that made it easy to direct all of my anger and whatever your way. That isn't fair," he noted sincerely. "I am sorry that you got all the extra stuff, too."

Trying not to be the sap that let her emotions get the best of her, she managed to give him a small smile. "Thanks, Nathan," she said sincerely, her voice soft as she gazed at her husband. "You can't know how much that means to me."

He smiled back at her as the car again slowed, pulling off into an empty parking lot. "I'm glad," he grinned. "I'm glad we're doing this, too. The date thing, I mean, and everything else. I – I've missed you."

With that simple declaration out there, he opened his door and climbed out of the car before she even had time to exhibit even the simplest of reactions. Sighing at the frustration of the 'one step forward, two back' dance they seemed to be doing, she pasted on a smile and followed, getting out of the car. Pausing to look around and realize where they are, her mouth fell open in surprise.

"We're at the beach?" she asked, pulling her jacket tighter around her. There was nothing here but beach, so it was easy to figure it as their destination. It was cold and a little windy, and she was just not too sure why he thought this would be a good place to go for their date.

"Yeah, well, I thought it was kind of romantic," he shrugged, watching her closely for a reaction.

Despite that she can already feel the chill seeping into her body, she flashed him a wide smile and nodded in what she hoped was an enthusiastic manner. "Oh, it is," she agreed. And it really was romantic. How could it not be, right? Her semi-estranged husband had planned a – well, a something – for them on a secluded, moonlit beach. If that wasn't romantic, she figured the word needed a serious redefining.

It was just also very, very cold. And shivering? Kind of unromantic. But she was willing to shiver her butt off and make the best of it if that's what he wanted.

After he grabbed a few things out of the trunk of the car, she smiled at him as he moved around the car to where she stood. Offering her his arm, he grinned back at her. "Well, let's go."

"What do you have there?' she asked, trying to peer around him to get a glimpse of what he had tucked under his arm.

"Hey now," he laughed, shielding it from her view with his body. "You'll just have to wait and see, Miss Impatient."

"I am not impatient," she protested with a laugh. "I'm just naturally curious, that's all. Is that such a bad thing?"

Unlinking their arms, he then wrapped his arm around her waist, pulling her into his side. "C'mon. What I've got isn't much worth getting excited over," he warned her as she lays her head on his shoulder. "Why don't you pick the spot where we set up camp?"

Her eyebrows lifted at his choice of words. "Camp? Nathan, we aren't actually camping, right? That was a figure of speech?" She glanced up at him, sighing at his implacable expression. "It isn't that I don't want to camp with you, but it's kind of cold out here."

His face broke out into a grin when she started to look nervous. "Of course we aren't camping, Hales. I think that I'm even less into that idea than you are."

"Oh, thank God," she breathed out in obvious relief. "You had me worried there for a second. It is seriously freezing out here."

"Well, here Whiny," he teased, tossing her the thick fleece blanket he had tucked under his arm. "I did plan ahead a tiny bit."

"You did," she agreed as she wrapped the blanket around her. He held part of it up for her so it didn't drag through the sand. "This is nice. I can't tell you how glad I am to do something that is just us, just you and me with no one else around." She stopped walking, looking around. "This looks nice. Let's stop here."

He nodded his agreement, watching as she settled down on the cool sand leaning back against a log washed ashore by the tide. Following suit, he dropped down next to her setting the small picnic basket he'd brought in between them. "I brought some food. You know, if you're hungry."

"I could eat," she smiled, relief that they'd gotten past the initial awkwardness of the evening coursing through her veins. She hadn't really admitted it to even herself, but she'd been worried that this 'date' would be awkward and/or uncomfortable after all that had happened between them. It hadn't, though, and for that she was immensely grateful.

"Good thing," he grinned. "I brought a basket of food."

She leaned forward, resting her chin on her knees. "This is all really wonderful, Nathan. I can't even tell you much I love this, how glad I am we're out here tonight."

He was quiet for a moment as he dug through the picnic basket. After what felt like an eternity to her, he finally looked up and smiled. "Yeah, I am, too, Hales, and you're right that it's nice that it's just us tonight. It seems like you're so busy these days with work and cheer and Luke that I never get to see you."

"Well, I guess we'll just have to make time for us, huh?" she suggested, shifting nervously as the feeling of dread associated with her job formed like a knot in her belly.

"I think that's in order," he nodded, handing her a bag of apple slices. Eyeing her curiously, he asked, "Are you ever going to tell me about this job of yours? Seems like I've been waiting forever."

"I – I – " she begdn, faltering immediately. When his face started to close off at her reluctance, she reacted immediately. "Yes!" she blurt out unthinking. "Yes, someday I'll tell you everything. It's just that I can't, not right now. I promised, and if I break that promise, then…then things could happen that I refuse to let happen."

His eyebrows shot up, but she could swear that she saw a hint of bemusement mixed in with the frustration over her lack of an answer. "That doesn't even make sense, Hales. You aren't in some kind of trouble, are you?"

Closing her eyes against the disappointed look on his face, she nodded her acknowledgement. "Yes, to the first part, no to the second. I'm not in trouble. I swear. And I know this all sounds crazy and that it doesn't make sense, and I wish I could tell you. Honestly, you have no idea how much I want to tell you about everything. It's even fair to say that a huge part of me needs for you to know, but…"

"You can't," he sighed, reaching out to take her hand. "I – I know that I haven't been a very good one lately, but I am your husband, Haley. You should be able to tell me everything."

"I know I should," she whispered, looking him in the eye. "The thing is, I would, too. I know you have no reason to believe me, but if I hadn't promised, well, I can't. I'm not doing this to hurt you."

Reluctantly, he nodded. "Yeah, I know that. I guess maybe I'm just jealous that you're willing to keep a secret from me on someone else's behalf."

"If you believe me about nothing else," she began in earnest, squeezing his hand tightly, "Then believe that there is nothing to be jealous of, and that there never has been. In fact, this is quite the opposite."

"Okay, I believe you," he finally smiled, startling a squeal out of her when he reached out and pulled her onto his lap. "That's better."

"I couldn't agree more," she smiled, twisting so she could wrap her arms around him. They sat there in silence for a few minutes, too wrapped up in and around each other to bother with words.

The quiet between them wasn't quite as easy for him as it was for her. In fact, all of it was hard because he didn't know what he was supposed to do or how he was supposed to act or even how he should feel. He knew that it wasn't this hard for other people, and that despite what Haley said on the way here, it made him feel wrong in some fundamental way. No matter how good and wonderful she seemed to think he was, there was no denying the fact that emotionally, he was crippled at best.

Somehow, by some Karmic miracle, Haley either didn't notice or didn't care. Whatever damage his alternately neglectful and completely overbearing parents inflicted on him didn't seem to phase her much at all. That was both amazing and scary as hell, for some reason. It bothered him that she could be so okay with him and his shortcomings when he himself had not managed the same.

"How're things with your parents?" she asked, her voice soft enough that it almost seemed to blend in with the waves.

"The usual," he shrugged, his body losing some of its tension when she found his hand again, lacing their fingers together. "Apparently part of Dad granting Mom the divorce is that I have to spend time with him. Mom is enforcing that because it is to her benefit. Nice, huh? They're both such selfish assholes that they're willing to force me into something like that."

"I'm sorry," she sighed, her voice muffled against his chest. "Maybe it won't be as terrible as you are imagining it will be."

He snorted at that suggestion. "Oh, please, Hales. It already is. Besides, when was the last time that things weren't terrible when it came to my parents, my father in particular? The decent side of my father is like Halley's Comet – you only see it every 75 or 76 years."

Unable to help herself, she had to laugh at that. "I know it is rare that Dan exhibits signs of decency, but it is obvious he loves you. As much as it pains me to admit it, if I had to bet on the matter, that's where I'd put my money. He's just so extraordinarily warped in terms of how he shows it. To both you and Luke."

Nathan smiled slightly, and Haley leaned back to look up at him. "Hales, as bad as he's been to me, he's been about a million times worse to Luke. If he's shown very little love for me, what's he shown to Luke? Not much aside from contempt and disdain."

"Okay, you're not wrong," she allowed. "Then maybe it isn't in his actions. Maybe what I'm seeing is in how he looks at you both when he thinks no one else is paying attention." She paused, looking out at the water. "I'm not saying that it makes the way he treats either of you okay – actually, it makes it worse on some levels – but I do believe he loves you both."

"That does make it worse," Nathan noted, tightening his hold on her as she settled down with her back to his front. "I don't know, though. I have a real hard time believing that he cares at all beyond living vicariously through us for basketball."

"I wish he was better to you. To Luke, too. You both deserve so much better, Nathan," she murmured.

Almost absently, he pressed a lingering kiss to her cheek. "So, anyway. My mom is talking about selling the house and finding something more size appropriate. Can you believe that?"

She shook her head slightly. "That'd be weird," she agreed, relaxing into him. "And your dad is okay with that? That might be the weirdest part of it all."

He shrugged as he willed himself not to be freaked out by how fast everything in his life seemed to be changing. Life was whirling around him, and it was all he could do to avoid getting hit by the pieces – some broken, some just cracked – twisting in the turmoil.

"Do you miss Lydia and Jimmy?" he asked, diverting the subject slightly to a matter that he was more capable of dealing with. He'd much rather comfort Haley than feel like he needed to be receiving comfort.

"Of course," she sighed, smiling to herself at his obvious ploy. "Sometimes more than others. But they aren't what – or who – I miss most. That's us. You. I miss you most of all."

"Hales," he sighed, unsure of what to say.

She cut off his response as she stood up, turning to look down at him. "No, you don't have to say or do anything," she told him sincerely. "Look, Nathan, you know how I feel, so maybe I shouldn't need to express it, but I do. You don't have to reciprocate and I really hope you don't tell me the opposite, but I want you to hear it."

Staring up at her, he again marveled at her ability to just come out and say what she felt, regardless of the risk. "Thanks. I – just…thanks."

The smile she beamed down at him was a little sad, and he knew it hurt her that he couldn't give her more, but there was also understanding in it. That was what gave him hope and strength. That was what prompted him to reach out and grab her by the hips so he could pull her down to him. She didn't resist, and they both quickly lost track of time as they held each other and stared out at the inky darkness of the water.


	10. Round and Round It Goes

Hmm. I think this is the last of the chapters posted elsewhere. Everything after this is new content. Unless this is also new content. I can't remember! :) Either way, enjoy!

**Chapter Ten – ****Round and Round It Goes**

After the success of the date with Nathan, Haley was practically walking on air. For the first time in what felt like forever, hope wasn't the only thing that she had to hold onto, the only thing that kept her going. That was so huge for her; the hope was good, but this was so much more and so, so much better.

Even busting her butt with work, school, tutoring, cheering, and helping Brooke hadn't done anything to diminish her good mood the last few days. Sure, she was about as tired as she could ever remember being, but all things considered, she would gladly take that. Nathan was talking to her, flirting with her, and smiling at her, so everything else just seemed to melt away.

She didn't have much in the way of time to spend with Nathan, but when she did see him he seemed happy to see her and things no longer felt stilted or awkward. She truly felt like one of the huge weights that had been pressing her down had lifted, and it was obvious in her improved mood.

Even Dan had noticed the vast changes in her disposition, but to her unending surprise, his only comment was limited to generic snapping about cheerleading rubbing off on her. He had to know that her mood was a direct result of her date with Nathan since he gave her time off, but he still hadn't said anything derogatory. It was almost disappointing that he was playing it so cool with her.

That was sort of a problem in general for her, though. Every time she turned around, Dan was doing something to defy her expectations of him which was utterly frustrating to say the least. Not having a decent handle on Dan and what he'd do next was as disconcerting as not knowing exactly where she and Nathan stood. Well, almost anyway.

The thing was, she was starting to believe in Dan and his sincerity more and more, at least in terms of Luke and Nathan. Oh, he still had more than his share of nasty, rude moments where she wanted to kick him in the teeth, but overall he was beginning to win her over. And yes, she had considered checking herself into a mental hospital when that realization came down.

It was just obvious to her that if nothing else, Dan was committed to this, to winning over both of his sons. Since she was committed to them, too, that meant they had something very huge in common. This wasn't a great spot for her to be in, all things considered. Luke had so many justified trust issues with Dan that he still had trouble being in the same room with the man, and Nathan flat out hated him and blamed him for a lot of his problems. Everyday she felt like she was being sucked more and more into the middle all because she was beginning to see Dan's side of things.

Oh, how she wanted to hate him for that.

"Hey, Hales," Luke called, chuckling when she jumped a few inches off her chair. "You okay? Your eyes have been completely glazed over for about five minutes now. It was a little creepy, almost Hitchcockian."

"Thank you for letting it go on that long," she retorted mildly, shooting him her version of a sweet smile. "Sorry. I guess there are a lot of things on my mind."

Luke's eyebrows shot up into his hairline, ridiculously spiky as it were. "Let me guess: Nathan." He made a face of mock surprise when she conceded with a curt nod and a roll of her eyes. "I can hardly believe it!"

She sighed in exasperation. "Well, what do you want from me, Luke? He's my husband, and for the first time in about nine months, things are starting to look better for us. So yeah, that is on my mind. Sue me."

"Oh, relax," he grinned, shoving her playfully. "I'm just giving you a bad time, Hales. If things are getting on track for you and Nathan, believe me, no one would be happier for you both than me. You know that, right?"

"Fine," she grumbled, reluctantly returning his grin when he tugged on a lock of her hair. "Have you tried to talk to him lately? Maybe you should tell him about the heart thing, Luke. I'm sure he'd understand, and really, I think he'd want to know."

Luke's eyes darted wildly around, scanning the nearby tables to make sure his mother wasn't anywhere near them. "Could you maybe be a little quieter about that, or I don't know, not talk about it here period? I don't – damn it, you know that no one is supposed to know!"

She sighed in response to his little outburst. "Honestly, Luke, I was barely speaking above a whisper. You are drawing way more attention to us now flapping your arms around like an over-dramatic chicken!"

"Well, you know not to talk about it," he grumped, not giving an inch on this. "In fact, let's not talk about it at all, ever again. Sound good? Yeah, for me, too."

"No, that doesn't sound good, and it is not okay. Look, Luke, I'm keeping this secret for you despite the fact that every single instinct I have is screaming at me to do otherwise," she ground out quietly, her frustration clearly communicated. "You have put me in a truly horrible position, and not only am I potentially risking several extremely important relationship of my own, I'm potentially risking your health and life. And I'm not really okay with that."

"Those are my decisions," he argued, refusing to see (or admit to seeing) what she was not only risking, but sacrificing. "No one will ever find out, but if they do, I'll take the heat, I promise."

She shook her head, dismayed by his obtuseness. "No, Luke. If you think that, you're clueless," she scoffed. "Honestly, if Nathan or Brooke or your mother found out I knew before something happened, do you think they'd just let me off the hook? Luke, they'd all hate me. They would hate me, and frankly, it'd be pretty damn justified, you know?"

"No one would ever hate you," he tried to placate her, his eyes still frantically scanning for any sign of his mother. "They'd just be pissed at me."

"They'd be frustrated with you and your choices, sure, but mostly they'd be concerned and afraid for you," she snapped out in a whisper, "I won't get that. Besides, I owe all three of them honesty, and…well, they don't entirely trust me now as it is."

Seeming to realize just what Haley had put on the line for him, he slumped down in his seat. "They won't find out, Hales. And God, if they do, then I'll never tell them that you already knew, okay? Since no one else knows that you know, it'll be okay, I promise."

Deflating as she lost her anger with him, she gave him a grim smile. "That is not a promise you can keep, Luke. There are ways - well, Tree Hill has never been good with secrets, has it? Anyway, I guess it isn't worth worrying about now."

"Hey, I wouldn't let you take the fall for it," he promised her, his face as serious as hers. "I wouldn't do that to you, not after all you've done for me."

"That might be out of your control," she pointed out with a sigh. To her surprise, who should walk through the door now but Nathan, his mouth widening into a smile when he spotted her. It got a little tighter when he noticed Luke sitting across from her, but it didn't deter his approach.

She stood up as he got closer, beaming a smile at him. "I didn't know you were coming by. Oh! How did you know I was here?"

He kissed her on the cheek all the while shooting Luke a wary look. "You have a very blabby roommate, Hales. I stopped by to see if you wanted to hang out, and she told me you were here. With him."

Haley sighed as Luke rolled his eyes. Trying to make the best out of having them in the same room for a change, she looked up at Nathan as she sat back down. "Well, Luke and I were doing a bit of studying and a lot of hanging out. You are certainly welcome to join us. I'd really like it if you would, actually."

Raising his eyebrows, both Haley and Luke watched as Nathan's face shuttered over at the suggestion. Resigning himself to what he figured was inevitable, Luke moved to stand. "Hey, you know what? I think you have that math thing down, Hales. I'll just, um, get out of your way."

"What? Luke, no!" Haley protested, sighing in exasperation. "We're hanging out! I don't want you to leave." If anything, Nathan's mouth tightened up even more in an expression of his displeasure. Seeing that, Haley rolled her eyes. "Why can't we all just hang out?"

"Indeed," Dan agreed from behind them. Luke and Nathan both quickly turned to look at him, and in a sign of how different the places they were in currently are, Luke was wary while Nathan was just flat-out angry. "I hope you haven't ordered yet. I'm hungry, and it'll be nice to eat with all of you."

Nathan just gaped at Dan, not realizing that this had become something of a common thing around here. Luke, on the other hand, was beginning to grow somewhat used to it, but he still felt like he'd never get comfortable with it. Haley knew from both Dan and Karen that Dan was eating dinner at the café whenever he could. That was the time Luke was likeliest to be around, so that was when he tended to show up.

"What – what the hell are you doing here?" Nathan ground out, anger mixed in with the pain and confusion over his father's presence.

"Hello to you, too, Nathan," Dan greeted him with a wry grimace. "And hello Luke, Haley."

Supremely uncomfortable, Haley could only manage a nod in response. Luke fared slightly better, managing a muttered hello and even a trace of a shy smile.

Nathan's eyes narrowed as he picked up on Luke's not entirely negative response. Glaring at his half-brother, he demanded, "What the hell is going on? Oh, come on! Don't tell me that you're dumb enough to fall for the sad sac, puppy dog eyes routine!"

"Nathan!" Haley exclaimed, marveling at his ability to take an already awkward situation and dial it up about a thousand notches.

"What?" he barked back, his irritation rising by the half second. "Don't you dare defend either one of these two to me!"

Looking between his sons, Dan seemed to realize the position he was putting all of them in, and while he wanted to stay and force the issue, he couldn't bring himself to do it. Not when Nathan was looking this angry, and especially not when Lucas was this obviously uncomfortable. Clearing his throat, he nodded to himself as he made his decision. "Maybe this isn't the best time then," he noted quietly. "I'll just go and leave the three of you to your evening."

To the surprise (or more appropriately abject shock) of them all, Luke lay a hand on Dan's arm. "No!" he exclaimed, startling himself as much as anyone. "I mean, you don't have to go. You aren't in the wrong here."

"Fine," Nathan huffed, betrayal lancing through him. "I see how it is. Come on, Haley. Let's go. I'd hate to interrupt father-son time."

"Nathan, don't be like that," she sighed tiredly. "It isn't like that, and you know it."

"No, I don't know that!" he snapped, now including her in his heat-filled glares. "I guess if you're so into being a Scott, those two are as good as anything, right?"

He gave her one last look, one last second to change her mind and come with him before realizing she wasn't budging on this before he turned to stalk out of the café, the door swinging shut behind him. Seeing the stricken look on his best friend's face, Luke moved to go after Nathan, but she stopped him with a shake of her head.

"No, Luke. Just let him go. I – I can't pander to him and his expectations when they're this childish, right?" she pointed out, the strain of the situation evident in the tight line of her lips. "No one can, and none of us should feel obligated to. Besides, you were right; he is the one acting in the wrong here."

"He's going to be pissed," Luke needlessly pointed out as Dan watched them with interest. "You can go after him, Hales. I won't be mad or think you're crazy if you do."

She smiled tremulously at him. "I know, and that means a lot to me. I just – I guess I can't continue to justify it in my head when I keep giving this type of behavior validation."

While Luke was surprised by the proclamation (of sorts), Dan looked impressed and (gag her) even a little proud.

"Are you sure?" Luke asked doubtfully.

"She's right," Dan interrupted quietly, almost as if he was afraid his speaking would startle Luke off. "He can be angry with me or you or anyone, but he shouldn't get to act like that. I – well, Deb and I have certainly not given him much to go on in terms of healthy relationships – "

"Or productive conflict resolution," Haley interrupted with a tiny smirk.

"Or that," Dan agreed, fighting an indulgent smile. "He is old enough to act a little better than that, though, regardless of the bad habits he has picked up from his parents."

Sighing, Haley nodded. "Well, I'm going to go see if Karen needs any help in the kitchen. I owe her a chat anyway."

Luke was about to protest but stopped when he realized that she was actually trying to help. Sitting back down, he motioned for Dan to do the same. "He's so cruel to her sometimes," he sighed as Haley wound her way through the tables, stopping to exchange greetings with some of the regular customers.

Dan nodded absently as he settled into his chair, effectively giving his agreement. He was a little overwhelmed by the unexpected boon of being invited to stay, so he might agree to about anything at the moment.

"I do have to admit that a lot of that is my fault," Dan noted, for once not shying away from or sugar-coating the truth. "I think you already know this, but you also deserve to know that I recognize it, too. You – you were the lucky one, Lucas. Karen – your mom just knew how to be a good parent. She knew what the important things were, and she didn't try and teach a bunch of bullshit values that mean nothing like I did with Nathan. You were lucky not to grow up with me."

Luke's mouth had fallen open sometime near the beginning of Dan's little soliloquy, and it took a minute after he's done to get it closed. "I never felt lucky," Luke said quietly, a little flatly.

"Yeah," Dan agreed earnestly, giving his slightly older son a pained smile. He sort of wished he hadn't brought this subject up, here of all places, but he wasn't going to back down now that it was out on the table. "Luke, I am sorry. If I've made a million mistakes in my life, at least 700,000 of them were in regards to you. It has taken me an unforgivably long time to get to the point where I can acknowledge these mistakes, but I'm there now. I'm here now, and maybe that will never be enough, but I want to try."

"I thought we were trying," Luke noted wryly, prompting Dan to relax a little. "Look, I won't pretend it will be easy because it probably won't. Things between us are tough enough, and when you throw Nathan in, they seem sort of impossible. I guess that really will make things worse, if neither of us can even talk with Nathan right now."

"No, it won't," Dan cut in, his tone firm. "It won't because we won't let it. You and I each clearly have things to work out with Nathan, and maybe some of those overlap, but we don't have to let that interfere with this. This isn't about anyone but you and me."

Luke actually smiled at that even as he shook his head. "Maybe it shouldn't be about anyone else, but it doesn't work like that. Besides, Nathan is not so good about separating things, you know? I'm pretty sure he was mad when he came in just because Haley was here with me."

Dan nodded. "I know, but that's something that Nathan needs to work through, Luke. He's angry at a lot of people for a lot of reasons, and a lot of them are justified. Maybe the way he reacts to them isn't, but the reasons behind it are, and you and I both know that."

"How long do we have to keep apologizing?" Luke bit out angrily. He sighed then, shaking his head. "Sorry, I know you probably do not want to hear this, but I just hate how he's treating Haley. She was wrong to leave, but why does he have to take it so far, be so cruel?"

"You're right," Dan stunned Luke – and maybe himself a little – by agreeing. "He is ridiculously hard on her. She might deserve some of it, or at least she probably did initially, but he's holding it over her head now and that isn't fair."

Luke frowned. "But…?"

Grinning at having thrown Luke in a positive way for a change, Dan leaned back in his chair a little. "There's no 'but', Luke. How he is treating her isn't fair." His smile grew as did Luke's skepticism. "I mean it. There is no reason for you to believe me, but I don't hate Haley. I resented her for a long time, and now…well, it's not hard to realize I was jealous of her in a lot of ways. Still am, actually."

"Jealous? Why would you be jealous of Haley?"

Smiling indulgently, Dan explained, "You and your brother both love and trust her. You'd both do anything for her up to the point of dying, and the damnedest thing is that she earned it. I know she did, and I'm jealous that she has that ability, that she's the glue that holds the two of you together rather than me."

Not sure what to say, Luke sort of shrugged. "It's easy to love and trust someone who reciprocates it. Besides, she's my friend, and I know she would help me however she could. She actually made me accept the money from you for the doctors and the medications. I – I would've refused if she hadn't talked me into it. Well, sort of blackmailed me, actually, but still."

"I'm glad she did," Dan smiled, his sincerity startlingly obvious.

"You're freaking me out," Luke blurted out bluntly. "This – I'm sorry, but this is so out of the blue that I guess I don't really know what to do with it."

"Sometimes I don't either," Dan admitted. "We'll just have to feel our way through things as they come up. I – I don't expect miracles, not even minor ones. I know that I have never given you a single reason to trust me, or even to want to have a relationship with me. Let's face it, I am asking for a lot here, and I know that."

Watching surreptitiously from behind the counter, Haley sighed a little when Luke extended his hand to Dan and they shook. If that gesture wasn't enough, the slightly goofy smiles both were wearing would be more than enough to convince her that something serious – but apparently positive – had just gone down.

"Do you think it is a bad thing?" Karen asked, nodding her head to the table that she was watching even more closely than Haley was.

"No, of course not. It's odd, but it isn't bad. I just hope that it stays a not bad thing, you know?" she asked rhetorically. "Plus, I know it is selfish, but I wish Nathan were here for this. I'd feel a lot better about it if they had each other's backs in this."

Karen smiled, gazing thoughtfully at her son and his father. "The oddest part in all this is that I actually think Dan is sincere. That is a rather frightening notion in some ways."

"Yeah," Haley agreed absently. "How is Deb taking him being here so often? I can't imagine that she appreciates it much."

"No, she is not happy about it at all, but since I am staying out of it, she isn't saying much against it, either."

Haley glanced over at Karen. "Why are you staying out of it, anyway? I don't think I've heard anything on that."

Laughing, Karen dropped an arm over Haley's shoulders. "Haley, Dan knew – knows where I stand with Lucas. He knows that I would do anything to protect him when necessary. I wanted him to know the same applied to you. Maybe more to the point, what I've seen of Dan lately gives me hope."

"Hope," Haley repeated dubiously, trying to reconcile the idea. "Dan Scott giving hope to anyone, particularly you, is seriously breaking my brain, Karen."

Karen grinned at that, filling Haley's mug with coffee from the decaf pot, prompting a pout from the younger woman. "If it is hard for you to reconcile, imagine how I feel! I've spent years expecting the worst and only the worst from him – which is usually just what I got – and now he's battering the defense walls I've put up around myself and Luke. You see it, right? The part where he's sincere in his intentions toward Lucas?"

Watching as Dan said something that seemed to surprise a laugh out of Lucas, Haley sighed even as she nodded her agreement. "Yes, I see it. It pains me to admit it, but yes, it's there. He talks about it sometimes, about how he wants a better relationship with Nathan and to just have one with Luke. I didn't want to believe it at first because there are a million reasons not to, but now…I don't know. I tend to find myself giving him the benefit of the doubt."

"What has Luke said about it?" Karen asked before sighing and abruptly shaking her head. "No, no, don't answer that. I'm sorry, I know I shouldn't ask those types of questions and put you in that position." She shook her head, giving Haley a rueful smile. "I've put myself into this position, the one where I am totally and completely clueless in what is going on with my son and his father."

"Join them," Haley blurted out, a light blush stealing across her cheeks at her own audacity. "Ugh, sorry, that was so rude and so not how I meant for it to sound. What I meant – well, that is what I meant, just not so rudely, I swear."

Karen laughed, not at all put off. "You think I should just join them? Go over, sit down and interrupt them? I don't know that either would appreciate that much. Besides, wouldn't it be too cozy? Too 'happy little family' or something?"

Haley's nose crinkled up a little thinking of the interest that she'd seen in both Dan and Karen, but pushed that aside. Because that? Was so not her business. "I don't think that either of them would be upset if you joined them once in awhile," she said quietly. "Yes, I'm sure it would be weird, but not more so than any of the rest, right?"

"I – I just don't know that it would be a good idea," Karen sighed. "On several levels, it would probably prove to be a completely awful thing, right?"

Shrugging, Haley offered her a small smile. "Then ask Luke what he thinks. He probably thought the same thing, that this was all an unmitigated disaster waiting to happen. I don't know, it looks okay. And there really isn't anyone better to talk to about this than you. No one understands better than you, Karen."

Staring at Haley intently, Karen asked, "What about your husband? I'd have figured that Nathan would be the best person for Lucas to talk to about Dan's parenting deficiencies."

"You'd think," Haley shrugged as a frown darkened her face. "Nathan isn't really in a 'sharing is caring' kind of place right now."

"He's still having difficulties with Dan, too?"

Haley's lips twisted in a grimace before Karen even finished her question. "With Dan, with Deb, with Lucas," she sighs. "Mostly he has huge difficulties with me a lot of the time."

"I thought things were improving," Karen frowned. "Lucas told me that you and Nathan had been spending more and more time together lately. What happened?"

"Yeah, well, I thought they were improving, too," Haley groaned, a sad smile playing over her face. "I can't keep staying silent when he's acting out, though. Even if it keeps the peace between me and him. You can imagine how well going against him turns out for me. Maybe I'm doing the wrong thing."

Karen nodded thoughtfully, her gaze sympathetic. "You can only take so much of the blame, Haley. You are not the root cause of each and every problem Nathan has or will have, and you should not keep taking the blame, anger, and frustration for all of them."

Haley smiled at her. "No, I know that, and more importantly, I think Nathan does, too. That is, aside from when he's acting like a cornered animal and lashing out at everyone around him."

"And how much of that is directed at you usually? And Haley, how much are you willing to take from him?"

"I guess that is the question," Haley sighed, smiling grimly this time. "It does get tiresome and frustrating, but at the same time, I know I deserve a lot of it. If I have to take the punishment he wants to mete out, then okay, I'll do it. I have to do it if I want a future with him."

"At what cost?"

That was the question that Haley had been asking herself with more and more frequency of late, but she didn't really have a good answer for it. "I don't know," she admitted. "Maybe at any."

"Oh, Haley," Karen sighed, discouraged. "Honey, you should not have to spend the rest of your life apologizing and begging for Nathan's forgiveness over a mistake made at seventeen. That's not how relationships are supposed to work. I know it isn't any of my business, but I worry that the two of you are beginning to fall into a pattern where this is always hanging over your head. It shouldn't be like that."

"Well, it is," Haley retorted weakly, her earlier stand already forgotten. "This is what I've made things, and even though it sucks and sometimes it doesn't seem fair and I don't agree with how he's acting, what can I do? If I take someone else's side or disagree with him at all, he storms out. What am I supposed to do?"

Folding her arms over her chest, Karen put on her best 'mom' face as she stared Haley down. "First of all, you drop the guilt. What's done is done, and you came back, recognized your mistakes, and apologized. Letting Nathan continue to beat you down is not going to do either of you or your relationship any good in the long run."

When she pauses to take a breath, Haley shrugged, blandly stating, "Well, I guess I have to believe it won't come to that."

"You are putting yourself into a dangerous position, Haley. I understand where you are coming from and why you want to take all of this on yourself, but at the same time, I don't like where I see this going. He can't punish you forever, and the sooner both of you realize that, the better off you'll be."

Folding her arms around herself, Haley sighed. "I want him to forgive me, obviously, but it isn't exactly something I can force, is it?"

"No, it never is," Karen conceded. Glancing across the café to where her son sits talking to his estranged father, she knew she had her example. "Let me ask you something; what will it take for Lucas to have a real, healthy relationship with Danny?"

Haley groaned, shaking her head. "No, no fair. That's so different. Things with Nathan and I are so fundamentally diff – "

Karen cut her off with a shake of her head. "They aren't. The details are different of course, but the fundamentals are the same. Haley, I won't tell you what you should do, and I won't even offer my opinion. Just…be careful, and think. It's a fine line, honey, and I am so afraid you're teetering right now."

"Yeah, of course," Haley agreed slowly, somewhat unused to someone not at least offering their opinion to her. Or their opinions of her, as the case so often was these days. "I – you know that I am trying, right? I want to get things figured out so they work out for the best for all of us. That is so hugely important to me."

"I believe that, one hundred percent," Karen nodded, wondering if there was anything that she could say or do that would make Haley understand what she was risking in all this. It was so easy to lose pieces of yourself, and that was the last thing she wanted for this girl. "Be careful. I know I'm not your mother, but I worry about you. I want you to be happy, and well, I – I worry. Do not let Nathan hold this over your head forever. He doesn't get to do that, and you don't deserve it."

"Thank you," Haley sniffled, giving her a watery smile. "You don't have to worry, but it means a lot to me that you do. I hope you know that."

"Of course I do," Karen acknowledged with a smile, wrapping an arm around the younger girl's waist. "And you know that I love you, and if you ever need someone to talk to, I am here."

Slightly bewildered by the pointed reminder, Haley nodded. "I love you, too. With my parents gone and practically unreachable sometimes combined with how things are with Nathan, you and Luke really feel like family to me."

Karen smiled widely at her, blinking away a few tears. "You are family to us, Haley. You always have been, and I know you always will be."

Haley bit her lip as she gave Karen another hug. She should tell the truth now, let Karen know about Luke's illness and tell her the story behind her employment with Dan. She knew that she owed Karen more than that, and it was gnawing at her that she couldn't tell.

Just as she was afraid she'd about to crack and spill her guts – and the truth about Luke – he approached the counter with a smile on his face. "I hate to interrupt girly bonding time, but um, Mom, I – uh, Dan and I were talking, and we both noticed you watching. We thought you might like to join us so you could keep an eye on things."

"Oh, no, Lucas," Karen muttered, obviously taken aback by the invitation. "Honey, I do not need to be there. That – those things are between you and Dan, and I – I'm trusting you both to handle things right."

"You're trusting Dan?" Luke goggled.

Fighting back a smile, Karen nodded. "I have talked to him about things, and I believe that he is sincere. That's enough for me, Luke, because I trust you to make your own decisions. Does that mean I'm not worried and nervous? Of course not. I do worry and I am nervous, so I'll probably watch sometimes because that is what mothers do. I still trust you, though, and I am willing to let you go into this without my opinions so you can form your own."

He looked a little nonplussed by the vote of confidence (in both him and seemingly Dan), and Haley had to bite back a smile of her own at his reaction. "I – well, thanks, Mom. That means a lot, but I'd still like it if you joined us."

Karen glanced at Haley who nodded her encouragement. "You should, Kar. I think it's a great idea for both of you."

"You're welcome to join us, too, Hales," Luke grinned, almost daring her to say no. "Dan was pretty civil to you earlier, don't you think?"

"He was alright," she agreed with a roll of her eyes.

Luke's eyebrows shot up at that. "He took your side against Nathan. If that isn't better than alright, I don't know what is!"

Karen turned a questioning gaze on Haley, who just shrugged. "It isn't a big deal. I'm not trying to downplay what he did, but it wasn't exactly some huge thing."

"Well, it was to me," Luke retorted quietly. "He's never agreed with me over Nathan before. That is a pretty huge thing." Chagrined, Haley nodded. "Besides, have you ever known him to agree with you about anything? You've never exactly been his favorite person."

That last comment earned him a jab to the ribs from his mother, but Haley had to smile. "Maybe Dan is finally coming around on a lot of things," she suggested lightly.

Luke nodded thoughtfully. "Yeah, I think he is." He glanced back towards the table where their topic of conversation still sat. "Mom, please come over for a few seconds at least. I want you there, and I think it is important to Dan that you see he really means this."

"Okay," Karen agreed, picking up on his nervousness. She didn't bother to remind him that she just told him she believed in Dan's sincerity. "If that's what you want, of course I'll go with you. As will Haley, who just finished telling me that you and I are her family."

"I don't want to intrude," Haley interjected hastily, her mind boggling at Karen's amazingly well-designed attack on her defenses. "This is your thing, and I'd just be in the way."

Rolling his eyes, Luke grabbed her by the hand. "Don't be dumb," he reprimanded as he tugged her toward the table, Karen following behind. To her surprise, and probably everyone else's, things were relaxed and actually pleasant. (Yes, she pinched herself once to make sure it was a dream. Okay, twice.) By the time she left over an hour later, she realized she had actually been having fun.

Who knew?

"No! No way, no how, abso-frigging-lutely not!" Brooke ground out, teetering on the edge of a full-on temper tantrum to rival any worth-their-salt four year old. "I refuse to have anything to do with that stuck-up, self-righteous, ho bag! Honestly, Haley, I'd rather be kicked out of school than work with her on this!"

Taking a deep and hopefully calming breath, Haley stared at her roommate after exchanging a quick glance with Mouth, who she had recruited to help with their campaign to get Brooke back her school activity positions. "Getting her in on this will only strengthen our case," Haley reasoned, knowing that she was essentially beating her head against a brick wall.

Mouth nodded his agreement, taking his cue from Haley. "Plus you have to realize that when they overturn your suspension from student council and cheer, they'll overturn her suspensions, too. Might as well work with Rachel now and get to that point faster, Brooke."

After glaring at him for a few seconds, Brooke turned pleading eyes on Haley. "Please," she drawled out in a long whine, "Please do not make me work with that tramp. She wrecked my life, she's tried to steal my boyfriend, and…she has a bad dye job!"

"Well, I don't like her anymore than you do," Haley conceded with a sigh, "But Mouth is one hundred percent right. Working with Rachel will only help your cause. I'm sorry that it will help hers, too, but that's just the way it is."

"What if I can't do it? It is a distinct possibility that I might actually kill her!" Brooke warned her friends, who just rolled their eyes. Groaning in frustration and defeat, Brooke threw her hands up in the air. "Fine! But if I kill, I'm blaming the two of you!"

Mouth grinned at Haley before standing up. "Great! I'll go talk to Rachel. Brooke, I promise you won't regret this!" he called over his shoulder as he hurried out of the apartment.

Brooke glanced at Haley who gave her a small smile in return as she shrugged. "I'm sure we'll all regret this sooner than later, but unfortunate though it may be, I do think it is the best way."

"I guess," Brooke agreed sullenly. "Why does this have to be so hard? It isn't fair!"

"Yeah, well, a lot of things aren't fair," Haley pointed out. "Anyway, you sort of brought this on yourself. I know you didn't intend for things to turn out like this, but Brooke, you knew what would happen."

"I don't really need a lecture," Brooke snapped out half-heartedly. "I know I screwed up, but it isn't like I'm the one who left their husband to go on a slut tour with Chris Keller, am I?"

Haley's face paled as she took a step back, something in her snapping. "You don't get to do that anymore. No more throwing that in my face. It is a mistake that I have recognized time and again, and I live with it and its consequences every single damn day, okay?" She drew a shaking hand over her face. "God, I can't do this anymore."

Brooke stared at her in confusion as Haley walked quietly into the bedroom, stooping to pull a duffel bag out from under the bed. "What are you doing? Haley!"

"What do you think I'm doing?" Haley retorted lamely. "I'm leaving. I can't be here anymore, and since I don't have to be, I won't."

"No, Haley, you cannot just leave!" Brooke protested, panic seeping in as she realized this was not an empty threat or a ploy for attention. Not like something she would've done. "What am I supposed to do without you?"

"Can and am," Haley noted grimly, opening drawers and pulling things out as quickly as she could. "I'm just taking a few things now, and I'll be back for the rest later."

Brooke stared at her with wide eyes. "You cannot be serious! What the hell are you thinking, Haley?" When Haley failed to answer, Brooke let out a squeal of frustration as she stomped her foot. "Don't go! I'm sorry! What I said was uncalled for, and I didn't even really mean it!"

Finally losing the last thread of her control, Haley rounded on Brooke with a dangerous glint in her eyes. "I'm so tired of this, Brooke. Every time I say or do something that you don't like, you have to throw my mistake in my face. That's not fair, and frankly it isn't your place to do it."

"Haley, come on," Brooke pleaded, dangerously close to begging as she could feel her last real relationship sipping through her fingers like sand. "Please don't leave me! Don't be like Peyton!"

"Don't you dare compare me to her! Oh, God," Haley groaned, turning away to grab things out of her closet. "Just give it up. I can't stay here anymore. It was a terrible idea in the first place, and I never should've moved in."

Shaking her head, Brooke followed her down the hall to the bathroom. "Where are you going to go? I don't think that you can just show up at Nathan's and expect a warm welcome, Haley! So stay here!"

Ignoring her, Haley grabbed all of her bathroom items, dropping them into a plastic bag. Brooke continued to squawk at her, but it was barely even registering at this point. All she wanted to do was pack up a few more essentials so she could go cry on Karen's shoulder.

"Don't ignore me!" Brooke screeched as full-on panic sets in. "You don't get to ignore me! You were the one in the wrong! Don't be mad because I'm not afraid to point it out."

"Just shut up," Haley said softly. "Quit talking about things that you know nothing about. It doesn't work so that you get to throw my mistakes in my face just when I've pissed you off. You're mad, I get it. I did awful, selfish things. I get it. Obviously, this doesn't work, so I'm leaving."

As tears filled her eyes, Brooke reached out and grabbed Haley's arm. "Don't go! Please, Haley, I will literally beg you if that's' what you want. Just…don't go. Please."

Haley pulled out of her grasp. "That isn't what I want. None of this is what I want, Brooke. So I'm just…done. I'm done, and I'm leaving, and there is nothing you can say to stop me."

"Leaving doesn't solve the problem!" Brooke explained, completely oblivious to the irony of her saying something like that.

"I never thought it did, but staying isn't going to fix things either. Let's face it – this is a time when staying isn't going to help." Brooke started sobbing at that. Resolutely, Haley ignored it, and continued packing. "Brooke, get a grip!"

Brooke stopped abruptly, her arms falling to hang limply at her sides. "I don't want you to leave, Haley. You – you're my best friend, and I swear, I'm not just saying that because Peyton is gone. This is merit based, I promise."

Haley placed one last thing in her bag before zipping it up. "I'm sorry, but I can't stay here. You are my friend and I love you, but I don't like you much right now. I – I just don't think that this was a good situation for either of us. I'm sorry I put us in this position."

"I'm sorry, too," Brooke managed to whisper, looking down at the floor. "I'm sorry I threw the Nathan thing in your face again. You don't deserve that."

"You said that last time," Haley said knowingly as she stepped out the door. "I'll see you around, Brooke."

She pulled the door shut before Brooke could issue a response. Taking a deep breath, she realized that this was actually a weight off her shoulders. What should be scary, knowing that she didn't have a definite place to live, was actually a relief.

It shouldn't be; she didn't officially have a place to go. Karen had extended the invitation to her once, but that was when Haley had other arrangements. Maybe it was a courtesy thing. Still, she wasn't worried and she knew that somehow this particular mess would work itself out.


	11. The Center Could Not Hold

Note: This story is starting to explode a little bit. The next few chapters will be bumpy emotional rides. Buckle up!

**Chapter Eleven – ****The Center Could Not Hold**

Maybe she should have worried. At least a little.

It didn't take long (not longer than it took to get to the end of the parking lot of the apartment complex before she started to think that this was not such a good idea. Walking (fine, storming) out of the place that sheltered you was probably not a great idea, but at least it wasn't her name on the lease. It probably would turn out fine, eventually, but thinking these things through would probably go a lot further in terms of growth and maturity.

She just didn't know what to do now. Showing up at Luke and Karen's house seemed a lot less prudent now than it had when she had angrily stuffed her things into the duffel bag. It was obvious that she'd gotten herself into a stupid situation, but the funny thing was, she had no desire to take it back. It had been a mistake to think that things could work out living with Brooke in the same apartment she had shared with Nathan. It was weird on too many levels, and the only good part was that it should be a fairly easy mistake to fix.

She was sort of stuck now anyway, though. Karen was out of town for the weekend to visit her sister upstate, and Luke had gone off to parts unknown (to her, anyway) with the river court gang for a ritualistic male bonding camping thing. She had a key to their house and instructions to use it when necessary, but she'd left that in her desk at the dealership.

It was stupid of her to dump a few of the things she'd deemed non-essential into her desk there just because her damn purse was getting hard to shut. Unfortunately, seeing as the hour was growing late, she was going to have to be reliant on Dan to even have a hope of getting the key tonight. She was going to have to call him and request he let her in to retrieve the key. Oh, hell, who was she kidding? This wasn't about requesting; no, it would be about begging.

Groaning, she pulled out her phone and scrolled through to find Dan's cell. He'd still been at the dealership when she'd left a couple of hours ago, and knowing the hours he had been spending there lately, it wasn't completely outrageous to hope he'd still be there now. If that was the case, the only thing she'd need would be a ride there. Then this whole thing wouldn't be such a big deal, but she was ride-less at the moment, so there was that.

He answered after only a couple of rings with a rather cordial 'hello'. She was tempted to hang up on him, but since her number obviously showed up on his caller ID, she had to concede that would be even stupider than asking him for a favor.

"Um, hi Dan, this is Haley," she greeted awkwardly.

"Haley, what can I do for you?" he asked evenly. If he was surprised to hear from her, he was doing a good job of keeping that to himself. "Is everything okay?"

"Yes. Well, no, actually it isn't. Um, well, see, the thing is, I need a favor." She felt so ridiculous calling Dan of all people and fumbling her way through the conversation like a moron. Unfortunately, there was no help for that. "I left something in my desk at the dealership, and it is kind of imperative that I have it right now. If you're still there, would you mind waiting for me to get there so I can grab them?"

He cleared his throat before answering. "I'm still here," he confirmed. "I can wait for you to get here, if you would like. Where are you? If it would be easier, I could drop whatever you need off."

She paused as she tried to digest her surprise at the offer. "I'm just leaving my place actually," she sighed, which isn't technically a lie considering she's barely made it out of the parking lot of the apartment complex. Well, the 'my place' was a lie now. "I'm walking, so it might take awhile for me to get there."

"Okay, why don't I just come get you?" he suggested pragmatically. "I'll pick you up, you can get whatever it is you need here, and I can drop you off wherever you need to go on my way home. It would actually be good for me, since it would give me a reason to pack it in for the night and head home."

Put like that, there really wasn't any reason she could give to refuse. Nor did she care to, all things considered. She supposed she was just that desperate. "Well, okay, thanks. I'd really appreciate a ride."

They worked out the details, and as he hung up the phone, Dan couldn't help but shake his head and marvel at how much things have changed in just a couple of months. Even three weeks ago he doubted he would've offered something like this, and he knew without a doubt that she would've refused.

He wasn't sure what to credit this change to. Was it because she was beginning to trust him? Was it because Luke and Karen were letting him into their lives more and more? Did it have something to do with Nathan? In the end, it didn't really matter what the reasons were and he knew he shouldn't dwell on it. Still, it was a bit funny to get along somewhat with this girl now when five months ago she wouldn't have asked him for water if she were on fire.

All thoughts of past tumult flee when he spotted her standing on the side of the road, obviously distressed as she fiddled with the strap of the large duffel bag sitting on the ground in front of her. Confused, he managed to keep his mouth shut as she climbed into the car, awkwardly trying to hold the bag on her lap. Finding his voice, he cleared his throat.

"You're welcome to use the backseat or the trunk," he offered, not unkindly or even pointedly. Not bad at all, for him.

She glanced up, almost looking startled by the sound of his voice. She gave him a tight smile as she nodded her agreement. "I suppose that would make sense." After she'd put her bag into the backseat, she looked over at him. "Thanks for picking me up. I – I really do appreciate it."

He nodded back at her, his eyes on the road as he pulls the car out onto the road. "Really, it's no problem. You should consider getting a little car for getting around. I know Tree Hill isn't the big city, but I don't think it is a good idea for you to be wandering around out here at night. We'll have the guys at the dealership watch for something suitable in the trade-ins that come through."

In spite of herself, she laughed a little at that. "And yet, some might say that I've just accepted a ride with Tree Hill's very own bogeyman," she throws back at him. "Besides, I'm a high school student in a small town. I can probably survive without a car."

"Probably more than some would say that about me," he agreed, smirking a little at her words.

"Anyway, a car isn't really in my budget right now, and I usually get around just fine. It's just that there's no one around to give me a ride tonight, unfortunately."

He sighed in realization. "So, Nathan is still being pigheaded and childish about everything, I take it."

To his surprise – and most likely hers as well – she gave him a small smile at that. "No one's going to say that he didn't come by it honestly, though."

The blunt assessment, or brutal honesty as he might term it, didn't enrage him as it would have not too long ago. Instead, he just nodded his agreement. "Well, there's certainly more hope for Nathan than there was for me, but if I can come to a point where I start getting things, I think Nathan will get there sooner rather than later."

"I – well, I hope so," she managed to get out – just barely. Dan's forthrightness still had the power to knock her senses loose, and this was no exception.

"So," he began, changing the subject as he sensed the current topic getting a little too weird for both of them, "Is everything alright? I know that it isn't any of my business, but if you're in trouble there are probably things I can do to help."

"Can you make my parents move back here so I have people to stay with that might want me with them without totally imposing?" she snapped before she could think better of it. "I'm…sorry, I didn't mean that. I don't know what I mean."

He barely spared her a glance as he maneuvered the car through the quiet streets. When he does, it was without any of the venom she had almost been anticipating. "Things aren't going well with Brooke then?"

Her lips twisted in a sad impersonation of a smile. "No, things with Brooke definitely are not going well. It was probably never a good idea that I stay there with her. Now it seems so obvious that it was stupid and pointless, but at the time it seemed like a good idea. Or maybe I was more desperate than I even realized."

"I suppose you don't really want to hear this from me, but you've never struck as being particularly desperate," he offered. "You might not have come back to the best situation possible, but you weren't desperate."

She actually laughed a little at that. "It's weird, but that helps. Thank you."

He couldn't cover his surprise at that admission. The gratitude was undoubtedly even more shocking to him, but he managed to acknowledge it with a slight inclination of his head. "You're welcome. I have to admit, I was fairly positive that you'd bite my head off for offering an opinion like that."

"Well, maybe most of the time I would, but I think I needed to hear it right now," she conceded with a sigh. It was hard that he was being so decent to her most of the time when her husband was being quite the opposite. It was frustrating and disconcerting, but in some ways, she appreciated what he was doing for her. Sure, their relationship was based on mutually assured destruction via blackmail, but it was becoming more stable than most of the other things she had going on.

"You know, Nathan will come around for you," Dan said quietly. "Again, not my business and frankly this is probably something we shouldn't talk about, but he will."

It actually helped her that he said that. She wasn't positive that he was right, but it gave her a little something to hold onto when she needed it. With the way things had been going lately, she definitely needed it. Since the scene in the café, Nathan had been stonewalling her at her school and not responding to her calls or texts. Even though she had anticipated it to some extent, it didn't really lesson the blow.

She shrugged. "Well, thanks. I'm not entirely sure if he will come around, but I do hope you're right. I – I never meant to hurt him."

Dan glanced sideways at her, nodding slightly. "Frankly, that's kind of obvious."

"To everyone but Nathan," Haley snorted, shaking her head.

He sighed. "Even though it was clearly unintentional, you did hurt him. And he's just protecting himself now, and for Nathan, that means taking the easy way out. Don't let him; he needs you to keep him from doing that to himself. He'd regret it forever."

To say she was shocked by his words would be the understatement of her lifetime. She was fairly sure that if she'd been standing, he could have knocked her over with a feather. She was just that shocked.

"Is – are you messing with me?" she asked tiredly. Both noticed that there wasn't much suspicion behind the mild accusation.

"No, I'm not," he shrugged, letting out a little laugh. "Honestly, you're good for Nathan. You've been able to get through to him in ways that I've never seen him let anyone do before, including his mother and I. That's – well, I admire that."

She sank back into her seat, perhaps in mild shock. This was all so unexpected. Sure, she knew full well of the effort he was making with her boys, but she never in a million years thought that he might come around for her. Never. She wasn't complaining, exactly, but the whole situation was weird enough that it was throwing her for some seriously huge loops.

He glanced over at her, outright chuckling this time. "If it would make you feel better, I can go back to taunting and torturing you over every little thing possible."

She had to laugh at that. "No, I think I can live with that, thanks," she muttered sarcastically. "Both Nathan and Luke are hugely important to me, Dan. I think you know that, and I think you appreciate it because their importance in your life is equal but different to what it is in mine."

"They don't know that about me yet, though. That's what is hard for me to see someone else have with them. And you have that, in spades."

"I love both of them," she said honestly. "Lucas has been my best friend practically longer than I can remember, and Nathan, he's – everything. I don't even know what I'd do without them, and that's why all of this is so scary to me."

"It's obvious that you love them, but Haley, it's obvious they both love you, too. I told Lucas the other night that the reason, well, besides the obvious parental objections, that I've been so resistant to you is that I'm jealous. You – it's so easy for you with both of them, and I hate that I don't have that. I don't even have anything close to that with either of them, and it's easy to be resentful over that."

She honestly did not know how to address that. So much of it, maybe all of it, was his fault. Sure there was some stubbornness on the part of her boys, but that was pretty much justified in every way possible, at least to her mind. that wasn't to say she didn't empathize with Dan now that he was making the effort and coming from a seemingly good place, but the fact of the matter was that this was new. This was not the way things had always been, and she couldn't blame Lucas or Nathan for being cautious, hesitant or downright distrustful.

Both of the young men in question were without doubt stubborn and bullish, but Luke was already starting to come around. That didn't surprise her at all considering how easy most of his relationships were, excepting his ridiculous ability to entangle himself in the stupidest romances she had ever seen. Nathan was more difficult. Things with him were rarely easy, and things between him and Dan had always been a challenge. In fact, she knew that their relationship was one of the easiest he'd ever had until she had blown it by leaving town to pursue the fleeting dream of musical stardom.

"If it makes you feel better, I think you and I are pretty much on the same level in Nathan's eyes," she offered with a sigh.

"You aren't going to tell me everything between me and my sons is entirely my fault?" he asked, surprised by that omission.

She shrugged, turning her gaze out the window of the car. "Would I be telling you anything you didn't already know? Look, Dan, I don't think you should be jealous of my relationship with either of them. Because my relationships with them are different, and neither a wife nor a best friend takes anything away from a father-son relationship. That being said, I can see where it would be frustrating for you."

"It's hard now, trying to change how I deal with them. No, how I relate to them. With Nathan, I've always just pushed him so hard to succeed in the areas that I couldn't. With Lucas, I spent so long pushing him out of my life that…well, it's like I told Karen, even though it is what I want, I can't believe he is willing to spend time with me."

She had to smile at that as they pulled into the dealership parking lot. "Luke is good like that, you know? He's forgiven me for so many things I never thought he would, but he just has this capacity to be so good and kind and understanding."

Dan pulled into his parking space, turning off the car. "Somehow, I have a hard time picturing you doing anything that either of them would truly consider unforgivable."

"Well, I'm pretty sure that Nathan has an annotated, chronological list that would prove otherwise," she sighed as they got out of the car. "As for Luke, well, when I first started seeing Nathan, I wasn't sure that he'd forgive that. I probably should have known better, but I was scared. Just like I am now, keeping all of this from him. From both of them."

"Are you really worried that Lucas will be mad at you? If anyone, I think it'd be me that he'd be angry with in this scenario," Dan pointed out, unlocking the door and punching in the alarm code. "I'm the one who had to be blackmailed into doing the right thing. You were the one who cared enough to do it."

She smiled slightly at that. "Well, Luke might come around eventually on it. He'd definitely be angry that involved myself in everything, but maybe he'd let it go eventually. It's Nathan and Karen that I really worry about. Not telling them that Luke is sick is such a huge deal. It's – it's a really big thing to keep from two of the three most important people in my life. Karen is going to be so hurt and so angry, and Nathan will probably never forgive me for it."

She moved away from him then, going to her desk and taking out the key to Karen and Luke's place that she had stashed there. While he wasn't being antagonistic and seemed genuinely curious, it was still upsetting that he was making these presumptions that any of this was easy for her. None of it was easy, and all this conversation had done was remind her what was at risk due to her lies of omission.

"I do understand, you know," he said from where he stood near the door. "I understand what it is you have to lose here. I – I think that we're actually in the same boat."

"Right, our mutually assured destruction," she nodded, her head down.

"While that's an interesting side not, that wasn't what I meant," he chuckled. At that, she looked up in curiosity. "I just meant that I've finally realized how important those two boys are to me, not to mention all that I've missed out on with them. Now that I've gotten even a tiny bit of it with Lucas, the thought of losing it again is not very pleasant."

"Well," she snipped back at him, "What is "not very pleasant" for you is downright terrifying for me."

Dan folded his arms over his chest and regarded her closely. "There's no need to get worked up, Haley. I think we can both agree that it is not in either of our best interests to say or do anything that would upset things for any of us."

Logically, that made sense. But she hadn't had the best day, and she wasn't feeling particularly logical about anything. She did, however, have enough wits about her to realize that arguing with Dan Scott would get her absolutely nowhere, so she kept her mouth shut. "Would you mind dropping me off at Karen's? She gave me a key and told me it was okay if I needed to stay there. That's what I needed to pick up here."

"Sure," Dan agreed easily, motioning her towards the door. Once they got out to the car, he thought quietly about their conversation as he pulled the car out of the lot. He didn't attempt to engage her in further conversation knowing it wouldn't do either of them any good. He said a quiet goodbye to her when she got out of the care in front of his ex-girlfriend and son's small house, and she thanked him for the ride in return.

As he watched her get safely into the house, he realized that it wasn't just jealousy he felt of this girl's relationships with his sons. He was also jealous of her ability to risk so much to make them happy and keep them safe. Realizing that someone would risk their dearly held relationships for the health of a friend was something of a shock to him, and he realized that he was jealous of her bravery.

He drove to his apartment slowly, contemplating swinging by his former home to tell his son that his wife needed him. He knew how well that would go over for all of them, though, so he refrained. But for the first time in his life, he felt like an adult with the good kind of fatherly instincts and they even extended beyond his own sons.

Definitely not what he had been expecting when he answered Haley's call earlier that evening. Not at all what he was expecting.

Haley was up early the next morning in an attempt to get her work done as quickly as possible. She didn't have high hopes, but she was thinking that Dan might not mind too much if she left when she finished her daily tasks. The walk to the dealership from Karen's place was a lot shorter than it had been from Brooke's apartment, so she took her time to enjoy the brisk early morning air.

She had to admit to herself that she was still a little bit unnerved by the conversation she'd had with Dan the night before. When she compounded that with everything going with Luke's illness, Brooke's bitchiness and the secrets she was keeping from Nathan and Karen, she was feeling pretty horrible. She was mad at herself, mad at Dan, angry at Brooke and frustrated with Nathan and Luke. If Dan would just let her leave a little early, she had plans to deal with Nathan. It was time they sat down and had a real conversation. There were a few things she wanted him to understand.

Something had to give with him. She knew that she'd done things very wrong in regards to him and their marriage when she left on the tour, but she'd been nearly five months now. while he'd started to thaw to her a lot more recently than he had initially, he still used anything he could as an excuse to pull back and continue shutting her out. She understood his reticence about forgiving her, but all the same, she knew things could not go on the way they were for much longer. It was a horrible situation for both of them.

Her biggest problem was that she felt like couldn't confront him, not when she was hiding the truth from him about Luke's illness and her employment and slash or deal with the devil, Dan. How could she demand anything from him when she wasn't able to provide him with everything she wanted to give him?

Just the same, she had to do something. She knew that beyond a shadow of a doubt. The holidays were fast approaching, and frankly she wanted a Christmas with her husband. She wanted to begin building traditions with him and making memories they'd have forever. The way Nathan had been lately, though, had her thinking his plans involved shutting himself in his room at Deb's and refusing to see anyone, most specifically her.

She knew it hurt him that she had stayed at the café the other night when Dan had been there, but she couldn't let herself validate his bad behavior that way. He was wrong, and she knew that if she wanted things to go back to the way they were or preferably better, then she had to force herself to call him on it when he acted like a jerk. She always did that before, and while he had never especially liked it, she knew he respected that she stood up to him when she thought he was wrong.

It just wasn't as likely to go over so well now, though. Not after everything that had happened, but at the same time, neither of them could continue as they were. It wasn't fair, and she knew it wasn't healthy. The thing was, she wasn't ready to throw an ultimatum out there at him because of the mantle of guilt she was wearing. Still, she kept coming back to the fact that she felt miserable, Nathan seemed miserable and someone needed to do something about it.

Unfortunately for her, she knew she was going to have to be that someone.

Sighing as she looked up at the glowing neon lights of the dealership sign, she made her way inside, making small talk with some of the salesmen. They'd all been nice to her since the beginning, and they still went out of their way to make her feel like part of the team. It was one of the things that made the job not completely suck. Not that she thought it sucked, much. She did nearly as much work on the campaign projects as she did general administrative tasks around the dealership, and truth be told, she liked it a lot better. A lot of the things Dan let her do were above her obvious qualifications, but she had the aptitude, determination and interest to figure most of it out pretty easily.

Right now, he had her planning a cocktail part for over 200 of Tree Hill's finest businesspeople and community leaders. No one was more surprised by her than how much she loved planning this party. It was definitely not the type of thing she'd been into before, but there was something about choosing everything, making a thousand tiny decisions and being in charge that she had to admit to loving.

Plus it was a good distraction if nothing else.

Anything that could keep her busy enough that her focus was off her own problems was good enough for her right now. Planning this party just had the bonus of being fun and exciting and challenging enough to make it even better. The part that it was so Dan, her power hungry, demanding father-in-law, could gain even more power was just plain weird. But it was a job, and he was paying her far more than she could ever even dream to make elsewhere, so it was easy to set all the rest out of her mind.

Time flew by, and before she knew it, it was noon and she had finished with all of her expected daily tasks and had even worked a little ahead on the party planning. Biting the bullet, she made her way to Dan's office and knocked on the door. He called for her to come in, and she pushed the door open slowly, peeking through the opening.

"Hi Dan. I've got everything finished up plus I'm a little ahead of schedule with all of the party stuff. Would you mind if I took off early today?" she asked.

"Oh, well, sure," he agreed, looking surprised by her appearance there and the request. "You're always ahead of schedule with those things, so I suppose it wouldn't hurt anything for you to leave early today."

"Thanks," she nodded, awkwardly shuffling her feet. "And thank you for helping me out last night. I just – it was a bad night, and I didn't really have anyone else to ask for help. So, thank you."

He smiled, just a touch sardonically. "You're welcome. I'm glad I could come through as a last resort." She blushed bright red, and tried to sputter out a response. He laughed, holding up a hand. "I was teasing, Haley. I'm sure it is shocked, but I am capable of it once in a great while."

She shook her head, trying to hide her embarrassment. "Well, you use it effectively, that's for sure," she muttered. "Thanks, though. For letting me go early. And the other stuff."

"You're a good employee, Haley. I guess it comes as something as a surprise considering how I've acted towards Nathan, but I'm not a total slave driver to my employees. I will reward people when they do a good job."

Haley bit her lip, quickly weighing the pros and cons of what she wanted to ask him. "Then why? Why were you so different with Nathan?"

Dan stood up, moving to look out the window. There was a long, uncomfortable silence during which she worried that she had overstepped her bounds again and waited for him to answer. "I think that in the beginning, I just wanted him to be good and have fun. Somewhere along the line, it became more than that." He sighed heavily, turning back around to face her. "Someday I'll have to figure out a way to explain it and have this conversation with him."

"I hope you can do that," she nodded, stepping backwards through the door. "Thanks again for letting me take off early. I do appreciate it."

With that, she left the dealership and wandered back through town toward Nathan's house. She wasn't in a particular hurry as she needed a little bit of time to get her thoughts in order, but she was still on something of a mission. She didn't even know if he was home or if he'd be willing to spend some time with her, but she was going to push him for it.

It was time.

She decided that she wouldn't throw any ultimatums at him, but she did want to clear the air about what happened at the café the other night. He needed to understand that while he was the most important part of her world, she did have other friends and family, and they deserved consideration from her as well. As tempting as it was, she knew that she could not completely give herself over to Nathan the way he seemed to want from her. She knew that was a result of her leaving, that this was just another test. But she felt confident that this test wasn't fair, and if he persisted, it was maybe the one that she wouldn't be able to pass.

Sighing as she realized she was already in front of the large Scott house, she walked up to the door and rang the bell. To her disappointment, it was Deb who answered. "Haley! Hi honey, how are you?

"Hi Deb. I'm doing alright. I have the afternoon off work, and I was hoping that Nathan had a few minutes to talk, if he is home. Is he here?" she asked, smiling politely.

"He just got back from a run, actually," Deb offered with a smile. "Go ahead and run up to his room. I'm sure he won't mind you stopping by for a visit."

Haley wasn't so sure about that, but she certainly wasn't going to turn down Deb's offer. She smiled gratefully and thanked her before bounding up the stairs. When she got to Nathan's room, she unthinkingly pushed the partially open door without knocking. To her embarrassment and excitement, Nathan was standing there as he toweled his hair off. With no clothes on.

"Oh, crap," she muttered, staring covetously at him like an idiot until she checked herself and ducked back into the hall. "God, I'm sorry, I should've knocked. No, I should have waited downstairs. Oh! I should have called like any normal human being, and gosh, I'm just sorry, Nathan. I didn't mean to intrude on you. I swear I'm not some crazy peeping Tom or anything like that. I promise."

She could hear him laughing in his room which she took as a good sign, and she exhaled with relief when he pulled the door back open and reached out to yank her back into the room. He sat her on his bed as he pulled on a pair of sweats. "You aren't seriously embarrassed to see me naked, are you?" he teased, tossing the damp towel at her. "It's not like you haven't seen several hundred times before."

Haley shrugged, staring down at her hands. "When I saw it before, I was supposed to see it. I wasn't just barging into your bedroom like I had a right to be there. I shouldn't have barged in like that."

Nathan just laughed again. "Well, knocking might be a good idea, but it really is okay, Hales. I'm not mad or embarrassed."

"I guess I'll just have to be embarrassed enough for the both of us then," she sighed, thinking about how this was not how this meeting was supposed to start. How was she supposed to concentrate now that she'd gotten a glimpse of her hot husband in the buff?

"Come on, Haley. It's fine."

She shook her head, still avoiding his gaze. "Well, thanks for being nice about it. I do feel bad though."

"For seeing me naked?" he teased.

"Well, mostly for not knocking," she sighed, throwing the towel back him. "But if you keep teasing me, I might have to resort to insulting your manhood. Anything to get you to stop."

He threw his head back with laughter. "You know, for being such a genuinely nice person, you do frequently prove to have a mean streak a mile wide. I really do like that about you."

She choked back a laugh, shaking her head at him. "Yeah, you would like that."

Nathan sat down next to her on the bed, nudging her lightly with his elbow. "Well?" She glanced up at him, a blank look on her face. "Did you like what you saw?"

"You know I did," she blushed, elbowing him back. "I just – I really didn't mean to walk in on you like that, Nathan. I mean, things are so weird right now anyway, so me just busting in like I have any business doing that was – I didn't mean to make things weirder."

"I didn't think you did," he grins, looping an arm over her shoulders and pulling her into his side. "Haley, look at me, its okay. I swear its okay."

The words were sweet, and she knew that he was trying to make her feel better. Unfortunately, they basically had the opposite effect. "No!" she exclaimed, jumping up and pacing across the room. "Nothing is okay. Nothing! And it's almost Christmas, and I'm all alone, and my parents are gone, and I don't know where I'm going to live, and you don't want me around, and nothing is okay. Nothing is okay."

He stared at her in horror as she covered her face with her hands as she dissolved into tears. "Haley, I – "

"No," she sighed, letting out a tearful, sad laugh. "No, I'm sorry. I thought I could come over and talk to you, but clearly I'm too much of a mess to do that. I just, I should go."

"Don't go. I don't want you to leave, Haley," he said seriously, jumping up off the bed. He moved quickly to stand in front of her as though he were afraid she'd bolt. "I'm sorry I teased you."

"I'm not upset about that, Nathan." She let out a wry laugh, shaking her head as she tried to brush away the tears. "I'm not entirely sure what I'm upset about besides everything, I guess."

He moved closer, reaching out and grabbing one of her hands and holding in both of his. "What's going on, Hales? You said a lot, and we're going to talk about it all, but what do you mean you don't know where you're going to live? What happened to your apartment with Brooke?"

She seemed to crumple at his concern, and he dropped her hand, moving closer to lift her up into his arms. Settling them back onto the bed, he kept her in his lap and waited for her to speak. They both knew that she would when she was ready. She curled herself into him, letting herself just breathe him in for a few moments as she got her emotions under control.

"Sorry I'm such a mess," she sighed, cuddling against his chest. All she could really concentrate on was how good it felt to be held against his bare chest again.

"You aren't a mess," he murmured into her hair. "You're the least messy person I know. You always have been that way, too. Whatever is going on now is probably just dust, not a real mess."

His teasing words had the desired effect, and she laughed a little. "I am, though. Everything is askew right now, and I'm not doing a very good job at figuring out how to get it all right."

He pressed a kiss to her temple. "You don't always have to be the one to figure things out, you know. The rest of us should take responsibility for ourselves, too."

She slipped off his lap, scooting back to lean against the headboard. She smiled at him when he followed suit. "I packed a bag and left Brooke's place. She kept throwing my mistakes in my face, and I – I couldn't do it. I couldn't let her keep doing that to me. I've been trying to be a good friend to her, Nathan! I really have, but it's like she's…I know you don't want to hear about this."

"Yeah, I do, Hales. If talking about this is going to make you feel better, then yeah, I do. And I definitely want to know where you're staying, and if you're okay. When did you leave? Where did you go?"

"I left last night," she sighed. Dragging a hand through her hair, she managed another smile. "And Karen had given me a key to her and Luke's place, so I went there. They're out of town right now, but when she gets back, I'll see if her offer of a room still stands. Cross your fingers for me, yeah?"

He frowned slightly, obviously not impressed with what he was hearing. "So you just left the apartment without a solid backup plan? Haley, that's crazy! Why didn't you call me?"

"And say what, Nathan? You haven't even acknowledged me in the halls at school since I stayed at the café the other night. I didn't want another fight."

He cursed quietly, pulling her back onto his lap. "I don't want to fight with you either. Look, I know I was a jerk the other night. There's no excuse, but I felt out of place as it was being on Luke's turf and then Dan showing up…" He hugged her tightly to him, his hand inching under the fabric of her sweater. "It threw me for a loop. I – I didn't know Dan was spending time with him."

Haley didn't really know what to say about that, but she knew that it was one area she has to be honest with him. "He stops by a couple of nights a week for dinner. That's the only contact they have, and it seems awkward, but I will tell you that they're both really trying." She shifted so that her legs were draped over his lap and she could loop her arms around his neck. "Nathan, you should talk to them. Maybe start with Luke. He does know how you feel about Dan."

"If he knew how I felt, he wouldn't be breaking bread with him at his mom's café," Nathan muttered darkly. "It's too weird."

"He's just trying, you know? Dan is trying and he's doing his part, too."

"Why didn't you call me?" Nathan asked, abruptly changing the subject. "If you needed to escape Brooke, I'd have helped you, you know I would have."

Even though she's thrown by the subject change, she quickly brushed it off with a small smile. "Oh, Nathan, I couldn't call you. I was dealing with my own mess, and I didn't need to bother you with it. Besides, I knew Karen wouldn't mind if I crashed there, at least for a little while. There was no need to bother you."

He regarded her with a serious look that she found to be slightly disconcerting. "It wouldn't have been a bother to me, Hales. If you need help, I'm always here."

She sighed, squeezing his hand. "I do appreciate that, but it really wasn't a big deal. In a way, I think it was good for me to have some time to myself just to think."

"And what did you think about?" he asked, trying to sound light but she knew he worried what her answer might be. "Any life-changing decisions?"

"Nothing quite so serious as all that. And maybe I wasn't think so much as wallowing. It's not that I feel sorry for myself because I know I made my own bed, but I'm just tired and stressed and tired of being stress," she admitted wearily.

He sighed, pressing another kiss to her temple. "Sorry. I mean, I know I'm contributing a lot of the stress. That scene at the café the other night…"

"About that," she began, nervously fiddling with the bracelet circling her wrist, "I know it isn't any of my business, but I want you to be happy. And I wouldn't say this if I didn't think were true, so please know I really mean it: I think having relationships with Dan and Luke will make you happy."

He made a scoffing noise at that. "It sounds nice, but I just don't know if that can ever happen. There's just too much water under the bridge, you know? Too many things have happened, too many words have been said. Especially with my dad."

Haley nodded, running her hand through his hair. "I do understand why you feel that way, and I don't fault you for it. No one does. And I don't think you should give Dan a chance for Dan's sake, but for your own. It's just, I've seen them, you know? He's trying with Luke, and that is something I never thought I would see."

"Yeah, I don't understand that," Nathan agreed. "What changed? Why are they so buddy-buddy all of a sudden?"

"This is so weird, but your father seems to have turned over a new leaf."

Nathan really could not contain his disparaging snort at that. "Yeah, that isn't the first time he's tried to pull that, though. It never lasts."

She couldn't argue against that knowing as much of their history as she does. But she was still willing to offer her perspective on things now. "I'm no expert in all things Dan Scott, but honestly, it seems different this time. He seems sincere. He's definitely trying with Luke, and he's said that he wants to try with you, too. He means it, Nathan."

"What am I supposed to do with that?"

"Whatever you want," she smiled. "Honestly, Nathan, you have to do what will make you happy, what's best for you. If you want my opinion, having close relationships with your brother and father will make you happier, but that isn't really for me to decide. I don't really get much say in anything in your life, do I?"

He winced at that. "Haley…"

She laughed a little, shaking her head. "No, don't. I shouldn't have said that; it wasn't fair."

"You can say anything you want to me, Hales. There's no one whose opinion is more important than yours. It's okay that sometimes I won't like what you have to say," he teased, nudging her slightly. "We need to have a serious talk, don't we?"

Crinkling her nose up nervously, she nodded. "We do. I just don't want us to go on hurting each other the way we have been, and maybe if we talk things through…"

Nathan nodded. "Yeah, you're right. We do. It's been so easy to put off because I'm not sure if I'm ready to – to make a decision, I guess."

"I'm scared, too. Terrified, actually."

"Oh, Haley."

"Shh. It's okay. I'm okay, just worried. Nervous."

He sighed. "Again, I hate that I'm adding to your stress with everything. I know I've been a jerk and I hate hurting you, but I haven't figured out how to not be so angry."

She smiled at that, sitting back and drawing her knees up to her chest. "Oh, baby, you deserve to be angry with me. I don't expect you to let it all go overnight, I promise."

"I'm trying," he said quietly. "It probably doesn't seem like it because I blow up and blame you for things that you don't deserve, but I am trying. I don't know what's wrong with me."

She genuinely laughed at that. "There is nothing wrong with you! I made mistakes, and you're holding me accountable for them. While I'd rather not be lashed out at for things that other people are doing, I do understand why it is so easy to be angry with me."

"I'll definitely try not to be such a jerk to you when I'm angry at other people," he grinned at her in return. "That definitely seems fair."

"Thanks," she murmured, smiling shyly at him. Sometimes it amazed her how much even the tiniest scraps of affection from him could melt her. Maybe she just appreciated them more now after she'd come so close to never getting anything from him again. "I know you guys are having your problems, but Luke is my friend and he needs me right now. I can't just turn my back on him."

"It felt like you were choosing him," Nathan admitted. "When you wanted to stay there with him instead of leaving with me, it hurt. It shouldn't, but it did."

Haley nodded, having expected something like that. "I know, but you have to know that I didn't meant it that way. Nathan, I'd do almost anything for you if you'd let me, and I'd spend all my time with you if I could. We both know that's not possible, but it doesn't mean I don't want it. I'm just worried about Luke right now, and I can't, oh, I don't know."

Nathan frowned, leaning back to rest his head against the headboard. "Why are you so worried about him, anyway? Because Peyton left? He's a big boy, he should be able to deal with that stuff on his own. He probably doesn't need you to hold his hand for him."

She bit her lip, unsure of what to do. She could – and she should – tell him the truth. She even wanted to tell him the truth, more than anything. And maybe it would be worth feeling like a terrible friend if she could share this burden with Nathan, with anyone other than Dan. Because right now, it felt like Dan was the only person she had to share her worry for Luke, and while he did clearly share it, she wasn't sure that was the best case scenario. She never more regretted making a promise to anyone as she did the one she'd made to Luke that she'd keep this one.

"Luke's got some things going on, and I'm the idiot who promised she'd keep quiet about them," she told him with a sigh. "I want to tell you. More than anything, but I promised even though I knew I shouldn't."

He frowned, but nodded reluctantly. "If you promised, I understand. As long it's not life or death, right?" he joked, drawing back in confusion when she flushed and averted her gaze. "Haley. It's not life or death, is it?"

Squeezing her eyes tightly shut, she shook her head. "Nathan – "

"Haley, he's my brother. I know things have been crap between us lately, but if something is wrong, I should know. You know that."

"He's okay right now, Nathan. It's just, he has HCM. He swore me to secrecy, and oh, my gosh, how do I feel both better and worse for telling you?" she wondered aloud, holding her face in her hands. Nathan sat back, stunned. "I promised him that I wouldn't tell anyone. He hasn't even told Karen, Nathan. And I – it's all such a mess."

Nathan glanced up sharply at her. "Karen doesn't know? But then how is he getting medicine. I thought that it was regulated by medicine, so how is he taking care of that?"

She sighed wearily. "That's how I found initially. Karen accused me of stealing money from the register at the café, and I knew right away that it was probably Luke. When I confronted him, I had to force it out of him. He won't let me tell Karen, Nathan. What if something happens?"

He swore quietly under his breath, cursing his brother for putting this burden on his wife's slender shoulders. "I'm sorry, babe. This shouldn't be on you to take care of and worry about for him. Is he still taking money to get the medicine?"

"This is where it gets weird," she sighed reluctantly, and knowing that Nathan would not like this part of the story. She also felt better, though. Having him listen to her and empathize with her was truly freeing. "He wasn't going to keep taking the meds after Karen caught on to the missing money. And Dan was going to pay for them, but – okay, before I go on, I need you to promise me that you'll listen and not get mad. At least let me get through the story because it gets worse before it gets better, okay? Just know that in the end, he's got meds."

His eyebrows drew together as he scowled at her. "What did my father do?"

Haley rolled her eyes at him, nudging his leg with her foot. "Please let me get through this. It's – you're going to be mad at me, more than you already are, and I need to get all of it out."

"Yeah, okay," he agreed quietly, and she could see the worry on his face. "I'm not sure why I'd be mad at you, but I promise I won't interrupt you again. If I have questions, you'll answer those, right?"

"Definitely," she agreed immediately. "So, when Luke first found out about the HCM, Dan did, too. And he was going to pay for the meds. Unfortunately, he put some conditions on it that Luke wasn't willing to agree to follow. That's why he ended up taking money from the café."

"Jesus," Nathan muttered, dragging a hand over his face. "Sorry, go on."

Haley smiled, grabbing his hand and holding tight. "When I – well, I found out and was furious with him, absolutely beyond angry that he hadn't told his mom or at least you or me. I mean, I suppose it wouldn't seem like I could help much, but I was still just blindingly mad that he didn't tell me."

"No kidding," Nathan nodded in agreement, "I'm pissed he didn't want to tell anyone, too."

"Yeah, it was so stupid. It is so stupid. But then I got involved, and I know you're going to hate this, but I went to Dan." Nathan blinked in surprise. "I know! I didn't want to do it, but I didn't know what else to do. He made me promise not to tell you or Karen, and since Dan already knew, I figured I could blackmail him into paying for the medicines."

Nathan blinked at that. "I'm sorry, you did what?"

"I tried blackmailing Dan into buying Luke's medicine. I didn't know what else to do, Nathan. I couldn't buy them myself, and Luke can't afford it either. It just seemed like there was nothing else to do, like I had no other options. Of course, things with Dan weren't so simple as just basic, old-fashioned blackmail," she sighed.

"What did he do?" When she didn't respond right away, he gripped her upper arms until she looked up at him. "What did he do to you, Haley?"

"He didn't 'do' anything other than assure our mutual destruction," she answered quietly. At his blank look, she elaborated, "I blackmailed him into getting Luke the medicines, and he bullied me into doing something he wanted.

Pure anger shuttered across her husband's handsome face. "What the hell did that man do to you?"

Haley sighed, frustrated with her inability to do this in any manner even close to being a right way. She moved to where she was kneeling beside him. "Nathan, he didn't 'do' anything. Oh, he was a jerk and he mocked me and us and our marriage, but he didn't actually do anything. He refused at first, but eventually we worked out an arrangement."

Nathan's face paled dramatically at that. "An arrangement? With my father? What did he con you into, Haley?"

"He made me – Nathan, please don't be mad. If I could've thought up a better solution, I never would have done it, alright? I just want you to know that," she whispered urgently, pleadingly.

"Okay, now you're just freaking me out. Did he make you do something weird? Something…inappropriate?"

"What? Well, no, he just leveraged my blackmail and concern for Luke into me working for him at the dealership. I – that's my new job. I didn't tell you because…well, for several reasons, really. I'm sure you've figured all of them out already."

He breathed out in relief. "Damn it, you scared me. I mean, he hasn't done anything like that before that I know of, but it didn't seem out of the realm of possibility that he'd do something like that, especially if it would be sticking it to multiple people." He shook his head again. "But you're working for him? At the dealership?"

She shrugged, more bothered by his assumptions that she'd have agreed to anything…weird…from Dan than she was willing to let on. "I've been doing a lot of campaign stuff recently, but yeah, I'm working for him." She looked up at him, her heart in her throat. "I'm sorry. For all of this."

He frowned at that. "I don't love that you didn't tell me these things, especially about Luke being sick. And I especially do not like that you've been working with my dad. I'd rather you not have to be near him at all."

"He hasn't been that bad. Well, he was a total jerk in the beginning, but he's different now. He has even acknowledged me as his daughter-in-law a couple of times, if you can believe that," she tried to joke, even though she knew it was a weak attempt.

"Jesus," Nathan muttered again. "I don't get this at all. You're just working for Dan now? And he's buying Luke's medicine and they're all friendly because of it? God, Haley, why didn't you tell me?"

She sighed, looking down at their joined hands where they rested on his lap. "I promised Luke I wouldn't, and then I – I was scared. Everything is already so messed up because of me, and this was just…just another lie, another broken promise to you. It wasn't about us, but it still wasn't fair to keep it all from you. Especially Luke being sick. You're his brother, you should know."

"Should he even be playing basketball? No, never mind, I know you wouldn't let him if he shouldn't. How – I don't get why you started working for Dan, Haley. What were you thinking, you know how he is?"

"I was thinking that I didn't know what else to do! I had no other way of getting my best friend the medication that he needed to regulate what could be a serious heart problem, and I did the only thing I could think of at the time!" She sighed, moving off the bed to stand up. "I know I messed up again, Nathan. But when Dan told me that he'd get Luke the money for the medicine if I took the job, I didn't really see another way. At the time, it seemed like my only option. And maybe it was, maybe it wasn't. All I know is that I'm so tired of being in the middle, so tired of trying to hold everything together and failing miserably, and I can't do it anymore. I just can't."

Without waiting for his reply, she turned and fled out of the house.


	12. Better to Ask Forgiveness than Permissio

**Chapter Twelve – **_**Better to Ask Forgiveness than Permission**_

After Haley ran out of his room, Nathan wasn't really sure what to do. He knew that she was extremely upset, and that maybe he should go after her, but he also respected the fact that she might have needed some space. He was familiar with that, and it certainly wasn't something he'd deny her of when there was no need for it. Not when he constantly demanded it from her, at any rate.

Cursing in frustration, he jumped when a knock sounded on his door. "Nathan? Is everything okay? Haley looked really upset when she ran out," his mom said quietly.

He sighed, not wanting to do this with her. "Mom, things are fine. Thanks for checking. There's just a lot going on right now."

"Did you fight? Honey, I know that you've been through a lot, but just think about what you're doing to her, okay? If you want to end it, end it. Don't keep dragging things out and letting her have hope. That's far crueler than cutting ties," Deb said through the door.

"Oh, come on," Nathan groaned, pulling the door open. "All this time, you've been a complete jerk to Haley, and now you're advocating some sort of kindness? Sorry that it's a little hard to swallow you having her best interests in mind."

Nathan rolled his eyes when a hurt expression flitted across his mother's face. "You know I don't wish ill for Haley. I don't even wish for the two of you to break up necessarily. I just think getting married at your age reckless and foolish and impossible. It would've been the same regardless of the girl."

He snorted at that. "Whatever, Mom. Look, I didn't even do anything this time; she's upset about other things that are none of your business. Actually, things between me and Haley are also not any of your business. Why are you doing this pretend to care thing? Is it because Dad is doing the same, even if it's with Luke?"

She gasped, taking a step back at that. "This isn't a competition, Nathan. You are my son, and I want what is best for you. As a parent, sometimes you and I will have differing perspectives on what that means. Of course, you're an emancipated "adult", so I suppose you don't have to listen to me anyway."

"You're right, I don't. But it's not the emancipation that makes me feel that way; it's the fact that you were a barely present parent. What good reason do I have to respect your opinions on anything, Mom?"

"I'm your mother! Nathan, I'm trying here, I'm trying with you. Why do you continue giving that girl all these chances, but you won't give me that same courtesy?"

He barked out a humorless laugh. "You're unbelievable. The second you realize it won't get you anywhere to be nice to Haley, you immediately attack her. 'That girl'? Really?"

"I didn't mean it like that," Deb sighed, trying frantically to convince Nathan of that. "I like Haley. She's a nice girl, but I just can't help but think her presence in your life has driven such a huge wedge between us."

"That's the – of course. Of course you'd say that. It's a lot easier to blame Haley than to admit that you're a crappy parent who dumped me here with an even crappier parent, isn't it?" Nathan snapped back.

Deb cringed, flushing guiltily. "I didn't know. I just didn't know how bad it was for you here with Dan. I thought that you were happy, that you two enjoyed the so-called bachelor lifestyle."

"Great. If you thought it, then it must be true." Nathan pulled on a sweatshirt, grabbed his basketball and pushed out the door past her. "I'm going out."

"No, Nathan, don't leave. Let's talk about this, please," his mother practically begged, but he just ignored her and continued out the house. He had more important fights burgeoning than this argument with his mother.

He could've grabbed his car keys, but he didn't. At the moment, walking was definitely a better option for him. He had a million and one thoughts swirling around in his head, and he had at least that many feelings per thought as well. He just wasn't entirely sure what those feelings were and which applied to whom.

Nathan knew he was mad. He just wasn't sure where it was directed. For the first time in recent memory, he didn't think the anger was really directed at Haley. He was probably frustrated at her, and he was a little disappointed that she'd keep secrets from him, but he wasn't really mad. He couldn't really be mad at her for keeping Luke's secret. Not if he was being reasonable about it, at any rate.

And if he was being honest, his feisty little wife had majorly surprised and impressed him again. He didn't figure there were many people in the world who could shoulder the burdens that she'd taken on, and done it with such grace and ferocity. Picturing her going up to and trying to blackmail his father was one of the best mental images he could dream up.

Honestly, he didn't know what he'd have done if he'd been in her position. If he really thought about it, he knew that he probably would've just gone along with whatever harebrained scheme Luke had. Not because he wouldn't have been worried or wanted him healthy, but because he knew he didn't have half the ingenuity or practicality or determination that was packed into her tiny body. She was so smart, and all of a sudden, he was realizing that she was really brave, too.

Who else would approach Dan Scott and successfully maneuver him into buying medication for a son he had spent a lifetime ignoring? No one Nathan knew would've done that aside from Haley.

He was impressed. There were no other words for it. What Haley had done for Luke in terms of taking Dan on was incredible, and the more time he had to think about it, the more impressed he was with all that she had done. In that moment, he was able to admit to himself what he'd been denying for so many months now: he was still in love with his wife, and they were by no means over. Admitting that, _embracing that_, felt better than he could've imagined. He was still wary, and he knew he couldn't really trust himself not to lash out or be a jerk when things got uncomfortable or too much, but at least he knew. It would be better for both of them this way.

Well, it would be better for him anyway. Maybe Haley didn't deserve all the crap he put her through and would probably continue to put her through. She definitely deserved better than him and his family, but at the same time, he knew he wouldn't let her go. He couldn't let her go. Hell, he didn't want to let her go.

Even though he hadn't really had a destination in mind when he'd left the house, he was unsurprised to realize his feet had unthinkingly carried him to the river court. What did surprise him was the fact that Dan was there, shooting free throws on the court that he had so many times denigrated to Nathan.

"What are you doing here, Dad?" Nathan grit out angrily, the Haley, Lucas and Dan situation too fresh in his mind.

Dan jerked in surprise, dropping his ball and whirling around to face his younger son. "Nathan, I, ah, well, I'm just getting in a little exercise." He looked at his son with a smile. "You want to play?"

It was on the tip of Nathan's tongue to refuse immediately, but something in him stopped him. "You want to play a game of one-on-one with me?"

Nathan knew there was probably some kind of vicious gleam in his eyes, and it was pretty clear that Dan recognized it for what it was. "I was thinking more along the lines of shooting around a little bit, actually. We both know you'd wipe the floor with your old man one-on-one. There's nothing to be proven there."

Snorting, Nathan dribbled his ball casually a few times before putting it through the net. "Maybe I don't have anything to prove there, but you have a lot of damn things to answer for right now, Dad."

Dan stilled, taken aback by Nathan's sneer. "You're right, I do. Why don't we grab a seat and talk about some of those things? That might be more productive than this."

"Oh, yeah, let's just sit down and have a heart to heart, Dad. Won't that be fun? We can talk about all the lies you like to tell, all the blackmailing you like to do. That does seem like a good time to me. In fact, I don't know why I didn't think of it!"

"What are you talking about now, Nathan?" Dan asked warily, clearly caught off guard by the venom in Nathan's voice. He knew that Dan had caught onto just how angry he was at that moment. "What have I done to upset you this time?"

Nathan stared at him stonily. "Gee, I don't know. Whatever could you possibly have done that would upset me. Maybe if you think really hard about it, something will come to you."

Dan sighed, pushing a hand through his hair in a gesture Nathan knew was so similar to one of his own that it just enraged him even more. "Is this because I've been eating dinner with Lucas lately? Look, Nathan, I can understand why that may upset you, but me trying to establish a relationship with Lucas doesn't take anything away from what I want to reestablish with you. In fact, if you're interested, I'd like you to be there with us. It'd – I think it'd be nice to have all three of the Scott men together for a change."

Nathan gazed at him incredulously. "Yeah, that seems like a great idea, Dad. Let's all just get together – hey, at the Café, that's not awkward at all, right? – and break bread. You – you're unbelievable. Do you even think before you spew out this crap?"

"What's going on with you, Nathan? You're angry with me, I understand that. I even respect that, though you may not believe that part. But there's nothing I can do to get us past this if you won't talk to me."

"Oh, yeah, like you talked to me before blackmailing my wife into working for you?" Nathan sneered, grabbing a shocked Dan's shirt and shaking him hard once before releasing him with a hard shove backwards. "She told me. She told me what you did to Luke, and she told me what you did to her. How could you? How could you force her to work for you when she was already taking on all the responsibility of trying to help Luke out? How could you force her to do anything when she was just making you own up and do the right damn thing for once in your life?"

"Nate, son, I – "

"Forget it," Nathan growled. "Don't bother. You may have snowed her into thinking there's some decency in you and that you're sincere in wanting relationships with your kids, but I know you and I know better than that. Look, I know that you hate her for marrying me, for helping me get emancipated, but why would you screw with her like this? What is wrong with you?"

Dan sighed, still stunned by the outburst and revelation that Nathan now knew everything, or at least the major facts. "I'm glad she told you. Not only did you deserve to know what's going on with your brother, but I could tell the last couple of days that it has been really bothering Haley that she couldn't say anything."

"Yeah, that's great and all," Nathan bit out, "But at the moment, I'm a little more concerned about what the hell you were doing blackmailing my wife! She's not like us, Dad. She doesn't do the crap our family does, and you had no right forcing her to work for you when she just wanted her best friend to have access to the damn medication his father should be providing!"

Nodding, Dan turned away, staring out at the river. "You're not wrong, Nathan. What I did was despicable, even for me. And I won't lie; I saw it as an opportunity to get her working long hours and keep her away from you. Absolutely, I did that. But it isn't like that anymore. I – I've learned a lot from Haley, and quite frankly, if you think she doesn't give every bit as good as she gets, then you're doing her a serious disservice by underestimating her many abilities. She didn't take any crap from me, and I admire her quite a lot."

"Oh, don't give me that!" Nathan yelled. "Don't do that. You don't know her, you don't know how – how amazing she is and how funny and how – you just don't know. Don't talk about her like you do."

"She's worked for me for several months now, Nathan. Of course I don't know her as well as you do, but I've certainly come to respect her. She has the love of both of my sons; how could I not see some of the things that you both see in here?"

He hated hearing any words come out of his father's mouth about Haley. "Why don't you just tell me what the hell you were thinking in refusing to get Luke medicine? Damn it, Dad, what's wrong with you?"

Dan's head hung down even as a vein started ticking on his forehead. "There's not much I can say to defend myself. I know that. You know that. Everything you've said is true. I was wrong." He sighed, turning back to face Nathan. "What do you want me to say, Nathan?"

Nathan shook his head. "Just tell me the damn truth. What are you doing? What are you doing with Luke, and why the hell did you involve Haley in it?"

"Haley involved herself, Nathan. Yeah, I took advantage of that, but I'm not sorry. It worked out well, and I – well, I think she and I understand each other better now."

Not even bothering to respond, Nathan threw his ball at his father as hard as he could. Dan caught it, to both their surprise. "You wanted to play? Let's play, Dad." He didn't feel even a tiny bit badly as his father cringed at the anger and sarcasm in his voice when he drawled out 'Dad'. "Come on, you wanted this, let's do it. You get to start with the ball even."

They both knew that this game was going to end poorly, but Nathan also knew he'd backed Dan into something of a corner, and Dan let himself be goaded into playing. It was physical, brutally so, and they hadn't even been playing a full five minutes before Nathan took his opportunity to slam his elbow backwards, connecting with his father's eye socket. Dan went down hard on the concrete of the court, staring up at Nathan in dismay and frustration as his eye swelled and blood trickled from both a cut below his eyebrow and his nose.

"This is pointless," Nathan muttered angrily, turning around and kicking the now forgotten ball as hard as he could. "You'll never tell anyone the damn truth, will you? You'll never just own up to all the crap you put everyone through. But you'll use my wife to get in good with Luke, won't you? Was that part of your plan, too? Fool Haley into thinking you are sincere and then try to get in good with me?"

"Nathan, I already told you that hiring Haley was something I did to keep her away from you by monopolizing as much of her free time as possible," Dan sighed, gingerly feeling around his eye and nose for damage. "Why would you think I'd be trying to use her for something other than that? I made a mess of everything, Nathan. I fully admit and acknowledge that. I'm not trying to hurt anyone now; not you, not Lucas and not Haley."

Nathan rolled his eyes. "I might believe that if it had been true even once in recent memory. But you're always just out for yourself, even when you're doing something that seems to help someone else out. So what is it this time? What are you getting out of giving Luke his meds and hiring Haley to work for you? Because no offense? You don't have a generous bone in your body that would make me think any of this is out of the goodness of your heart."

Swallowing hard, Dan pushed himself back up to his feet, and took a few steps backwards away from his son. "I know you have a lot of reasons to think these things, Nathan. But I mean what I am saying to you. I am trying here, trying to do the right thing for my sons. I've never been good at that which is no secret, but I am trying. And contrary to what you think, I've already figured out that Haley is not a weapon I can or should use against either of you." He glanced out towards the river before re-settling his gaze on Nathan. "She doesn't take any crap from me, and she's made huge improvements at the dealership and on my campaign. I know I've added to her burden of keeping Luke's secret, but I'm over trying to make things worse for her."

"I'm so done with you and your lies, Dad. They never end, and maybe other people are willing to you chance after chance, but I'm not. I'm just…done. Stay away from me, and stay away from my wife. I don't want you to be near her at all," Nathan ordered brusquely.

"She works for me," Dan pointed out calmly, his jaw clenched so tightly it looked it might snap. "She's a good employee, she's well compensated and I think she likes what she gets to do. I'm not firing her, Nathan, just to suit your current whim."

Nathan glared back at him. "This isn't a whim! This is me protecting the one person I care about more than anything, and I will protect her from you at any cost."

Dan arched an eyebrow at that. "Oh, really? What does that mean, Nathan? What would you be willing to do to keep Haley away from me? Are you going to force her to quite the job that is most likely funding any college dreams she has and a future for you two? I'm pretty sure that's how she sees it."

"She's reasonable, Dad. When I remind her of all the crap you've pulled – keep pulling! – then I'm sure she'll understand why she should never be near you. I don't trust you, and I do not want you anywhere near my wife," Nathan stated flatly.

"Be reasonable, Nathan," Dan pleaded again. "Don't make this worse than it already is for everyone."

Nathan stared back at him implacably. "You keep hurting everyone around you, all of the family, but you want concessions. To make it worse, whenever you do something wrong, you try to turn it back around someone, anyone other than yourself. I won't let you do that to her, you don't get to drag her down with you."

Dan sighed, holding his hands up in defeat. The skin around his eye was rapidly coloring and swelling even as the blood flow from his nose and the cut on his eyebrow slowed to a trickle. "Nathan, I know that there's nothing I can say right now to convince you of my sincerity in any of this. Maybe someday you'll be able to see it, maybe I'll be able to prove myself to you, but I know it isn't going to happen right now. But you should know I'm not giving up on you. I have no intentions of hurting Haley, Lucas or you. Learning to do right by you and Lucas is important to me, and I'm going to do it. You don't have to like, but I am."

"Whatever, Dad," Nathan muttered, turning to walk away. Pausing after a few steps, he turned and looked back at Dan. "I mean it, leave Haley alone. Leave _me_ alone."

He stalked away, and this time, did not look back.

Haley Scott did something that Monday morning that she very, very rarely did. She skipped school. After the extraordinarily draining unburdening of her soul and sins to Nathan, she'd then had to follow that up with conversations with Luke and Karen explaining she needed a new place to stay. To her immense relief, they welcomed her with open arms. Karen had even confessed that she had hoped Haley would come to her sense and move in with them.

She knew they both could tell how upset she was, but so far they had seemed to chalk it up to stress related to the Brooke situation and her sudden need to move. And she was more than willing to let them believe that for as long as she feasibly could place the blame there. It wouldn't last forever, but even if it was only for a few more days, it would be a relief.

Unfortunately for her, she could not really avoid work. She needed her paycheck, and she wasn't such a coward that she wouldn't face Dan now that she'd spilled the beans to Nathan. In fact, she wanted to warn him even though she had a very strong suspicion that Nathan would've gone after him by now. She supposed she owed him an apology at the very least, even though that grated on her nerves some. She wasn't as convinced he was the antichrist as she used to be, but still didn't feel terribly happy with the notion that she owed him even something as small as an apology.

Sighing as she walked through the door of the dealership, she pasted a smile on her face as she greeted Agnes. The older woman returned her smile with a friendly one of her own, and offered her a plate of cookies. Haley had to laugh at the daily routine of refusing sweets from her kind coworker, and she was relieved to feel her mood lighten up slightly.

"Agnes, would you mind staying for a few more minutes and covering the phones? I need to speak with Dan about a few things."

"Sweetie, you are a half hour early. You take your time," Agnes smiled. "I've got a few things to finish up anyway."

"Thanks!" Haley beamed, heading towards his office immediately. Before she could even knock, she heard his voice beckoning her to enter. She pushed the door open, but stood on the threshold, staring at him in horror as she took in his black and blue eye.

With a small smirk, Dan set down his papers and motioned her in the door. "Take a seat, Haley. I'm guessing you heard what happened with my younger son."

Tripping rather ungracefully into the chair indicated, she slowly shook her head. "Um, no. I didn't go to school today, and I've been ignoring my cell phone. I – Nathan _hit_ you?"

Dan laughed at that, shaking his head. "He didn't hit me, but we did play a rather spirited game of one-on-one."

"Your eye looks that awful from playing basketball?" she asked doubtfully. "Was this punching basketball?"

"Nathan did not hit me, Haley. He did, however, throw a very well-aimed elbow when he knew I was right behind him." Haley groaned at that, shaking her head a little. "He's angry with my, Haley. Unfortunately, I let him goad me into the game even though I knew what was going to happen."

She sighed in exasperation. "What is it with you Scott men and basketball? Nathan and Luke have used it to fight, and now you and Nathan? There is something seriously wrong with all of you."

He managed a small chuckle. "Some might say that there is something wrong with you since you willingly joined the family. We're just working with what we were born into. What's your excuse?"

"Oh, great," she muttered, laughing weakly. "That's definitely worse." Sighing, she looked him in the eye. "I should've given you some warning, Dan. I hope he didn't just show up here and go after you in front of everyone."

"It was at the river court, actually, and it was just the two of us. I have to admit, I was a little surprised that you had told him."

She grimaced at that. "I hadn't exactly been planning on telling anyone anything," she admitted ruefully. "It just sort of came out. I'm not sorry that I told him, but I should've given you a call to let you know that he knew about Luke and the medication. Maybe you could've avoided all this."

Dan laughed genuinely at that. "Nathan and I avoid a fight? There was no avoiding this one, Haley. Besides, his anger wasn't really over what's going on with Lucas. Not entirely, anyway."

Haley frowned. "Well, why is he so angry with you if not for the Luke stuff?"

"For involving you in everything," he sighed, smiling slightly. "Nathan is angry that I forced you to work her for me. He doesn't want me to have any contact with you."

She blinked in surprise at that revelation. "What? _That's_ what he's mad about? Sometimes I just don't get what he's thinking! I mean, worried about Luke, that would make sense. Why on earth would he be worried about me?"

"You're his wife, Haley. That's more than enough."

Haley looked up at him with a blank look on her face. Shaking her head to clear away the confusion, she offered Dan a tentative smile. "Regardless of whatever is bothering Nathan, I am sorry. I really should have given you warning. It's not like I couldn't have figured out what he'd do with such news."

Dan brushed the apology aside with a dismissive wave of his hand. "Like I said, it really wouldn't have mattered, Haley. He was spoiling for a fight, and he would've found a way to get what he wanted regardless if I had been forewarned."

She shifted uncomfortably, sighing deeply. "Okay, well, I'm going to go get some work done now. Have you made the final decision on guest list yet? I need to get that to the printers this week so the invitations go out appropriately early."

"Yeah, yeah, I'll print it out and put it in your inbox."

"Dan, you have email for a reason. Just attach it and send it to me that way. I can clean it up and then forward it on to the printers much easier that way." She rolled her eyes pointedly. "You know how to do that, right? You're far too young to be this inept about computers. Agnes has this stuff down, and she is literally a great-grandmother."

He laughed at the jab. "I know, I know. We are working on it as you are well aware."

"I know," she smirked. "Okay, I'm off to get some work done. I, um, hope your eye doesn't hurt too bad."

"Not half as bad as my pride," he muttered to himself as she pulled the door shut behind her. Sighing, he glanced around his office, his gaze wandering over the old basketball trophies and awards. They were…important to him, and he knew that was probably something of an understatement. At the very least, it didn't truly explain how much of his identity was wrapped up in accolades heaped upon him nearly two decades ago.

Standing up, he winced as the sudden movement jarred his swollen and bruised eye. He walked over to the shelf that held his state championship MVP trophy, and reached out to pick it up. It was a typical high school award, made of light, inexpensive wood and metal colored plastic. There was very little weight to it, but it felt heavy in his hand. Unable to hold it any longer, he set it back down in its place on the shelf. Making a hasty decision, he grabbed his coat, let the staff know he was leaving for the day and walked out the door.

He jumped in his car and headed straight for the café. He knew Karen was likely to be there, and for once, he was hoping that Lucas would not. He needed to talk to someone who would tell him the truth in the most straightforward, blunt manner possible, and he knew that Karen could pull that off without it devolving into a screaming match like Deb would. And if he was really being honest, a part of him wanted to see her and hear her thoughts on things. He would welcome her opinions, even though he had no doubt how difficult they'd be to hear.

He paused outside the door to the café, relieved to not see Lucas immediately. As anticipated, Karen was sitting at one end of the counter looking over some books. He pushed through the door and made his way over to her. As he neared, she glanced up at him. Her eyebrows shot up at the sight of his eye, but she merely regarded him curiously for a moment before letting it go. "Hello Dan. Lucas isn't here tonight. He went out with some friends to do whatever terrifying things it is that seventeen year old boys do."

"Actually, I was hoping to speak with you," Dan admitted, feeling slightly out of place. "If now isn't convenient, that's fine. I was just hoping you could help me gain some perspective, I think. With the added bonus of your trademark brutal honesty."

He knew his words shocked her as much as his black eye had; how could they not? But to her credit, she only betrayed the surprise with a raised eyebrow. "No, now is fine. I'm not technically working tonight, so now would actually be good. Let me put these away and grab us some coffee. Is that table in the corner alright? Or is this going to be a 'yelling' conversation?"

He chuckled at that, surprisingly grateful that she'd managed to break the ice. "No, I don't think there will be yelling. As long as you can contain yourself."

"I'll do my best," she stated dryly. He watched as she gathered her things up and retreated to the kitchen. It was only when the door she disappeared through swung shut that he moved towards the table she had pointed out.

As he shoved his hands into his pockets, he realized that he was nervous. While Karen had been generally courteous and pleasant to him when he was visiting with Lucas and had even joined them for dinner a few times, they hadn't had any kind of conversation that would be considered personal and honest in about seventeen years. This figured to be intense and uncomfortable on both of their parts.

He sat down, drumming his fingers and tapping his foot. He could not remember the last time that he was this nervous about anything, but in the grand scheme of ironies, he thought it might have been before his first date with Karen so many years ago. That actually brought a little smile to his face as he tried to settle himself down a little. Being on edge to start this conversation seemed like a recipe for disaster, and he didn't want this to go south the way he was so good at sending them.

Karen passed back through the door, stopping briefly to give a few instructions to the waitress on duty, giving him a chance to observe her quietly. Despite the years that had passed, she still looked young – far younger than he felt, at any rate – and she definitely still had that vibrant quality that attracted everyone to her. It was the kindness she had then and now that kept them near her.

Except for him. He'd been the one person who had not only let her go, but forcibly removed her from his life.

Sighing, he pushed those thoughts away. They weren't for tonight, and maybe they wouldn't be ready for discussion for some time. She approached the table, sitting down across from him and sliding a mug of coffee to him. "Cream, one sugar?"

He blinked in surprise. "Yeah. I guess some things never really change, do they?"

Karen gave him a small smile at that. "And some things change a lot, Dan. Are you okay? You look like hell, by the way. I hope the other guy looks worse."

"The other guy was Nathan," Dan groaned, "And he looks just fine. Honestly, I deserved taking the elbow for…a lot of reasons."

"I see," Karen murmured quietly. "I take it that's not really what you wanted to talk about tonight."

"Not exactly, but in the end, I suppose it all relates," he sighed, picking up his coffee and taking a sip. "I wanted to ask you a question. I'm trying to figure some things out, and you've known me about as long as anyone, so I'm hoping you might help."

Her eyebrows lifted at that, and her head tipped to the side as she regarded him curiously. "Ask away. If I have an answer, I'll give it."

He chuckled at that. "That was the other thing, I figured you'd be more than happy to lay out any and all unpleasant truths for me."

She shrugged, a little smirk playing about her lips. "Well, go on, what's this big question?"

"I was in my office at the dealership this afternoon, and I was looking at some of my basketball trophies. Do you remember the one I got for winning the state tournament MVP award our senior year?" She nodded. Of course she did. "It's such a cheap thing, light wood and plastic that looks like gold."

"The same cheap crap they give out now," she offered, trying to lighten the mood. She wasn't sure if she was going to be thrilled with where this conversation was going.

He smiled, looking as awkward as she felt. "Back then, do you think I cared about anything other than basketball? I remember thinking and caring about other things, but now I'm not sure if that isn't something I've convinced myself of to make it all seem less…cold."

She leaned forward, her elbows resting against the table as she gazed at him. Determining his question genuine, she sighed. "No, I don't think that was all you cared about back then," she told him truthfully. "Dan, I don't think it has ever been all that you've cared for even when it might have seemed otherwise."

Dan nodded, but he did not look in the least convinced. "I'm not so sure about that, especially the last part. If I did, if I cared about things other than basketball, then why have I done all the things that I've done?"

"Looking at your old awards brought all this on, huh?" she asked, not unkindly. She wasn't really sure what she thought about this conversation, but she could tell that he was genuine in wanting her opinion on this matter. "What's really going on with you, Dan?"

"I guess everything is catching up with me," he sighed, shaking his head a little. "Maybe realizing just how angry Nathan is with me, how difficult it will be to breach that, has left me wondering where exactly it was that I went wrong. When did I become this person who made every possible wrong choice that came his way?"

Karen regarded him patiently, a little bit of understanding dawning. "Dan, you weren't born that way. If you want to start making better choices, you can. You're already proving that."

"I think I'm still in the 'trying' phase," he noted wryly, but did look pleased by her assertion. "Why are you – well, I shouldn't ask this, but why have you let me spend time with Lucas?"

Taken aback, she picked up her mug and took a few sips of coffee to compose herself. "Well, I suppose that number one, he's old enough to make that choice on his own. I wouldn't stand in his way even if I thought it a terrible idea."

"But you'd let him know what you thought," Dan pointed out with a smirk.

"Oh, absolutely, he's my kid," Karen laughed. "But he's old enough to make his own decisions about you. He's a good boy, and he's smart. And number two, I think you're sincere, too. So does Haley. If all three of us see some sincerity in you, it must be there."

He nodded, still frowning slightly. He looked her right in the eyes. "I appreciate that, but I – I still want to know when this happened. When I became the guy who couldn't do anything right by his family, even when he wanted to so badly."

She was fairly certain that she knew what he was alluding to, but she knew neither of them were ready to press on that subject. What happened between them when they were young was a subject much better suited for another place and another time. "You've made bad choices, Dan. I can't argue with you on that. All the same, is dwelling on them doing you any good? Look, it's like I told Haley: sometimes you make mistakes. We all do. But once you own up to them and try to fix them, you let them go. Oh, I'm not saying to forget or anything like that, but you can't spend all your time blaming yourself for everything you've done wrong. Maybe you need to stop and think about what caused you to make the choices that you made."

"What if it's never enough?" he asked, the barest trace of bitterness in his tone. "What if Nathan never forgives me?"

Reaching out, she covered his hands where they were wrapped around his coffee mug with her own. "It might take time, but someday it'll be enough. If it's worth enough for you to keep trying, then he'll figure out that it's enough someday, too."

He looked up at her, and she could see the gratitude and hope in his eyes. They were slightly obscured by the bitterness and frustration, but they were there. He nodded, tiredly closing his eyes. "I think I was scared."

She blinked in confusion at the subject change. "What?" she asked, rather inelegantly.

"I was scared. I think that was, at least at first, why I made so many bad choices. Or maybe just the first couple were based on fear, and it snowballed from there." He looked her in the eye. "When you called to tell me that you were pregnant, I was afraid. I know you were, too, and with better reason, but I was. I didn't know what to do, and somehow every single thing I did after that managed to be wrong."

She nodded, tracing her finger around the rim off the mug, a habit he remembered from so long ago. "You panicked. I know. Well, I know now. Then, well, back then I was just hurt." She shook her head a little and gave him a rueful smile. "But that's not what you're here to talk about."

He smiled back. "Do you want to talk about it? It's – well, it's incredible that we never have, but I guess until recently, I've done a good job making sure our paths never crossed."

She laughed – a real, genuine laugh – at that. "Don't hog all the credit there. You weren't the only one who wasn't eagerly seeking out a confrontation. It was easier to maintain the status quo of pretending like everything, all things between us and the way our lives intermingled didn't exist."

"Sometimes I'd see you two at the grocery store," he admitted. "I know it doesn't seem like it, but there were so many times I wanted to talk to you…to talk to Lucas. There were a couple of times when he was young, eight or so, that I almost approached him. But I just couldn't. I don't know why."

Karen nodded thoughtfully at that. "Well, let's be honest: if you had approached him there's a good chance I would've had to kill you. Then where would any of us be?"

In spite of himself and the seriousness of the conversation, he laughed. "I suppose so. I've told Luke this, but I want you to know it, too. I'm sorry. I'm sorry it's taken me so long to get to the point where I can admit my mistakes and acknowledge that I put myself in a position to miss out on his life." He looked down at their hands where they rested on the table. "I'm sorry for spending almost 17 years making every wrong decision possible."

Karen sighed, allowing him a small smile. "I know. It's not easy to – to forget, but I know."

"I'm not asking you to forget. I'm not even asking you to forgive." He drummed his fingers on the table. "I know I don't have that right. But if you know, if you at least know it, then maybe that's enough."

She took a deep breath, nodding sharply once. "I don't really know what to say, Dan. It's not that I'm doubting your sincerity, but this…there's a lot of history here, Dan. It's just going to take time."

Dan nodded earnestly. "I know. I really do know that, Karen. And let's face it, I'm probably going to mess up at some point. Maybe multiple points. It's harder to drop this attitude I've been wearing like a mask for the last seventeen years than you'd think."

"I don't doubt that," she sighed, grimacing slightly at the memories of what that so-called mask resulted in for her and Lucas. "You wore that mask really well, Dan. You were fully immersed in it."

"I know," he agreed softly, "But I want to change that now. I think that's the only thing I'm asking for, that you give me the chance to change."

"That I can do," she agreed, again covering his hand with hers and squeezing it gently. "If you keep making my son happy, then I can definitely do that."

Somehow, she knew that was enough for him in that moment as it was for her. All the rest would come later if it was meant, and while she knew that this redemption Dan was seeking would not come easy for any of them, she was beginning to really believe that it might indeed come. That, too, was enough.


End file.
